lazulii1

[lazulii1]

Silver spring

mammon x reader

a reminder of art in a good slow burn!! (a/n this is inspired from the released news of the new obey me app )

word count 2.8k

they said demons are incapable of true love which could be true for some being in devildom but for mammon this couldn’t be farther from the truth it’s been a inescapable outcome that he has known about but tucked far into the back of his head for a while now his love for y/n for him coming to the undeniable truth that his love for her is growing immensely stronger day by day is a understatement

Y/n pov

I first began noticing how things would change in small ways some would describe as meaningless which is the complete opposite of what I would call it, the way his hand would linger on mine for a second longer, or the way he has begun to look at me something in his eyes had told me things were beginning to change, or the way my name would roll off his tongue in such a tone so differently from how it had when I had first arrived in devildom

He must have not realized how much more I had began to pay attention to these little things.

or maybe he did. Maybe he wanted me to take note of these small but significant changes in him there had just been something about the way he had hovered over me lately as well almost as if he had been in queue of something

I wasn’t exactly sure on when- or where-the air between us had changed

but it had at some point somehow more tense and overwhelming at times which was awkward at times at times it felt as if we were both longing to say something but we weren’t exactly ready to come to terms with it yet

but it was not something that really bothered me no, the possibility of him not loving me was not a thought I had even considered but what I had was that he did in fact love me but he was unsure of what to do with his feelings of love towards me

Some nights I stayed awake myself pondering why, which at a point I came to a silly idea that love was against some obnoxious rule he had written for himself long before meeting me

despite this we remained close. Closer than ever.

“ Whatcha thinkin’ so hard about this time, treasure”

his voice cut through my train of deep thought like the first note of a love song I was too scared to sing I blinked twice coming back to reality turning my body slowly toward him to see him propped up against my door frame with his arms crossed his look told me that he was trying to read my thoughts silently without asking

“Ya always get that same look when you’re lost in that pretty little head o’ yours,” he added, stepping closer. “Like you’ve seen a ghost… or maybe—”

“Maybe ya were just thinkin’ about yours truly.” he said with a grin only he could have

A light chuckle escaped my lips I quickly returned the smile “you know I was just thinking of you…” I paused slightly looking down for a quick second “ I feel as if every time I think of you it’s like you appear before me” I laughed again

He didn’t respond to me right away keeping his pose with his head tilted ever so slightly as if he were trying to memorize the rhythm of my laugh in that very moment

“Yeah? Guess that makes me kinda like a wish, huh?” he said, voice softer this time—less teasing, more something else. Something that sat between us for a beat too long.

after that not a single world was spoken between us however the silence was anything but empty our eyes playing tag with one another for what felt like forever the air between us felt fragile in that moment something that must not be named was lingering

That was enough for now anyways

the atmosphere changed heavily after this moment it felt like tense moment and silences became more prevalent between us of course it bothered me at times why couldn’t it just be said out loud what was ever so longing when would the slow burn end but I guess that’s the true nature of a slow burn a fire that never seems to quite die

days quickly conspiring into weeks continuing into months we never were apart long in this period which is to no surprise it seemed as though we would find errands to run together or even staying up late every other night which often resulted in him falling asleep in bed next to me. Other times when I would get him atleast out of my room and by that I meant at my doorframe at best before getting caught in a moment of hesitation with him his mouth wanting to say words that would never seem to actually make it out of his mouth

moments I’d catch his eyes on me when he was under the impression I wasn’t looking back others I returned the favor each and every time

one of the nights in devildom we had been in each other’s presence all day we found ourselves on a balcony with the most scenic view the devildom sky was painted in hues of deep violet, stars barely flickering in the distance like they were trying to whisper secrets to anyone who dared listen.

I myself was leaned up against the railing admiring the view for my own eyes when he leaned up against the railing himself beside me, his shoulder brushing mine I didn’t move I couldn’t bring myself to

For a while we had just stood there against the railing while I was admiring the view I was sure I was the one he was admiring instead. The silence was comfortable in a way but slightly charged I instantly picked up on his shift of breathing before the words left his mouth

“Y’ever think ‘bout what ya would’ve done if ya never came down here?”

the question took me for quite the surprise I turned my head to look at him his eyes looked almost restrained from looking back into mine I knew I still had his full attention though and that he was listening very closely

“I try not to” I admitted unknowing if that had been the answer he was looking for or not I batted my eyelashes “to me if I never came here it would have meant I wouldn’t have had the pleasure in meeting you”

I saw the way his jaw had tensed at my words, and oh how his fingers curled a little tighter around the railing than they had been before

he didn’t respond immediately waiting a few extra seconds “You say things like that so easy” he muttered lowly almost as if the words had slipped his tongue “Don’t ya know what that does to me?”

my heart skipped a beat I leaned in a little closer towards him “what does it do?”

his eyes then finally locked with mine and for a moment I could have swore he had no expression of pride it had all been lost in that moment it was just rawness.

“Makes me scared I’m gonna mess it all up”

I blinked unsure how to respond to him but then again not sure fully of what I was expecting him to say either

My fingertips touched his cheek slowly “you haven’t “ my expression was sympathetic in a way

He let out a soft huff of air—almost a laugh, but sadder. “I ain’t good at this kinda thing.”

