knowatall-blog

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Divorce Equality

Divorce equality There's been a lot of talk lately about Congress legally declaring marriage equality for gay people. Many people I know have expressed anger for this decision that our government has made. Some have even expressed a concern that this decision will bring down the wrath of God on this nation for it. The reason for the outrage among people I know and some I just saw on the Internet is usually because of their belief in the Christian God of the Bible. There is a couple of verses in the bible that speak against homosexuality Leviticus 18:22 / 20:13, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Romans 1:26-28, 1 Timothy 1:10. Because of a common belief among we Christians that the bible is God's words, we see these scriptures as being the instruction book for how to live life. When the bible says that homosexuality is an abomination to the Lord, we believe that it is a sin and wrong to be homosexual. It is our desire to live in a way that God wants us to live and we will see being gay as a way that God doesn't want us to live. This is why we have been so angry at the Supreme Court decision, because it's going against something we believe is the right way to live. And we as Christians believe that to do something that is wrong separates a person from God and experiencing His love. This is the understanding from the point of view of those of us who have a more literal interpretation of the bible. What has been upsetting me about the anger from my brothers and my sisters is that we will say things like "it's not necessarily the fact that people are gay that's wrong, it's the act of having sex with another person of the same sex". When we do this we're, to some extent, saying that we understand that some people are just born gay. Reading the bible literally we also acknowledge that God has made everything. We just have a problem with the sex. Because it's continuing in sin. It's literally living a life continuing in a sinful behavior that separates people from God. What I find interesting about this view point is that Jesus Himself only gave one reason that makes divorce allowable and that is if one person is unfaithful (Matthew 19:9). He goes on to say that anyone who remarries someone who has been divorced for any other reason commits adultery and causes the other person to commit adultery. There is another passage that allows for divorce if someone who isn't a Christian leaves the marriage, but that's not God's word it's actually Pauls word so it actually doesn't apply. (1 Corinthians 7:12-15) That's it. The only reason a person is permitted to be divorced in the bible is when the other person has committed adultery. Any other reason is considered adultery based on Jesus' words. This includes abusive relationships, alcoholic or drug abusing spouses, child abusing spouses it doesn't matter. What makes me upset is that most churches won't allow gay people to serve or be members. The reason they give for this is because of the continued sin of homosexuality. What is convenient is that we've made all sort of room for divorced people to serve and be members of our churches. Straight people who have been divorced for any other reason are allowed to serve and even be pastors of churches. Remarried people serve and lead our churches all the time. What I'm seeing is that straight people don't experience same sex attraction, so we feel like it's ok for us to make gay people conform to a standard in the bible that we don't have to obey. However, we DO struggle with divorce! (statistically speaking based on the Barna research group, atheists have better divorce rates than almost all Christian sects). It seems that experiencing divorce through our parents, through our friends and family, and through our own lives, we have realized that there is more to the story than whether or not someone commits adultery. We have spent thousands of years wrestling with this issue. With divorce being so prevalent throughout the ages, we have had the unique opportunity of putting flesh and bones on the subject, which has made room for compassion in this area. I don't believe for one second that my mom, who divorced my alcoholic dad and remarried, is an adulterer. I also don't believe for one second that she is in hell, like the scripture says she will be. There are those of us who believe that the bible tells a progressing story of the expanding consciousness of human beings and their experiences with God. We believe that Jesus gave us the keys to heaven, and left us with the task of making decisions about what life will look like as God continues to pull us forward. Those of us who believe this, believe the ruling by the Supreme Court to be an act of love from God that is pulling us forward. We find the story of a God who would condemn 40-50% of Americans to hell because of their divorce uninteresting and not good news. If we are going to continue to discriminate and exclude gay people, we must also do the same to divorced and remarried people. If this is the case, we must begin the good fight for divorce equality. If you're reading this and you're gay, I want you to know that you are dearly loved by the God who made you. I want you to know that you are in no way a mistake. And I want you to know that I'm standing with you. https://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/15-familykids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics#.ValeFVL3bCR

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This sh*t happened because of me

So musician/director Rob Zombie is making a new movie called "31" that will be 100% fan backed. This means a couple of things. One it gives him total creative control since he won't have to answer to a corporation. Two the only money he has to make the movie will come from fans. For every contribution you get something. There are different contribution levels that give differing rewards. The smallest donation of $5 gets you a bumper sticker that says "31: this sh*t happened because of me and RZ". Which caused me to realize a couple of things. First with the rise of kickstarter and other fan backed web sites I see that we as humans want to be a part of something. Even if it's a small part. And secondly, I see that the people making the art or whatever is being made see the genuine need for others and want to make sure to communicate that. This got me thinking about, what we call in the church world, tithing. From what I understand, tithe means "tenth" and is a good idea of measurement to give to your local church/God ultimately. Many of us struggle with this concept. We hate the idea of giving money to a church because we think they're just taking it and buying nice cars with it or living the high life while we struggle. While this has happened before I would like to believe that it was an exception in the world of Christianity. We all know that Rob Zombie could easily take all of this money he's getting and say "Thanks suckas!" and just run with it. Yet we seem to have no problem giving to him. The church that I attend calls church membership "partnership". I think the idea is that if our Pastor handed out a bumper sticker when you gave to the church it might say something like "Restoration Church: This sh*t happened because of me". It seems to me that the church is the original kickstarter. We can see that we all have the desire to be a part of something and help create a thing. And this is exactly what happens when we give to the local church. There are people who wouldn't have before get food because of your giving. Family's get heat turned on in the winter. People going through divorces are taken care of because of you. Giving (and not only monetarily) is changing people's lives. May you come to see in your giving that "this sh*t happened because of you"

