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Do you ever want to die, just out of spite? Because someone pissed you off or treated you in some ridiculous way? It would be easier. No schoolwork. No stress. No relationship worries; what can I do what can’t I do, who can I talk to, who can’t I talk to, how do I do this, where do I put that? Lately ive been tired. Just so, so tired. And my parents think that the easy explanation is “the phone will be out in the kitchen tonight.” And for some reason they don’t understand that that isn’t going to help me? Most times I love how I can become completely lost in my phone, how I can do anything at all with it and that in itself could transport me to a mentally completely different world. But yeah nah. My reasons for being so tired could be answered with more sleep but how can we sleep when our minds are going at 100mph? exam block starts on Thursday and my first exam is maths. Its maths A so that’s fairly simple right? In a way it is but its still maths, its still education. It involves learning and at the moment that’s just too much right now. Over the next two weeks, starting next Thursday I have exam block. 5 days and 5 exams. I assignment. Monday: English Persuasive Speech, Due and Presented, Thursday: Maths, Friday: Modern, Monday: Study of Religion (OP RE), Tuesday: Legal Studies, Wednesday: Biology. I believe that that is too much. I am stressed. Recently I went to a skin care solution place, for my face. My acne isn’t extremely bad it just wasn’t going away and my mother wanted to find out why. The first session we went to the lady told me that I was cleaning my face too much, that I needed to drink more water and basically I was extremely dehydrated in my face. She gave me serum and told me to moisturise regularly, make sure I was wearing sunscreen at school as well as avoiding the sun and to use hot water on my face after school. That was fairly simple, it made me feel happy that I was making a change and actually doing something that will change my face. One week later I went back to the specialists to get a microdermabrasion *I had a phone break soz* anyway. So basically a microdermabrasion is when they use this vacuum type thing on my face to scrape off all of the dead skin. I mean, that’s wonderful I was really happy to get it done, I had beliefs that I was going to walk out of the joint and be able to see my boyfriend that night with an amazingly smooth and unblemished face. It cost $200. And that wasn’t the outcome. For starters is hurt, not a lot though. And after she was done it burnt to put moisturiser on, or any cream or serum. Just anything on my face pained me and that means touching as well. The lady assured me that this was just because the skin was brand new, that I shouldn’t be worried redness and tightness just happened. She said that there could be some bruising but that was just the red blood cells replacing the old yucky ones. Terrific. I walked out and was informed of what to put on my face, received new cleaning and moisturising gells (another $30) and was assured that my face would be looking great after 2 days, nothing a little make up couldn’t hide until then, right? I was wrong. End of story though because this is actually such a waste of time. I should be studying actually. But yeah, my cheekbones, chin and just to my eyebrows got really dry, I had really bad scabbing and brusing along my cheeks and that didn’t go away for 4 days. I had to walk around school with massive scabs on my cheeks and endure stares and questions. I started making up stories tho, as to why my face was like this.and you may think ‘why didn’t you just put make-up on it? Duh!’ well I did on Monday and the Saturday after I got it done but sadly I wasn’t able to cover these massive, dark marks. It sucked. Then when it came off (day 5/day6) my pimples were there, only red and itchy. It was so depressing. It still Is and today is day 6. To have my mum spend $200 on me for something that didn’t even work!? I feel cheated and lied to, I feel so sorry for my mum and I wish I just had have told her no. told her that I didn’t want to fix it.

   My boyfriend didn’t say much about it. Weve been dating for 2 months now and everything just feels so rushed. It feels like we’re always together though when you think about it we rarely are. At lunch time we sit and walk around together then go to each others lockers and I eventually walk to class by myself because that’s just how it works out. After school he comes and waits for me at the bus stop and gives me a hug goodbye. Then on the bus I wait for him to text me, always wanting to text him but hating it because it feels like im so connected to him. Its clinginess but its like isolation and I don’t know why. Ill sit on the bus and talk to my friends, my best friend and I catch the same bus so shes always great to talk to but this all makes no sense. Why would I feel that I don’t want to be around him but everytime I am around him I feel so calm and happy? I want to text him and don’t truly feel calm until I am ? but that’s so strange. Ive never been like that. The bf thinks that this is just my mark in every relationship where I question it. And I have been like ive been worried that spending time away from me is going to be happier than I am when im with him. And that kind of happened today, I spent the lunch with her and then he came over towards the end and we all sat together and it wasn’t too bad other than the fact that they didn’t really talk and it was kinda like being between two convos until I tried to connect them. But when I was walking to my locker with him I didn’t feel that I wanted space, I was happy. Second lunch wasn’t too good. I was happy with him being beside me but I had a friend on the other side and for some reason I might have just preferred it to be me and her? Idk maybe im just feeling too much all at once. I go overseas for 3 weeks on the 30th so maybe that will be the real turning point in our relationship. I asked him about having space and he just didn’t give much of an answer, he said that he might lose feelings from not being around me as smuch. I don’t know how to feel about that. But im not going to change my mind on this for fear of breaking up. If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be.

