laitcc

[laitcc]

Nodus Tollens

When I close my eyes tightly enough,

I picture building blue

Castles I can only dream of.

There, I hold onto hopes

Tucked away

In sheets of silk paper

And dance to the last song left within me.

I contemplate

On the pages that I pour

My Blood,

Sweat,

And tears into,

Then I ask myself—

Should I pray?

Or should I go back to dreaming

Of building blue castles mid-air?

Should I go back to weeping on the flight

To nowhere near home;

The home that I do not remember?

I fear I’ll never escape Wonderland,

Remaining stuck in limbo—

Fighting to accept this grief.

So, frozen I’ll stay in daydreams,

Swallowing half-truths

With my eyes

Closed tightly.

[laitcc]

Spoon Theory

Nine

Spoons

Of

Saccharine

Dust

Lined

Up

In

Front

Of

My

| Face |

Today

With

My

Spoons

Full

Of

Saccharine

Dust

One

By

One

They

Go

Filling

My

Belly

With

Saccharine

Dust

Tiring

Out

Little

By

Little

I

Skip

Through

The

Day

To

The

Beat

Of

Nine

Spoons

Full

Of

Saccharine

Dust

[laitcc]

Organic

Still, his name

Rolls off my tongue

Like a blest secret

I keep alive.

The perfectly arranged

Letters

Drip down my lips

Like sweet

Organic honey..

I lick

Up and swallow

Them whole.

Then I go

Back for more,

Crawling on all fours

To his door.

[laitcc]

Seven

A day

Of rest

Greets

My cheek,

Sighing whispers

Of promises

And hope.

[laitcc]

Reflection

The way he looked at me made me feel

Like I was finally, truly,

Seen.

But sometimes even mirrors get too close

For comfort.

Everyone says i’m beautiful,

And that i’m this and that,

This and that—

But to be quite frank I don’t see

Much beauty past my shell.

Even that will fade,

And all that will be left in the end

Is a monster.

I often wonder how I got here,

I’ve lived my whole life only surviving.

Each day brings a challenge

Just simply existing.

And Im so,

So,

Tired.

-I’m so, Tired.

[laitcc]

Mosaic

I wish to make a mosaic out of a hundred

Pretty glass plates with you.

We can go thrift shopping to pick out

The best looking ones

And garner all the colours

Of ceramic, annealed, and tempered

Forms.

We can put on our gear, tune

Into our favorite radio channel,

Connect a cell to a device,

Or send off the record platter and fracture

All the sheets of glass we scored.

We can put all the little pieces together and grace

Them with glue.

We can make a mosaic out of a hundred

Glass plates anew.

[laitcc]

Accursed

My soul carries

Generational curses as if it has a sour

Sack of potatoes stuck on its back.

It didnt start after this, or after that—

It started when I was born.

My fate has been written before time,

I am lost at sea,

Drowning in the riptides that relentlessly pull,

Sweep, pull,

Sweep.

There are straws that I grab at,

But I have no real control over my body—

For it was never mine.

The Adversary himself has raped me in my sleep,

Turning sleep paralysis into child’s play.

I feel torn and rotten to the core,

Even my purpose feels empty some hours.

-Its hard to put up this fight.

[laitcc]

Summer Fling

I remember that summer

It was just you and I,

I loved your dark black hair

And daring eyes.

They looked at me like they were scared

To find what was inside,

Like you knew you would eventually die.

We spent the night and talked about God

In your sheets and made love until the sunlight

Showed her caring face.

So, tell me darling,

Do you regret blowing me off?

-I still think about you.

[laitcc]

Fortuitous Parting

Everything we touch

burns,

Like the sun we are

One,

One everyone else cannot touch.

They touch,

They burn.

We touch,

We yearn.

[laitcc]

[laitcc]

Belonging

It’s like we try to transpose light

Into something not right,

So we seek to gather all that may

Be in the lane on this lonely, lovely

Road we travel.

There aren’t many stars in the sky.

This city is too crowded, so we venture

Somewhere higher,

You steer while far,

Far away from the wheel-

I see the impalpable map.

At times I’m clueless

As to what we convey

Yet I know there is meaning,

In this certain something.

We’re a match made in heaven

And its like the angels

Are on our line leading, guiding—

Holding the torch of our flame.

Or, or,

I’m just crazy and you’re insane.

Either way i’m yours.

Either way i’m yours.

[laitcc]

Symphytum Officinale

Dainty

Garden weeds aide

Rise and bow, offer some

Food to the little fauna, kind

Lovely

Natural nature comfrey clump

Pinky-purple lay bell-

Shaped in the months

Of bloom

[laitcc]

Movement

My soul is grounds for none other than others,

Each grabbing at my edges,

Pulling, pulling, pulling.

I am here,

But really, I am everywhere.

I rest in the palms of thousands

Of hands—

All of those who I have touched,

And anyone they have ever touched.

I wonder,

Where does the entrance begin and

End?

The ride has an infinite wait,

I suppose.

I want to bathe in oil,

Replenish what might be left

Of just, me—

Where I am,

Me.

[laitcc]

Elegance

Reprieve

Meek, my balance.

Graceful, hushed comfort.

He is all those and more too.

Second

Reset.

The protector of my mind, true

Wish to go back, mend all,

Turn back.

[laitcc]

Limerence

You were meant for mine,

Take

My heart

Its yours to

Pine.

[laitcc]

Crossroads

Left foot in front of the other, I stride~

The lines on the ground are no longer

Blurry and I could almost…

Die.

But do I?

Perhaps yes.

Just not in the time

Or way you think so,

For I hath already died a death in a River

When I was 8 years old.

Water rushed through my hair,

The large Rock under my feet

Cradled my toes,

And I was right where I

Always

Belonged.

-Free.

[laitcc]

Headspace

And that's how it happens,

The emotions—

They take over,

Claim their reserved seats in my mind and body,

Hands rise,

Fingertips set forth,

And words spill out.

This is my happy place,

Where my heart races,

And emotions possess me.

-This is where I belong.