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The truth will set you free

The truth will set you free This is a concept that has been sparked by Rob Bell. I have spent a while in a mindset of thinking about the truth in such a way that says "If it doesn't come from a Christian (one who believes the same way as me) then it's not truth and can't be trusted." Or another, "If it doesn't mention God, Church, The Bible, or Jesus then it's probably some secular source that cannot be trusted." I believe that too one extent or another we all struggle or have struggled with this thought pattern. I also believe that this thought pattern can be dangerous for us. However, in my journey as a Christian I have stumbled upon a new way of thinking about the truth that has set me free from an "us vs. them" mindset. There is a passage in the bible where Jesus says "I am the truth". So in my prior way of thinking about the truth it was a lot like "unless it says God, Church, Bible, Jesus, Christian then it's not truth." Which can leave us stranded when we encounter truth from a source that isn't one of those, let's say an atheist. But Jesus said He IS the truth, so maybe a better way of looking at it is, it's not where I find Bible, God, Church, Jesus is truth, but wherever I find truth I find Jesus. And then we can honor that truth in all things. Which will also help break down the "us vs. them" wall. The Apostle Paul in the newer testament quotes a prophet from Crete. A prophet who we would consider to be a false prophet. "One of the Cretans, a prophet of their own, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.” This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith, (‭Titus‬ ‭1‬:‭12-13‬ ESV)." He takes it even further in acts by quoting a Greek poet. "for “‘In him we live and move and have our being’; as even some of your own poets have said, “‘For we are indeed his offspring.’ (‭Acts‬ ‭17‬:‭28‬ ESV)." He was talking to people who didn't believe in the God he came to tell them about and used their own poet to make the point because it was truth. Truth seems to be bigger than any religion or culture. It seems like Paul just goes around seeing and claiming truth for his own. After all, "So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭3‬:‭21-23‬ ESV)" My favorite example of this is in the BBC Robin Hood tv series. The interaction goes like this. Allan: What is the point of us all dying? Robin: For every man there is a purpose which he sets up in his life. Let yours be the doing of all good deeds. That’s us lads. Will: Is that the bible? Robin: It’s the Koran. Will: What’s that? Much: It’s the Turk bible. He read it in the Holy Land. Allan: Why? Robin: I wanted to know what it was that we were fighting. The truth will set us all free and has the power to break down walls. May we all look for and affirm The Truth wherever we see it.

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Magical vs Practical. FIGHT!!

Magical vs Practical. Fight! I've seen within myself and others a love for the magical. This fantasy realm where anything can happen because of magic. Many times we can end up applying this to Jesus. Who He is, what He wants, how He thinks. I'm calling this Magical Jesus. I first met Magical Jesus early on in my journey as a Christian. He would let me know how much He could do for me...if I would only pray. Or if I would just read my bible. I began to see Him interacting everywhere with my friends and family. He's a great guy! Always wanting to help us all. I've watched Him offer to fix relationship problems. "All you have to do is read and pray. Get to know Me better.", He would say. Those of us who struggle with anxiety, fear, depression He knows the way out. "Just trust Me more. Make sure you read your bible every day and pray and you'll be fine." He was always willing to heal and/or take care of our loved ones when they were sick or hurting. "What they need from you is to pray hard for them. And they will be well." Homeless people and enemies were friends to Magical Jesus. "Just pray for them", He would say. One day I noticed that no matter how much I read and prayed, relationships were the same. Fear, anxiety, and depression still ruled over us. Loved ones were still sick and hurting. Homeless people were still hungry and enemies still weren't friends. It was in this place that I met Practical Jesus. Or maybe just Jesus. Jesus would tell me the hard stuff. The things I didn't want to hear like, "If you want your relationship to be better then you have to come with Me and do some really difficult work." Or He would let me know that fear, anxiety, depression can happen to everyone and that He would be with me while I seek help to work through those things. Or even medicine to chemically bring me back into balance. He taught me that some sick people need soup, cough syrup, or a card. While some just needed a friend while they went through a disease that wouldn't quit. He let me know that He would be with me when I gave the homeless person some food, or a ride to shelter. Jesus showed me that I may have more in common with my enemies than I realized and for me to humble myself might drive away my enemies and bring in a new friend. Jesus taught me a lot about Magical Jesus too. First thing is that Magical Jesus, as well meaning as He is, is never satisfied. He requires you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Magical Jesus can lead us in pride. Telling us when we just _____ enough our problems will be solved. It's a paradox of it's own, in one hand Magical Jesus does all the work for us. In other hand we control Magical Jesus by how good we can do the job of manipulating Magical Jesus to do what we demand Him to do. We like it because we don't really have to trust and surrender. We can hold into illusions that if we just do IT better we can make life work like we want it to work. It also seems like choosing Magical Jesus removes actual relationship. There is no dialogue needed. You don't need to bother having any of your own thoughts, needs, or desires. Just rub the lamp and He will fix you problems. It also can remove a level of responsibility on our part because we just have to wait for him to do the work. We don't really need to do our part in life of owning our stuff and doing the hard work to get through it. I've found that Jesus is much different. He sits with us in the midst of the terrible while we feel our feelings. He uses therapists to help work through things like fear, anxiety, and depression. He's ok with, not scared of, and dare I say even happy for us to have our own thoughts, needs, and desires. I believe He is very practical and real in life. And that no matter how many prayers we say or verses we read, Magical Jesus just isn't enough.