 Well yeah so that’s it. Thanks for reading if you’re really in the mood.

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Omg and then again she says "you could win the hand of a king looking like that, or a Crown Prince"

I can't handle it.

I’m rereading Throne of Glass right and I came across the bit where Philippa was dressing Celaena and Philippa says ‘it’s such a pity you are who you are. I wouldn’t be surprised if you managed to ensnare some lord into marriage. Maybe even His Highness.’ And I couldn’t help but feel that it was a little bit of foreshadowing on SJM’s behalf.

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What if like instead of Aelin dying, Dorian , Manon and herself just like kill the gods? Probably not possible but idk those theee are practically God's especially with the help of Rowan and Aedion, the cadre and Elide and Lysandra it feels like a possible theory :/

“Don’t fucking touch me.”- Rowaelin

Aelin had burrowed beep into her power. It was so much. So very much. Her skin was glowing with her fire sluicing through her veins. Her skin was hot, so very hot.

Rowan looked at her, concern shaded his eyes. He reached out to touch her, to try to anchor her to this world. He wouldn’t let her forget herself in her magic.

Inches away from her skin, he could feel the heat radiating off of her skin, he could see her clothes slowly start to burn away. This was the deepest she has ever delved into her magic.

Aelin slowly turned her head to face him. There was nothing human or fae in her face. It was pure power. Her eyes, gods be damned, were all gold, as if the gold had melted through the blue and left fire in her eyes

With a voice that sounded far away, Aelin said, “Don’t fucking touch me, You will burn. And I need you to live, Rowan. I need you to. Terrasen needs you.”

Turning her head, Aelin looked at Maeve, suspended in the air and slowly her skin began to glow. But unlike Aelin, It grew brighter and brighter. Maeve let out a scream that could shatter worlds.

Her skin grew brighter and brighter, her screams grew louder and louder. Maeve burst, full of light.

Nothing of her remained. Not even ash.

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It doesn't say that he does rescue his bride tho :(

More on Sarah J Maas Foreshadowing

So while rereading The Assassin and the Underworld after EoS something catched my attention.

Remember when Celaene went to Ardalan’s Theater? Well, I’m quoting here:

The music annihilated her.

The dancing was breathtaking, yes, and the story it told was certainly lovely - a legend of a prince seeking to rescue his bride, and the cunning bird he captured to help him do it - but the music.

Who is the Prince? Our beloved Rowan Whitethorn

Who is the bride? Our suffering Queen Aelin

And who is the cunning bird? My guess is Vaughan, one of the members of the cadre from whom we know next to nothing and whose animal form is an osprey.

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I haven't seen the original cover :(

Tidbits from SJMaas's Fenton Booksigning

*This evening was GREAT! Sarah is so charming and charismatic in person and has the sillies laugh in the world! Here are some things she said and talked about:

*Quote of the night (in reference to being nervous her grandma reading about the three day sex session in ACOMAF): “Apparently my grandma’s cool with the smut.” In fact, her grandma said that the graphic erotica was right up her alley!

*Chaol was going to be named Chaos but it was too much like Final Fantasy. He also has a much more difficult last name that even Sarah had a hard time pronouncing so her editor made her change it.

*If she had to be bound by a blood oath to one of her characters, she’d choose Rhys from ACOTAR and Manon from TOG. She said Manon would probably be a cruel mistress and that she (Sarah) would probably be kicked out or not qualify for the 13 and be shoved into the coven that does everyone’s cooking.

