kimduckja

[kimduckja]

i think we all saw this coming by now. im going to stop writing for tokrev. i still do like it and want to see how it ends but i just have no motivation to write for it anymore. not for sfw or nsfw. i honestly cant write much of anything these days so i thought itd be better if i focused on school. i probably wont be coming back to tumblr as well. this account will still be here but it wont be active anymore. archived acc is what its called, i believe? but yeah

thank you to everyone whos been with me through the past few months. @softbajis and @virtue-and-beneviolence and @rottingreveries thank you for being my friends and interacting with me on this hellsite. it was fun, for as long as it lasted. we can still talk on other platforms, but my tumblr will be dead. but like yeah. thank you for proofereqding my stuff, for letting me bounce ideas off of you guys, and just letting me feel a little less lonely <33

[kimduckja]

the thought of ran keeping you under his desk, of course on your knees because he thinks the sight’s pretty, mouth lodged to his dick. he’s answering calls from rindou regarding the shipping of contraband. nothing new that you haven’t heard already. but the collar around your neck is a little tight when you try to pull away, and you can’t really pull away too far.

the farthest you get is the tip of his dick, the most room he’ll you breathe - because the leash to your collar is attached to his belt loops. besides there’s a big hand starting to push your head down already, so even if you didn’t have the leash, you don’t think he’d let you pull back anyway.

[kimduckja]

he said no

[kimduckja]

guys this is like the most random idea ive had i have no justification for this but im still gonna share it with you anyways bc fuck it @softbajis @rottingreveries @virtue-and-beneviolence @sleepy3

thinking of the haitanis (as per usual) but this time its a fantasy au where rin and ran are magicians but like a little bit of a twist

ran was young when he first awakened his magic. it was when he and rin first ran away from home, when he was 11 and rin was 10. they had been cornered by a group of thugs who wanted to hold them for ransom knowing theyre the kids of the duke. but ran never wants them to go back there so he ends up freezing all of the thugs and the buildings near them

rin awakened his a little later, when he was 13 and ran was 14. ran was sick and needed medicine, so he went out to steal some. but he got caught so he ended up having to fight for his life to get away from the guards but still keep the medicine intact. that day, the rest of the soldiers found two of their companions burnt to a crisp near the river, the edge of the forest blazing and making steam rise from the riverbank

and they went around like that all their life, fighting and developing their magic. then details details they end uo getting caught in the middle of a war and now rin is dying. theyre in the middle of a battlefield and rin is unconscious and he wont wake up and now ran is panicking so he does the only thing he can think of at the moment. he freezes everything

the entire battlefield, everyone turned into statues of ice. everythung was frozen in time, everything being so cold it started to snow. whatever plant life was left was immortalized forever. over time, the ice statues started to corrode, and eventually, the frozen ground became littered with shards of ice. then the frozen ground started to thaw and the battlefield was brought to life once more, grass and flowers slowly sprouting from the dirt

but even as a decade passed by, the two ice statues in the middle of the once warzone stayed the same. a taller man holding an injured man in his arms, grip so tight that even with the ice encasing them, its obvious how desperate he was

soon the grass field turned into a grove. then suddenly a decade turned into a century and that became two centuries, and now a forest has encased the two ice statues hidden within. a small town is on the outskirts of the forest, and this is where you come in

youve always loved going into the forest, as did the other kids. as time went by, you watched their interest wane, until they eventually focused on other matters. but the forest has always been your comfort, so you keep coming back to it, even as you grow older

when you turn 17, you venture so far within that you walk into a clearing where no trees grow and where the sun shines and makes the ice there sparkle like diamonds. you dont know how long theyve been there. you know that its the work of magic, because the vines coil around the frozen ground as if they arent allowed to enter. even though time hasnt corroded the statues, you figure that theyve been here a long, long time

over time, you keep coming back to the clearing. you try putting flowers on the frozen ground in an attempt to commemorate them. the cold bites at your fingertips, so much so that you barely managed to let go of the flower before retracting your hand. the moment it touched the ground, it froze over. so you keeo bringing them flowers, the frozen ground assimilating them into itself

youre 21, and youve just heard that youre about to be wed. you came here in your anger of being forced into a marriage you dont want, as the forest has been your comfort since you were little. you spend hours in the clearing, wiping away your angry tears and steadying your heart. and then you hear a crack. at first you thought you were mistaken but then it happens again, louder this time

you look over and see that the statue of the shorter man has formed cracks. no, even more than that, you can see that starting from where his heart is, the ice is melting. the water drips down on the frozen ground and melts away the ice, and soon enough, the cracks spread to the taller man

and it takes a while but you stood there mesmerized as you watched the frost go away, the two statues turning into men that are very much alive and breathing. the shorter one’s shirt is torn jaggedly on his stomach, but the skin underneath is unharmed. aside from the sliver of ink you can see, nothing is amiss

both of them collapse on the ground, and it takes a while before one of them shifts. for the first time in two centuries, ran moves his limbs, raising his head, and opening his eyes to look at you.