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You should read this

There is a subtle and small word used all over in our speaking that ignites the fire of shame, disconnection, and disempowerment like a gallon of gasoline on a bonfire, this is the word 'should'. I think we often use this word to infer our responsibilities but fail to see the damage and disconnection it causes. This word is especially present in most Christian circles, as if it comes from God to us humans who don't realize what is required of us to be acceptable. So there is a difference between guilt and shame, the easy difference is that guilt says "I have done something wrong or bad", shame says "I am wrong or bad". Shame is common to all people though some of us struggle a little harder than others. You can see it in "man I'm such an idiot, I just _____!" "I'm so stupid!" And phrases like that. These are less subtle shamers. So when we talk about "I know I should read my bible more" or "I should be a better spouse" or "I should ______" We also use it to shame others, "you shouldn't do that" "you should be a real man and do it" "you should _____" This communicates a subtle but definite message that "look I know I'm bad but I don't want to be" or "you are bad and should be different". We also ascribe this language to God. "God says you should read your bible every day". Another angle is when we use "should" it is a shame-based word because it implies, or states blatantly, that we aren't enough as we are. we "should" because that will qualify us, will validate us, will make us enough, because who we are as we are isn't good enough, so we "should" do or be this or that because then we'd be enough, acceptable, valid, included, qualified, etc. Should also disconnects us from each other. "You should have called me" "I should spend more time with my family". This talk communicates that we or they have no choice, wants, desires, or anything else that is important to the relationship. It then, isn't a dialogue between two people with similar or different interests, likes, dreams, hopes, or goals, it becomes a monologue between the talker and the unspoken rules that don't require any human interaction to complete. Along the same lines, we who are Christians claim to have a relationship with Jesus and say things like "I should pray more" or "I should spend more time with God". This removes the idea that we have any say in what actually happens. Do we want to be I'm a friendship, marriage, relationship of any kind with someone who should be with us? Or should love us? Should also disempowers us. If we should do or be something we have no choice in the matter. But if we just changed or substituted that one word we might see empowerment. Maybe we COULD be different. Maybe we WOULD desire our relationships more. We CAN change, not because we SHOULD but because we can and we want to. We have a choice in the matter. On a secondary note, should can also act as a scapegoat. Because we become so disempowered so it isn't our fault or choice if we fail. We just ARE bad. But when we substitute words we have no choice but to own our mistakes, failings, shortcomings, and successes. They become something we did or did not choose to do. And we have the power to call our friends more or to read and pray more. And we can get disappointed in a healthy way when we don't live up to our goals or expectations. But we will no longer BE bad to our very core. I've been trying to find the healthy and appropriate use of the word should. I would say that it is healthy to use 'should' when we're talking about something that has an instruction manual. When I push the power button on my tv remote, the tv SHOULD turn on. When I put a cd into my CD player, it SHOULD play music. Life and people don't fit in with this as easily or clearly. You were created beautiful, good, and loved. Yes you have done some things to mess things up, but those mistakes don't have (note the substitution of the word should and the feel it causes inside) to define you. They don't get to tell you who or what you are unless you allow them to. But you can be strong and courageous. You can be empowered and loved. You can be connected even deeper.

