laidirss

[laidirss]

danger

[laidirss]

“Nearly. Almost. What could’ve been. Like tiny daggers below my skin.”

— Beau Taplin // T i n y  D a g g e r s (via afadthatlastsforever)

[laidirss]

[laidirss]

(trying to give relationship advice) from a narrative perspective i think both of you dying together would be the most emotionally satisfying resolution but i’m guessing that’s not what you want to hear

[laidirss]

im doomed by the narrative but the narrative is a bunch of conscious choices i've made in the past

[laidirss]

thinkin about the chosen one story told from the pov of the person standing next to them again. thinkin about the one who has to stand by and watch the chosen one become a weapon, a sacrifice, an offering to the machinations of plot and can do nothing but make sure they’re fed and rested and soothe them when they wake up screaming from nightmares. thinkin about the fierce devotion that has to exist to follow someone to the end of the world just so they don’t have to die alone. thinkin about the terror they’d feel every step of the journey knowing it’s not their place to change how the story plays out. thinkin thinkin thinkin.

[laidirss]

doomed by the narrative but not to death. doomed to survive. doomed to stay alive inside the story. doomed to never escape the narrative, not even through death. you are allowed no exit. there is no way out for you and there never was. you couldn’t die if you wanted to. the narrative has a hold on you and it won’t let go. death is too sweet a doom for you. the story has something much worse in mind. there is no way out.

[laidirss]

i’m free on thursday if you wanna start a toxic codependent thing

[laidirss]

today im thinking about my many many desires. no i wont be communicating them you stupud fuckinggggg idiot

[laidirss]

honestly what the hell are you supposed to do. is my question

[laidirss]

basically i always knew that in the end no one was coming to save me. sooooooo yeah

[laidirss]

do you guys also have the urge to kill yourselves if you're not good at something on the first try or are you normal

[laidirss]

Ingeborg Bachmann, from "Eyes to Wonder" in Three Paths to the Lake

[laidirss]

original writing / do not repost

[laidirss]

ive got some grief stuck in my ribs yes

[laidirss]

you can go back to the past but nobody’s there

[laidirss]