i dont know where else im gonna go with this but by god i just thought this idea was so fun and i thiught it up as a fever dream im p sure bit like yeah have it lol

[kimduckja]

NO WAY MY WIFI IS BAD RN TOO! HRU 🥺

I SEE THAT BOTH OUR WIFIS SUCK!!! IM DOING OKAYISH some pressure from school since im competing in like five different things but I CAN HANDLE IT HBU DEAR SLEEPY

[kimduckja]

KA ILY HRU

HI ILYT /p OUR WIFI IS DOING A FUCKY WUCKY SO I ONLY SAW THIS NOW UEUEUEUE HI SLEEPY

[kimduckja]

awah school is kicking my ass so i only got on now hi everyone lol

[kimduckja]

guys guys @virtue-and-beneviolence @softbajis @rottingreveries

mermaid haitans. bro just hear me out its like that trope where person a is injured so person b takes them in. but this time reader found ran injured on the shore with rin trying his best to stop the bleeding

and at first rin fucking SCRATCHES YOU bc ofc his brother is on the brink of death and hes scared and theres a stranger, a human of all things in front of him. however he does realize he has no choice and ends up letting you help ran

and the next few days are spent with you going back and forth from your house to the cave on the beach where theyre hiding until ran gets better. you bring them food and take care of ran’s wounds (which you find out is from a harpoon). the first time ran wakes up, he sees you and almost does the same thing rin did but rin ended up stopping him (besides hes still weak)

they speak in a language you dont know how to decipher. its harsh but somehow melodious, with some of the harsher sounds being clicking at the back of their throats. and its oddly endearing bc they remind you of dolphins

and slowly as you keep coming back to help ran, you start bringing things to entertain them. you start teaching them about humans and about what we do, and you even get them to say a few words. ran asked for your name and he spent the next two days testing it out while rin just silently watched

i honestly dont know where else this is leading but i just think mer!haitanis are cute and that we should teach them about cats and other land animals

[kimduckja]

KA BABES HRU MWAH

AGAGBGBNT HELLO SLEEPY IVE BEEN DECENT HBU

[kimduckja]

Rindou kisser? That's new !!

it may be new but it is correct.

[kimduckja]

pov youre looking through themes youll never use bc youll be deleting your tumblr permanently anyways at some point but like still 😭😭😭

[kimduckja]

strawberry cake by wordbite

a responsive tumblr about page. features easily customizable sizes and colours. instructions on how to use are throughout the code but please let me know if you need help with anything!

preview / code

[kimduckja]

12:39AM | HAITANI RINDOU

Rindou has been waiting on the sofa for you for the past hour. Yes it’s late, yes he tends to worry, yes he refuses to call you and nag while you’re with your friends. Instead, in the space of the last four hours, he’s flicked on the TV set, flicked through the channels half-heartedly, picked up his phone every two minutes only to throw it back against the cushions and sigh, leaning back on the plush throws, his hair falling to the side in wisps as he stares at the bulb hanging from the ceiling and then at the clock as the hands tick closer to 12am.

He’s torn between wanting to hear the lilt of your voice, to hear you grumble about the cold or the deafening clamour of bodies jumping in time to the crash of music, and wanting to leave you to enjoy this precious and hard earned time with your friends, time he knows you’ve fought tooth and nail to have. 

At every opportunity to call and every time his finger has hovered over your contact, his mind is pervaded by the lingering memory of your tired eyes sagging with sleeplessness, hunched over your overheating laptop and he locks his phone again, throwing it and himself against the cushions. Ran had called once during the time you’ve been gone and Rindou had only partially listened, keeping his ear trained on the door for the jangling of keys, your tinkling laugh, the click of your heels on the concrete pavement. 

“Yeah and then I had to do all the shit he left behind.’ Rindou heard shuffling down the receiver as Ran slid into his car and slammed the door.

Rindou only hummed, and fished around in the cabinet drawer for the painkillers you were sure to need, throwing a water bottle into the fridge in the meantime.

“Are you even listening?” Ran said and Rindou had grimaced when he heard the exacerbation in his Brother’s voice, the tiredness and irritation.

“I am!” 