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Duck Dive

So there's this thing surfers do when they're about to run into a wave. It's called a Duck Dive. What happens is instead of letting the wave flip you over or throw you around, you push the nose of your board down into the water and run directly into and through the wave. It allows them to go through the wave quicker, gives them control over how the wave effects them, and keeps them from getting tossed around by the wave. Being slightly new to the ocean, while walking I still try and stand my ground when a wave comes to keep it from knocking me around. This comes a little from fear of it knocking me down. What I have experienced while doing this is that the wave is much tougher than I am and slams into me like a football lineman. It ends up hurting if I do it wrong. It can also end up pulling my shorts down if they're not tied tight enough. It also slows my walk to the water down significantly because every time a wave comes, and they come pretty frequently, I stop, plant my feet, and brace for impact. This got me thinking about tragedy and emotional experiences. When we experience a tragedy or strong emotional devastation I've noticed that we all seem to have a tendency to avoid the pain with many different ways. Some of us use drugs and alcohol. Some use sex. Some use violence. Some use hurtful words. Some of us even use the bible in order to "make it all better", as if nothing is happening and everything is ok. We end up using these things, and more, as a way to brace ourselves for the wave to come. We stop, plant our feet, turn our heads away, and brace for impact. Please don't misunderstand me, not tragedy or emotionally devastating experience is pleasant or easy in any way. And God knows that I struggle with them so much. But what if we tried something different? What would happen if, instead of bracing for impact or trying to hide from our emotions and pain, we faced them head on? If we did a Duck Dive directly into the waves of these things? What if we actually dealt with our pain and worked through them? What if we didn't avoid them and let them do their work on us? Maybe we would get through them quicker. Maybe we would not be rocked as hard by them. Maybe we would have more control over the effects our pain causes us. Or at least be able to effectively control ourselves through the pain.

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Self

Matt: So let's talk about personalities. Many of you know that I have a pretty extrovert personality most times. I receive much joy from serving and helping people. It's just who I am. While most of this desire comes from God, some of this desire comes from this thing inside of me that just wants to make everyone happy. We can call this "people pleasing". People pleasing can be a dangerous game. When you are a people pleaser you have a hard time saying no to anyone. And not saying no can bring with it many other consequences. So it's easy to see how trying to please everyone can stack up on you pretty quickly. Leaving you feeling like you can't do anything you want for fear that someone might not like it, or you can't do anything right because of your real or perceived expectations from others. There can be so many stories that develop from people pleasing. And there can be many stories that cause people pleasing. Part of the problem with this way of doing things is that you end up living split with yourself. You have the you that's actually you. Then you have the you that comes from the real and perceived expectations of others. You end up giving yourself away to people who demand your attention or who you perceive demand your attention. You become less and less like you and more like everyone else. So, some of my personal reasons why I worry about making everyone happy. Many of you don't know that I have three dads. Yep, three. My birth father's name is Tony. I was then adopted by my sisters birth father whose name is Jeff Burns. And after he and my momma divorced my momma remarried a man, my step dad who has been with me since about 13, by the name of Rick. Well for the first almost 10 years of my life I was under the understanding that Jeff was my birth dad. Until I learned about Tony. Tony and my momma didn't work out together and he ended up moving to Wyoming. At the age of 8 or so my momma and Jeff got a divorce. So at this point in my life my two father figures had left me. I think this is some of my cause for wanting to make everyone else happy. The story in my head goes a little like this. "If you disagree with them, or if you say no they will leave you." I think the part of my brain that developed this was still a child and as far as I know children are ego centric. Meaning they think that everything is because of them. My brain may have developed this thing that found a common thread for people leaving me. And that thread was me. It must be my fault so I need to make sure people are happy so they don't leave. If they like me and are happy, then they will stay. But if they find out who I really am, if I say no, then they will leave. Just like my dads before did. Now I would like to make something clear. When my mom was pregnant with me, she was 18/19 years old. Which would mean that Tony was around the same age. I believe that Tony acted the best he could with his 20 years. And the same with Jeff, when he and mom got a divorce, they were around 28 years old. Being a 30 year old right now, I know that there are many things I am not prepared for and that I am not able to handle. This isn't a blog about how terrible my dads were, because I don't believe that. But this IS my story. So I shared it. Now I have been working really hard to figure all of this stuff out and working with Jeff King (shameless plug) to help guide me through my stories. Jeff: Jeff: Matt is describing a powerful narrative that gets written in our lives when we experience major events in our lives, particularly loss and trauma. We’re especially vulnerable to these narratives when the events happen early in life. Our mind takes an event, like our dad leaving us, and creates a story about it. The story is our interpretation of why the event happened. It also creates assumptions about what the event continues to mean for us. The impact is ongoing. Our stories often go unexamined. We live as if they are true and not to be questioned. As Matt indicates, in our childhood those stories are told through an ego-centric lens. Kids can only think in terms of themselves, so the conclusions they draw is that the event is all about them. In Matt’s story, dad leaves. As painful as that event is, the narrative is even more so: “Dad left mom and our family (really, dad left ME), because I did something to make him leave. This is my fault.” The larger meaning often becomes, “I feel scared and hurt because dad left. Other people are unhappy too. I better make sure this never happens again. I better not disappoint people and make them angry. I can’t say no to them. I can’t risk losing them.” This kind of thinking is a toxic recipe for people pleasing. The gears are set in motion for a life-long pattern of selling our selves out in order to make others happy, to keep them close and guarantee they forever love us. People-pleasing doesn’t require major trauma and loss to get a kick-start in our lives. It can happen in much more subtle ways. My parents are still married after 60 years. I always felt secure in my home. But I’m still a recovering people-pleaser. My people-pleasing grew out of several influences. I was the youngest of three children. Some significant people in my life were perfectionists and could be quite critical. I learned early the importance of not falling short of their expectations. My parents were very moral people who never confronted others. I never witnessed them angry, either with each other or those outside of our family. My dad was a scout leader and Sunday school teacher. I bought into his moral standards and the high level of integrity he modeled. Kids are great observers. However, they are not very accurate interpreters of what they observe. I took my observations of perfectionism and my parents’ personal character and stirred them into my own pot of interpretation. Out came a brew of people-pleasing. I concluded that it was wrong, a sin, to tell others “no,” and to express dissatisfaction with life and circumstances. I took others’ disapproval as a statement of my own moral failure. I worked hard to have people think highly of me. Many times it came at the price of not being honest—saying “yes” to things I didn’t want. Pretending to be happy when I wasn’t. Forcing myself to like things I really didn’t. Believing I couldn’t say “no” to others. If others were mean to me, I swallowed my pain. I dared not speak up for fear I might hurt their feelings by my honesty in expressing my pain or anger. That would make me a bad person, and I couldn’t afford that. It’s been a long process of stepping out of people-pleasing mode. I’ve learned a couple of things along the way. One is that the most loving thing I can do is be honest. And that means telling people “no” when appropriate. Another is I cannot say a meaningful “yes” to others unless I own the permission to tell them “no.” If I don’t have the option of “no” (and that’s something only I can give myself), my “yes” really isn’t a true yes. I really don’t have a choice at that point. I’m a slave. Whatever good thing I do under those circumstances is not truly noble. I’m only doing it because I’m being forced to do so. So what do we do? Well it's time to stand up. You have permission to be who you are. Say No once in a while. Make room for yourself. Make room for the things you like. Realize that if you say no, people will live on. Realize that saying no frees you to say yes to yourself. Realize that giving an honest no actually respects and honors the person you're saying no to.