My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

He shifted his weight, glancing away. “Y’know… carin’ this much. Feelin’ this much. It ain’t somethin’ I was ever supposed to do.”

I stayed silent

“I never caught myself thinkin about forever till I met you”

He then took my hand in his that I had touched his cheek with. there were so many words I was dying to say then I wanted to say but I couldn’t once again that silence—that pause—that’s where everything hung between us. the sky could’ve fallen, and we might not have noticed.

After that things seemed to become ridgid to me a never ending cycle of a man that utterly refused to proclaim his love for me I felt as though I had waited long enough I never stopped loving him of course I never distanced myself not once but I made the conscious decision in my head to come to the realization I needed to be seen and chosen

if mammon wasn’t willing to be the man to do that for me I must go find someone who would be willing to I came to a point of resentment of myself for settling for a man who was giving me limbo treatment

People don’t fall in love with limbo is what they say but of course I did how could he make me feel everything but nothing at the same time

I stared at my reflection the red dress fitting my body almost perfectly I then placed my hand on my chest for a slow exhale

As I was reaching for my zipper in the back I had gotten it caught of course I did what else would you expect from me I massaged my temples for a moment to breath

right then was it was almost as if it was a que for my door to open to reveal him standing there the quiet shift in the air happened again the pull I was way to used too.

“mammon, my zipper is caught would you mind helping me” I say softly without facing him no response but instead I heard his footsteps near me they were slow and reluctant

He looked at me in the mirror sternly before moving my hair with his fingertips gently sending a quick shiver down my back “you look very good “ he said as he took hold on the zipper I smiled at his words his compliments still meant everything to me

You goin’ somewhere?” he asked, voice low, just above a whisper. I nodded, eyes fixed on the mirror in front of me. “Just out for a bit.” I responded hesitantly

“With who?”

There it was — the crack in his voice. Subtle. But sharp enough to make me flinch.

I met his eyes in the mirror. mine softened His brows were furrowed, lips pressed into something close to a grimace. Like he was already regretting asking. I shook my head slowly “it’s no one you know “

his jaw then tensed up at my words and his touch changed almost instantly the zipper went up half way before stopping abruptly he then placed his free hand on my shoulder I turned to look just enough to see his hand but careful not to meet his gaze

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he muttered. suddenly I then turned to face him with my dress now only zipped up half my spine “what would I have said to you”

“you never even gave me a reason to” I said harshly the air instantaneously turned dense wrapping around my throat making it hard to breathe I was somewhat taken aback by myself for finally speaking up to mammon

His gaze dropped to the floor his hands still not moving “Are you seein’ someone?” he asked again, this time quieter. More broken.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. The silence said enough. As it always seemed to

He stepped back like I had slapped him or offended him somehow And then — almost like he’d been struck by something invisible — Mammon cursed under his breath and closed the space between us in two long strides. His hands trembled at his sides like they didn’t know what to reach for first — me or the door

“I can’t let you leave like this,” he said, voice thick. “Not without tellin’ you.”

“Telling me what?” I said astonished

He swallowed hard. His eyes looked frantic, wild. Unfiltered emotion rising to the surface like boiling water spilling from the pot.

“That if I don’t say it now, I’ll never forgive myself.”

I froze. Unsure of his words

“If I let you walk away tonight,” he continued, each word rougher than the last, “without tellin’ you what I feel, I’m gonna be haunted. Not by what we could’ve been — but by the sound of the woman who loved me walkin’ out the door… not knowin’ I loved her back.”

Time stopped In that moment

He was shaking now. Not a lot. But enough for me to catch on too I myself almost started shaking

“I love you” he declared showing raw emotion that had built up I’ve loved you longer than I’ve let myself admit. And I’ve been scared. So damn scared. Cause lovin’ you feels too immense for me like I don’t deserve ya”

I feel as though I could faint in this very spot. My breath had finally caught my chest physically ached

He looked down, then slowly reached for my hand - now trembling in his

And then, just like that… he dropped to one knee.

Right there.

No hesitation. No ring. Just Mammon, heart stripped bare.

“I didn’t plan this,” he said, voice hoarse, “but I can’t waste another second pretendin’ I don’t want forever with you. So I’m askin’ — right now — before you walk out that door…”

He cleared his throat

“Will you marry me?”

My vision blurred with tears.

“I don’t got a fancy speech or nothin’. Just this heart that won’t stop beatin’ for you. So say yes. Please. Say yes, and I swear I’ll never let you feel unloved for a single day in your life.”

Silence. you could hear a pen drop

The kind of silence that feels holy. Sacred.

And in that silence, I realized something:

He wasn’t just asking me to stay.

He was asking me to choose him — in all his chaos, in all his fear — because for the first time, he was finally choosing me out loud.

I took one last look at him on his knee I was in the verge of a sob or a scream I had never seen him look so vulnerable before

I wasn’t even aware of the hot tears streaming down my face until one of them had hit my collar bone

His hand was still in mine aching for a answer

His eyes not pleading me not desperate but they were honest. The eyes of a man I had been looking for my whole life

I then knelt down toward him my zipper still half way but I didn’t care my hands found his face I cupped him gently “yes- yes - YES” what had started out as a response just above a whisper became so loud I was sure everyone must have heard

I then heard his lovely laugh he embraced me and I clung to him like I had been waiting a lifetime

Because I had