Rindou sees your silhouette first, the dark and shadowy shape of your body fumbling with keys through the frosted glass of the front door and his chest does a flip almost immediately. He watches you stumble in on shaky legs, turning back to wave off your friends with a grin as your handbag slips down your arm. He can already feel the jolting thrum of energy bouncing off you. That’s how you are. Boundless. 

You turn towards the hallway and brace a hand against the wall for support as you try and fail to unbuckle your heels. There is a smile on your lips that Rindou doesn’t have to see to know is there. It's in the way you spring into the house, the looseness of your shoulders that tells him you’ve had a good night. 

Rindou allows himself a soft and hesitant smile, watching you frown and pout at the fastening and the way it sticks and refuses to budge. It is the small moments like this, when you assume he can’t see you, where he gets to witness you as you are, and they almost make the danger of this relationship worth it. Smiling, soft around the edges, the frail and fragile tendrils of your happiness leaking from your unguarded laughs and giggles. His heart swells in his chest. You grope around for the light switch and Rindou takes that as his cue to swoop in.

‘Let me Princess.’ His shoulders brush the walls as he bends to lift you and scoop you into his arms. In truth, the bedroom is ten paces away, and you could very easily stumble your way there but he won’t allow it. Instead, he’ll hold you and let the corner of the table in the hallway brush the back of his legs so you don’t stumble, tucking you against him so the glare of the TV doesn’t hurt your eyes. Rindou knows he's being excessive, meticulous, routined even, that he overthinks every decision he makes when it comes to you. But it’s the routine with which he shows he loves you. The extra care he takes when he slides his arms under your knees and presses you ever so gently against his chest, the ends of his hair brushing your cheek as you sag against his warmth. 

It’s not as if it’s unusual. Rindou is meticulous about you in all aspects. It’s in the way he walks on the side of the cars when you’re out together, the way he covers the corners of the table as you brush by, the way the coffee is always hot and ready when you wake. 

It’s meticulous and it’s extreme and it’s him. And if being extreme with his efforts shows you the vastness of his love for you, then you were happy to receive it. 

‘Rin!’ Your voice, usually vibrant and buzzing with energy, is quiet, a breathy whisper in the otherwise silent apartment. The only other sound is the drone of the TV in the adjacent room, left running on some channel that Rindou has hardly paid attention to. The glow of the TV set illuminates the dark hallway and bathes the two of you in soft blue light as Rin tentatively pads towards your bedroom.

‘Did you have a good time?’ He says and nudges the bedroom door open with his hip. Your hair is soft against his neck, lips brushing the skin of his collarbones every so often and Rin feels his heart thud painfully in his chest, his blood ringing in his ears. He shudders when your hot breath kisses the dip in the middle of his throat, his tattoo bobbing up and down as he swallows.

‘Mmh,’ you hum and sigh contentedly, your eyes fluttering with the weight of fatigue settling on you. Your limbs are sluggish by now, arms dropping from where they’d clutched tightly to his shirt, the fabric bunched up in your fists. The thin cotton of your skirt did nothing to protect you from the early spring chill and you shiver against him, slotting yourself against the crook of his neck. He’s warm, and you find yourself rubbing your bare arms against his abdomen just to share in it.

‘Let’s get you to sleep then yeah?’ Rindou’s voice is husky, rough, and you can tell from the scratchiness of it, that he’s had a few cigarettes in the time you’ve been gone, that it’s laced with the sluggishness of sleep that he’s fought off for your sake, washing his face and rubbing his tired eyes as he waited up for you. You catch a faint whiff of nicotine and menthol, minty toothpaste and shower gel when he tucks you against his chest.

You look up at him through your daze, the world a little too sharp and fast, the burnt copper glow of the streetlights just beyond your bedroom window leaking into the room, and yet, you feel safe. He feels safe. Nothing is strange, nothing is dangerous. There is only you and him and the drunken stupor that makes your heart swell when you look up at him, the lilac flash of his eyes, narrowed into slits and the crease of his brow as he concentrates on holding you tight. 

‘Hey Rin?’ You say as he stands you up, holding you by your shoulders in front of your bed. He tugs gently on the hem of your shirt, and his eyes are imploring, seeking, asking for permission. You nod your assent, holding your arms up as he pulls your shirt above your head. He’s gentle about it of course, and his touch on the bare skin of your arms is so feather light that the hair on the nape of your neck stands on end.

‘Hm? Something wrong?’ He folds your shirt and places it carefully on the chair, fishing around in your wardrobe for a clean pajama shirt before slipping your arms and your head through the holes. 