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I can see through you

Today let's talk about openness, honesty, and transparency. Many of us have had experiences where you have given people (family, friends, co-workers) information about yourself and they used this info for purposes that brought guilt, shame, fear, and a number of other things that cause pain. When we experience these pains we have a tendency to shut down. Pain is a feeling that we don't like. Just in case you were wondering. By "shut down" I mean to say that we tend to stop giving people information and experiences that are valuable to us. Most likely starting with the original offender and eventually leading to distrust in all people. We can become very guarded and rarely give of ourselves to people. We have a very rational fear that if we open ourselves up to people, they're just going to use our openness to hurt us. Which leads to a lack of honesty. A lack of honesty can develop in us with ourselves and with others. Because in most ways we agree that not being honest is safer than getting hurt again. So after a long and eventful day we maintain that our day was "ok. Nothing very important or big". When we experience a painful situation we will avoid telling people about it for fear that they might not understand and tell us to "just get over it" or "you just need to pray more". Or we can become the kinds of people who aren't honest with ourselves. The fear being if we tell someone that we don't want to do that thing, they will start in on us or hurt us in some way. If you can't tell I have had some experiences that have left me a little skiddish when it comes to being transparent and open with people. However I have had some experiences with people who aren't afraid of transparency. These people inspire me. You can meet them day one in a group setting that brings many assumptions with it and they break the assumptions. They aren't like what you thought they would be. And they're not afraid to be that. It's as if they hold a position of "Here I am. Take it or leave it" and they're ok with that. I've also experienced people who were going through rough stuff, be it hard times or difficult sins and they brought these things to me. These people also inspire me. I've also come to realize that these people free me up to trust again. It seems that when you are open, honest, and transparent you're giving others the permission and freedom to be and do the same. The scripture points out that Adam and Eve were "naked and not ashamed". Now, while we can make the point that this was literal, I would like to bring attention to the figurative possibilities. Maybe Adam and Eve were completely open, honest, and transparent (which can feel a lot like being naked) and were not ashamed. Maybe this is what a community of people could look like. A people who know you for all that you are, and still accept, love, and embrace you. I think this is a good goal. So remember, when someone offers you something of them-self, this is a gift. This is something to be cherished and treasured. This is something that should be counted as honor. Maybe we can all work on becoming the kind of people you can see through.

