koishua

[koishua]

okay mini writer vie rant here but im so envious of plot-based writers who are able to follow a timeline and a set list of events over a period of time and keep it all cohesive and just. y'all rock. i would LOVE to be a longfic writer but my writing style is almost entirely emotion-based. like. it's only vibes and unnamed feelings. vague. abstract. and i tried to write longfics SO many times before but it just doesn't work because my writings are like movie scenes without the dialogue keeping it 3 dimensional. it's like. idk idk it's like. watercolour landscapes. not very dynamic, which i WISH they were. and i guess everyone has their strengths and whatnot but it still sucks ass how my brain doesn't just click that way no matter how hard i try. maybe it's because i myself live my life the way my writings turn out to be. like im only awake for bits of it. snippets. and i feel more than i live, which honest to God im sick and tired of lol

[koishua]

WOODZ / 230902 (cr. luvyouryouth) taking his in-ear out to listen to the crowd that's singing drowning

[koishua]

my ultimate goal as a wannabe writer is to come up with a story that reads exactly like how a wong kar wai movie feels 😔🙌

[koishua]

in a quirkless world, childhood friend!kiri would give you small rocks as presents every other day, wrapped in pretty ribbons, and you'd have a collection of pebbles of all shapes and sizes

[koishua]

[koishua]

in my defence i clearly don't write with ai bc i barely write at all ghgfgh if only i was corrupt and dumb enough to use it to be a more consistent writing blog but oh well ig i have morals

[koishua]

oh lord the ending ;-; op you're a liar wanting to "emulate" my writing when YOU WRITE LIKE THIS????? BONKERS 🚨🚨 genuinely you have such a way with words i adore this i am a sucker for angst everybody knows this by now? shhdhd

ending scene | y.ji

Synopsis: You loved him so much that you let him go. Pairing: Yang Jeongin x fem!reader Genre: angst, hurt/no comfort Warnings: emotional break-up, couple doesn't get a happy ending together Word Count: 1.4k

I recommend listening to "Scott Street" by Phoebe Bridgers while reading this.

Exactly two months ago, you promised Jeongin that you would never have any regrets when it comes to looking back at him. You both had been curled up together in his little bay window, him patiently humming to himself while you sketched an inky heart on his pale wrist. It had always been like that between you two, happy and idyllic without a care in your world. And that world perpetually looked like sunny days and the dimpled smile that never strayed from Jeongin’s lips.

If you tried hard enough, maybe you could delude yourself into believing that everything is still the same. Even now, as he pushes your luggage for you, leading the way, you can smell his coconut shampoo wafting into your space and invading your sense of reality. If you closed your eyes, you think you could imagine that you both are at some kind of carnival, lost in a different crowd of giddy thrill-seekers and not harried travelers. 

But you’re void of anything right now, even false hopes, as you listlessly haunt the cramped aisles of the airport. The lightweight legs of your sweatpants seem to weigh you down like quicksand, your shirt pooling sadly at the length of your thighs; you hadn’t even bothered to put any thought into your outfit, like you usually do. There was no point, anyway.

“Okay, do you remember everything I told you?” Jeongin turns back to look at you, the tension rigid in his broad shoulders. “Once you board the plane, make sure to get some sleep and don’t watch movies the whole time.”

You sigh, taking your boarding pass from Jeongin and crossing your arms, hugging yourself for warmth even though you’re already swaddled in the sweatshirt you stole from him. “I can take care of myself, you know. You aren’t going to be there with me anymore.”

The hurt is written all over his face, and in turn, it wounds you to be the harbinger of it. But anything is better than waking up to the truth when you’re thousands of miles away from him, all the way on the other side of the world. Sharing sorrow right now is better than suffering alone, you repeat to yourself like a terrible mantra.

And it feels wrong to be the one looking into the brutal clutches of reality; you were always the daydreamer of your merry twosome, and Jeongin the one who always admired your wandering mind. You both had thought it would always be like that, the storyteller paired with her lovestruck muse. 

But you’re also the one who’s walking away, no matter how vastly the decision remains as something that was not yours to begin with. You didn’t think that this story would end like this, so soon and so terribly. 

