lazyreadingbythepool

[lazyreadingbythepool]

Watch "Pacha Tati - As Rosas Não Falam" on YouTube

[lazyreadingbythepool]

In the laundry 

Script by 

 L.Romanova 

    / Active persons 1.Mr.Smith, 2. Owner of the laundry, 3. Client,4.Client2.

  The  owner of the laundry.

    - Hello, Mr. Smith, that you brought   today? The last set of your socks?   Mr Smith: -Yes, please, and my ties too, I want to reanimate them slightly.     Owner :-Mr. Smith, you are our VIP client, the proud of our laundry.  When you  will marry finally, the wife will wash you regularly.

Mr.Smith:-Oh, darling,  I am a free eagle in flight and it is difficult  to catch me in the trap of marriage. And why do I need a wife? I have a slowcoooker!

 Client1.- This man really  smells like a cheese.

 Client 2.-And what are you surprised? All old bachelors smell like this. This is the smell of mold.

Mr.Smith -. I apologize, do not forget that Penicillin-is savior of mankind was created from  the mold as well! 

Client2. Still, very caustic stench, in my opinion, these are your socks.

Mr.Smith . - Oh, it is not because of the socks! I just had at the exhibition-tasting of cheeses and wines. Here I took a piece of cheese for dinner. It is lay in the most prominent place, and the sock used as a package. Local Food Hall organized an exhibition in Town Hall.Do you know crackers, a glass of wine, assorted cheeses and other delicacies. O, Heaven! I had a good launch and all this for free!

Client2-. Yes, we-Brits, we love bargain.

Mr.Smith -You know, I sometimes work as a freelancer in MEN news and on the way here made a sketch of today's article. Listen! 

   "Today in Town Hall,was organized an exhibition" Vintage Wines and Retro Cheeses ". Exhibits were provided by the leading European luxury brands  in the field of winemaking and cheese producing. We are all proud that the event organizers chose exactly our city. Town Hall is ideal for this noble goal. All these medieval stone carvings are created by an amazing interior for a secular event of international importance. In recent years, colossal work has been taken on the selection of odors and tastes As a result, a new cheese" French kiss "was developed and introduced into production, a new triumph in the food industry. He-he! We understand the patriotism and the Gallian humor of the French, when they came up with such a name" French kiss ". 

Client1:. - This "kiss" smells like a nonwashed-crotch. 

Owner:-. O,sorry, this smell is from here,a delivery of a local nursing home. 

 Don't  interrupt! Please, Mr. Smith, we all listen to you carefully.

 Mr.Smith:....OK," Vintage Wines and retro cheeses are a secular event for a local beaumont. Cheese "French Kiss" was the last development of technologists and released as a "Limited Edition"  in a single copy at the moment, and recently received a reward in the "The most smelly cheeses of France".

Client 1:.- So what, you,stole the  only article from the exhibition!?

Mr.Smith:-..Oh,no one even noticed, but when I carried it out of the..Hall ,everyone breathed a sign of relief.a masterpiece of the elegant and luxury products. And as the final accord of the show was served  Swiss garlic soup in elegant glasses, which gave the festive atmosphere to the whole event.

  Client 1: - I love French onion soup!

  Client 2.- Tell me, and they have a discount for cheeses, 50% preferably?

Owner :- Products of luxury brands is not recommended to lower in price, it undermines the company's image.

Mr.Smith :-. God forbid!!! Luxury goods and even more , renomed cheeses, no shelf life than they are older, the better smell. They are covered by noble patina so to speak.

Client 2:. - Yes, they are just rotten !!

Owner :. - With you it is  so nice to communicate, I always recognize something new for myself.

Client 1:. -All aristocrats in 3rd generation adore sustained drinks and piquancy. It's their main food.They are all sofisticated gourmet society. 

Client 2.-Yes? I am not surprised that they all develop a hereditary gout with age.

Owner :. - It's just a commercial trick to sell stail goods.  

Client 2:.-To-another post Christmas campaign of a rotten food discount. I am not surprised, our marketers know how to make a 🍬 candy from shit. They are always looking for new ideas….

