kakiwrites

[kakiwrites]

A soft ody and telemarketing bc I’ve only drawn him enraged and depressed so far lol 💗

[kakiwrites]

“no one’s ever mad at me unless they tell me so” is the best assumption i’ve ever made

[kakiwrites]

Hello 👋,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Aziz, and I’m reaching out with a heartfelt plea to help my family find safety and reunite with our mother. 😞

The ongoing war in Gaza has torn my family apart. My mother and newborn sister are stranded in Egypt, while I, along with the rest of my sex family members, am trapped in the midst of the genocide in Gaza. We have not only been separated but have also lost our home and are enduring unimaginable hardships. 💔

Your support can make a difference. Whether by reading our story, donating, or sharing our campaign with others, you can help us reunite, find safety, and start anew. 🙏🕊

Thank you, from the depths of my heart, for your kindness, compassion, and solidarity during this difficult time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/58268669 🔗

hi! i hope yall are safe this holiday season. i'm not able to give much at this time but the least i could do is to get on here and share this!

[kakiwrites]

GASP

a year of silence? two years without a writing post? i should be put on a stake.

anyways i'm back to shameless plug my newest hyperfixation, Alien Stage. after a year of not writing, Luka's character gave me enough motivation to whip up this amazing masterpiece.

with that, i will see myself out once more LMAO

[kakiwrites]

i see you, and i trade all you this

[kakiwrites]

I rise from the dead to show yall this-

I honestly don't get why they're making a season 3. It genuinely does not make sense. The manga ended in season 2 and the sequel isn't long enough for another season.

The only way it would make sense is if they all get into a big natural disaster again. There's also no guarantee that any of the side characters would even be in this season. Idk. I just have a bad feeling.

[kakiwrites]

here you go feather-anon :) bonus back view for the last pic (this is a reupload)

[kakiwrites]

i know we all love teasing kaz about his feelings for inej and how he doesn‘t know how to handle them, but can we talk about inej’s feelings for kaz for a moment? because i mean -

this little moment when we first notice her crush on kaz: Inej kept her eyes averted, shuffling a stack of papers into a pile on the desk as Kaz stripped out of his vest and shirt. She wasn’t sure if she was flattered or insulted that he didn’t seem to give a second thought to her presence. […] For Saints’ sake, Inej thought as her cheeks heated. She’d lost most of her modesty during her time with the Menagerie, but really, there were limits.

inej being protective of him: Inej thought of Kaz’s pale trickster hands, the shiny rope of scar tissue that ran atop his right knuckle. Van Eck could break every finger and both of Kaz’s legs and he’d never say a word, but if his men stripped away Kaz’s gloves? […] How long until Kaz came undone? She couldn’t bear it. She was glad she didn’t know where Kuwei was. She would break before Kaz did.

this whole thought process: But what might have happened if he’d spoken that night? If he had willingly offered her some part of his heart? What if he had come to her, laid his gloves aside, drawn her to him, kissed her mouth? Would she have pulled him closer? Kissed him back?

little moments of protectiveness like this: “Kaz,” said Nina. “You may not be glad we’re alive, but we’re glad you’re alive. Come here!” “Leave him be,” murmured Inej softly.

her thoughts after the bathroom scene: She could feel the press of Kaz’s fingers against her skin, feel the bird’s-wing brush of his mouth against her neck, see his dilated eyes. Two of the deadliest people the Barrel had to offer and they could barely touch each other without both of them keeling over. But they’d tried. He’d tried. Maybe they could try again.

inej being hell-bent on revenge for anyone who hurts kaz: She couldn’t just watch him die, she wouldn’t. They had him down now, heavy boots kicking and stomping at his body. Her knives were in her hands. She’d kill them all. She’d pile the bodies to the rafters for the stadwatch to find.

and finally, this absolutely beautiful end scene at the docks - probably my favourite moment in the whole duology: Had she really thought the world didn’t change? She was a fool. The world was made of miracles, unexpected earthquakes, storms that came from nowhere and might reshape a continent. The boy beside her. The future before her. Anything was possible.

brb sobbing about kanej again

[kakiwrites]

hello chainsaw man enjoyers

[kakiwrites]

idk man, i just wanna write a fic that someone reads obsessively at 3am. a fic that someone loses sleep to finish because just one more chapter and tries to give multiple kudos. a fic that people will leave a comment on every chapter. i want to write a fic that people will recommend to others, that they think nails the characterization and relationship dynamic. i want to write someone’s comfort fic, someone’s favorite fic, or someone’s fic they read when they want to re-read something. i want to be that fic writer. i want to write that fic.

[kakiwrites]

Plagiarism isn't cool!!

