karl-marxxx

[karl-marxxx]

Massive rant below the read more, but I’m too lazy to think of proper cws. Uh I’m depressed about capitalism, that’s all I got

I live with my partner and a friend, they’re both on income support waiting for their disability applications to process. I had to stop working in the fall and it’s unlikely I’ll be working again. My unemployment payments are done in a few weeks and that halves my income leaving us at a total around $2700 a month.

We’ve got over 10k (some stupid purchases, some necessary accessibility upgrades) in credit card debt, and I’ve got my student loans being held back by repayment assistance programs.

Rent will eat nearly half of our income not including any utilities or other expenses.

Literally what do I do? Is there even a way out of this hole without losing my soul? We use food bank, but there’s only so much expired peanut butter and stale Raisin Bran a person can eat. We only buy on sale with a few exceptions, but if we cut out the more expensive “unnecessary” things like coffee, what is even the point if I can’t look forward to at least one thing each morning. I can’t remember the last time I ate a vegetable other than onions and carrots.

We’ve cancelled our media subscriptions, we’ve applied for housing subsidies. We’re losing our hair at horrifying rates due to lack of nutrition, we’ve got EDs yes, but it’s certainly not helped by having no fucking money.

Like what’s the play here? Just keep getting in more and more debt but still getting the little things that make it easier to get through the day until I can’t take it anymore and either die of stress or I turn myself into a fine red mist? Or do I buy into the lie that I can get out of this mess and if I just give up everything that gives me joy, start working full time again only to drop dead at the ripe age of 35 debt free after a decade of eating nothing but food bank peanut butter and bulk chicken strips?

Yes, before you ask, I do have depression and an anxiety disorder.