keithwinters

[keithwinters]

— June Gehringer, ‘I get so jealous of euthanized dogs’ (via lunamonchtuna)

[keithwinters]

Audre Lorde, from The Black Unicorn: Poems; “Journeystones I-XI”

[Text ID: “my heart grows / confused / between your need for love / and your need for destruction.”]

[keithwinters]

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[keithwinters]

Funeral Rites, Jean Genet

[keithwinters]

sitting like this and kicking my feet thinking about Landfall as always!!

outside of the beauty that is Meat Mountain, I'm now stuck on the run up to it. we had a really nice beach day! we played a game with our besties! Alun cooked us griddle cakes with lil chocolate bits!! we all said we loved each other!!!

that trip is basically everything Keith could want. like, that's it. and he *was* happy! mostly! you really have to latch on to these good times and feelings when you can when you live like they do. there's still so much wrong, but this was all really nice.

and then for Alun to proposition him on the drive over *should* also be really nice. and it kinda is.

...but things have been weird, to put it lightly. *this* is weird, considering what's been going on and how much of a wreck he's been and where they're going. but like. do you say no? Keith is still so on edge about where the two of them stand, and how *he's* the one who's pushed this relationship maybe a little freakishly fast. is this for his sake? is it for Alun's? as undesirable as he feels most of the time, he couldn't bear to put Alun in that position. and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't desperate for the attention, even like this.

I think he settles on "knowing" this is more of a ritual than anything else. makes peace with that. it's ok, he tells himself. it's not forever. it's nothing new. the thought isn't even really all that concerning to him, especially now, getting ready to leave.

at least this way, he can be of service.

this way, even if it's not how he'd truly like, they can be close.

[keithwinters]

[keithwinters]

Ocean Vuong, The Emperor of Gladness

[keithwinters]

Life gets better never give up hope

[keithwinters]

I don’t want to love you for the rest of my life I want your skin to fall off my skin I want my clamp to release your clamp

Leonard Cohen, from Book of Longing

[keithwinters]

Warsan Shire, from “Backwards”, Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head

[keithwinters]

Jami Nakamura Lin, The Night Parade

[keithwinters]

Jenny George, "Tin Bucket"

[keithwinters]

I learned love for a price beyond my imagination

I learned love and after all that happened I was still crying with the will to live

if all the memories in my last flashback are filled with you I won't have anything to regret

[keithwinters]

Kim Addonizio, from Lucifer at the Starlite: Poems; “You with the crack running through you”

[Text ID: “I wanted to put / my mouth on you / and draw out whatever toxin… / —but I understand. There are limits to love.”]

[keithwinters]

yeah sorry they gave me an open wound instead of a heart that's why im like this

[keithwinters]

Hieu Minh Nguyen, from “Notes on Staying”