krisb-writing-blog

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What is emotional vulnerability? And can how can your characters show it?

(these are from my POV of what I have learnt and researched. differences in opinion are appreciated because no definition and depiction is set in stone | Credits must be given when reposted elsewhere / @urfriendlywriter ! I hope this helps all of you :D)

Tackling this with three topics:

What's vulnerability?

Actions related to vulnerability. (Actions/words that depict a person is feeling vulnerable + some dialogue prompts)

How to build trust between two people?

Vulnerability:

Emotional vulnerability is the ability to be open to and express one's feelings, even when facing the risk of rejection, criticism, or shame. Vulnerability means acknowledging your difficult emotions. Accepting overwhelming feelings, being able to express them with tender care towards yourself and others.

I'd consider myself a very openly communicative person. If I love you--as a friend, family or something else, I'll make sure you know the depth of it, the meaning behind my words, my look and my touch. I encourage vulnerability in all my relationships and it has positively reflected in their own personal growth as well. Being open, being real, being you, with all the ache, the scars, the hurt, and even the small ball of light within yourself amidst is all---that's vulnerability. And as we,

We gen z, we shelter ourselves to protect ourselves from hurt. But... if we get hurt, is it really our fault? No. If somebody hurts you intentionally, it doesn't translate to what you deserve or must go through. But if I don't get hurt... how will I learn to cope with it? Express it? Communicate through it? Learn from it? And.. importantly, how will I..

Learn how to heal myself again. Learn how to love myself far better. Learn how I want to be and what relationships I want to attract?

So, me, personally, I put myself out there. Like an open book. To read, to feel, to see--including the hurt and the parts I'm working on. Of course, i don't fully lodge it down a person's throat in one go, but u get what i mean. It is slow building of trust and can be used to your advantage as well. (lol that sounds toxic)

Harsh Truths?

Some people will use it against you, but should it hurt you if u were real to yourself? No.

Not all people u open up to may be emotionally mature. And that's okay. Move on.

It is not the end of the world if someone who saw all parts of you turned against you. It simply wasn't your person. It was neither of your faults.

Paint a character afraid to be vulnerable:

Hesitancy to open up, to speak up for themselves.

Blinking back tears, and telling themselves they'd be okay regardless.

"Atleast I don't have it worse."

"And.. If.. I tell you.. You won't look at me differently? Like.. I'm--I'm not worthy?"

doesn't ask for help. doesn't accept help easily.

doesn't think they're worthy to be seen. or to be loved. to be accepted or to even be heard.

"what i say won't make much of a difference anyway" A & "No, i want to hear it. how little, silly, stupid, serious, deep, it may be. I want to hear it. Please."

being numb to pain that they think it's normal to internalize it all.

and one day it erupts all out. into tears and rage. or raw unfiltered pain that bleeds onto everyone who loves them, hurting them too.

they freeze, momentarily surprised when they're asked for their honest opinion

or when they've to blink back tears when someone notices something and helps them without them even asking

detached during intimacy or hyperventilating after or during it

pulling away and pushing the other person away when they truly need them the most

Paint a character confident in themselves and are openly communicative:

you will not second guess what they feel about u, because u can see it in their faces or they'll openly say it

they encourage honest and deep conversations

the look of love is always there in their gaze

they love openly. they have so much love to give.

they'll hear u out no matter the time of the day and will provide a safe space for u

"I'm always here for u" in a soft, quiet voice, a gentle smile and a warm hug

"It's okay to feel that way. Hell u should feel that way. If u wanna talk about it.. here I am."

they're their own safe spaces and they can dive into their emotions, whenever and wherever needed.

they won't let u feel alone in ur misery. they'll shoulder the burden with u, but won't internalize it as their own. (i fear this is very important)

always knows the cause of why they said what they said / how they behaved or reacted

can analyze even u with one glance.

"how are you?" As a gentle caress of words & "I've-I've.. never been asked that.. not with such sincerity.." shyness of the one opening up.

^ "So, here I am.. I've got all the time of the day. Care to tell me?"