*She is a huge fan of Batman and Gotham so she’s super excited to write Cat Woman, who is huge feminist icon for her. It should come out August 2018. To get the gig, she was asked for 3-4 pg synopsis of what she’d write about and she sent in a 22 page synopsis bc of how excited she was.

*ACOTAR is still a trilogy, the Feysand arc will be done in book 3. New book information is super secret. They Start coming out 2018, it’s 2 new books and a novella. They may be spinoffs or prequel, depends on who makes it through book 3 (😱), which she has already finished writing.

*She is NOT emotionally prepared to write book 6 of TOG but already has the ending and last line in mind and has for years.

*If she was Lysandra she would shape shift into “God’s finest creature, the velociraptor.” She has a stuffed one named Sarah Jr. that she sleeps with every night. If she had to shift into a character, she’d shift into Manon with the iron teeth and nails to torment people on the street. Or she’d shift into Feyre and summon wings to fly or Amren bc she scares everyone.

*She writes and edits chronologically to get into the character heads and hearts to go on the journey with them. Hof was one of the hardest books bc Aelin’s headspace was so dark and sad. She went on the journey with Aelin back to the light.

*ACOTAR and TOG don’t exist in the same planet or solar system, but the same megaverse, they’re on different planes of existence and if you opened a Wyrdgate you could cross over. She doesn’t currently have plans to connect them, but “you never know.”

*Doesn’t know how involved she’ll be in the tv show, she doesn’t have anyone in mind for the actress. It will be on Hulu. Kierra Snyder who write for the 100 will be the writer and SJM loves the show the 100. Also Anna Foerster who directed the wedding episode and other great episodes of Outlander will be the director. Sarah is excited about how many women are involved, she is all about female empowerment!

*Had fun writing EOS bc so much paid off from all of the little ties she’d been putting into precious books, but on an emotional level, HoF she is proudest of bc of the hard journey both her and Aelin went through. She loves all books bc reads them so much during the writing and editing process.

*Also, the original cover of ToG, the one most people hate, called it the “cheerleader barbie” cover and was so happy they changed it!

She said a lot of the cool stuff too and I got to sign a copy of her first book that she brings with her to her events to have her audience sign. She is so amazing!

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Boyo 😎

Reblog for Fenrys, like for Gavriel

i know ive done similar things but love seeing people’s response

Come on, do it

It’s for science

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This better not fricken happen

TOG6 Ending Imagine (WARNING: EOS Spoilers!)

As we all know, SJM is the Queen of Foreshadowing. That got me thinking - has she been foreshadowing the end since the beginning?

Rewind to the scene where young Aelin is with Marion at her parent’s estate. Marion realises that Aelin is the brightest hope for a future that their world has and so she sacrifices herself to defend her.

What if Aelin was pregnant when Maeve took her - or perhaps becomes pregnant at some point in TOG6? What if she sees her baby and realises the kind of world she will grow up in - full of death, terror and with Erawan constantly hanging over their heads?

What if, after her daughter is born, Aelin finally understood why Marion did what she did and realises that her sacrifice was not worthless? That sometimes, there is something worth dying for, worth giving up her future with Rowan and their child for.

Hope.

Aelin looks at her daughter, the future of their world, and turns to whoever is nearby to utter the words which she has carried for years but which suddenly she understands in a way she thought she never could.

“Tell my daughter… tell her I love her very much. And I’m sorry that I won’t see her grow up. Tell her that I gave her the world - that I gave her a future.”

With that, Aelin wipes her eyes and holds her daughter close before handing her away for the last time. She is no longer the last heir of Terrasen. There are no loose ends.

With that, Aelin grasps the Eye of Elena and the three Wyrdkeys. With a roar that sets the world trembling, she pours everything she has - every last drop of magic, each fragment of being - into the Lock.

She feels herself becoming empty, hollow and is truly afraid. She panics, fighting against the darkness threatening to consume her. She falls to the ground, gasping and shuddering as the last remnants of her power are ripped from her.

She lies there, barely conscious but still holding on. She truly fears the darkness, fears seeing the faces of all those she killed over the years condemn her. She can feel her body growing lighter, lighter and she struggles against what she knows is inevitable.

