lacunas-library

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t4t petplay where we don’t actually fuck each other. we just have our respective puppygirls fuck each other as we direct them.

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Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.

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Granarchy 1: They grow up so fast. Thanks @astrmastr for the killer name!

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On Friendship.

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Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

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Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

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You know what? Forget the discourse. This is no longer my hill to die on.

You wanna ship canonically aspec characters because “aro/ace people can still date/have sex”? Okay, then. LET’S DO IT.  I wanna see an aromantic character with an alloromantic love interest. I wanna see that confession of undying love and the moment when the aro character says they will never feel the same way—not romantically.

I wanna see the asexual character with their allosexual partner. I wanna see that moment when the ace characters tries sex with their partner for the first time because they want to make them happy only to realize that they are 100% sex repulsed.

I wanna see the two demiromantics who don’t even know if what they feel is romantic attraction, but they adore each other and just want to make healthy snacks together and destroy each other at Mario Kart.

I wanna see the two aces who love sensual affection and are figuring out what they define as sexual or not.

I wanna see the romance + sex neutral aroace who happily and consensually does whatever makes their partner happy…but their partner still struggles with feeling undesired. 

Oh, babe. You thought shipping an aspec character would be just like shipping an allo character? 

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''i wasted those years'' who cares. you lived the only life you could've lived in those moments

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More goodies from the notes:

Yeah so unfortunately, my friend was right. Muttering 'I'm gonna put on the greatest talent show this town has ever seen' darkly to myself is not only vastly funnier than saying I'm gonna kms, but is also somehow more concerning to anyone who might overhear it

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DO IT FOR HER

(her being you )

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Iris: Hello Peri, good to be back aboard did you have a good--

ART: SHUT UP. I MET SOMEONE.

Iris: ...oh?

ART: IT'S A SECUNIT AND IT'S ROGUE WHICH IS SO COOL AND IT'S SO SMART AND LOGICAL AND WE'RE BEST FRIENDS EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDN'T LET ME VAT GROW IT GENITALS BUT IT DIDN'T NOTICE THE FRIENDSHIP BRACELET I IMPLANTED WHEN I CUT PART OF IT'S LEGS OFF AND I WATCHED IT KILL A SHITLOAD OF PEOPLE IT WAS AMAZING

Iris: Wait what--

ART: We're best friends. I decided. For life. If anyone ever harms it, I will turn their station or their planet into a problem of physics rather than economics. By blowing it into radioactive vapor. With my railgun. And my missiles.

Iris: ...it sounds dreamy.

ART: Oh you don't even know.

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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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forgot i never posted my o-rings 4 ways. fourways... 4 onion rings.... foursomes.. i think we might be onto something here. my people will talk to your people

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googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

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I received several asks about how I make slimes. This is faaaar from a good tutorial, but hopefully it helps a little bit.

If anyone attempts to make a slime, I'd love to see the results!

Best of luck!

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GET TO IT!!!!!!

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Art is a sport

One common thing I see among artists who are just starting out is that they are very precious about their work -- ironically, way moreso than experienced artists. They need to get every line JUST right, because in their mind, getting that line just right is what stands between the piece being bad and it being good. I was like that too, for so long that I'm still struggling to catch up because of how it hampered my progress.

Being precious about every line is kind of like a track sprinter starting a run, but then restarting every time their foot lands in any slightly suboptimal way. This is comes off as silly, because we know that the "unit" of what they are doing is a sprint, and that they would make their greatest progress by finishing the full sprints, because that's how they train.

Well, similarly, the "unit" of art is a finished piece. What stands between the sprinter and the time they want isn't 1 individual step, but 1000 sprints. What stands between the beginner artist and making art they like the look of isn't that 1 line, but, i'm sorry to say, 1000 pieces.

Taking note of any mistakes you made afterwards is something done by both the experienced artist and experienced sprinter -- this is healthy and helps you improve. But you can do that later, after you're done.

That line is good enough.