katanahatake

[katanahatake]

Always a good time to burn down yet another village!

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[katanahatake]

With moshang I think I'm equally fond of the possibilities/concepts where either Shang Qinghua is ludicrously attractive to demons in a broad sense (but doesn't realize it), or, where Shang Qinghua is just some weird little gremlin and everyone else cannot wrap their head around why THE Mobei Jun is so smug about seducing this man.

Or a combination, where no demon in their right mind would ordinarily look at Shang Qinghua and perceive a sex icon, but because such a high-ranking demon has clearly done so, they go "well there must be SOMETHING going on there" and then look closer and before they know it they're on the slippery slope to being horny about a guy who could help file their taxes or arrange to have their clan base's faulty plumbing fixed.

Basically it's all good. Demons en mass going "yeah yeah big scary dudes who punch good are a dime a fucking dozen around here, but do you know how hot someone who can skillfully use an abacus is?" vs demons going "the ice king is a respectable ruler but he has garbage taste in men, we all just smile and politely nod while he insists the weird rat guy he fixated on as a teenager is a catch" vs demons going "I really don't see the appeal -- wait he did what? he killed how many guys at once with 1 trick? he betrayed WHOMST? and lived?! and he knows how to get my door to stop making horrible squeaky noises?! okay yeah figures the king would marry him" but every option is a winner.

I'm also a big fan of both Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua being not very attractive to demons in general, but it also being really common for demons to get super weird about first crushes and fixate hard on them, so in that sense they are completely normal choices for a couple of high-level demons to marry. Like the demon populace can appreciate the emperor actually landing his hot teacher and the king successfully marrying his teenage sweetheart. It's an idealized fantasy in terms of the scenarios, even if the actual guys are just weird humans. Nearly every average demon has lifelong daydreams about successfully seducing their first crush, so regardless of who those crushes turned out to be it's still a power move for LBH and MBJ to actually succeed.

Bonus if the fact that both SQQ and SQH are peak lords from the same sect leads to a bunch of demon kids developing crushes on the other remaining, unattached peak lords, and chaos ensuing. Especially for Liu Qingge. I think it would be funny for him to gain a flock of teenage demons with crushes, whom he keeps trying to fight off, only to discover that beating them up does NOT discourage them at all (actually makes the crushes worse). Or Yue Qingyuan getting mobbed like he's a pop star any time he makes a diplomatic visit to the demon realms. Sha Hualing deciding that she's just waiting for Liu Mingyan to become a peak lord before they make things official, since That's Obviously How It's Done, or Qi Qingqi doing a head count one day and realizing she suddenly has a bunch of unfamiliar "guest" disciples who sigh at her a lot and have funny-colored eyes...

[katanahatake]

I love it in moshang fics when Mobei Jun is smugly self-satisfied about 'winning' Shang Qinghua, while everyone is just kind of ??? about it.

MBJ: I have at last seduced Qinghua with my fat tits and skillful murdering of things.

LBH: oh you were... you were doing that on purpose? you, uh, wanted his... attention?

MBJ: who wouldn't?

Simultaneously glance over to Shang Qinghua, who is literally skulking around the nearest throne, wringing his hands (he's nervous) but it looks like a stereotypical cartoon villain's gestures. It's been four days since he remembered to wash his hair. He has dark circles under his eyes. He smells of stale fear sweat and has ink splotches on his hands and the edges of his sleeves. After darting a quick look around, he reaches into his sleeve and produces some kind of food item, which is barely visible before he starts stuffing it -- rodent-like -- into his cheeks.

MBJ: *sighs wistfully*

LBH:

[katanahatake]

Moshang AU where Airplane transmigrates into a demon NPC from one of the fanservice clans he created, rather than into Shang Qinghua.

So basically, there was a point in time where a lot of PIDW chapters were just Luo Binghe running around propelled by political plots and rebellions from the demon kingdoms, and most of that actually just ended up being Luo Binghe collecting wives with cute animal ears and tails and various abilities that Airplane used all of once and then completely forgot about. They covered the usual bases of the sexy cat girls, sexy fox girls, sexy bunny girls, sexy bird girls with wings, etc, before moving into more, erm, niche animal hybrid demon territory.