HI GUYS!! SO PEOPLE THINK ITS STILL COOL TO PLAGIARIZE OTHER AUTHORS WORK 😀

not only did this person take the beginning chapter of my chishiya book, but they plagiarized an ENTIRE ONESHOT from the lovely @pockyteau so! we would really appreciate if you guys could spread the word and help us get it taken down :D thank you and have a wonderful day

[kakiwrites]

I just finished csm part 1 and they're now my otp ❤️

commute

[kakiwrites]

best underrated kanej moment and why

Had to crop out part of it, but this scene during the ice court heist:

I think this is a really pivotal scene for them, especially Inej, and we don't talk about it nearly enough. Inej has just climbed the incinerator shaft and realized she wants to leave Ketterdam and hunt slavers. She's found her purpose, but she can't quite let go of Kaz, and this scene is her realizing both that Kaz definitely does have feelings for her, as this is the first real time he acknowledges them and reaches for her, but also that those feelings aren't enough for her to let go of what she wants. This is basically the setup for the "Stay with me" "What would be the point?" conversation for both of them, with Inej realizing she has to go and Kaz starting to really acknowledge he wants her to stay (the full acknowledgment comes after he almost drowns, but this sets it up). It's a level of emotional honesty from both of them with each other that we haven't really fully gotten until now and I think it deserves more attention.

I also really love how all of this is conveyed not just in what they say, but also what they do. Kaz reaches for Inej and gently grabs her arm, tracing his fingers over her skin, but he's still wearing gloves. Inej cradles Kaz's face with her bare hand, and he makes himself stand still, but it's clearly taking a lot from him, and so after a few moments she drops her hand. He's willing to reach out, but only if he can still protect himself. She wants him to actually be vulnerable with her, but he's not ready, so she lets go.

All in all it's just a really excellent and important scene for both of their characters and their arcs and we should talk about it more.

[kakiwrites]

Dynamy

[kakiwrites]

I need to get this out here because someone said the ending was bad because all the development the characters went through is gone.

Their development is not gone.

At the end of the manga Arisu decides he's going to become a psychiatrist because of the things he learned in the borderlands. Its still there at the back of his mind. Exact same thing with Chishiya in the manga. He thinks about things he never would have if he didn't go to the borderlands. They don't get why they think these things now but they do. Because they did change as people.

The borderlands affected them physically and mentally even if they are unable to remember it.

[kakiwrites]

and people say that bakugo is just a shallow character. amazing analysis!!

Some of the responses to my last post have made me realize that maybe Bakugo's trauma isn't as well understood as some of the other characters', and, because I have free time today, I figured I might as well break it down in chronological order and work from there (warning you now: this will be long).

To begin with, there's a lot of obvious things about the Sludge villain incident that would be traumatizing for basically anyone. And as much as Bakugo tried to shove off the after-effects, we know he was scared:

But there are a lot of Bakugo-specific reasons why the Sludge villain really fucked with his confidence and sense of self-worth. For one thing, while we see Midoriya getting attacked, he's rescued by All Might almost instantly. He barely has time to realize he's suffocating before he's free. Bakugo? Not so much. It's unclear how long, exactly, the Sludge villain holds him hostage, but it's at least a few minutes. Which doesn't sound very long until you remember that Bakugo was fourteen, couldn't breathe, and, because he isn't stupid, was completely aware that multiple pro heroes were basically standing around watching him be brutalized and doing absolutely nothing to help.

The only person who did help was Deku. The only person. The only person who gave enough of a shit about Bakugo to try and save him was the person he has the most complicated relationship with: his rival, his victim, his childhood friend, the person he feels both the safest and most exposed with. The person he measures himself against constantly, and internally finds himself lacking. So not only is all of this happening, but Deku—who just hours earlier Bakugo was mocking for being weak—is the one person strong enough to try and do something, and gets front row seats to Bakugo's own weakness.

Then All Might shows up and saves Bakugo from what is, at that point, the most humiliating, terrifying thing that has ever happened to him. But of course Bakugo isn't happy about it; he never wanted to be saved by All Might, and meeting his hero for the first time the way he did? What Bakugo wanted, desperately, was to prove himself to All Might, and instead he's just another dumb kid that got saved from a villain attack by the greatest pro hero who ever lived.

Not only that, but this was in public. It was televized. Bakugo was made so famous for it, people recognized him years later on the street based solely on his face. And while theoretically that's great exposure for him, imagine if the worst, most degrading moment of your entire life was broadcast on live, national television, and constantly brought up like some funny anecdote by people who don't even know you. He was fourteen years old being physically assaulted and strangled in front of the entire country and unable to do anything about it. Not only did that damage his pride, but it really fucked with him mentally. Look at what Midoriya even says about him:

That's not even to begin talking about how much pressure he puts himself under to be the best, no exceptions. He has a full-on panic attack when he loses in Deku vs. Kacchan 1 because he ties his self-worth so completely to winning he thinks of himself and worthless without it. Look how deeply it affects him:

That's not just bruised pride, that's Bakugo dealing with every single one of his insecurities being laid bare in public again. It's gonna just keep happening, too. And sure, like with this fight, sometimes he brings it on himself, but. Holy shit, this poor kid.

Then, of course, we have the kidnapping.

Despite their misapplication of their information, the LoV actually understands Bakugo pretty well. By that I mean, they figured out what affects Bakugo the most and capitalize on it to try and win him over to their side. They attack his image as a hero. Which seems kind of lame and generic, except it really hits home. Why?

