kurthq

[kurthq]

Why didn't you ask me to help?! I would have helped you both. You know that.

Did I use mine and Brett's bruises to make a makeup cover up tutorial video for TikTok? Yes, yes, I did. I've done some before for when I cover up my tattoos and uh, hickies, but I felt like I should do one for this kind of thing too. I think once I'm healed up for good though, I'll make the opposite on how to look bruised for cosplay reasons.

[kurthq]

"What are you talking about? Your existence is the free show. You walk down the street, and your shirt somehow falls off in stages." He was absolutely ridiculous, and Kurt doesn't know why he's still entertaining this man. "Okay, your two minutes is up, I can't do this." A groan mixed with a laugh escaped, and before he could overthink it too much, Kurt tapped the end call button. He stared briefly at his phone, smiling before lifting it to type out a message.

KURT: Goodnight, Noah. KURT: Put a shirt on before you go to bed. It's cold tonight.

"Sorry, no refunds, but I can give you a free show whenever you want." It was far too easy to flirt with Kurt and he wasn't sure why that was but he wasn't gonna question it either. God, he'd do anything to keep that smile on the other man's face. Grabbing his phone he laid back against the headboard of his bed a smile on his face. "Just comes natural, baby. And you love it don't act like you don't."

[kurthq]

KURT: No! I don't need to. I'm just going off what I know about you. Which isn't a whole lot yet, admittedly. KURT: You might be right about that. KURT: As it should be. I discovered the Survivor album way too young. And believe I sang most of those with my whole chest. KURT: Yeah. Not in Ohio. Maybe one day, right? KURT: Have you ever thought of leaving? Ohio I mean. KURT: That was actually a compliment. I think.

text 📲 klaine

KURT: To be fair, you're already too talented with the major you have. You really don't need another. KURT: I respect the boldness to come for Beyonce's brand in the real world. The bravery that it would take. KURT: Because it's been haunting me too. KURT: Did you consider buying one for a moment there? KURT: Though I suppose it would conflict with your blazer. Being a Warbler and being Ken seems like it would take a lot of energy. BLAINE: You haven’t been researching me, have you? 😂 BLAINE: As you can attest, a little boldness gets you a lot of places. BLAINE: Though, in all honesty, Destiny’s Child era remains one of my go-to 💁🏻‍♂️ BLAINE: I may have considered it once but then I thought, maybe not in Ohio. BLAINE: I don’t know whether that’s a dig or a compliment 😂

[kurthq]

You live with me. You have the unfair advantage of knowing that even if I lied. But my next free day is Saturday.

Maybe mini golf will distract him. It could be good to get some fresh air. Unless you think he'd take his anger out on the course. I think he wants me to learn that handshake with him, but I can't do it, Sam. I can't.

See, now I don't believe you. Because then you could have just asked me.

No, I told you I'd do it when you wanted me to. If I judged you just for the sake of it, I'd hurt your feelings, and that feels a little like stepping on a puppies tail.

When are you free?

True. I know, but a win is a win? At least the sad slow songs have stopped and he's sober, angry, but sober. I just hate that face he makes when he goes to mess with his hair and then remembers it's not there anymore. Don't say that here because now he absolutely will. He's watched it at least six times that I've been able to count.

I can be sweet when I want to. Thank you and listen, I just want to get his opinion on cars.

I know, I kinda feel like you're doing it right now.

[kurthq]

"Yes, I'd like my money refunded for the tickets I didn't buy." Noah Puckerman was objectively attractive, and he knew that. It made him both charming and infuriating, and Kurt let out a huff of laughter through his nose as he flexed. "When you wake up in the mornings, do you plan out the ways you're going to plague my existence or do these things come organically to you?"

Popping up once he heard Kurt's voice he smiled as he looked at the camera. "Nah, just needed to get a good pump in before I took you to the gun show." With that he positioned himself so all of his shirtless glory was in frame and flexed his arms dramatically. He couldnt help but smile as he posed.

[kurthq]

KURT: Bless her heart. Kurt knew he was going to answer this call and be met with nothing but absurdity, and possibly Noah eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes. Yet he still answered, because with Noah, it was always something - and Kurt was unfortunately curious. "Oh, dear God." He groaned the second his eyes focused on the figure. He had to stop himself from immediately hitting the end call button. But he didn't, and he began to grin, despite himself. "Are you serious? Were you planning on just doing that for five minutes?"

PUCK: and they should have taken it more seriously... my mom said it was the best slogan ever ... Smiling at his phone, he set up his phone so it was propped up in the direction of the empty space next to his bed. Video calling Kurt, he quickly got in frame doing pushups.

[kurthq]

KURT: To be fair, you're already too talented with the major you have. You really don't need another. KURT: I respect the boldness to come for Beyonce's brand in the real world. The bravery that it would take. KURT: Because it's been haunting me too. KURT: Did you consider buying one for a moment there? KURT: Though I suppose it would conflict with your blazer. Being a Warbler and being Ken seems like it would take a lot of energy.

text 📲 klaine

KURT: I find it a little alarming that in this fictional universe, you HAVEN'T thought about this. KURT: 😂 KURT: I was going to say, Ryan Gosling is never a bad look. KURT: The mink coat? Certainly another vibe. But you can just be you. You are Ble-nough. BLAINE: I suppose that’s why my major is in music and not marketing. BLAINE: Also, fictional universe? ✋ BLAINE: I’m dead serious. Blaineyoncé. 💅 BLAINE: How did you know that that mink coat has been haunting me ever since I saw the movie?