[knowatall-blog]

And it was considered righteousness

So a bit of honesty and openness. Sometimes I struggle with these stories in my head that play over and over. These stories do their best to convince me of my worthlessness and the superiority of others over myself. Sometimes they get to be pretty believable. Sometimes they're going so often that I don't remember that there are other stories out there, so by default I end up believing these stories. This led me to thinking about Abraham. In Genesis 15 God (who is still fairly new to Abraham. His name was still Avram) is telling Abraham that He's going to bless him. God tells him that He's a shield to him and will reward Avram very greatly. They go on to discuss how Avram doesn't have a kid and he's wondering how he can be a nation without a kid. That's when God tells him to count the stars and that Avrams descendants will be that many. Then it says "and Avram believed God and it was considered righteousness". I have been wondering why that detail was recorded. Why was it important that we knew that Avram believed God? And why or how is believing God considered righteous? I'd like like to start by thinking about what was most likely going on in Avram's time. There were many gods in Avram's day. Usually each god had a certain specialty like war, or crops, fertility, or beer. So one day you have lots of crops, win your war, get pregnant, or drink lots of delicious beer. And it seems all is well. Your god is happy with you. But the next day all of this goes away and you realize that you've done something to offend god. Why else would all the beer be gone?! :) Now you're stuck in a weird position. What have I done that has made my god so upset with me that I lost my war, crops, baby, or precious beer. They must think that I don't appreciate them. I should do something to show them I do! I'll offer them some of my earnings, crops, and any surplus of things we have. However, you still have no crops, you're still losing wars, still no children, and no beer. Well then you start to offer more and more just to make your god happy until you're eventually offering them the most important thing you have, your first born son. Surely they'll accept this offering and give us peace and crops. In Avram's time the gods were demanding and vindictive. But THIS God is interested in blessing Avram. Avram hasn't done anything to earn this blessing. Avram hasn't offered sacrifices to this God. Avram isn't even anything special. Avram knows what the gods are like. He knows how everything works. But when this God promises him blessing, promises him a children he believes Him! Even though he has evidence that the gods aren't like this. Even though everything is against believing this story, Avram believes it. And it's righteous! So back to what's inside my head. I have this story that I've been handed of being worthless and not special and all sorts of other things. And I have this story of this God who loves me, blesses me, accepts me exactly as I am with zero strings. (I'd like to point out that if you are reading this, uand those who aren't, this story is true of you too) Two conflicting stories playing in my head but for some reason I stay loyal to the first story. I give it the most authority. This is the story that I base many things in my life off of because it's been the predominant story for a large portion of my life. I'm very familiar with this story. I know this story. It's a horrible story but it's comfortable. In talking with my good friend and therapist Jeff King (brilliant man by the way and a great therapist if you need help), he asked me, "what would it cost you to believe the story God is telling you about yourself instead of the one you have playing in your head?" This one took a little bit of thinking. I realized that I would lose something that felt solid and "trustworthy", which scared me. I would lose comfort. I would lose the laziness I have developed in not challenging myself to believe another story. But I would also lose worthlessness. I would lose shame. I would lose self loathing. I would lose these things that have so much power in my life and start this crazy adventure into this new story about being loved. This crazy story that this crazy God was trying to tell me. I would have value. I would be acceptable. I would be loved. So I decide to take Avram's lead and believe God. The thing is, I still have to make that choice every day at least and sometimes more. But I'm making the choice to believe God and I think He considers my choice righteous. I pray that you would know and make this choice too. Let's be righteous together.

[knowatall-blog]

Oh gay folks come on down, down to the river to pray

So today we’re going to talk about gay people and Jesus. We’ll begin and have this talk under the assumption of the standard American evangelical church that homosexuality is a sin. Simply because it would be a whole other conversation about everyone’s ideas on if it is or not. So there are a few things about this that I want to talk about. First, let’s talk about why this is THE sin. The common thing we as Christians say is “all sin is equal in the sight of a holy God”. This is to say that the sin of gossip is the same as the sin of murder in God’s eyes. Jesus actually says at one point in time “You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder ’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ’ You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. (Matthew 5:21, 22 NASB)” So I’ve noticed that we’re campaigning against homosexual people these days. Trying to stop the legalizing of same sex marriage. And some even hold up signs. The cry is that “it’s a sin!” But I’m left wondering why if this is a sin like all other sins are any of us allowed to get married. If a prerequisite to getting married is not sinning then we all should be single. Because even gossip is enough. Because apparently in Jesus’ eyes if you call your brother a fool you’re in danger of hell. None of us should be allowed to be married. I would recon the response to this is that homosexuality is unnatural. I would say from the point of view of a straight male that homosexuality IS unnatural…for me. Many of us have heard of gay people saying that they were born that way. This isn’t something that they chose. And if this is true, and only they know the answer to that, then being gay IS natural to them. So why the campaign against gays getting married? Why not witches? Why not slanderers? Why not proud rich straight white males? I’m willing to bet that the campaign comes more from our individual discomfort from the differences between we straight people and gay people. Many of us try to imagine being gay and it’s weird to us. “Why would anyone want to do that?” That’s most likely because it is unnatural to us. I’m sure there are plenty of gay people saying the same things about straight people. Secondly I’d like to talk about our role as Christians in our interactions with gay people. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NASB)” While we were still sinners who were still sinning! It seems to me that God loves us regardless of our sin. So it would seem to me that people who follow Christ would want to behave the same way. I feel like we need to fight against the terrible things that happen to and are said about gay people. Jesus was all about protecting and loving people who were marginalized and attacked for their sins. One of the most beautiful examples I’ve heard of this was from a friend of mine. He’s straight and has a gay friend. This gay friend has had his family nearly disown him. He wanted to walk in the gay pride parade but wanted his family to walk with him. His family refused so my friend went with him instead. This story inspires me. This seems like something Jesus would have done. Maybe there are many things we need to die to so that we can love and accept people while they are yet sinners. Maybe we need to die to our fears that gay people will somehow ruin straight marriage. Maybe we need to die to our anxiety about what God would say if He saw me supporting and standing with gay people. Maybe we need to die to our thoughts about what everyone else will think if we love gay people as people. Because imagine that someone called out your specific sin. And someone was telling you that you couldn’t get married because of your sin. Or that your church family told you that you couldn’t be a part of the church because of your sin. Imagine if your family disowned you because of your sin and someone stood by you through that. What if we as Christians stood up for people? What if we as Christians sang “as I went down to the river to pray studying about that good ol way and who shall wear the starry crown good Lord show me the way. Oh gay folks let’s go down, come on down, don’t you wanna come down. Oh gay folks let’s go down, down to the river to pray.”