They aren't afraid of rejection. But they'll not put up with bullshit.

Building trust between two people:

Building trust is intimate. If done right. Between friends, family, lovers or anyone it may be. It's delicate, it's comforting quietness at some times and hearty loudness at some other. It's being understood, being seen, being able to communicate freely and respectfully.

Vulnerability is present where trust is.

asking help for small things without shying away from it

physical closeness. after moments of honesty or heavy emotions.

prioritizing each other

admiring every little thing they do

lots of "thank you"s being said that shows appreciation loud and clear

nervous glances, shaky hands and fluttering heartbeats as they may be help u zip up ur dress.

forehead kisses, followed up with, "I see you.. Let me help u cleanse away the day's stress."

celebrating even the smallest of their success

asking consent in every small thing!!

^ "i-i why are u asking for that? yes, of course." A & "Love.. I should always ask, even for such a thing as that." B

Being slow but steady with each other

"U don't want to do that? no rush." Immediately backing off A with a smile & B trying to understand how they aren't mad yet "A-are u sure?"

^ "We're in no rush.. We'll go at you pace. But consider my emotions too down the line, hmm?"

Lots of "And how does that make you feel?"

arguments feel less like the ones they saw growing up. and now it's more intimate, thoughtful, full of understanding and closeness. both sides are heard, understood, appreciated and both sides change.

Author's (@urfriendlywriter aka Ziya) note:

As someone who had to learn myself, I'm hoping such a love finds me and all of us too! I've read gentle love in a lot of books. Gentle, patient, communicative, uplifting but I'm yet to find a book that's full of these. So if u have any recommendations, let me know.

Thank u for reading so far! I hope this helps u write amazing, emotionally available characters.

[krisb-writing-blog]

💥 Small Writing Habits That Genuinely Changed How I Write 💥

listen. i’m not here to sell you a productivity system or convince you that waking up at 5am will make you a novelist. i am deeply Not That Girl. HOWEVER, here are 5 chaotic little writing habits that quietly rearranged my brain chemistry:

✏️ typing BEFORE i know what happens i used to think i had to outline everything before writing. wrong. i get more done when i let the scene surprise me. just start with vibes and a line of dialogue. the rest shows up once you start moving.

🗣️ saying the scene out loud like a play no joke. talking my scenes out like a script?? life-changing. the pacing, the emotion, the rhythm of it all makes more sense when i act like i’m gossiping about my blorbos in a voice memo.

⌛ 20-minute timers (not for productivity, just to start) i tell myself “just 20 minutes.” sometimes i stop. sometimes i blink and it’s 2 hours later and someone’s been emotionally eviscerated in chapter 12. this one’s black magic. use wisely.

🕯️ re-reading my WIP like a book no editing, no judging, just reading through with snacks like it’s already published. changes how i see the pacing and emotional arcs. also reminds me it doesn’t completely suck.

🧂 leaving in the messy parts i used to delete scenes that felt “off.” now i just write a little comment like “THIS IS BAD BUT KEEP GOING.” turns out momentum matters more than vibes. shocking, i know.

anyway. tiny habits. huge mental rewiring. 10/10. highly recommend.

[krisb-writing-blog]

hello hello, whoever may stumble upon this lol

I've been quietly working on a fandom related draft that I'm going to be publishing on Wattpad and on here as well ♡

this post will be a brief plot description, and I'll properly introduce you to the OC in the story as well ♥︎

Living For The Hope of It All

oc: Hope Buckley

yes, I did name the work and the character after one of my favorite lyrics from "august" by Taylor Swift 🪩🎶 the pun is intended as well ♡

Author's Note:

It is set between season four and into season five of 9-1-1 for now, and will contain spoilers and emergencies, as it's an emergency based show. Please be advised as you read on!

