justlikemonicageller

[justlikemonicageller]

Brokedown

Something happened and it reminded me all the bad memories. I cried so hard to the point that my eyes are swelling. I SH again unfortunately, because I felt like I had to punish myself for all the inconvenience I am causing to my loved ones specially my partner. When will this suffering end?

[justlikemonicageller]

1st Workout

Today I exercised for the first time this year. Unfortunately, while I was doing jumping ropes I had leg cramps all day, kaya I wasn’t able to finish my workout. It’s also my first time for this year not to go to church :(, I’m so sorry, Lord :(.

[justlikemonicageller]

Eat > Sleep > Repeat

That’s what I did today right after I cleaned my condo. I was eating a variety of foods while watching Fresh Off the Boat. I enjoyed my day I was able to relax and I cooked after almost 2 week. My induction cooker has been repaired yesterday, yey! No more takeouts haha. Tomorrow, I’ll force myself to jog since I have been living a sedentary life since last month huhu. Thank You, Lord for today ♥️🤍.

[justlikemonicageller]

Sour Candies

I was so pressured at work today because a lot of my teammates have a high number of submittals and interviews. I try my best to source candidates but there are really days like these that sometimes you can’t get any. Because of that, I overthink everything in my life, I self pitied again, and have suicidal ideation. Good thing, bb has signal to comfort me. I went to SM to unwind a little. I ate in this new restaurant, it was my first tine there. The ambiance is cute and artsy but the food is just okay, nothing special and it’s pretty expensive for its taste. I guess what I really paid for was the ambiance. Nothing can beat the OG restaurant that I love, Mary Grace. Thank You, Lord for all the blessings ♥️🤍.

[justlikemonicageller]

Clinical Depression

Today, I was so sad and kept thinking if I really have to deal with depression every single day. It’s exhausting. No one wants to be sad all the time with no apparent reason. I just hope I’ll be able to handle this easier as the time goes by.

[justlikemonicageller]

Justified

Today, my TL acknowledged my email last night and told me she will change my score in our scorecard. I’m glad I was able to justify myself. I ate a loooot of ice cream again today. I just bought a tub of ice cream yesterday but it’s already less than half today hehehe. I also have 1 submittal today. I just hope tomorrow I’ll have 2 or more solid submittals huhu.

[justlikemonicageller]

Stress Eating

I was so excited earlier because of my annual performance review. I expected too much from myself because I know I did good when it comes to the number of hires I had last year. Unfortunately, according to my TL, since I am too reserved and shy, it badly affected my scores and pulled it down. I nearly failed the evaluation just because of my shyness. I felt like my hard work was disregarded just because of my personality. I honestly thought that technical skills were way more important compared to the personality factor especially when it comes to annual review. I understand that personality is one of factors but I just didn’t expect it would have a huge impact. I was so affected earlier that I cried and cried and cried and I ate a lot of foods specially ice cream. I was so upset and disappointed. What I did, I sent an email to my TL trying to justify myself, no matter what her response, at least I did something for myself. At least I shared how I feel which is a huge thing for me. Thank you, Lord for today for helping me to go beyond my comfort zone ♥️🤍.

[justlikemonicageller]

Bondee

My stomach hurts since yesterday, I don’t know whyy. I also woke up late and had a hard time to get up earlier because I was really sleepy and my eyes felt so heavy. I am so emotional and sensitive today, I don’t know why huhu. Anyway, today I tried something new. I downloaded a game, it’s trending nowadays, Bondee, where you could design your own room and avatar. I’ll try to sleep na even though I’m really nervous for tomorrow because of the meeting huhu. Thank You, Lord for today ♥️🤍.

[justlikemonicageller]

No Choice 🤣

I accidentally went out of my comfort zone today and had to drive outside our communities, but it’s just around our area, what made me scared and proud at the same was no one assisted me while crossing the road lol. I also attended mass today even though I was so sleepy since I wasn’t able to sleep well again, because of my furbaby as usual lol. Thank You, Lord for today ♥️🤍.

[justlikemonicageller]

Calm and Peaceful Saturday

i enjoyed my weekend today, I dinner do any heavy household chores because I already did it during weekdays. After I think less than 6 months, I started watching a new series, been rewatching the same series because of my mental health, I didn’t want any something new or unexpected. But today, I’m kinda in a good mood because I slept well somehow. I hope I am always calm like this. Thank You, Lord for today ♥️🤍.