[knowatall-blog]

They're trying to build a prison for you and me

So I have always been under the understanding that prisons, like schools, police officers, and libraries were state funded. This is apparently not all the way true. There are quite a few privately funded and operated prisons. Privately operated prisons are allowed to make money. And apparently there is a lot of money to be made in the housing of and use of criminals. From what I understand the housing of inmates pays from the materials needed to keep them. Clothing, blankets, food, cleaning supplies, and other things. Apparently this gives these businesses income. And on top if that these inmates can be used at 25¢ an hour to do many things. Apparently they produce “100% of all military helmets, ammunition belts, bullet-proof vests, ID tags, shirts, pants, tents, bags, and canteens. Along with war supplies, prison workers supply 98% of the entire market for equipment assembly services; 93% of paints and paintbrushes; 92% of stove assembly; 46% of body armor; 36% of home appliances; 30% of headphones/microphones/speakers; and 21% of office furniture. Airplane parts, medical supplies, and much more: prisoners are even raising seeing-eye dogs for blind people.” So in the 1972 there were less than 300,000 inmates in the prison population. In 1990 it was up to 1 million. And in 2000 it jumped again to 2 million people in the prison system. The United States has locked up more people than any other country. Half a million more people than China which has five times the population. The good ol US holds 25% of the worlds prison population but only 5% of the world’s people. A good portion of people locked up have been convicted of non violent crimes. And most inmates are Black and Hispanic. “Federal law stipulates five years’ imprisonment without possibility of parole for possession of 5 grams of crack or 3.5 ounces of heroin, and 10 years for possession of less than 2 ounces of rock-cocaine or crack. A sentence of 5 years for cocaine powder requires possession of 500 grams – 100 times more than the quantity of rock cocaine for the same sentence. Most of those who use cocaine powder are white, middle-class or rich people, while mostly Blacks and Latinos use rock cocaine.” Ok this info really upsets me. It appears to me that there are laws and things being set in place to keep this type of thing going. Apparently one in three black males can expect to be in prison in their life time. Which leads to kids without daddy’s. Which causes a number of other problems. But most of all there are way too many kids that have their daddy in jail. This breaks my heart. I was having a conversation with a friend and the idea was brought up that “I hate to say it but some people are just born to be losers”. I strongly disagree with this statement. I think there’s way too many factors in the nurture category that lead to “being a loser”. Like a system set in place to punish people to an extreme for small drug quantities and people committing murder getting out of prison before them. There’s something wrong with that! Having a large portion of people in prison causes a lot of single parent situations which causes poverty. Which can lead to a person who’s been beaten down enough to commit a crime to provide for their family. Which can lead to them being out in jail. Maybe next time you see a loser you can think differently and see them in a different light. I have no idea how I can help or defend people. I have no idea what can be done about this to change it. But it destroys my heart. The fact that a good portion of this “great nation” we live in has been built off of the backs of people being used to line the pockets of prison share holders is wrong. May God give us the ability and strength to stand up against this!

http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-prison-industry-in-the-united-states-big-business-or-a-new-form-of-slavery/8289

[knowatall-blog]

Ain't no racist babies!