/ to be continued…😎/

[lazyreadingbythepool]

part 2, "In the Laundry"

....I agree with you, they are always looking for fresh flavors and old recipes to please customers.  This is a brilliant business decision.  Pregnant wife

 - client 2 / 

-Darling, I feel seek, help me sit down.  /pat  her husband's head/ - You are so attentive, you smell of care, bitter caramel and patchouli.  The scent of a beloved man. 

 Husband-And you, my baby, smell of comfort and home warmth, like my mother.  When I was a child, I put my head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat.  I want to live here forever.  /lays his head on her stomach/.  The owner of the laundry - In my opinion, it would be easier to throw it all in the trash, the homeless will pick it up in the evening. 

 Husband-Or could take people in need to the Food bank..

.Mr.Smith-A why spoil them?  They are already well stocked by bakeries and restaurants.  Throwing away edible food is a big sin, it's better to arrange a tasting for VIP clients.  They will appreciate all these sensual pleasures....

…/a bum walks in and listens to the conversation.  Tall, attractive, sexually irresistible, with a red bow tie/.

..The owner-Oh, a new client, where did you come from?

  ..-I live in a local colony of the homeless. 

 - Your name?  

-Stephen. 

 -your address?

  -Victoria bridge, I mean "under the bridge".  Came to freshen up my spring wardrobe, get ready for next season.

  -Owner - Maybe we can wash your socks too?  When did you wash them for the last time?.

.-When my ex gave them to me, 3 years ago.  I had a better address then.  Once my ex told me: “You are my precious alcoholic, until you find a job, don’t come home.  The husband must support the family, but for now I feed you and your dogs alone.”... -Yes, my moral values ​​ are simply alien to her!  !!..

 -So you are unemployed now?

...-No, I'm self-employed.  I left and created the vocal group "Legal Alcoholics", the Market's workplace is standing, / shows a photo, he and 2 dogs in Hemingway sweaters.  / 

... Owner-Ooh, with Hemingway's sweater!  There was also an unforgettable Alcoholic …

 Stefan- You know, since I became a famous businessman in the field of entertainment, my ex insistently calls me home, but I do not want to share my popularity with her….Tell me,  has my vintage Burbury Macintosh been washed yet? 

 ..Husband- See how our low social strata are dressed by famous designers!.

.Stefan- Tell me, when can we visit the exhibition?  I will invite all my homeless friends and friends of my friends.  We lack cultural events in this city …

 Husband - Here, meet the worthy people of our city - the whole beau monde and boms people are hanging out in a decent company .

.. Owner..

 - What's wrong with that?  We have democracy and this will be a historical merger of all social classes in today's world... 

   Mr.Smith-Friends, the exhibition officially opens tomorrow.  So…

/all together/..Welcome to the world of luxury!!

[lazyreadingbythepool]

Christmas Prayer of the  blogger.🎄🎆🎁

     Dear Santa Claus 🎅, in the year of the Black Rabbit, send prosperity and happiness to the whole planet and all my relatives and friends with your generous hand.

   Personally, please send me a starfall of likes and a strong Guardian Angel with broad, reliable shoulders and DIY skills. I want him  to protect me, that woman who unselfishly entertains the entire Internet.  I'm so tired of being a strong woman in a world of weak men.  Save me from premature wrinkles and extra pounds. 

  So be it!

 Amen.🎉🎊

[lazyreadingbythepool]

My fan

written by L.Romanova 

  He hit me on the head with his verses for 3weeks, every day! And then he suddenly disappeared, as if he had sunk into the water. I even began to worry that the number of my fans was decreasing.

    I reread all his poems and even fell in love 🥰 with them, but I am concerned about his silence. Where are you? I miss your virtual bouquet 💐 😢 and a cup of ☕ coffee in the morning. Come back to my world again. I am waiting for you, my kewpie. 

[lazyreadingbythepool]

[lazyreadingbythepool]

    The ladybird

by Mila Romanova 

    On my terrace there is a deep pot in which I collect rain water, it stands there for a long time.With this stuff I water the flowers from which they grow surprisingly well. A few days ago I glanced at it and saw a sinking ladybird. At first I twatched 👀 it as it struggled and decided to help. I went to the kitchen and brought a bamboo kebab stick. I gave the ladybird this stick, it grasped it and I took it out of the abyss of the pot to fresh air and clean place. 