Plot:

A few years after older sister Maddie moves to Los Angeles to have a fresh start, baby sister Hope takes the plunge as well after getting her teaching degree and starting her masters in early childhood psychology, something that the Buckley siblings could've used during their respective childhoods. A fresh start in Los Angeles proved to have its struggles for each of the Buckley siblings, but determination is something that's never wavered for them. Hope truly is "living for the hope of it all" (pun intended) as she makes a life for herself in sunny Los Angeles.

About Hope:

Hope Buckley is the fourth child of Phillip and Margaret Buckley and the little sister of Daniel, Maddie, and Evan "Buck" Buckley. As with her older siblings, her childhood had its chaotic moments, and she learned to do things quietly so she wouldn't bother her parents. In fact, they didn't know she was on honor roll until her teachers called to congratulate her in high school, and she received the honor of being valedictorian at her high school graduation. But this didn't last too long, unfortunately; After Buck left home, all of her parents' attention went to her, and she hated it.

They criticized her dating choices, and her decision to work on childhood psychology. As a compromise, she took classes in college to get her teaching degree, and decided to move to Los Angeles like Maddie and Buck for her masters degree in childhood psychology. She had a lot of experience on the subject, which both impressed and concerned her professors.

Being a broke graduate student in Los Angeles, she is the main resident of Buck's couch at the moment as she looks for a place and starts her job teaching at an elementary school in August, and she's not afraid of what's to come. A new start, a new town, and potentially new love await as she lives for the hope of it all (pun intended).

♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎

Hope's faceclaim is the actress Melissa Benoist (Glee, Supergirl, The Girls on The Bus, The Waterfront). I do not own any of the images included in the grid below, I found them on Pinterest so all credits go to their proper owners. All I did was do some searching, and used PicsArt to piece it together as a little added detail ♥︎ I will be including gifs in the chapters I post here, and crediting the sources for those as well.

[krisb-writing-blog]

[krisb-writing-blog]

10 Quiet Ways Your Character Is Breaking Their Own Heart (And Pretending It's Fine)

These are the betrayals that aren’t loud. They don’t come with fireworks or screaming matches. These are the small, slow deaths. The ones that your character lets happen... while smiling politely.

» They say yes when they desperately want to say no. Every. Damn. Time. They show up when they're exhausted. They agree to things they hate. They make themselves smaller, softer, easier, because "good people" don’t make waves, right? (Spoiler: they're drowning.)

» They keep chasing people who only love them halfway. It's not even subtle anymore. They know these people leave them on "read," show up late, make them feel like an afterthought. But they cling anyway, spinning every scrap of affection into a story about hope. (It’s not hope. It’s hunger.)

» They refuse to believe good things are meant for them. They’ll hype everyone else up. They’ll believe in everyone else's dreams. But when something finally good lands in their lap? They’ll panic. Push it away. Tell themselves it was a fluke. (Because being disappointed feels safer than being lucky.)

» They’re waiting for closure that will never come. An apology. An explanation. A miracle where someone says, "You were right, and I was wrong, and I’m so sorry." They wait years. Decades. Lifetimes. But deep down, they know: some people never come back. Some stories just end without punctuation.

» They’re hoarding all their "almosts" like treasures. The job they almost got. The love that almost worked. The version of themselves they almost became. They replay those maybes like a greatest hits album. (Meanwhile, real life is slipping by while they mourn possibilities.)

» They’re performing a version of success they secretly hate. Look at the Instagram. Look at the LinkedIn updates. Look at the shiny exterior. It looks like winning. But every trophy they collect feels heavier, not lighter. Every promotion tastes a little more like ash. (Turns out, chasing someone else's dream is still losing.)

» They forgive people who aren’t sorry. Not because they’re enlightened. Not because they’ve healed. But because it’s easier to pretend it didn’t hurt than to sit with the fact that it did—and that the person responsible doesn't care. (Some wounds scar better when you stop pretending they were accidents.)

» They punish themselves for still being soft. The world told them, again and again, that soft things get broken. And they believed it. So every time they feel too much? Every time they cry or hope or trust? They tell themselves they’re weak. Stupid. Embarrassing. (They're not. They're just still alive.)

