julia-portfolio

[julia-portfolio]

Degree show

Alright so, since my last tutorial I’ve been working on my concept for the degree show although a degree show is not happening I have to continue with my degree as if there would be a show. I have opinions on that but whatever, we all do.  Anyway, so the concept changed since the idea of the 7 deadly sins well... not changed just adjusted to fit the narrative. The idea is to create a long corridor and 4 rooms themed around 4 different sins and rituals that go with it. I have been playing around the ideas of the room and locations and how it would present but I have stayed mostly realistic if this was actually happening the next month or so. Off course I’d love to go big and really go out of my comfort zone but its difficult with everything that’s been going on. Anyway, I’ve started to work on the concept of one of the sins which is Wrath. I’ve been able to work on that one the best because of the current situation we are in and the supplies I am able to get to make the videos and rituals happen. With the idea of wrath I wanted to mainly focus on the destruction. That's why there are clips of the make up being removed. The jumping between the different scenes is to play on the idea of entanglement and time. There is not a lot more to say as I have plenty more to work on and adjust with this piece.

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Struggles

With a very few days left till deadlines begin yesterday was horrible, not only did I wake up with a migraine and had it all day to the point where I couldn't do anything at all, I had a meeting with a tutor and it was useful but very confusing. I’ m not quite sure what I’m actually supposed to be doing???? well I do know I have more to do because plans have changed massivelyyyyyyyyy or well, I’ve been guided in a different direction? I guess? I actually don't know what happened. I was supposed to be making some work that fits the current state which if applied towards my degree show would adjust easier... I guess that was wrong? maybe? Well either way I have to start working on something today seeing as I lost yesterday to chronic pain I have to do double the work today. The main point is research and planning and starting my presentation for Monday... I am just hella confused 

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Photoshop reopened

Soooooo, as I’ve been applying to different exhibitions I needed some art. Thought to myself alright lets attempt to make these bed sheet ghosts and even got the photoshop out. I did 2. 

Let me go into a little more detail, the idea came from me wanting to actually recreate horror movie scenes with comedic aspects/mocking aspects like when I used fake candles with the bathtub installation. I read a book recommend by a friend about spiritual and ghost photography back in the 1800th century. I was inspired by bed sheet ghosts being at awkward places and horror related places. My idea was to go to an actual forest set up a tripod and bed sheet ghosts suspended from tree branches. I didn’t get a chance to before quarantine so photoshop it is. The purpose of these is supposed to be funny. It really plays on the mockery of horror films while still discussing the occult. It’s not that serious but just some collage art to keep myself going and creating something while stuck at home. Obviously this isn’t my main body of work but it’s something to go along with it. Some quick art that I can use to apply with for exhibitions. 

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Astronomy

Something I haven't mentioned in my work is my passion and practice for astronomy and never thought to include it... weirdly enough astronomy and astrology are both part of the occult and science. I did have ideas of art to create around astronomy. I thought what if I mocked it by creating my own horoscopes, very crude ones that fully mock the way it’s presented in the modern world. There is a lot of ways to read astronomy and zodiac signs or sun and moon signs. There is a lot of maths for it.. I had ideas that I never did. Didn’t feel like throwing that in the mix. Maybe one day I’ll do something. Anyway, recently there’s been a meteor shower. I love meteor showers and the way people react to ‘shooting stars’ and to make wishes and that association, it all comes from the pagan times where people actually believed in the power of the universe (before Christianity and the idea of a god). It’s been a tradition in my family whenever there is a meteor rain, my mum, sister and I sit and watch. Couldn't really do that this year because of isolation and the distance. Anyway. I wanted to create a look inspired by it. Continue my practice of painting and again it’s a 2am project. 

This look is very different from all of my designs. This is very calm and relaxing and peaceful. It’s also very literal. With the meteor on fire on my chest. I absolutely loved painting this. It was difficult but the more I practice the more I end up happy! 