   At first the bug didn't move at all, I thought that it could not yet believe that it was saved and did not let this saving pole out of the paws, literally, as in the proverb " a drawing man sticks by a straw ".

   The little bug began to drag its body and wings, gracefully, spread the wings,spun in the place, so that the drops of moisture flowed down from it and evaporated. It straightened its lover transparent wings and folded like origami several times. It was interesting to watch. 

   I wanted to move it to a more open place where you can accelerate and soar into the air from the aerodrome and gaining altitude on an the air wave to regain the happiness of the freedom and weightlessness. However, the insect thought differently, it completely ignored my wand,bypassed it and began quickly climb to the top of the 🪰 fly net. Fast and purposefully it crawled up as it hypnotized. I also looked up and there saw 👀 an extensive web 🕸 full of dead insects. Far away in the corner was a sharp-sighted spider 🕷, like a slave -owner carefully watching his plantation. It's round body shone with a ruby light,probably the spider was eating well. 

    It was a little tragedy. I don't want to describe all the details of the bug's death ,but, believe me, it was a cruel scene. 

   What a stupid creature 🙄, I thought. I saved It's life, gave it freedom and it choose to follow it's predetermined destiny. For several days I thought about this episode and made a philosophical conclusion. The fate can't be avoided, its recorded as a video tape and inserted into our bodies. What is written, there can't be prevented. The little bug could have been saved, but it chose to follow the will of the destiny. 

[lazyreadingbythepool]

[lazyreadingbythepool]

Mary-Antoinette,s pillow, part2

In antiquity, it was considered a sign of welfare to have feat pillows, feather and blankets in the house. However, they require special care. It is recommended to change them every 3-4 years for hygiene. The contents of the pillows can be of feathers, wool, silk, bamboo, synthetic fibers. When buying, choose synthetic or silk: they are most safe, because in feathers or wool can live moths, ticks,fungus and other God's creatures. Such pillows can cause irreparable harm to your health: allergies, respiratory diseases, skin diseases. Probably, the pharaohs did not know this, they slept on their favorite pillows and, if it became nursing, they are elegantly scrambled with a wand in the depths of their glamorous hairstyle. Diplomats of all ranks go to the country of their destination with their favorite pillows. They send them by diplomatic mail ,however if you try to go for visit and appear there with your own pillow, bedding and cutlery for hygiene, then be sure there you are no longer invited. Of course, your healthy and light lifestyle is very important to you. Imagine you buy a beautiful pillow, which will come to you from the exporter's country, successfully bypassing all obstacles and sanitary control. Now you, the lucky owner of the feather pillow, solemnly put your head on it and you will sleep with your" loggers " "cheek to cheek", with such is not very pleasant . You do not hear how they are soothing there, having arranged with you in a comfortable position before bedtime. Аnd be sure ,that all those insects in your pillow have more fulfilling sexual life than you in your comfortable bedroom. Reader, relax, everything will be fine! 😉 I also have a favorite pillow. I call it "Marie-Antoinette's pillow" for a beautiful drawing on the pillowcase.My Lords, eat more cakes!

[lazyreadingbythepool]

Marie- Antoinette's pillow 

written by L.Romanova.

  /a heartbreaking insect crime story with a happy prologue and an epilogue in 2 parts …😎/.

Part one.

    The most beloved object in the house is a pillow. The pillow is multifunctional. You can balance it on your head to improve your posture.You can sit,lie, sleep, play with children and kitties on it or even have sex on it.If you have a lot of pillows at home, then it is best to sleep on your favorite and then you will have the most beautiful dreams on it. 

  You can also even have pillow fights with them or hug them at night if you don't have a beloved one. You cry into a pillow and entrust it with your most intimate secrets. You can choke it in a fit of  rage and anger.  😡 You can bite it to relive unbearable pain and resentment.We hide our head under the pillow when we want to hide from the cruelties of the outside world. 