So i think the title explains everything so I'm done... PSYCHE! So I was talking about racism the other day. Which is hard to do because I'm white. I haven't been racisted on much before. But I have experienced a lot of racism as a white person from other white people. You know cause we're in a club. Anyway there's so many things that these racist people say and think about people of certain race or color. This person is this color so they have a natural inclination to steal. This person is this color so they're most likely only here to make a drug deal. Oh no it's this color person so they're probably going to ask us for money. Weird thing is, you probably spent the time reading that last paragraph thinking about or assuming which color of person I was talking about. And that stuff exists for all races and colors of people. And what makes me sad is when I (one who claims to not be racist) finds those thoughts inside of myself. I can be all fine and then make some assumption about someone based on their race. Sometimes I have fear that rises up in me. Sometimes I have anger. It's like a subconscious racism that exists in me from things people have said and done in my life. It's power to cause thoughts and assumptions and fears drive me nuts. And these thoughts done just end in racism. There are many other differences that cause things like this in me. Then I started thinking about babies. Babies don't have those fears. Babies don't have or make those assumptions. Babies also don't have reservations about being with, playing with, or otherwise enjoying spending time with anyone. Old, young, male, female, different religion, sexual orientation, monetary income levels (low or high), mentally challenged. None of the things that we make assumptions about and have fears about matter to babies. I realize that everyone has their own story. Everyone has been through their own stuff. Everyone has been raised a certain way. We all have our life and baggage that has shaped us. I just wish that we were able to not let that stuff effect how we treat other people. Maybe this is one of the things that the bible means when it says to be like children. What if we all accepted each other's differences? What would happen if we pushed past our assumptions and learned to enjoy people as they are? Who would we be if we gave THOSE people a chance? Where would we be if we stopped being afraid of people and started being crazy and just loving other people as they are? Loving them because they exist. Maybe we all SHOULD become like children. Because there ain't no racist babies!

[knowatall-blog]

I Will Always Love You

There's a story if a child who gets asked if they want to ask Jesus into their heart and the child freaks out because they don't want anyone inside of their heart. Not literally. At one point in my life I was taking nearly all biblical things literally. If you asked me I would tell you that I was just reading it for what it says. Until one day... My atheist friend was talking to me about "my interpretation" of the bible. And I adamantly refused his idea that I was interpreting the bible. I continued saying that I wasn't interpreting the bible because I was just reading it for what it says. I fought hard because this idea caused a number of emotions inside of me. Fear, doubt, and questions. Fear of what it would mean if he was right. If I'm interpreting this, then is God even real? If God isn't real then what happens to me? What about my salvation? I had to be right about not interpreting. I had to be right about the earth brig created in seven twenty-four hour days. I had to be right about Jonah and the big fish. If I wasn't literally right about these things, what's next? I had it in my mind that the only people who interpreted the bible were the people who we're misusing it for their own gain. People like the Nazis, Fred Phelps, and Jim Jones. Until I started learning about the styles of biblical interpretation from people I deemed to be acceptable sources. Then it dawned on me. The bible is and has to be interpreted. Any time your pastor tells you the bible "means this" or "is trying to say this", they are interpreting the bible. And if you accept what they say, you are accepting their interpretation. If you don't then you are rejecting their interpretation for a different interpretation, either your own or someone else's. If you read the bible in English, you are reading the translators interpretation of the original language. If you learn the original language and read the bible in the original language you are reading your teachers interpretation of the language. Any book you read about, class you take, or person you talk to about the bible there is interpreting going on. I would like to say, there are styles and methods of interpreting the scripture that are deemed acceptable by most literary critics and biblical scholars. My point isn't weather or not interpreting is bad or good. Just that it is done. It has to be done or else we wouldn't be able to read it. So many of us in the Christian community end up with a perspective that interpreting scripture literally is the best way to go. Or that it's the only way to go. OR that if you don't interpret it this way then, you're not taking the scripture, God, or Jesus seriously enough. Two things have recently been brought to my attention. One. Children interpret life literally. Just like the child in the story above. It's the only way they know how to handle life. They don't get figurative language or other forms of artistic expression. Two. Approximately one third of the older testament is poetry, prose, and things like this. So as we know about art (or may not know) Art is expressive. It somehow puts words to things we can't really grasp. Like feelings. Many times art is not meant to be interpreted literally or else you lose out on the beauty of what is being said. Which brings me to another thought. Everyone in the world knows the song I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston. Some of us have played it at our weddings. Or played it for our girlfriends or boyfriends. That's because the song, the feel of the song, the words express well how we feel about our spouse or bf or gf. We are experiencing that we will always Looooooooove you. However, if you listen to or read the words alone, this song is about a couple breaking up. She's saying that she'll have bitter sweet memories of their relationship but she will always love him. And many of us have played this to our significant others because somehow we can feel the love. We agree with the loving. It's almost so strong of a love that we can't hear any other words other than I Will Always Love You. The thing about art is, it has the ability to speak to you. Wherever you're at in life. Whatever you're going through. It's like it knows. It's like it's Alive and able to cut you to the very marrow. You know there's a scripture to that effect. Talking about how the bible is living and active and able to cut to the core of you. The words written in the book we call the bible are able to speak to you. Any time. Any where. If we are stuck in the fear of letting it be interpreted and trying to interpret everything written literally we may miss the chorus that tells us I Will Always Love You.