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Chapter 61, just thoughts.

In the last panel Doumeki is covered in shadow. The light shines on his arm and it looks like his skeleton; he's exposed himself, and as far as he's concerned, a dead man. Every step he has taken for the last four years has been to get back to Yashiro. And it's all been for nothing. His mask has slipped, his motivations are clear. He was supposed to be patient, and now it's all over. 

Yashiro, in his last panel though, he's bathed in light. He looks like he's had a revelation. He witnessed Doumeki's outburst then watched his retreating back. The tattoo is evidence of Doumeki's resolve. Has Yashiro finally realised that it was all for him? And what can he do with the weight of that?

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'I exist only to be his arms and legs... this is the only path I can take'. Nothing has changed. Doumeki is unwavering.

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Fantasy/Reality

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Chapter 56

Had to give my thoughts on this chapter as it was a real turning-point in Yashiro and Doumeki's relationship. It's all still incredibly messy and complicated, but I think we can all agree at least, that the relationship between the two of them has changed irrevocably for the better. 

Doumeki was brilliant in this chapter. He pushed and pushed. He was not leaving without an admission from Yashiro of his feelings and he got it. But he knew where the line was the whole time: 'The body chemistry is mutual'. Lightly worded, but his face in the previous panel! Doumeki is a man of very few facial expressions and here his pain and repressed feeling is written all over him. But he doesn't want to spook Yashiro with the weight of it. I've got no doubt that if it was up to him he'd want to tell Yashiro he was beautiful and how much he loves him over and over again, but he can't do that and is smart enough to know it. But the most important thing is he knows now that Yashiro has real feelings for him and there's no going back now. Yashiro will be his priority going forward, come what may. And what may come I'm sure is going to be very difficult to navigate with all the other story lines around them. 

Yashiro is brilliant and brave in this chapter. He lets Doumeki know where his behaviour has upset him. I predict Doumeki will never speak to him harshly again. It's the most open we've ever seen Yashiro. His face during the 'confession'... there's lots of different interpretations of what Yashiro says and means here. My rose tinted interpretation. Isn't he essentially saying: 'I like the way you do it/I want what only you can give'? It's certainly what he gets, at least. Doumeki is all passion and gentleness from here on. I feel like the message was received. Because now we see Doumeki doing things the way he wants to. He just wants to worship Yashiro's body. That's the kind of sex he wants and it seems to me Yashiro gives his permission. 

As for the end, again I feel so optimistic. Yashiro's face when Doumeki replies to his question of what kind of sex they are having is ambiguous for sure. So I might be way off here. But look at how Doumeki looks at him after he tells him it's just sex. Again, he's a man of few expressions and yet here he is so intense. And then a slow lean in towards Yashiro. And the tongues touching, a handshake of sorts. And Yashiro likes it. I think Doumeki played it perfectly and Yashiro was reassured. It allows Yashiro to take the next baby step. He can't suddenly play the part of a loving boyfriend, it's a role he's never had before. Where to start? This is better for them. A perfect first step towards whatever next. 

I'm probably way off on all of this but felt the need to put it out there. Love reading all your thoughts and thank you @itwearsadress for the translation. I would wash your feet in gratitude 😆

And lastly a few favourite moments. Yashiro's face after Doumeki swallows made me laugh out loud. Especially the second panel. 

And the way they are wrapped around each other when Yashiro is against the wall and Doumeki has him in his mouth. Yashiro's arm wrapped around and gripping Doumeki's head and the other around his shoulder. And Doumeki's hand wrapped around Yashiro's leg and the other... And the way they are curled around each other. So pretty.