Because that's his biggest insecurity, his deep, dark shame: Bakugo doesn't think of himself as heroic.

He's an excellent fighter and strategist, he's fearless, able to work well under pressure, adaptable, quick-thinking, and extremely powerful. All incredible traits for a hero. What he doesn't have is an instinct to save others. Deku does; he'll reach his hand out to anyone, without thought, no matter the cost to his safety/happiness. But Bakugo consistently struggles with this aspect of being a true hero. He's very aware of how important it is—every time he talks about Deku looking down on him, the thing he was laughing at Bakugo for? Yeah, this is it—and how very much he lacks it. And the LoV rubs his face in the fact that not only do a bunch of villains see him as being villainous, but the public he's supposed to be well on his way to protecting do, too. Yeah Aizawa defends him, but of course that whole experience negatively affects Bakugo. Especially because of what comes after.

Deku vs. Kacchan 2 is probably the closest Horikoshi comes to stabbing the audience through the brain with a knife labeled "Bakugo's trauma".

The whole fight is just Bakugo baring his soul in the most raw, heart-wrenching way possible. Look at what he asks Deku:

None of these lines should be ignored. This is Bakugo admitting that he is terrified that every bit of praise he's ever received is meaningless in the face of reality, which has proven that he is not worthy. All Might didn't think so, otherwise why wouldn't he have picked Bakugo to be his successor? Every ounce of skill, all the effort Bakugo has poured into his dream, it all means nothing. Why? Because Deku is inherently heroic, and Bakugo is not. Bakugo knows it, Midoriya knows it (why else would he be laughing in Bakugo's face if he wasn't intimately aware of his failures?), All Might knows it—hell, the whole world knows it. And because Bakugo is his own worst critic, he's gutted that someone like him, someone unworthy, destroyed the Symbol of Peace. His hero.

Does this not look like trauma? Does this not look like a kid poorly dealing with PTSD who's lashing out and trying to punish himself? And trying to purge his emotions the only way he knows how, through fighting? Who is desperately seeking some kind of compassion and connection in Deku, because he is losing his mind and can't keep going? He's a kid who's been given basically zero support, who's been expected to deal with not only being kidnapped and psychologically tortured, but also being the direct cause of Japan's sudden criminal uprising. That is so much pressure to put on a child. Any single bit of Bakugo's experience would be traumatizing by itself, but put together? It's like a personalized hell for him.

And then we have the Moment. The my body just moved on its own moment. Bakugo is so afraid for Deku leading up to this:

And afterward? It really affects him.

He's scared for Deku. He's beating himself up for not supporting him better, for not getting over himself and taking Deku's hand. He thought his closest person was going to die in front of his eyes, and then that person ran away. Of course that traumatized Bakugo.

Now, the reason Bakugo's trauma often gets overlooked (both in canon and in the fandom space) is, in my opinion, because he doesn't express his trauma in a way that's easy to romanticize. It often comes out as anger and violence, loud and obnoxious and toxic. His trauma responses hurt other people, specifically Deku. And in a character that isn't going for poor little meow meow bloodthirsty vengeance-based criminal or abused child with terrible social skills but a heart of gold, it's hard for people to wrap their heads around the fact that Bakugo isn't really a bad kid so much as he's a kid who has had a lot of crap dumped on him and hasn't been given any tools to heal. He doesn't know how to express his feelings easily or clearly when he isn't in the middle of a fight, and he has very few coping skills to help him deal with his crippling self-loathing and inferiority complex. So when he reaches his mental limit, he—pun intended—explodes.

That isn't to say that Bakugo isn't responsible for his trauma responses, the same way every other character is. He absolutely deserves to be taken to task over them, and the narrative has done a good job of giving him one consequence after the other. But at the same time, he really is just a child who is doing his best in a fucked up situation. And while his actions definitely have hurt other people, the amount of mental torment Bakugo finds himself in on a regular basis deserves more sympathy than I think he sometimes gets.

I understand why characters like Shoto get more of the poor baby treatment, because he's the perfect victim: faultless, and his anger is almost 100% directed at the perpetrator, his father. Comparatively, Bakugo's trauma is messy and overflowing and directed at all the wrong people. But that's neither unrealistic nor even all that surprising, given what we know about him. And part of that is because his trauma isn't nearly as straight-forward, since it's so wrapped up in his own self-esteem issues that he blames himself, and then tries to refocus his hurt and anger on Deku to mitigate his own pain.

It's a big part of why I like Bakugo so much; he represents the unappealing side of trauma responses that are so common, but so often get overlooked because they're unappealing. He's a victim who doesn't act the way we want a victim to act, but rather the way they usually do, and for that I applaud Horikoshi on his realism.

[kakiwrites]

ok but how do i join the general taglist? i’ve been binge reading your works and im OBSESSED. especially with the new chishiya fic😭

you just had to leave an ask here!! I'll add you to the taglist now ❤️ thanks for the support! Have a nice day ❤️❤️

-kaki 💖