[kurthq]

KURT: That's because you penned it and submitted it to Kellogg's yourself. KURT: I happen to have eyes, and you happen to say a lot of words. KURT: Okay, sure. Are you going to FaceTime me already or should I scroll TikTok for the rest of the evening?

PUCK: it's 1st in my heart PUCK: what're you talking about? i was talking about the FT PUCK: who knew Kurt Hummel had such a dirty mine PUCK: for the record I would definitely need more than 30 seconds for that

[kurthq]

KURT: Ah yes. The rejected second slogan. KURT: In that case, never mind. Something just came up in my schedule.

PUCK: frosted flakes only ever make things better PUCK: That's fine all I really only need is 30 seconds to get the job done

[kurthq]

KURT: You just had to go and ruin it, Tony the Tiger. KURT: 5 minutes? Let me check my calendar. I might be too busy. KURT: I'll give you 2 minutes.

PUCK: it's not good, its greeeeeeat PUCK: give me 5 mins on FT and i could convince you of anything

[kurthq]

KURT: I find it a little alarming that in this fictional universe, you HAVEN'T thought about this. KURT: 😂 KURT: I was going to say, Ryan Gosling is never a bad look. KURT: The mink coat? Certainly another vibe. But you can just be you. You are Ble-nough.

text 📲 klaine

KURT: Maybe I knew that and I'm just trying to get intel on your album before I release mine! KURT: I definitely think that has a certain ring to it. The cover art really sells the whole thing, though. KURT: You could do the whole rhinestone cowboy hat thing. Though I will heavily disapprove, it certainly would be a bold choice. KURT: Might I suggest a classic denim on denim ensemble? KURT: For the record, it's still an atrocity, but I think you'd be able to pull the look together. BLAINE: Oh, wow. You really put some thought into this. BLAINE: I fear me putting on a cowboy hat will only ever result in my somehow ending up looking like a Ken. BLAINE: Though I guess that isn’t necessarily such a bad thing, either. BLAINE: … SUBLIME!💥😂

[kurthq]

KURT: Just good? KURT: I'm kind of interested in how you'd convince me.

PUCK: good PUCK: I was gonna try and convince you if you'd said no bc I don't know if I can stop flirting with you

[kurthq]

KURT: I don't want you to stop.

PUCK: ive been told I'm a flirty dude PUCK: you okay with that or u want me to stop?

[kurthq]

KURT: Maybe I knew that and I'm just trying to get intel on your album before I release mine! KURT: I definitely think that has a certain ring to it. The cover art really sells the whole thing, though. KURT: You could do the whole rhinestone cowboy hat thing. Though I will heavily disapprove, it certainly would be a bold choice. KURT: Might I suggest a classic denim on denim ensemble? KURT: For the record, it's still an atrocity, but I think you'd be able to pull the look together.

text 📲 klaine

KURT: Hypothetically, if you were to release your own country album a la Beyoncé, what would the name of the album and titular song be called? KURT: This is Kurt Hummel, by the way. BLAINE: Hypothetically? Who says I don’t already have one in the works? 🤔 BLAINE: Hey you! BLAINE: I’m glad you found your way into my inbox. BLAINE: COWBOY ANDERSON would probably be too on the nose. BLAINE: 🤠😂

[kurthq]

Maybe I'd say yes to mini golf.

It's Brett. And you know how he is right now. I wouldn't put it past him to follow us, lock us up in the custodian's closet, and throw away the key. I swear I heard him watching The Parent Trap for the third time this week.

I can help you. With the manicures, I mean. And your hands. Are they still rough from last time?

That's actually sweet. It is by default, but if you insist, you may put me down. At least you aren't trying to get my Dad's number out of me - and no. I still won't tell you.

I'll judge you anytime you'd like, Sam, it doesn't have to be saved just for the emergency room.

Maybe. Plus, I bet if we at least go out and play mini-golf together Brett will stop trying to lock us in the closet together.

Little to nothing, but I actually have gotten manicures before... for well, when I need to take good shots of my fingers. It's too much upkeep though and mostly I don't want to have to come up with lies for why my knuckles are bruised.

Dude, do you even have to ask? Duh, I want you. There's literally no one I would trust more besides like, Blaine or my parents. You win though since we live together, but for obvious reasons I'm not putting Brett down. And to be fair, I would probably need to be judged if I end up there so it's fine.

[kurthq]

KURT: Your mixed signals give me whiplash, of course I have to ask. KURT: Now you feel upset.

PUCK: I was drunk not confused PUCK: I haven't really talked to anyone about it, except myself and Sam... and JBI PUCK: good to know PUCK: must not be doing a good job if you gotta ask

[kurthq]

KURT: That we were both drunk, and things got confusing, and it happened. KURT: I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. I just wish you'd trusted me enough to talk about it. KURT: You weren't bad. KURT: ... KURT: You're talking a whole lot and it's very confusing. KURT: Are you flirting with me?

PUCK: then what did you mean? PUCK: no not really but I have done it before once, not with a dude PUCK: ur the 1st dude I've kissed drunk I think PUCK: ur not the 1st dude I've kissed tho unless I was bad at it then yes u were and i think i should get a chance to redeem myself