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Easter break

While I’ve been working on my deadlines and my research and planning we had a ‘mask’ parade (online) for Easter. I don’t do masks... I paint faces so that’s what I did! I did a woodland creature. I needed to practice with scar wax. Scar wax being one of those things that are... horrible to work with but I did succeed in some part of it. Maybe not the nose because of the heat from my nose and coldness of the wax it wasn’t sticking but the steam/sweat kept sliding it around. It was quite disgusting actually though I didn't mind it at all. I just wanted to go with my earth/wood/nature themes and I did it. I turned myself into a character that’s lost it’s horns but has an elf nose, quite glamorous and seductive eyes, veins/cracks on the face and either drinks blood or is bleeding from the mouth... many ways to go here but it all came from my visual research of different mythology/folktale woodland characters. I basically took the pieces I liked and put together. I became Frankenstein on myself.

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Comic p2

Alright so... I got inspired by a tik tok by my favourite SFX artist and you can collaborate with others tik toks, she did bat woman... I did poison ivy. Same universe I think?? but definitely good way for me to continue the character creation and practice the body language and facial expressions and the paint job as well. It’s not at all my favourite look if I’m h=being honest. The leaves are winding me up because how balky they look and this was another till 6am project. Insomnia is wonderful but at last I was being somewhat productive. 

I have noticed that in a weird way... through details my art and SFX projects work together. This character is very earth related and has some visual relations to my Rosalka… 

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OH MY GOODNESS

GOOD NEWS!!!! I GOT MOTIVATED. 

I started reading Dante's Inferno from last year because of a tik tok I saw. It inspired me and I literally had a revelation. I came up with what to do with myself and how to adapt my degree show to still be able to do it and I’ve got the research and the plans and I... I can't believe I am actually being somewhat productive!

New idea: 7 deadly sins. Typical mythology/folktale. I want to create a website, only those who have a link or password will be allowed to enter. There will be different doors you enter on the website and you enter the world of a deadly sin. I want to use my SFX to create the deadly sins and do film work. This will go beyond uni and I will continue to work at it. It will be a long project especially since I am not a tech person. The way I want the sins to present themselves in the videos is to have them do something they would be doing on repeat and almost turn it into a literal ritual by repeat. There is a lot more to it. I was thinking of maybe having them talk and fully show the personality of each character or something. I have been researching each sin and designing and planning. I am just happy I found something to feel passionate about!!! Before I take on that task I need to practice a little more and make sure I’m prepared. I know for a fact I will need to probably re-do everything multiple times.  If there will be an actual show one day I could possibly use virtual reality or something as part of it. I want to make this virtual, I want to make this horror like in real life which was what my plan for the degree show was anyway. I will bring the aspect of rituals through the actions of the sins. 

[julia-portfolio]

Other mother

So I actually managed to get out of bed and did some art... I guess. I wanted to do something detailed to get my hand to stop shaking and calm myself down. I was watching coraline and wanted to give it a go. I obviously didn’t want to recreate the other mother look to the cartoon detail but more so how would her face adapt to mine? That’s what I went with in the end. I enjoyed doing this look because it worked well and it gives me something to do at 2am when I cant sleep. Although I said I got out of bed... I never mentioned when. 

I planned this look out and once again filmed the process for tik tok! 

This look was one of those to create without thinking which was nice though looking back I definitely need to change a few things. But overall, I am okay with this one. Got me doing things and deadlines are approaching faaasstt. I feel stressed but it’s not like, I need to get this work done stress. Just stress that I am not doing anything and don't feel good enough. 

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Art??????

Weelllll, I bought printer inks for my printer but my printer is still choosing to be difficult! :D I attempted to do some very bad collage art just to motivate myself a little bit more you know. I had a vision of sticking bed sheet ghosts onto different locations. Because of my printer it didn't turn out as I wanted it to and I am not a pro at photoshop to try again. Maybe at some point if I find the motivation but for now those go into my sketchbook for the sake of it. 

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QUARANTINE!

