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Thank god finally

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you want your city to be walkable and bikeable? what's next? suckable? fuckable?

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"This character is intersex because they're a shapeshifter" gives the same vibe as "this character is asexual because they're a robot"

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Favorite adderall review

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I’d love to see a version of Julius Caesar where he takes the beware the Ides of March warning seriously like “oh shit. good heads up man thanks” and he goes into it with his own knife. He calms down a bit when he see’s all his best friends like “yea, the squad is here and everyone is strapped. nice”

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New bumper sticker with an appropriate forewarning.

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Four year old beekeeper distracted by a roly-poly.

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was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

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first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

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in honor of the Lilo & Stitch remake being a huge piece of shit here's a comic about what the original meant to me as an 8 year old

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every year I post this meme and every year people get more mad at me than they did the previous year

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I have twin boy cats. One of the easiest ways to tell them apart is by how photogenic they are.

Ace:

And then Sabo:

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"Tumblr is my bedroom" this "tumblr is a pinboard" that

Tumblr is an apartment complex with thin walls and every so often you just have to listen to your neighbors say the most deranged shit imaginable

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So we’re all afraid to Dm our moots

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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.