» They downplay their own magic. They call their talents "lucky breaks." Their beauty "average." Their intelligence "no big deal." They shrug off compliments like they're dangerous. Because deep down, they've been taught that being remarkable makes you a target.

» They cling to the idea that if they just work harder, they'll finally be enough. They believe in meritocracy like it’s a religion. That if they hustle hard enough, self-sacrifice deep enough, burn themselves to ash perfectly enough, someone, somewhere, will finally say, "You're worthy now." (They were always worthy. The system is just broken.)

[krisb-writing-blog]

"a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend"

4x07 The Initiative

[krisb-writing-blog]

Emotional Walls Your Character Has Built (And What Might Finally Break Them)

(How your character defends their soft core and what could shatter it) Because protection becomes prison real fast.

✶ Sarcasm as armor. (Break it with someone who laughs gently, not mockingly.) ✶ Hyper-independence. (Break it with someone who shows up even when they’re told not to.) ✶ Stoicism. (Break it with a safe space to fall apart.) ✶ Flirting to avoid intimacy. (Break it with real vulnerability they didn’t see coming.) ✶ Ghosting everyone. (Break it with someone who won’t take silence as an answer.) ✶ Lying for convenience. (Break it with someone who sees through them but stays anyway.) ✶ Avoiding touch. (Break it with accidental, gentle contact that feels like home.) ✶ Oversharing meaningless things to hide real depth. (Break it with someone who asks the second question.) ✶ Overworking. (Break it with forced stillness and the terrifying sound of their own thoughts.) ✶ Pretending not to care. (Break it with a loss they can’t fake their way through.) ✶ Avoiding mirrors. (Break it with a quiet compliment that hits too hard.) ✶ Turning every conversation into a joke. (Break it with someone who doesn’t laugh.) ✶ Being everyone’s helper. (Break it when someone asks what they need, and waits for an answer.) ✶ Constantly saying “I’m fine.” (Break it when they finally scream that they’re not.) ✶ Running. Always running. (Break it with someone who doesn’t chase, but doesn’t leave, either.) ✶ Intellectualizing every feeling. (Break it with raw, messy emotion they can’t logic away.) ✶ Trying to be the strong one. (Break it when someone sees the weight they’re carrying, and offers to help.) ✶ Hiding behind success. (Break it when they succeed and still feel empty.) ✶ Avoiding conflict at all costs. (Break it when silence causes more pain than the truth.) ✶ Focusing on everyone else’s healing but their own. (Break it when they hit emotional burnout.)

[krisb-writing-blog]

How to use Em Dash (—) and Semi Colon ( ; )

Since the ai accusations are still being thrown around, here's how i personally like to use these GASP ai telltales. 🦄✨

Em Dashes (—)

To emphasize a shift / action / thought.

They're accusing us—actually accusing us—of using AI.

To add drama.

They dismissed our skills as AI—didn't even think twice, the dimwits—and believed they were onto something.

To insert a sudden thought. Surely they wouldn't do that to us—would they?

To interrupt someone's speech. "Hey, please don't say that. I honed my craft through years of blood and tears—" "Shut up, prompter."

To interrupt someone's thoughts / insert a sudden event.

We're going to get those kudos. We're going to get those reblogs—

A chronically online Steve commented, “it sounds like ai, idk.”

Semi Colons ( ; )

To join two closely related independent sentences / connect ideas.

Not only ChatGPT is capable of correct punctuation; who do you think it learned from in the first place?

Ultimate pro tip: use them whenever the fuck you want. You don't owe anyone your creative process. 🌈

[krisb-writing-blog]

5 Tiny Writing Tips That Aren’t Talked About Enough (but work for me)

These are some lowkey underrated tips I’ve seen floating around writing communities — the kind that don’t get flashy attention but seriously changed how I write.

1. Put “he/she/they” at the start of the sentence less often.

Try switching up your sentence rhythm. Instead of

“She walked to the window,”

try

“The window creaked open under her touch.”

Keeps it fresh and stops the paragraph from sounding like a checklist.