‘No…’ You say and your eyes flick to the cheap plastic chandelier in the middle of your ceiling. The cobwebs are numerous, and the cracks stretch from the centre down to the corners, snaking across the alabaster white of the ceiling. Your house, filled to the brim with memories. It's not fancy, not luxurious like you'd expect it to be considering who he is, but it's yours. It's the first house you ever bought together. 

Rindou pulls your hair out from the back of the shirt and ties it haphazardly with the hair tie he keeps around his wrist. He’s prepared, of course he is. He knows you, knows your heart. The weight of the years between you has always sat heavy on his shoulders. Every kiss is thick with memory. Maybe that’s all it was, the weight of time and memory, the masses of grief and happiness you had both shared together, that taught him everything he knew about you. 

‘Something else then Princess?’ He tugs on the zipper of your skirt and it falls to the floor in a pool of silk. The draught from the open door makes you shiver. Or maybe it’s that here you are, in your vulnerability, and he his, and the moonlight is the only witness to it. 

‘I love you…’ you say and your eyes, fighting to stay open, are genuine and honest, and brimming with unshed tears. He almost doesn’t catch the breathy whisper, the softness of it rolling off your tongue. He stops,hands halting as he bends to pick up your skirt.

His cheeks are aflame almost immediately and god he hopes the darkness hides him enough for you to mistake the pink tint for something else. 

He wants to say it, wants to tell you he loves you too, wants to tell you you’re the most genuine thing that’s ever happened to him. But the words are thick in his throat, sitting on the tip of a tongue that feels too heavy for his mouth. 

He doesn’t return it and you’re not mad nor angry. This is how he is, how he’s always been. These things are hard for him. So you smile, and the corners of your lips turn up and Rindou feels his heart settle in his chest at the unspoken understanding. 

He brushes his lips against yours briefly, soft and supple and pliant and the jolt of electricity thrumming under his skin runs along his veins. His heartbeat is so loud you must be able to hear it in the otherwise quiet room, he thinks.

‘I love you so much, you know that?’ Your lip wobbles and Rindou’s heart beats its wings inside him. ‘You’re my moon and stars.’

You don’t mean for it to sound so breathy, for your lip to tremble and your eyes to brim with tears despite the smile on your face. Maybe it’s the drink talking, the world tipping sideways, or maybe it’s just the feeling of his warmth so close to you but the lump in your throat settles like a stone when you swallow thickly.

‘You’re…’ Your tongue is slack in your mouth and Rindou’s face burns with the intensity of your gaze. From here, the orange gleam of the streetlight splicing through the parted curtain illuminates a patch of skin, the light coming in shafts across his lips, his nose, the dip in his chin.

‘You’re the moon in my sky, and whenever I’m lost, I just follow your light to lead me home.’ The soft tendrils of your love, the immeasurable tenderness leaks into your voice and Rindou’s chest squeezes itself painfully. You want to blame it on the alcohol, on the bitter coldness of the night that has your limbs sluggish and slow, but you know in your heart that isn’t true, that it’s desire forcing these words out. 

‘You’ll take me there one day right? To the stars?’ You cup his face as a shaft of white moonlight spills across the carpet. From here, the moon is pure white, looks close enough to reach out and touch. Perhaps you could, one day, the two of you, just reach out and brush your fingers against the limits of the sky, go where no one else had.

Rindou isn’t quite sure what to say, but he looks at you, at the love in your eyes, the way your gaze softens when it falls on him, and he knows instinctively that he’d do it. He’d carry you there on his back if he could.

‘Sure Princess,’ he says, and he isn’t lying. This isn’t him humouring you, placating you. This is him showing he gets it, that he’d do anything you asked no matter how outlandish or absurd. 

‘I’ll even get you the biggest star as a gift yeah? How’s that?’ He adds as an afterthought, relishing in the way your face glows with the thought.

‘You will?’

‘Of course.’ He means it. Wholeheartedly. 

You giggle and clap excitedly and Rindou’s heart is so dangerously close to falling out of his chest. 

Loving you had not come naturally to him. Loving did not come naturally to him at all. There was Ran, and then there was everyone else, and everyone else was dangerous. Perhaps it was a testament to you, the both of you that is, that despite the obstacles, he had found you, and you had found him, and try as he might to deny that he loved you, he had known the opposite was true. That in the many years you’d shared, you’d had ample opportunity to walk away from someone like him and you didn’t, and perhaps if you had, he wouldn’t want this so much.

But he does. He wants life, all the mundanity of it, the picnics and the walks in the parks, the soft morning sex, the movie nights and cafe trips. He wants them so much it makes him sick to think about.

