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…because I need to be writing again✨👀

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my gong-gong died on tuesday. I wrote the obituary and uploaded photos for the slideshow yesterday — the eulogy comes next. I have the deliverables for this process down — when you’re at 4/4 grandparents, the whole thing goes smoothly. mourning down to an art. I loved my grandpa — an original weirdo who certainly contributed to some of my own worldviews and characteristics.

life is strange and wonderful these days. the loss of Ben marks an end of an era — he provided so much Chinese representation for the family. I fear fragmentation but also hope for a new fresh order that serves the whole community. it smells like transition and the days are heavy with nostalgia. healing is happening — healthy little hells that haunt and taunt until your thoughts collect and set.

I need a nap.

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I just want to protect and adopt June. she’s my favourite one😭

June & The Suns

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simba and mushu

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it just occurred to me that watching sports is essentially just dudes trying to prove they’re better than other dudes with no meaningful dialogue just some other guy’s commentary on their performances. like, or course im not into that😅

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Carson & Greta + physical touch

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Carson & Greta

A League of Their Own s01e04

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smooch

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all I wanted to do was watch drop dead fred tonight.

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3:07 on a wellness day

I sold out a lil and moved to tech (preparing for that single mom life I want so badly). it turns out I kind of love it and because my whole heart isn’t tied up in work I’ve convinced myself serves a higher purpose — there’s just room for fresh emotional energy. so I like my new life in tech and can truly enjoy these wellness days they give us (no work allowed) and can reclaim my time and energy. there’s space again to think and be and grow. and write for me (think for me).

was sitting knees up in the sun and thinking about thoughts: I am a how and why person always — no matter the what or when or who. but I realized I value this in people too: the ability to understand their whys and how’s of their thinking too (the effort to understand and consider). because this way of thinking allows less judgement of the who and instead focuses on the why and how of the situation judge the situation not the person. if situations repeat — especially after explicit dialogue and boundaries are placed — it could be time to take the who out of the equation tho. but you’ll have the whys for that sorted based on behaviour (data). actions matter most and should hold most weight when engaging with character analysis.

emotional effort matters.

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my fav tiny human

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my most handsome nephew😭❤️