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Leaving in may

Leaving in may

If i was stable then it wouldn’t’ve went black

If i was stable then i would’ve came back

If i could’ve been anything

Then i wouldn’t’ve been your man

If i take enough will you stay and hold me

If i take enough i just might slip away

If you knew me well you would’ve seen it coming

If you knew me well you would’ve known it was all your fault

I saw nothing in myself

I saw nothing in the end

I felt everything , every time you raised your hands

But i felt nothing when i slipped away

Now 3 years on i don’t remember your face

Now 3 years on i don’t remember the feeling

Now 3 years on i don’t remember how low you brought me down, when you beat me till i bruised and saw the weeping face of god

I left the world in may

But you left me in june

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You know damn well why.

You know damn well why.

We hadn’t spoke in months

You’ll only write to me when love’s escaped your grasp for the umpteenth time

So why is it me, why do you come back when you know the answer changes every time

You haven’t re-written the ending

You’re just bored again

and you need to break something

I can’t be that thing when i’m trying to be someone

We’ve not spoken in months

You know damn well why

We’ve not laughed in months

You know damn well why

We’ve not touched in months

You know damn well why.

Don’t come to me for another round

Especially when the bells are ringing

Don’t come back to me for another round

I’m blackout again and i’m not coming back

We can’t stay in the same room

Because you know what happens if i see your face for more than a minute

Heartbeats stop syncing when there’s nothing left to connect

We’ve not spoken in months

You know damn well why

We’ve not laughed in months

You know damn well why

We’ve not touched in months

You know damn well why

And we never will again.

Don’t come crawling back again when it’s all went wrong

Don’t come back again when he’s not all that you thought you was

Don’t come back to me because i don’t love you

Don’t ever lock eyes with me again because i am not the man who loved you

You know damn well why.

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les fleurs sont mortes, le soleil brille à nouveau

The cuts have scabbed over and left a jagged scar , but i wear it like a purple heart on my sleeves of lacerated , thin , suffering skin thats been tattooed bloody red with the seductive agony of a roses malignant thorns

Maybe it’s for the best that I , and only I know of what that bouquet looked like . It was wilting away and turning to mulch , a reminder of how far removed i am from the past , a distant charred memory , a garden ablaze , the bush burned beyond recognition , the daffodils totally and utterly scorched .

When i should slip away and go to rest in a sunny , more hopeful spring i’d rather be surrounded by my grandchildren and my successors generations ahead of me for now i know i was too young to have been witnessed

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Craving

Craving

I’ve never craved something so much as i had with you , every night going to sleep imagining these explicit images of us tangled up together under heavy and silky sheets dripping from the bones like an athlete or someone out of shape

I’ve never craved that physical euphoria like i did the emotional high of knowing that you picked someone like me to spend nights full of hearts racing and low voices .

I’ve never ever craved the act of making someone submit like you did with me but as someone who was told to be a natural born leader being the one who sits eagerly awaiting orders is a nice change of pace

I’ve NEVER craved the secrecy and horror of being your slave who beckons to your call and is beaten blind when i don’t respond to your orders in a satisfactory way

I have craved however , your affection and eyes

I’ve always wanted for you to see me

How i see you , the one above all

The one who calmed me down

The one who made me a better person

The one who i’d go to war over

The one .

But you never did

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Social Narcolepsy

No matter how strong you think you are

No matter how bold or brooding

There will always be something far greater

And it lurks around the corner waiting for you

Where ever it rears its ugly head

Where ever the snakes start to hiss

If ever your bed feels like a pit of nails

It’s because it’s watching you

There’ll always be more money

There’ll always be someone that owns you

Unless you do the right thing

And throw the first brick at their jagged teeth

When big brother stops watching

Thats when the rain will stop in glasgow

Needless to say it’s always approaching

And we’ll soon be buried under nuclear snow

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Bad luck betty

There was an earthquake on her birth

There was rain on her wedding

Thunder on the day she died

Snow on her funeral

Sunshine never showed

Breeze never blowed

Cold when it was warm

Warm when it was cold

She never was comfortable

Any time i saw her

Parties and functions

Aint her kinda thing

She ain’t so lucky

Bad luck betty was Hung out to dry

With the wolves and the vultures

Feasting on her eyes

There was a cyclone on her memorial

A typhoon when she laughed

Sunshine and rainbows

Only came when she cried

She was mistreated

There’s no denying

But the clowns came marchin’

While she lay dyin’

She ain’t so lucky

Bad luck betty was hung out to dry

With the wolves and the vultures

Feasting on her eyes

There was an earthquake on her birth

Rain on her wedding

Thunder on the day she died

Snow on her funeral

A cyclone when you say her name

Typhoons if she laughed

No sunshine for betty

While she’s hung out to die

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Snow on the hills

There was snow on the hills where i buried you

It was silent , your laughter stopped ringing out

Do you still believe what i did was mercy ?

Each day i stop having faith that i’m still here

I strangled that last hope you had

Blew out a candle that begged to melt

I replaced it with fuzzy promises

Greener pastures never made fatter calfs

I’ll sing a little hymn and i’ll say a little prayer

It means nothing to me but its everything to you

I’ll send you the best

I’ll send you the best of me

I’ll make it up to you tonight

We can see things you always wanted to see

Through my eyes in your head

You’re not dead to me you’re just resting

I can’t dampen you forever

You’ll always be a part of me

Wether i like it or not

You are in my soul

I’ll sing a little hymn and i’ll say a little prayer

It means nothing to me but its everything to you

I’ll send you the best

I’ll send you the best of me