While he might have been the moon and stars to you, you were the sun to him. And all the light that you claimed led you home, was only what he borrowed from you , the thing he was redeemed by on the days he felt the sickening churn of self loathing and inferiority in his stomach. 

I  love you, I love you, I love you- he wants to say like a fervent prayer at an altar, a wish clinging to the back of his throat. But he can’t and the words are boulders in his chest. Rindou, who swore he’d never get attached, never allow himself the fantasy of love or whatever it entailed, who told himself he was content when it was just him and Ran as it always had been.

He sits you on the corner of the bed and bends to remove your heels, your eyelids fluttering. He places your heels carefully underneath the bed and then, with one hand on the small of your back, sets you underneath the covers, pulling them up till they rest just underneath your chin, your hair now splayed across the pillow in wisps of silk. The sheets are cold and you rub your legs together for warmth. 

He tucks a few loose strands behind your ear and bends to press a kiss to your forehead. It's rare to see such vulnerability from him, to see him looking so loose, so open, so tender and with hands that are so gentle against your cheek, tracing the arc of your jaw. 

He kisses your cheeks, the corners of your mouth and then finally, your lips. They’re soft, hesitant even, as he brushes them against yours, and even in your partial slumber, the pulsing in your eyes getting more noticeable by the second, you can taste the nicotine and mint on him. Your chest fizzles with warmth. 

He sees you smile abashedly and pull the covers up further to cover your exposed neck, believing it to be the result of just a good night out and not the feeling of his lips on yours, or the soft tickle of his hair against your collarbones.

For all of his smarts, he still doesn’t quite see, you think, the waves of love you’re willing to give to him. Could you do this forever? Could you trail after him forever, amid all the guts and blood, the death and danger and guns? Would it matter so much if you had him? 

Rindou stands and reaches over towards the bedside table, flicking off the lamp, smoothing the bedcovers down again in that meticulous way of his. He moves towards the door, casting a final glance at you huddled under the sheets. 

He pauses at the door, his hand on the doorknob, the light from the TV in the room opposite streaming across the carpet, and the moonlight pouring in through the open curtain and Rindou smiles tentatively. 

He closes the door with a soft click, avoiding the floorboards he knows creak, bracing himself against the wall to lessen the noise, his heart lifting when he hears the soft sighs from your sleeping form.

Goodnight, he thinks, the sun in my sky.

a/n: hii everyone I am so sorry for not posting in so long! I have been working on things, and I had fun writing this, I hope you all have fun reading it too. Writing for Rindou feels so natural I'm not quite sure why, and I'm not entirely sure where this idea came from but thank you all for all the lovely and wonderful feedback so far, I adore you all. Likes and reblogs are well appreciated as always, thank you all again. And happy anniversary my angel, I hope you enjoy my gift.

Taglist: @mxnjiros @islascafe @prettyiolanthe @brownsugarmoonie @wotakuhime @snakegentleman @kimduckja @severellamahottub @haitaniapologist @lonnie19 @nafarsiti @invisible-cardigan-33 @crown5 @the-travelling-witch @bladesandguns @reiners-milkbiddies @girl-by-the-lake @1900-aria @rottingreveries @qiiuusoup @bontenacious @hoetani @sinfulseashell (pls send me an ask/dm/comment if you'd like to be added!)

[kimduckja]

fuckboy and suave ran is all fun and all but may i suggest: suave ran when it comes to just flirting but when its done with actual romantic intent he just kind of shuts down a little @rottingreveries @softbajis @virtue-and-beneviolence

imagine him confessing and hes rubbing the back of his neck and can barely meet your eyes. the tips of his ears are tinged red and theres a slight hesitancy to his voice thats never there otherwise. hes doing nervous ticks like kicking the rock next to his foot with the toe of his shoe, brushing off nonexistent dust specks.

ran is so used to having to be cold and suave and calculating that he has never known what it feels like to truly be in love. he loves rin but thats different. ran who has spent free days reading about romance in novels but never expecting himself to actuallt experience it. he didnt know how love and romance worked. nobody ever asked to tell him about it, and he thought. he thought he would never want to learn either.

but then he meets you and falls in love slowly with your little quirks and everything about you. and he gets to realize for his own that he can love and be loved in return. and that love isnt always how they describe it in the books and finds his own way of loving you. finally realizing what it means to be “crazy in love.” and it gives him a rush thats so opposite to the rush of beating someone up, but he finds that he prefers the former.

just. ran.

[kimduckja]

this is gonna sound so cliche but dont you just love the feeling of yearning

[kimduckja]

hi everyone its ya boy still mentally ill

[kimduckja]

After a workout.