2. Don’t describe everything ��� describe what matters.

Instead of listing every detail in a room, pick 2–3 objects that say something.

“A half-drunk mug of tea and a knife on the table”

sets a way stronger tone than

“There was a wooden table, two chairs, and a shelf.”

3. Use beats instead of dialogue tags sometimes.

Instead of:

"I'm fine," she said.

Try:

"I'm fine." She wiped her hands on her skirt.

It helps shows emotion, and movement.

4. Write your first draft like no one will ever read it.

No pressure. No perfection. Just vibes. The point of draft one is to exist. Let it be messy and weird — future you will thank you for at least something to edit.

5. When stuck, ask: “What’s the most fun thing that could happen next?”

Not logical. Not realistic. FUN. It doesn’t have to stay — but chasing excitement can blast through writer’s block and give you ideas you actually want to write.

What’s a tip that unexpectedly helped with your writing? Let me know!! 🍒

[krisb-writing-blog]

i promise your story is going somewhere. even if it currently lives in a google doc called 'aaaaaaaaaaaaa_finalfinal.docx'

[krisb-writing-blog]

being a writer is like babysitting 15 feral children you gave birth to in your mind and they all have knives and secrets

[krisb-writing-blog]

I ain't a wimp when I get writers block I STRESS ABOUT IT FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT, and not to ChatGPT like a coward. I face writers block like a man, laying in bed hours crying.

[krisb-writing-blog]

How to write hospital scenes 

From someone who’s definitely been in too many and would very much like a refund...ツ

⊹ Waiting rooms are emotional purgatory. They’re too bright, too quiet, and weirdly timeless. Fluorescent lights buzzing, TVs playing muted news no one watches, coffee that tastes like burnt stress. People aren’t relaxing in there, they’re just existing, awkwardly pretending their phones are interesting while dissociating at 40% battery.

⊹ Everyone talks in a whisper, but not because it’s respectful, no, it just feels wrong to speak normally. Like the walls might be listening, like if you talk too loud, something worse might happen, even the loud people get quiet in hospitals.

⊹ Overnight stays are hell. hospital chairs? medieval torture devices with upholstery. even if someone’s trying to nap next to a patient, they’re not sleeping. They’re half-listening to the symphony of beeping machines, nurse shoes squeaking, the occasional cough, and distant Code Something crackling over the intercom. it’s anxiety with a blanket.

⊹ The smell is unforgettable, like it’s not just antiseptic. it’s plastic and cafeteria meatloaf and sweat and fear and the smell of a place where people are very much not okay. the first time your character walks in, it’ll hit them like a wall. later, they might not even notice, or maybe it’s the only thing they can smell for days after.

⊹ Talking to doctors is a weird performance. You're trying to be calm, they’re trying to be calm. But no one is calm, your character wants to ask 47 questions and not sound desperate. The doctor explains things like they’re narrating a science video, and when they leave, someone will immediately go “wait... we forgot to ask” every. single. time.

⊹ Monitors beep constantly. half the time, it’s nothing. A wire got loose, someone rolled over. But the second it is something, the vibe shifts fast. Nurses appear like ghosts, machines start going off, and everyone starts moving. And your character? they might freeze, or panic, or forget they have lungs. Go with whatever makes sense for them, but make it visceral.

⊹ Time goes full funhouse mirror. Ten minutes waiting for test results feels like a year. A full hour stretches into eternity, meanwhile, three hours can pass without anyone realizing it. You can use this in your pacing, make it drag when the waiting is unbearable.

⊹ Hospital cafeteria food: Garbage. It’s either offensively bland or stupidly overpriced. The grilled cheese is six dollars and tastes like regret, and someone will 100% cry into a cold sandwich at 3am, because grief doesn’t care where you are.

⊹ People start fixating on tiny, random things. They can’t control the big stuff, so their brain zeroes in on a sock slipping off, a crooked IV pole, the repetitive drip-drip-drip of medication. Let them obsess over something small, it’s how the brain copes with being completely powerless...