“We’re still young,” Jeongin murmurs, cupping your face in his large palms, his lips ghosting over yours. You hate how much you’ve missed the feeling of it, even though it’s been barely minutes since he had done the same before kissing you as he helped you out of the taxi. “We’ll call everyday. And I’ll save up so I can move to be with you.”

You pull Jeongin’s hands off of you, harsher than you like, a complete contrast to how gentle he’s been with you for the years you’ve known and longed for each other. You don’t let go of him, grasping his arms to keep them at his sides, and he looks down at you with a mixture of both confusion and sadness.

Swallowing the tears that choke your throat, you inhale and rub slow circles on the backside of Jeongin’s left hand, more to calm yourself down than to console him. “Exactly. We’re still young. We still have our whole lives ahead of us, Jeongin. I’ll only hold you back.”

And you recognize Jeongin’s subsequent reaction to your words, because it’s the very emotion that you’ve felt the entirety of your adolescence: anger. There’s more to it; frustration, denial, desperation— everything that can encapsulate how trapped you’ve been in your own life, the ugliness below the fairytale you concocted for yourself. 

“What are you talking about? You won’t be holding me back.” Jeongin rears back from you, eyes flashing with the certainty of every other eighteen year-old madly in love. “Don’t say things like that.”

You close your eyes, heart hanging heavier than the moon you gazed at last night while you lay in your bed, sleepless. “But I will. And you’re already saying you want to move. How can you say that so surely? How can you not think of your own future? Of your dreams?”

Jeongin looks stunned by your insistence, but the doubt swirling in the depths of his eyes tells you he knows. “Because I love you.”

The tears that have been threatening to spill finally drip down your skin, tracing your cheeks down to your jaw. “And I love you, so much. But I need you to choose yourself. I couldn’t live with myself if you didn’t.”

He shakes his head, the defiance evident in his glistening eyes. “No. No. Why are you saying this?”

“Because this is going to be the last time I see you,” you whisper into his ear, cradling his neck and pulling him into a tight embrace. “You are one of the only things in my life that has ever felt right to me. I don’t want it to turn into a lie.”

“Don’t go, please. Not like this,” Jeongin pleads, and you almost melt— almost. As much as you hate to admit it, the resolve in your heart is stronger than anything else. You love him so much that you know you have to let him go.

“I’m so incredibly jealous of the girl who you’ll fall in love with after me. I hate her already,” you laugh dryly, even though it isn’t funny.

Jeongin sniffles, rubbing haphazardly at his nose. “There isn’t going to be another girl. I’ll always love you.”

The tears begin to blur your vision as you stand on your toes to place one last kiss on Jeongin’s beautiful lips. “I guess we’ll see. Stay smiling for me, okay?”

He doesn’t say anything, frozen where he stands, both in disbelief and sorrow. You see the denial in his gorgeous eyes, as if he doesn’t truly accept that you’re leaving yet. But he will, soon enough, so you don’t say anything more, grabbing the handle of your suitcase and turning to leave. He doesn’t call out to you, and you don’t look back. You fear that you won’t be able to move any further if you do. And as you now sit in your cramped seat in the unceremonious economy section, you know that you’ve upheld your original promise. You don’t regret loving Jeongin, no matter how fiercely it feels like your heart beats in your chest, how deep that pain cuts into you. Your time with him is a part of you, a girl full of wishes, dreams, and hopes. Loving him has made you who you are.

From the moment you set eyes on him, years ago, you wanted to be his. You had thought that longing had finally, finally been quenched when Jeongin kissed you for the first time, but now you realize that it’s still there, a keepsake of your love. 

You still haven’t come to terms with how sometimes, life just doesn’t go the way you endlessly pray for it to. You so badly want to stay in that bubble with your first love so that he’ll be your last too. But you know that most likely, that will not manifest outside of your imagination. What really will happen is that you’ll move on and grow older. You’ll fall in love once more and get your heart broken again. You’ll become a wife, a mother. You’ll achieve your goals, dare to do what you’ve always dreamed of. 

As the plane starts to pull out onto the runway, you can swear you see Jeongin waving from the shaded glass expanse of the airport. You lift your hand to wave back, but his figure becomes marred by the hazy twilight rays that soon envelope the aircraft, before it disappears altogether Your arm falls back to your side and you turn away from the window, attempting to remember the already fading outline of your lover and the glittering city that was once home to the both of you. 