   You can embroider a pillow or tear it apart like an enemy. The scent of a pillow 😍 can fill you with the spirit of your beloved. Boasts about your beautiful  handmade pillows to your guests. Embroider an ideological slogan on your pillow. Put your feet on it when you watch TV or put it under your side to relive arthritis. On an airplane you can sleep in it and when you are depressed or your neighbors above irritate you, cover your head with it.Give your beloved a pillow as a birthday 🎂 gift 🎁. Use it to support your laptop, tablet or tray. Filled with fragrant herbs you can heal with it. If a guy abandons you when you are three months pregnant, you can slap him in the face with it.

   The pillow is a symbol of laziness and bliss 😊. In Turkish harems languid exotic girls reclined on pillows with the soultan, whilst he smoked hookahs. 🚬 The ancient pharaohs took pillows on their last journey to immortality. The pillow is very patient and withstands all the humiliations. 

   I got an interesting idea to tell you, what the pillow contains inside?Read on…

   Are you tired?Take a little break. 

  

    ….to be  continued 😎…..

[lazyreadingbythepool]

5 posts!

[lazyreadingbythepool]

My fan

written by L.Romanova 

  He hit me on the head with his verses for 3weeks, every day! And then he suddenly disappeared, as if he had sunk into the water. I even began to worry that the number of my fans was decreasing.

    I reread all his poems and even fell in love 🥰 with them, but I am concerned about his silence. Where are you? I miss your virtual bouquet 💐 😢 and a cup of ☕ coffee in the morning. Come back to my world again. I am waiting for you, my kewpie. 

[lazyreadingbythepool]

Marie- Antoinette's pillow 

written by L.Romanova.

  /a heartbreaking insect crime story with a happy prologue and an epilogue in 2 parts …😎/.=

    The most beloved object in the house is a pillow. The pillow is multifunctional. You can balance it on your head to improve your posture.You can sit,lie, sleep, play with children and kitties on it or even have sex on it.If you have a lot of pillows at home, then it is best to sleep on your favorite and then you will have the most beautiful dreams on it. 

  You can also even have pillow fights with them or hug them at night if you don't have a beloved one. You cry into a pillow and entrust it with your most intimate secrets. You can choke it in a fit of  rage and anger.  😡 You can bite it to relive unbearable pain and resentment.We hide our head under the pillow when we want to hide from the cruelties of the outside world. 

   You can embroider a pillow or tear it apart like an enemy. The scent of a pillow 😍 can fill you with the spirit of your beloved. Boasts about your beautiful  handmade pillows to your guests. Embroider an ideological slogan on your pillow. Put your feet on it when you watch TV or put it under your side to relive arthritis. On an airplane you can sleep in it and when you are depressed or your neighbors above irritate you, cover your head with it.Give your beloved a pillow as a birthday 🎂 gift 🎁. Use it to support your laptop, tablet or tray. Filled with fragrant herbs you can heal with it. If a guy abandons you when you are three months pregnant, you can slap him in the face with it.

   The pillow is a symbol of laziness and bliss 😊. In Turkish harems languid exotic girls reclined on pillows with the soultan, whilst he smoked hookahs. 🚬 The ancient pharaohs took pillows on their last journey to immortality. The pillow is very patient and withstands all the humiliations. 

   I got an interesting idea to tell you, what the pillow contains inside?Read on…

   Are you tired?Take a little break. 

  

    ….to be  continued 😎…..

[lazyreadingbythepool]

Welcome to Scotland

/written by L.Romanova/

Welcome to Scotland, to the country of unlimited opportunities, extensive areas with a rare population.

Scotland is a country of castles, granite mansions, ardebates, whiskey, fine fleeced sheeps 🐑, smoked salmon 😋 👌 and thistle.

You can use each type of transport. This is the country of endless lakes, where adorable dragons are found, including Nessie 🦖 and the free Scottish lords are walking through the streets in short skirts. 😁

[lazyreadingbythepool]

[lazyreadingbythepool]

How to create a royal look 👑

- the speech is smooth and quiet

- the chin is raised

- the gait is unhurried

- the aroma is extraordinary

- the gestures are stingy

- the posture is straight

- the smile is slightly

- the clothes are classic

- the look into the eyes 👀 of the interlocutor

- sleekness and relaxation in everything.