Images flicker before her eyes - her parents and uncle, smiling and laughing; Aedion, the boy and the man; Evangeline shrieking with laughter as Lysandra shifted between forms for her amusement. She sees Sam smile, frozen forever at eighteen, and the vulpine smile of her former master. She sees the brooding Captain of the Guard and the mischievous, sapphire eyed prince; she sees the healer with golden brown eyes she met once, long ago.

She sees the silver hair and bright green eyes of her beloved. Sees his smile, his voice, his laughter which are woven into the very thread of her being. He is what she most hates to leave behind - next to their daughter.

Her daughter. She has known her for barely a few days but already she loves her so much that she thinks it might set the world ablaze. She knows that Rowan will protect her and guide her - truly, she couldn’t leave if she didn’t know that she would have him to love her enough for both of them. She knows that Rowan will tell her all about her mother - Aelin hopes very much that she’ll understand why she did such terrible things over the years, that she won’t be judged too harshly.

The final image Aelin Ashryver Galathynius sees is not one of her memories. Perhaps it is imagination, perhaps a gift of prophecy from one of the gods to ease her mind.

A beautiful woman with stunning Ashryver eyes and flowing silver hair stood in the throne room of Orynth. Before her was the antler throne, the one Aelin has not seen for ten years, that her ancestors ruled from. The woman had a faint smile on her face as she looked to her right. Her father, his green eyes ambivalent with sadness and joy, held the antler crown aloft before settling it gently on her head. From several feet away, her court - the court her mother built for her, a court to change the world - looked on.

The young woman took a deep breath before slowly ascending the steps and turning to face the court. She sat on her throne, the throne she was born for, as shouts of Long live the queen! resounded throughout the hall.

She was strong and wise and powerful. She would bring peace and prosperity to her lands - to her people - for a thousand years.

Aelin smiles as the image faded from her view. A gift - truly a gift to know that she had succeeded. She had given the world its saviour.

She feels herself slipping away but she no longer fights it. She knows now that she was not being claimed by the darkness but rather becoming one with the light. And she was ready. She was grateful for the time she had.

Her name was Aelin Ashryver Galathynius - and she was not afraid.

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Fucking praise

PPL

MY PALS

Being kinda new to the sjm fandom i have to ask: is it normal that there’s all this collective, kindergarten like hissy fit?

Some ships are canon, some ships aren’t canon and some characters die or are absent(but are getting a fucking novella so what the hell is the problem); that’s how the AUTHOR WANTED IT TO BE. And for the love of fuck, stop hating on SJM that if it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t be here being whiny, respect the fucking author.

And really folks, we all have ship that sanked or that never were and never will be canon, and we deal with it, that’s what AU’s and fanfictions in general are for so stop with the hate and find your fucking chill.

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Gets me every time

Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas

“War-war was coming. And they might not all survive it.”

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Oh oh ohhhh and every year on the anniversary of Aelin's parents' death, she always sees a white stag!!!!!!

okay i know this is a far fetched theory

so I’m laying in bed thinking about ToG because what else do i do. And i start thinking about Brannon. We dont know much about him; we know he sired Elena and the Galathynius line that rules Terrasen. We know that although he’s a bastard he is a full blooded Fae. And we’re told that he died. But i dont think we were ever told HOW. in my experience if we dont have solid proof, the character is probably still alive.

Now remember how when Brannon left Wendlyn/Doranelle he took the immortal stags with him. Sure you can argue that he did that because he was the beloved of Mala Lightbringer and those stags were her sacred animals and he wanted to honour her or what ever. BUT what if Brannon’s animal form was the immortal stag of Terrasen??? What if he didnt actually die but instead chose to perhaps fake his death and live in the woods so that he could watch over his heirs and more importantly, the Wyrdkey.

Now youre probably saying “nah wtf he wouldve helped Aelin out for sure. He wouldnt have left her alone for 10 years. but magic wasnt working meaning that if he was in his stag form when magic got blocked, he wouldnt have been able to help. the only time Aelin might have seen him was when she was in the wagon on her way to Endovier and they passed the Oakwald forest, Brannon’s forest and she sees the stag staring at her.

i know this isnt what actually happened but its fun to fantasize 

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Maeve is me. She's like a jealous ex-girlfriend

I am 99.9% sure that Maeve orchestrated Lyria’s death. Seriously, it makes sense

Okay so hear me out. This is my biggest theory about the series because it is one that I genuinally believe.

