kennedy-exterminators

[kennedy-exterminators]

There's something very charming about when beetles open up their wing covers in this big dramatic display just to fly less than ten centimetres.

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Hi! I have every disease! Do you want one?

How about you follow me to this special room

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What was your favourite case to take on?

Favourite is a bit of a stretch, maybe least terrible?

Probably the one where we had to check out a beekeeper's lab around oxford that'd been overrun by larvae. It looked horribly familiar, but it was beetles that time and not wasps. regardless, they were little creamy-white wriggly things with brown heads. Easy enough to sweep up, and it had all come from poor storage rather than nests we'd need to clear. Ee even got some fresh honey out of it- the nice kind. I think there was a lavender field a short ways away so it wasn't enough for the stuff to be marketed as specialty honey, there are some pretty specific rules around that sorta thing, but it still tasted quite nice.

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Sir Jordan Kennedy can I just say you're really pretty and I like your voice? you should totally talk about more experiences in your exterminator pest control line of work......... I find it particularly interesting....

That's... huh. I don't think I've heard any of that before. The 'sir' or the voice bit. Thanks? I hope that isn't a thinly veiled warning that you're one of those things that want to steal it from me.

I could probably talk more about the job, but there are a surprising number of 'NDA's. Usually for posh socialite types who don't want their book clubs knowing they had termites.

It makes sense i s'pose- theres a psychological effect some people get after having their homes infested- hate to say it but it seems a bit like karma at times, humans being the way they are. If you asked a badger he'd probably say we're the pests for digging out his den to make a post office or sommat.

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im still not over Jordan Kennedy.

the exterminator that crawled through endless tunnels smothered in ants forced to become one with them. when exactly did Jordan become part of the colony, truly? was it when he was metamorphosed, when Jon took him and made him something else, or was it when he could not tell where his limbs ended and the rolling tide of insects began? was it when he first arrived at Amherst’s house and followed, of his own conscious volition, the ants inside? there is so little we truly know about Jordan besides what he becomes. 

he asks Jon, “am i still me?” and there is no answer to that. is Jordan still Jordan? is the butterfly still the caterpillar? is the ship of theseus still the same ship if it has been remade? do we, the audience, even know Jordan? what do we know about him beyond the fact he was an exterminator, knew more than the average person about the supernatural, and was kind enough to give Jon peace of mind but not kind enough to resist being an avatar when given the option of going back to innocence. 

as Jordan speaks you can hear an agitated buzzing of what can only be insect wings–he is now the queen ant he has been desperately searching for, the sole being that controls and colony and feeds off the fear they cause. Jordan is remade into the very thing he feared with every part of his soul. he feels sick and wrong and unfathomably different, but he still cannot deny how good it feels to no longer be the scared one. 

when given the choice to go back to being an innocent victim, he vehemently says no. he was in hell and he still is, but no longer the one being tortured. Jon equally saves him and damns him. how could he go back? how could he willingly choose to be relentlessly tortured, drowning in his own fear and so, so, many ants? to think that there are some people who would choose to not be an avatar makes Jordan all the more interesting. he didn’t ask for this, he does not want to be an avatar in any way, but in the end he still cannot fathom being anything else. anything is better than the ants, even if it means inflicting that fear onto countless others. it’s a completely unfair choice but he makes it all the same. 

Jordan did not want this, but like Jon and the Eye, he chooses it. 

and Jon’s decision here, to make someone into something new completely against their will. time and time again, we see the Eye manifesting as a betrayal of consent. Elias makes Jon into the Archivist against his knowledge and will, Jon cuts the bullet out of Melanie while she’s asleep, Jon and Elias seeing the secrets and pasts of others, and finally Jon turning Jordan into an avatar. the true horror of the Watcher is this betrayal and breach of consent. being perceived and watched is fine if you agree to it, if you share a secret willingly and gladly, and even the most horrific knowledge is best processed when prepared for it. but the Eye does not ask–Jon does not ask. he takes Jordan and remakes him and calls it mercy. not only has Jordan been utterly remade, forced to feed off the very fear he once experienced, it was never a choice he had any real say in. not when it mattered. 

i can’t help but wonder if Jon’s words were true. when Jordan says he doesn’t know how to scare people, Jon says, “you’ll learn,” which holds an almost uncanny resemblance to how Elias answered his own questions. Jon learned how to scare people and most of all, he learned to like it. Jon, like Jordan, didn’t want to be an avatar but he did choose it, in the end.

i can’t help but wonder if over time, Jordan accepted that he was a part of the colony. when the world was reset, i wonder if he missed the ants even as he hated himself for it? did they make him feel loved like how the wasps loved Jane? could he hear their singing? did he finally understand Jane, the being that had haunted his nightmares? did he ever feel whole again, without the trillions upon trillions of ants crawling through his tunnel-like veins? did he have to learn to walk without the weight of wings? 

when the world was set right, what happened to Jordan? did he go back to being the same Jordan before the tunnels, before becoming the leader of the colony, or was he a piece of something that was once whole and never can be again? 