You can feel it all slipping away; the days biking through the tulip-lined streets and the nights sneaking out to rendezvous behind the local grocery store. The midnights when he slowly traced your lips with his fingers, and the afternoons in which you wrote your name on his back with your own.  Soon, these memories will be nothing but a speck in your heart, another one of the stories that you’ll narrate to those in your future who are willing to listen. Your husband, your daughter. 

You might forget the intricacy of the details, from his very name to the flavors at the ice cream parlor you went to on your first date. But you know you’ll never forget this, the ending of a chapter in your life that right now, feels more bitter than sweet. You’ll never forget how beyond the future that lays in wait for the both of you, you were once just a young girl who loved and was loved. 

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» 

AUTHOR'S NOTE My mom, dad, and I are planning my little sister's sixteenth birthday party and her bias is Jeongin, so here's an early birthday present! Procrastinating on studying for finals by posting this quick drabble, check! Jisungsdaydreamer is in her active era when she shouldn't be... all my fellow students doing okay? Only a few more days and the exam season will be over and we will have holiday break! 화이팅! 🌨️☃️❄️ -Dreamy

TAGLIST @hamburgers101 @chansburgah @ajxreads @hash2013 @pixigreen @ana-marais98 @ohish  @chizumiyoshi @lilydaisyyy @jetblackbelle @yeahhspider @army-stay-noel @143hyunes @httphans @ave-221 @nyasstars @beautifulmusicaddict-blog @xsw-void @queen-klarissa @ultimatestayandminoronce @sxlxna @chillseo @boomfrogg @hyunzerolv @browniebearr @hanniemylovelyquokka @sweetpickledjins @insertsomethingaboutanimehere @kylielovesu

NETWORK TAG  @k-films

©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

[koishua]

the talent you have is insane, i cant believe i have never come across your page before. like, your writing is pure poetry, do flowers just grow wherever you walk i cantttt

woke up to this ask i am going to cryyyyy hello hi!! thank you so much?? i cantttttt

[koishua]

Omg i love Woodz too!! Waiting and accident have survived through many of my life phases and changes and its still in my Playlist lmao

WOODZ FANS ARISEEEEEEE im slowly trying to collect moots who adore him too ugh he's just so insane in every way imaginable he's like. someone who's maxed out all of his skills in a game it's crazy i love him your honorrr

[koishua]

annd when i write a wholeass enha mini series inspired by woodz songs ugh i miss him we're so close to a comeback im going to cry

[koishua]

COMMISSION | sebchal

[koishua]

what in the actual world is going on with kpopped???????? the western x kpop collab competition/show????????

[koishua]

[koishua]

so.

[koishua]

I always ask myself this question, if people a year ago when I created the campaign had donated to me and helped me and we reached the desired goal, I would have fled the war, I would not have lived in a tent, I would not have slept, I would not have drunk contaminated water, I would not have been afraid, but unfortunately people ignored me, the person who ignored me, are you happy now?

😕😔💔

I created my campaign more than a year and two months ago. I communicated with many of you. I faced difficulties with the Internet in order to spread my campaign. I asked for your help at the height of the war.

Despite many attempts to publish, only a few people helped me, thank you to them, and many people ignored me.

The campaign's first and main goal was to travel outside Gaza and escape this horrific war, but because many people ignored me, I only received $5,000 in more than a year. It was too late, and the crossing was closed. We are now living inside a cage, trapped and afraid.

I also faced many challenges such as: my Tumblr account was banned more than 15 times, my PayPal account was banned twice, and they withheld $310.

As for the money I got from the campaign, we bought food and drinks and paid university fees (we are studying remotely).

I had decided to cancel my campaign and not post because this thing was making me worse than before due to people ignoring me and in a big way

But I decided to return to spreading my campaign because we are hungry. Yes, it is true that we are hungry. The entire Gaza Strip is now hungry, without any exaggeration. There is not a single loaf of bread. We have begun to lose balance due to the lack of food.