WELL HERE WE ARE. IN full lockdown isolation due to a virus... didn’t expect at all in my 21 years I’d live through an actual pandemic. Uni has been closed. Online classes are now a thing. I don’t go my anxiety has been hitting peak during this time. I haven't left the house in so long. It’s safer this way and I am one of the luck ones. I discovered tik tok due to the boredom... I make tik toks now and create short viral like videos on how I do my SFX make up... Another form of documentation. I found something so useful with that app... There is literally no limits as to what and how I can create... Would like to say it’s now part of my art practice but I think it’s too cinematic and literal for it to be art. It’s still a pop cultured way I document my SFX creations. Here is a look I did during the boredom that I did to continue my practice of character creation while I’m in isolation (I’m a high risk person) and extremely unmotivated. I know I need to be doing things but anxiety took over and now even have panic attacks about my sleeping so have become a procrastinating insomniac to top it off. I am being pushed very far beyond what I can handle and have been experiencing depressive episodes too. I have been pushed over the edge with my patience and my self control over my bpd as there is so much I can take. My safe space has now becoming a burden. Anyway. The look. SFX Cheshire cat. Had and idea and wanted to execute it. It’s been a while since I did SFX and after I take a break and come back to it, it’s either a good piece or a bad piece. This one in my eyes, can do with a little more fine details and I don't know... I am very unsure of myself and very doubtful of myself so I just don’t like it. 

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All images of the installation

Also this piece got chosen and voted for by people to be in top 10 or top 20 out of our uni year and the year bellow and it was supposed to be a part of an exhibition. I got annoyed. I needed this piece for a show we had planned for a London Gallery so my tutors decided to print a large image and use that. Then the virus came and uni got shut so my bathtub never got the glory it deserved. 

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Bathtub installation

So here is the piece!!! You can’t quite see the black bin bags underneath that well but trust me it is there. In the water there are flower petals. I also wanted to play with people’s senses when they entered the room and put soooooo much smelling stuff in that water. Bath salts and oils. Some accidentally turned the water pink but that had it’s positives. Kind of a homage to my earlier art with romance themes (weddings traditions).

Alright... so the feedback was mad. Many different things from many different people and it was all so useful and great. I’m so happy that finally my installation worked as an installation! The smell lingered in the room and invited people into this dark room with a bathtub in the middle with creepy candles about. The themes and context was there all brilliant. Unfortunately someone else's piece was in the room and they used light as well. So every time someone entered the room their piece had to be turned off to achieve the full capacity potential of my piece. I was so happy with my feedback, the positive and the negative constructive feedback too. It helped me imagine the next steps for the degree show!!!! Some people say that the still image worked so good, gave that memory aspect and the time aspect but there were people who wanted movement because they were anticipating. I wanted them to anticipate to be honest but it was slightly annoying that I was trying to move away from moving image to still image and that’s what some people were missing. Some people said it wasn't just the image movement but just movement all together. So in some pictures the water is still and in others its moving from where I've created waves by moving the bathtub. The waves were the more successful ones. It added such a calming sound and chaotic movement. I’d maybe have to buy a wave creator or build something to move the bathtub around to create them naturally like a motor but time is short so I have to be quick. Sound was also something a lot of people were missing, maybe very over the top horror movie sound tracks or calming sounds of some sort. The silence was too uncomfortable for some people and I understand. The piece would be designed to be seen by 1 person in the room in complete darkness and silence but because it was only a crit show I couldn’t achieve the 100% capacity of my plans but it was something to certainly look to do for the degree show. 

Overall I am happy, I am so happy with the progress I have made and the trials and fails and successful art I have created that led me to this piece. Now to continue working forward. 

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experiments 101

Now that I practiced with still image I wanted to see if maybe I could re try including still image into an installation... the words worked so I had other plans to use those and the installation was something I needed to give another go. So I thought what if I recreate the ritual in the room quite literally with the still image being projected into the bathtub. I went and got a bathtub and oops forgot to fill out a risk assessment so wasn’t quite allowed to use it but I did it anyway. I sealed everything properly and that work when water was filled inside. Oh someone at the last crit mentioned me using fake candles to help the mocker... well I went and got fake candles. I got the real ones too but obviously I was already playing with a big tub of water I wasn’t going to play with fire and have myself get into bigger trouble. I set everything up the day before it was necessary. So far the tutors were happy with this attempt at installation. It didn't feel unnecessary or stupid... I kept going. I placed the candles around and set up the projection into the bathtub. Then I was picking one of the images from my edited folder. I played about with different images and different ways it’s projected onto the bathtub. I found the perfect one and then one of my tutors helped and guided me with the little details. The set up of the bathtub so the projection looks like the person is lying in it normally. Then sticking some masking tape around the corners of the projector to get rid of the harsh lines of the image projected. The fake and real candles were AMAZING. The real candles were basically half melted so gave that idea that someone was already there. The fake candles were flickering which was very eerie and helped mock that horror movie like atmosphere and played part of present tense. Then the projection... The still image, closed eyes and split in half. The image was still and it caused anticipation for what could be happening in the future. So I had the theory of time and memory put down in the small details. Then just to be sure I put black bin bags under the bathtub. I didn't notice but... I kind of created a cross shape... accidental but it totally worked. It had it’s flaws but worked amazingly!!! It made the ritual come through stronger and had aspects of mockery of in horror films as weirdly enough in horror films its usually religion fighting with the occult themes. Then next day came and my goodness... power cut in the room and the projector wasn't working.. I swear my art is cursed or something because even last year, I’ve always had technical electrical issues. This year they've been manageable until an entire room power cut??? took about 3 or 4 different technicians to sort it out until they found the box and sorted it out. THANK GOD. 