[krisb-writing-blog]

Going back to old writing is either just like:

1. “Who wrote this masterpiece?! It was ME?!”

2. “Who wrote this absolute shit? Oh fuck my life, that was me, wasn’t it?”

[krisb-writing-blog]

10 Quiet Ways Your Character Is Breaking Their Own Heart (And Pretending It's Fine)

These are the betrayals that aren’t loud. They don’t come with fireworks or screaming matches. These are the small, slow deaths. The ones that your character lets happen... while smiling politely.

» They say yes when they desperately want to say no. Every. Damn. Time. They show up when they're exhausted. They agree to things they hate. They make themselves smaller, softer, easier, because "good people" don’t make waves, right? (Spoiler: they're drowning.)

» They keep chasing people who only love them halfway. It's not even subtle anymore. They know these people leave them on "read," show up late, make them feel like an afterthought. But they cling anyway, spinning every scrap of affection into a story about hope. (It’s not hope. It’s hunger.)

» They refuse to believe good things are meant for them. They’ll hype everyone else up. They’ll believe in everyone else's dreams. But when something finally good lands in their lap? They’ll panic. Push it away. Tell themselves it was a fluke. (Because being disappointed feels safer than being lucky.)

» They’re waiting for closure that will never come. An apology. An explanation. A miracle where someone says, "You were right, and I was wrong, and I’m so sorry." They wait years. Decades. Lifetimes. But deep down, they know: some people never come back. Some stories just end without punctuation.

» They’re hoarding all their "almosts" like treasures. The job they almost got. The love that almost worked. The version of themselves they almost became. They replay those maybes like a greatest hits album. (Meanwhile, real life is slipping by while they mourn possibilities.)

» They’re performing a version of success they secretly hate. Look at the Instagram. Look at the LinkedIn updates. Look at the shiny exterior. It looks like winning. But every trophy they collect feels heavier, not lighter. Every promotion tastes a little more like ash. (Turns out, chasing someone else's dream is still losing.)

» They forgive people who aren’t sorry. Not because they’re enlightened. Not because they’ve healed. But because it’s easier to pretend it didn’t hurt than to sit with the fact that it did—and that the person responsible doesn't care. (Some wounds scar better when you stop pretending they were accidents.)

» They punish themselves for still being soft. The world told them, again and again, that soft things get broken. And they believed it. So every time they feel too much? Every time they cry or hope or trust? They tell themselves they’re weak. Stupid. Embarrassing. (They're not. They're just still alive.)

» They downplay their own magic. They call their talents "lucky breaks." Their beauty "average." Their intelligence "no big deal." They shrug off compliments like they're dangerous. Because deep down, they've been taught that being remarkable makes you a target.

» They cling to the idea that if they just work harder, they'll finally be enough. They believe in meritocracy like it’s a religion. That if they hustle hard enough, self-sacrifice deep enough, burn themselves to ash perfectly enough, someone, somewhere, will finally say, "You're worthy now." (They were always worthy. The system is just broken.)

[krisb-writing-blog]

The fuck are you supposed to do with the semicolon ; ?

We’ve discussed the comma and the dash brothers—finally, the time has come for the less sexy relative: the semicolon. But how do we use it?

1. To link two related independent sentences

He didn’t believe in fate; she made him reconsider.

The forest was silent; even the wind held its breath.

Slap a semicolon between two complete sentences that are closely related but not joined by a coordinating conjunction (like and, but, or so). This creates a subtle pause—somewhere between a comma and a period—and it shows the relationship between the two sentences.

2. To separate items in a complex list

She packed her bags with care: a red silk dress, delicate and expensive; an old photograph, creased and faded; and a knife, sharp as her resolve.

As you can see, semicolons help with clarity. If the items in your list already contain commas, use semicolons to avoid confusion.

3.  To balance contrast or comparison

He spoke in riddles; she answered in truths.

The sun warmed their backs; the storm waited ahead.

Here we have a slightly sexier use of semicolons. They can elegantly balance two ideas that contrast or reflect one another.

[krisb-writing-blog]