I hope everyone will help before it's too late.🙏🥹

VITTED BY @90-ghost

LINK VITTED

LINE 315

Please help

🙏❤️

GFM LINK

USDT

@omegaversereloaded @punkitt-is-here @tamamita @skunkes @ot3 @valtsv @wolfertinger666 @paper-mario-wiki @chokulit @noble-kale @memingursa @afro-elf @beserkerjewel @feluka @i-am-a-fish @nyancrimew@spongebobssquarepants

@sabertoothwalrus @90-ghost @komsomolka @hotvampireadjacent @certifiedsexed @isuggestforcefem @3000s @pissvortex @prisonhannibal @apas-95@vampiricvenus @marxism-transgenderism @beetledrink @bevsi @spacebeyonce @bonkcreat @11thsense @boobieteriat @sporesgalaxy@spitblaze @space-is-the-place2 @sar-soor @sayruq @sadhoc @sappho114@sailor-plut @gallade-x-treme @paleolatrans

[koishua]

[koishua]

★ ★ good boy (?) @ myungjae! 0.8k domestic whimsy

“Be honest with me. If I turned into a worm tomorrow morning, would you still love me?”

The glass surface of the coffee table you are currently completing your assignments at is met with the thud of your forehead coming into contact with it in exasperation. You look up at Jaehyun laying on the couch with a game ongoing on his phone, his thumbs incessantly pressing on the screen at who knows what speed. His face, however, is the epitome of relaxation, his eyes casually sizing your reaction with a concerned rise of his perfectly shaped brows.

“No, I would not. Obviously, I would throw you out the window and hope that I never see you again.” You lay your words down as quickly as your tongue is able to turn, adding a quick and unapologetic “No offense, though. I love you the way you are.”

Your boyfriend, frankly, is more than just a tad bit offended.

“You’re cruel.” That is all he says before he grumbles incoherently before flipping to his side, back facing you like a cold wall. You have to say that seeing him taking your answer to heart in that way is slightly amusing, so to not offend him any further, you keep your giggles to yourself, quietly continuing with your monumental task at hand.

Periodically, you check on his sulking form on the cushions, still very much throwing himself into his game, pointedly huffing every time you pause typing on the open google document (something something, numbers numbers, a graph here, a graph there, a multitude of question marks and highlighted words). A peaceful (for you, at least, because God knows the amount of times the man on the couch has tossed around) hour passes by in a blur and soon your body starts craving its second cup of coffee once it has run out of the caffeinated fuel.

You push yourself up from the floor, hands on your waist cracking your back with a groan. You cross over to the side of the sofa to check on your boyfriend and his current state of emotion. Much to your surprise, he is still immersed in his game, ignoring your call of his name. You’re well aware of the slight upwards twitch of his lips he tries to hide behind his phone screen, however. Grasping a few strands of his well-conditioned hair, you give them a small tug, earning an annoyed “Go away, myungjaephobe.”

“But this myungjaephobe is making coffee. Don’t you want some, too?” You try to entice him to look at you again with a cup of joe. It works, because you see him take a glimpse at your knowing grin. You also see his losing fight over the control on his lips, a smile unwillingly forming at your advance.

He rolls his eyes to try and keep the last bits of his act in play, “I guess I could let you make me some, too.”

His response elicits an affectionate reaction out of you, hands roughing up his hair further than they already had been by the beanie he’d tossed on the floor a few minutes ago. “Good boy.” You chime mockingly, getting up from your crouched position before he grabs your hand to pull you right on top of him with practiced ease, memories of a few nights before springing up to the forefront of your mind despite you trying to repress them.

“I’m not a dog, though?” His one hand catches you by your waist, whereas the other still holds your wrist above your heads. The mischievous twinkle in his eye roots a feeling of dread in your stomach, thinking that maybe— just maybe— calling him a good boy out of nowhere was not the better decision to act upon. Or was it?

Trying to save yourself, you pinch his cheek with your only free hand. “I would love you a whole lot more if you turned into a dog instead of a worm, just saying, you know?”

He doesn’t take your haphazardly thrown bait, opting to flip you around to press you onto the sofa before biting the same side of your cheeks as you pinched him, to which you shriek and push him away with a disgusted yelp. “Did you just bite me?”

You carefully wipe at the spot with your sleeve, eyes fluttering shut when you feel him press an apologetic kiss over where the pulse is on your neck, now quite a bit faster than what should be normal. He laughs at your inadvertent reaction, pulling away from the quick, but tight embrace he gives you. “I don’t want you to throw me out the window when I turn into a worm. You’re going to be stuck with me forever.”

You blink.

“When you turn into a worm?”