lazilysuperkryptonite

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You and three friends break into a highly classified government facility at 3:17 AM on Thursday and leave with two anti-gravity prototypes, a weather control drone, and a suspiciously polite alien named Greg.

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I follow this lady on instagram who rescues cats, and i have been thinking about this video for literal months. behold the transformation of this wretched little beast

(x)

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“Son, I think it’s time for you to know that when you turn 18 an albino gorilla will come and beat you senseless. I don’t know why but it happened to me, it happened to my father, my grandfather, and his father as well. Nothing you can do about it, so don’t make any plans until afterwards.”

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Love the universe need of all babies human and animal to just lay on adults

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This scene is so funny, cause there’s so much going on

“They want my dog!”

“THERE’S NO NEED TO ALART THE AUTHORITIES!!-“ *steals the phone* “everything’s under control. 😊”

Meanwhile jumba is having a whole car thrown at him in the background.

“Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw.” Said with the kinda exasperation no child should have 😭

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In depth Lilo & Stitch headcanon about public perception of the aliens:

Kokaua Town is aware there's Something going on with Jumba, Pleakley, and the experiments. Not aware that they're aliens yet, but some of these weird dogs speak like people! (Reuben, Slick, Heckler, Nosy).

Due to Jumba's... public Jumba-ness... people might have pieced together the whole "illegal genetic experiment" thing. Like, oh yeah, this weird man definitely did some illegal shit with animal genes. Maybe they think he's hiding out from the law and that's why he moved in with the Pelekais so quickly.

Nosy goes "they're aliens!" to the Jamesons, and the Jamesons probably end up thinking that Nosy meant illegal aliens- as in, people who immigrated illegally, and in this case for Jumba to hide from the law in his home country. Which is obviously Russia, based on his accent.

Maybe the moms in the PTA look at Pleakley with pity because it can't be easy having to uproot your entire life to move to another country because your husband is on the run from the law. Her weird mannerisms and confusion about everything? "Oh, she's just foreign."

Pleakley's gone out in public in male outfits sometimes, disguised as a human man. In the Christmas episode, he even goes out without a wig. So she's definitely visibly queer. But I doubt anyone brings it up. There might be some gossip behind her back, but to her face, everyone treats her as whatever gender she's going as today.

If Pleakley ever slips up and refers to Jumba as her roommate instead of her husband, well, of course they're not legally married. Gay marriage isn't legal in Russia, and it wasn't legal in Hawaii until 2013, about a decade after the series takes place. And Pleakley is visibly queer. So... yeah, makes sense.

The Pelekais are native Hawaiian, so it's clear Jumba and Pleakley aren't biologically related to them. Due to Stitch's obvious status as one of the experiments, however, it's generally assumed the two met the Pelekais through Lilo's genetically modified dog being Jumba's creation. Which is true, except Stitch isn't actually a modified dog, and Jumba isn't actually a Russian immigrant.

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The animal shelter announces they are switching things up and letting the pets choose their humans. Your friends got cats and dogs. Your niece got a hamster. What arrived at your doorstep was a bit unconventional.

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Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it

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In a deal with a fae, you must give up something you hold dear. Whether it be your name, your first born, or something else, it must be held dear. You, gave up your addiction. It worked.

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Canon Ferb's thinly veiled penchant for violence is like my favourite thing.

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The best way I can describe to an allo person how you feel about sex as a topic as a sex-repulsed or averse asexual is that it feels like a hype that never ends. As though Despicable Me came out and everyone around you was sending minion facebook memes to each other for years to come. The stores are full of minion themed products; they're in ads and your friends talk about them all the time. And deep in your heart you're like "I'm glad that they're able to enjoy something I personally don't like and am not interested in :3". But there is always this little voice in the back of your head that's like "If I have to see ONE MORE of these little yellow FUCKERS today then God help us all." You make an active choice to communicate only the former.