Before Lyria’s death, Rowan was not bound to Maeve. He was a great warrior for her, but he had not taken the blood oath. We know this because when Rowan is telling the story in HoF, he says he took the oath years after Lyria’s death when Maeve sought him out again.

Think about it, Rowan is said to be the most powerful full blooded male fae alive, rivaled only maybe by Lorcan. Multiple times we are told this. So if your Maeve, who loves to control people and whose biggest desire/goal is to be the most powerful being in the land, you would obviously want this fae in your court. And belonging to you. 

Rowan says that Maeve did not like Lyria and his mating. Why? He does not go into that but its pretty obvious. We know again from Rowan that Maeve makes Gavriel leave his lovers, not even his mates. She obviously does not like to share, she loves to control. She wants to be the only one they are loyal too. Plus, if her end goal is to have Rowan sworn to her so she has ultimate control, she knows that will never happen while he is mated to Lyria. They live far away on this remote mountain, and she knows that while they’re together, Rowan’s loyalties will always be to Lyria first. Before this it sounds like Rowan was serving Maeve often, but then left and went to live with Lyria.

Because Rowan tells the story so coldly, it is easy to underestimate just how mad Maeve was. But think about it…she was mad enough that Rowan need a chance to “redeem himself”.Upset enough that even with Lyria begging him not to go, he still went. Rowan sees himself as being extremely selfish because of this, but really analyze it. We see how he is with Aelin (and whether they are mates or not, it hasn’t been activated), can you imagine him with a mate bond snapped into place? I argue that Maeve knew that he needed to be desperate to earn his approval, and that the battle had to be far enough away that he was fully confident that his mate was in no danger at all.

Maeve is so manipulative. Whether what Lorcan is saying in QoS is true or not, either way she completely manipulated them in a way no one saw coming. She would know that in order to have Rowan, she needed Lyria to be out of the picture. She knew that Rowan had to be desperate to prove himself, but couldn’t be suspicious of her asking him to leave. And there had to be a believable cause of her death. 

I guess it just seems too perfect for me. It doesn’t specify where Rowan and Lyria’s cabin was exactly on the mountain, but when he told the story I thought it was really strange that these men would seek her out, brutally murder her, and then burn their house? The army was suppose to be getting through to try to make it past the mountains and they just so happened to be getting through near their home. But if they’re goal was to get past…so i just find it a little suspicious that they dedicated that much time to finding this fae woman (even if they ‘happened’ to walk by their cabin), and murdering her, and then (this is the real thing i don’t understand) burning they’re entire property. Like, i would have maybe understood rape and a beating and cruel behavior. But there was absolute 0 benefit to them to just murder someone who wasn’t acting them, and instead of saving supplies from the house for themselves, they burn it all? They aren’t even suppose to know it was Rowan’s house. Plus, didn’t Rowan say he individually had to hunt down each of the men who did it? So the men were separated…if it was the army wouldn’t they have all been together? 

Like, after, Maeve waited the exact number of appropriet years before swooping in (first person he even speaks to since Lyria’s death), and he takes the blood oath. Like…come on.

Of course this could all be coincidence, and just a cruel group of men. Maybe bits and pieces are true. That is very possible. But i just saw this,

Maeve didn’t like me and Lyria, I fell out of her graces. Maeve offers me redemption far away. The men somehow go all the way back to where i came from and butcher and burn my wife, unborn child, and house. I mourn for years. The first person I see is Maeve. Maeve tells me to come back. I swear oath to Maeve.

I don’t know guys…it just seems like Maeve was in that story way more than she should have been and i am very suspcious of it….what are your thoughts?

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Oh my gosh and ANSEL IS THE NEW QUEEN OF THE WASTES SO AELIN COULD GET HER ARMY TO HELP THEM

Am I the only one who's wanting some Silent Assassin action in ToG5?

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I wonder if God had a trial and error stage, went with the horizontal bum crack and then one day called Adam to one of the trees or something and everything would be peaceful with birds chirping and then you could just hear this giant clapping noise matching each one of Adams strides as he runs towards God

If your asscrack was horizontal, it would make a clapping noise whenever you went up/down stairs.

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God bless Sam Cortland for giving us hope that the chance of that person we have had a crush on for years might actually end up liking us back