Jon tells Jordan “i helped you,” but did he really? he saved him from his torment but brought upon him one that, all things considered, might be even worse.

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Guy who transforms into a swarm of locusts when shaken vigorously: hey can you turn the music down it's resonating kind of hard and shaking the ground and I don't want to endanger anyone

DJ Loudmusic: SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THESE SICK JAMS! HERE'S MY NEXT SONG, "EPIC JUNGLE BEAT THAT GIVES LOCUSTS THE DESIRE TO KILL HUMAN BEINGS"

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Oh, good. so its not just me- but nah mate, this is Jordan

alright, why the hell do you seem so familiar? its... really weird

- @kennedy-exterminators

gunpowder, is that you?

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oh yeah, it's allllllll coming together now......

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just asked my professor if he wants to feature on a song LMFAO

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today's bug thing is this beetle cardigan by dr.beetle on instagram!

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tma - fears but they're desserts

saw a post about jane prentiss but instead she has gummy worms and wanted to expand upon that

the buried - almost inedibly rich chocolate cake. you're struggling through your slice. your vocal cords feel as if they've become clogged with mucus, sponge drying the inside of your throat. you can't swallow. you can't breathe.

the corruption - gummy worms as aforementioned. everything is covered in a mixture of citric acid and sugar. you thought you could keep it contained to the bag but the gritty substance has somehow scattered all over you and your carpet. the ants are coming.

the dark - what is in this mousse. there's bits in it, oddly chunky bits that feel somewhat overcooked yet slimy in texture. you eat out of politeness, fearing what the next bite will hold.

the desolation - you didn't spread the meringue thick enough on your baked alaska, and now the ice cream's melted and the cake's burnt and the carpet is on fire. nice job.

the end - there's too much molasses in these cookies. it's the wrong molasses too, it tastes faintly of black olives. they're charred and sickly, but you feel bad for the little old lady offering them so you take one anyway.

the eye - this is- wait- how the fuck are you meant to eat this? did it necessarily have to be plated on a miniature clothesline? it takes up half the table and holds exactly four tiny cakes pegged to the thing. it has a stupid name like 'big daddy's chocolate surprise' that you had to say out loud in front of your date.

the flesh - i'm sorry there's WHAT in this chocolate pudding? sure, you can put it in savoury dishes and cook it, but in chocolate pudding?

the hunt - it's easter you little shits go find your damn eggs

the lonely - freezer burned name brand ice cream straight out of the tub. you're eating it with corn chips. best served while crying about how no one will ever love you.

the slaughter - ow. ow. owwww. don't fuck with sugar glass unless you're prepared to fuck with sugar glass. tanghulu looks easy on youtube, but the sugar has to be heated to 150 celcius. also, it's possible to cut your mouth on the shards. just an overall painful treat.

the spiral - you are surrounded with trays and trays of failed macarons. when they develop feet, they crack. some are sunken in the middle. some became stuck to the sheet. your eyes are teary. your hands are aching. your ears are still filled with the whirr of an upright mixer, and you can only smell sugar, egg and the smoke from when the mixer overheated. you will die cursing the french.

the stranger - there's something about your mum's pineapple tarts that you just can't get right. no matter what you do, they'll never taste like hers.

the vast - improbably large sundae. you didn't think it would be this big when you ordered it. even sharing with your friends you can only get about halfway through. it terrifies you in its enormity.

the web - you can't stop eating this tiramisu. you made it for some reason, maybe to ration over a while, maybe for a party, but that doesn't matter now. it's somehow so light and airy despite being mostly cream, and you'll be having just one more bite for a while to come.

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imagine a girl called cass but it's not short for cassandra or smth it's short for cassette

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NASCAR HALL OF FAME

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Source details and larger version.

Some dancing, some in the pants, some giant: vintage ants.

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someone just tagged my post about sea snails with #fish and #bugs. nooooooo

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Statement of Dolly Parton regarding…”Jolene”