Which is all a roundabout way of explaining Cute Hamster Boy Shang Qinghua in his faithful-to-canon clan of Hamster Demons, whose primary skills include cute squeaking noises and digging abilities.

In the process of making his braindead written-in-a-panic-at-3-am "world building" on this front actually function in a real version of the setting, there has got to be a way for the otherwise-unremarkable fanservice demon tribes to actually survive the incredibly hostile environment which Airplane otherwise described, though. Like yeah sure when you're writing a book you can just say in one breath that the demon realms are incredibly brutal and cutthroat, and then in the next that this tribe of bunny girls with no visible skills at self-defense has existed here for thousands of years, but if you actually tried to set that up in some kind of a simulation the bunny girls wouldn't last one year, let alone one thousand.

In that case of Airplane's hamster tribe, their digging skills are so supernaturally prodigious that they are able to construct massive underground fortifications in otherwise hostile terrain. But that still doesn't solve all of their problems, because they still need to acquire food, and for that they mostly do have to go up to the surface. Some of their weakness is mitigated by sheer numbers -- they have a lot of kids to offset the high mortality rate. However, to further increase the survival rates, the hamster demons also try and make contracts with some of the local liege lords or ruling clans whenever they expand into a new territory. In exchange for protection, they send some of their extraneous family members out as servants, to either cement alliances through marriage (that high fertility is helpful and was indeed the crux of Wife #whatever's acquisition in canon) or to work as diggers or even high-level architects.

As the like, twelfth son of the Hamster Demon chieftain, this is Airplane's fate. On the one hand he's highly positioned enough to get an education, and his plot knowledge helps a lot. On the other hand, he's not high enough in the hierarchy to be kept around, so it's either go work for some other clan or else risk his neck doing missions on the hostile and deadly surface. Neither seems great, but Airplane would rather try his luck as a sycophant than a warrior.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on his mood when he thinks about it) when Airplane reaches sixteen years of age, it's around the same time that the Hamster clan's tunnels have expanded towards the Northern Desert. Airplane ends up being part of the "hiii~ pleasedon'tkillus let's be friends~" tribute to Mobei Jun's father.

Mobei Jun's father tosses him to Mobei Jun, so Airplane dutifully latches onto him in order to avoid being eaten by any of the other retainers. Airplane has been educated in various subterranean building skills and is under the impression that he's been given to MBJ in order to build him his own palace or something?

Everyone else assumes that the Hamster demon is a concubine.

Mobei Jun also thinks that's what he's been given, but he's too busy bristling in teenage offense at being given a concubine by his father to actually consider taking Airplane to bed. So when Airplane starts doing other things for him, he just sort of bemusedly lets it happen.

Gradually it becomes apparent that Airplane himself isn't interested in being a concubine. No. Clearly, this Hamster is gunning for future empress of the Northern Desert! How else would one explain all the lengths he's going to not only to win Mobei Jun's favor, but to secure his position and ensure his future rule? The system also wants Airplane to ensure the Abyss plot arc happens in the future, too, which means Airplane helps Mobei Jun win and instigate conflicts against the righteous cultivation sects too.

Obviously, Airplane wants power. Mobei Jun knows that if he gets an heir off of Airplane that will be that, the wily minx will use any children to secure his position, and MBJ is not convinced he could control himself well enough to prevent that sort of eventually. Airplane is fiendishly attractive, and he clearly knows it, and Mobei Jun is not sure if he wants to accept what increasingly seems to be the inevitable. He won't be a ladder for someone else's ambitions! But... as long as Airplane remains loyal to him, he will consider it. Even if Airplane never harbors any true affection for him, and simply considers him a means to an end. If, by the time he ascends the Hamster has not betrayed him or tried to elevate himself by flipping over this uncle's side, or seduced any of his other relatives or any of the highly-placed lords all salivating to steal MBJ's would-be empress, then Mobei Jun will grant his wish and make him the second most powerful demon in the North.

Airplane, meanwhile, just wants a snack and a nap. Maybe if he builds a secure enough fortress and amasses enough of an intelligence network and hoards a few advantages for himself, and figures out how to stop pissing off MBJ, he'll survive long enough to retire. Somehow.

[katanahatake]

[katanahatake]

These circles are stationary

[katanahatake]

[katanahatake]

[katanahatake]

Shen twins au where the transmigration goes badly and instead of inhabiting Shen Qingqiu's body, Shen Yuan ends up in an identical body instead, and Shen Jiu just decides they're twins now - no discussion necessary.