[justlikemonicageller]

Unexpected

Tonight, I just saw a cat inside the unit of my neighbor hahahaha. He’s so fluffy!!!! I would like him to be playmates with my furbabiess but of. That can’t be possible lol. Anyway, today, I woke up early and I didn’t got back to sleep because I cleaned my condo hihi. It really feels good when everything is clean hihi.

[justlikemonicageller]

Inhala, Exhala...

I wasn't able to sleep well again last night because of my furbaby. Tonight, I broke down again because of my furbaby. I'm honestly thinking to find a new home and new furparent because I am so exhausted, taking care of them is like taking care of a new born child. They cry in the middle of the night, they pee whenever I don't cave in in what they want. They make me so happy but I feel like I'm sacrificing too much, I sacrifice my mental health, my time, my money, etc. I'm so scared to give them away as I might regret it. Please, God help me to decide, I don't know what to do.

[justlikemonicageller]

Better Late Than Never

I just got my Starbucks 2023 planner!!!! Honestly, I’ve already accepted that I’m gonna break my streak in collecting SB planner, but boy oh boy, someone in our community was selling her SB planner and right there and then I decided to buy it even though I don’t have extra money lol I know it’s bad but it really made me happy huhu and to justify I really need planner hahaha. The thing that made me decide to buy it right away was because it’s gray and gold, I didn’t know that’s the color of the planner, i just really found out last night. Gray and gold is the theme of my condo and they are my favorite colors. Thank you, Lord for today, it’s our 7th anniversary of my bb. Can’t believe we have been together for 7 years hihi.

[justlikemonicageller]

Woah, that was scaryyyy

And I didn’t like the feeling lol. Anyway, my under sink organizer rack arrive so I arranged my kitchen stuff na. I’m happy with my purchase because it really serves its purpose, although it wasn’t really cheap but for now I’ll rate it 4.5/5. Bb has no signal today and I miss him so much. I really hope he’ll be here on February as i need him huhu. I didn’t design my wall decor today coz I organized my kitchen and it took some time talaga kasi I had to assemble the rack, but it was pretty easy naman. I wanna thank the Lord today for helping me earlier. Please always guide us, Lord ♥️🤍.

[justlikemonicageller]

Huhu

Fortunately my furbaby didn't meow too much in the middle of the night. Although I still wasn't able to sleep well, I don't know but I felt like my eyes were just closed. As usual in the morning I fed them then I cooked breakfast for my sister, it was her first time to stay here to keep an eye for my furbabies, since maintenance checked our unit. Then I received my new CPU, that is so cute because it's really small just like a notebook haha. I didn't work much as well because I did a lot of things. First, I had to transfer my files to my new CPU, then when I was about to cook, suddenly my induction cooker got broken, I had to bring it back to SM Appliance so they could repair it since it's still under warranty. However, it will take 2-3 weeks before I could have it back, that means, I won't be able to cook and that means I had to buy food muna outside and that means I will be over budget since takeout foods are much more expensive compared to homemade food. I enjoyed my night for a little while because I just started creating my own wall decor hihi. I was supposed to do this last last week and last week but I got too busy and I was panicky lol. I hope I'll have a good night sleep tonight.

[justlikemonicageller]

No Sleep

I wasn’t able to sleep well because my furbaby kept meowing from 12 AM to 7 AM. I got really mad because the night before that, I didn’t sleep well too because of him. Tonight I hope I’ll be able to sleep because my mental health is really affected when I don’t have enough sleep. I attended mass today to thank God and to say sorry for all my sins. My journal today would be too short because I really need to take a rest.

[justlikemonicageller]

General Cleaning

I wasn’t really able to sleep well because my furbaby was crying in the middle of the night around 3AM and he just stopped crying at 7AM because I gave him his breakfast. I didn’t go back to sleep after feeding them because I wanted to start doing my household chores in the morning so I could finish early. I used my AWM for the first time and I panicked because when I opened the faucet the water spilled around the hose all because I forgot to turn on the AWM first hehe (stupid me lol). I literally watched my clothes in the AWM while washing because I was afraid something might happen or the water will spill again. Fortunately, it didn’t. I tried something new today, I bought strawberry milk from one of my neighbors, it was kinda pricey for its taste. I honestly didn’t like it, not the taste I was expecting. I also vacuumed the whole house even the sofa cover kaya I got really tired talaga but until now I’m not yet sleepy. I also organized me and my bb’s documents and compiled them in one expanding folder. Bb has no signal na since this morning and I really miss him. Tomorrow I’ll attend mass to thank God personally. What a productive day, thank You, Lord ♥️🤍.