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Circle of rituals

The words: I wanted the words to be documentary style. Very matter of fact and not literal how I’ve been advised too. So the words don't have gender or time. They worked well and everyone enjoyed them being a part of the piece. There was no way the words was giving away the piece!!

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back to words...

During the feedback I spoke to a guest artist and mentioned to him I wanted to use words again and he loved it as he was an artist who used words and told me to go for it and told me how I could apply it the best way for the words to not destroy and be too much for the piece all together. I followed his instructions and wanted to test them out with the images from the previous piece together but bigger. I printed out 2 more images on acetate paper (same 2 images) and then the words on acetate. Then came the maths. I wanted to hang the images from the ceiling again with fishing wire in a circle. I had 8 images and it became an octagon, I had to measure out the images and the space I was working with in order to hang them the best way. Another thing that got in the way was that there was no way for the fishing wire to be connected straight up to the ceiling in the studio’s and I basically had to create suspension wires from wall to wall and measure the distance out between those as well. It was hard work and the piece took me about 6 hours to put up. I was concerned about the weight of the images hanging of the fishing wire that’s suspended on more fishing wire. It kept messing up and they were all different heights and I had to spend another 2 hours adjusting each image so they were somewhat same level. All together the piece worked great. The feedback was interesting. Someone mentioned ww2 and Auschwitz because they thought the pentagram in the images looked like a Jewish David's star... interesting but that was one persons opinion. The rest was interesting. People this time mentioned that the photos and words looked like enlarged film stills but because of the clips it looked like a police investigation used in mind mapping. The clips need to go basically. The idea of a ritual and spiritual place was noticed and the memory topic came up. So far so good. The only thing that came across wrong was my way of mocking horror film portrayal of the occult. People thought me including the pentagram was how I was mocking it rather than the style of the images, something to definitely think about. 

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Next step

I picked those 2 as the ones I wanted to use. I was drawn to these ones the most because they look the most artificial and over the top. I wanted to print these off on acetate. Acetate being a clear plastic was a fantastic idea. I played on the idea of clarity of water and ghosts! Because my plan was to hand these up and have the one with me in it peek through the one without me in it. I wanted them to look like the old school edited ghost photographs. One time the persons not there the other time its not. Like move eye portraits. That didn’t quite work out because they were both too dark, so they were handing from the ceiling, using fishing wire and bulky clips and they were hanging back to back with space in between. I don’t actually have any good photos of the images hanging up back to back. You just have to imagine !! anyway, The feedback was interesting. Some people didn’t understand the concept of time, of someone being there once and the other time they’re not although the idea of memory and nostalgia came through because of the still image! The ritual came through and the mocking of horror films did too! Fantastic, though some people hated the bulky clips. This was at the end of the day an experiment. I was trying out still image as I’ve been doing plenty of film work in the year. Some people were even interested in the space between the images. Very various feedback mostly positive. Someone suggested making it bigger, maybe even in a pagan like symbol... like a circle as circles were used in rituals! All good, so now I had to make the work a bigger scale and work with it.

Another comment that made me happy, the movement of the images swaying when someone walked past made them look very spiritual and like bed sheet ghosts! 

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Okay soooo...

Those are the photographs. I included the ones I edited and you can see the style I was going for.