They both have a system (SY is tasked with saving SJ, & SJ is tasked with character development, or something like that).

They both decide to troll the peaks by seeing how long it takes for anyone to notice there are two of them. Eventually it's found out and they further mess with everyone by claiming it's literally always been this way. (When asked, Yue Qingyuan confirms this with a straight face and then goes to the peak to get the true story.)

But, now that everyone knows they are twins, people begin to notice the differences and decide they like Shen Yuan better. He's so nice and Shen Jiu is such an asshole.

Except, someone makes the mistake of insulting Shen Jiu to Shen Yuan's face - and SY, born a hater died a hater, instantly unleashes the most caustic pissy vitriol, naming every character flaw and buried skeleton in their closet, and just absolutely destroys their reputation and self esteem in a rant that leaves everyone's ears ringing.

And people decide maybe they like Shen Jiu a little better. At least with him you know what you're getting. He might be an asshole but he's a straight forward asshole. Shen Yuan might be nice, but he's gathering your dark secrets and judging your character behind that sweet smile.

[katanahatake]

[katanahatake]

Uh oh here come the Shen Twins!

POV you are… literally anyone approaching these two tbh.

[katanahatake]

[katanahatake]

i beat myself up for not knowing enough about my special interests a lot but then i remember the average person off the street has no idea what the carboniferous is and i feel better

[katanahatake]

Shang Qinghua: So you see Sect Leader, I'm getting married... to a demon...

Yue Qingyuan: Great... First Xiao-Jiu, and now you. Is there anyone else in this sect getting married to a demon! Should I check up on Liu Qingge to make sure he isn't currently being whisked away by a demon!

Sha Hualing, carrying Liu Mingyan over her shoulder: WRONG LIU! HAHAHAHHA

Liu Mingyan, reading a book: I'll be back later, tell my brother not to worry

Yue Qingyuan: ...

Shang Qinghua: I'm going to go

Yue Qingyuan: Yes, you should

[katanahatake]

Sister and I are watching Lucifer, and I don't understand why she even suggested that, but she said Lucifer's behavior is very Binggecoded...

...

Emperor Luo Binghe, fed up with his xianxia world full of monsters and chaos and not finding his kind Shizun anywhere, says fuck it and moves to the modern world where he forges an empire in all-night parties?

It's a world away for neet Shen Yuan who has only drunk soju once in his life, leaving him red-faced and faint. But not so far off for her extroverted Meimei that one day she meets this guy identical to the posters of her closeted gay brother and she's just like: "Hey, mister bar owner who looks exactly like Luo Binghe and calls himself Luo Binghe oh wow how much commitment, I have a brother what, haha, you wouldn't believe it, but he's such a FAN of a this character identical to you, would you like to go on a date with him?"

Shen Yuan goes on a blind date and meets an eccentric bar owner who looks and talks just like Luo Binghe. Oh well. Shen Yuan can have an interesting conversation with him by talking (and scaring him away) about the novel's Luo Binghe, his potential, the plots, the monsters, the injustice and... why does this guy seem so interested? Shen Yuan is showing off his best material to scare people! Don't look more interested, you weirdo!!!

[katanahatake]

I just think Shang Qinghua should get so angry one time that he unconsciously overrides the System and unlocks Admin privileges and just deletes entire clans out of existance in the blink of an eye while going "writing you in was a mistake".

And I also think everyone who saw that refuses to ever talk about it, but they're all scared shitless of the tiny human by Mobei-jun's side now because they realize he's not just really smart and an amazing strategist, he's also a god and can kill them all in 0.5 seconds. And now they all think that Shang Qinghua is actually the one running the show and Mobei-jun is just, like, the face of the Northern kingdom only.

Shang Qinghua is utterly horrified when he snaps out of it and realizes what he's done (somehow??? He doesn't know wtf just happened) and how now everyone is terrified of him except for Mobei-jun who is just looking at him with heart in his eyes lmao

[katanahatake]

Yue Qingyuan keeps everything Shen Qingqiu leaves behind. At this point, he could probably reconstruct Shen Qingqiu from the amount of lost items he’s hoarded.