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We looked inside some of the posts by le2bludragon and here's what we found interesting.
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While i fall into a deep meditation. I dreamed i was holding a sword and a shield running through a sandstorm. Calling someone out in a language i didnt recognize. But i felt it was someone i cared about in a romantic way. Trying to get through the sandstorm i hear her voice and see her hiding behind under a rock. She shouts something at me and i looked up to see large glowing rocks falling from the clouds and smashing on the sand causing large explosions. She looked so scared and would move so i ran towards her with all my might, but i felt like i was running so slow. Dodging the large rocks while using my shield to block the smaller smaller rocks. I eventually reach her and kissed her while saying something sweet. I look around to see where the rocks are landing and planned out my route for the best chance. Shething my sword i began to rush towards the field while holding her hand. Several close calls with the rocks but eventally we came close to the other sids. Thats when i turned and saw a large one come at us with no time to get out in time. So i ran and hug her as tight as i can and in that brief moment i felt at piece. Her soft body and the lovely scent. I wanted to hold on to every moment. And i whisper to for her to live and threw her with all my might as far as i could.... i felt her leaving me, but i knew it was for the best and thats when i smiled when i lost contact of her. I woke up laying on the floor covered in sweat and my body felt so tired. What and odd thing to dream about
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I dont think its true. Having power doesnt mean happiness if it means caring less. when i really care about someone special... i do it by showing the actions without speaking about it as well as giving my time and enjoy being around her. If she does the same it forms a system that creates a foundation of stability and branches off from there. Sure ghere may be ups and downs but as long as both parties are willing to work on it than it can only grow from there.
Its all about the right communication with both parties to make it really work. Sure there are topics that are too embarising to say but being able to say those deep feelings is a special type of trust. Making it even more special. I cant look beyond of what is spoken to me. I usually take it face value. To know the deeper parts people just tell me.
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After doing some digging i didnt realized i was seen as an enemy. The more i connected the dots the more it made sense. The deeper i dig the more i saw how far it spread. So i just had to take myself out. Sometimes, things dont work out and thats all part of life. Theres alot of challenges i have overcome thats occuping me and im close to figuing out. One leads me to scandinavia. I would love to visit and visit their museums and exprense their culture.
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Woot woot. I pass for an internship for a job. Though, its in Georgia... im going to visit in the fall to see how things are before i make the desision. Kinda nervous... kinda excited. Hope it works out for me.
It was interesting how my friend was able to figure me out with just a nice deep hug. That somethings off with me. Although im sad at myself. It was my own fault and i blinded myself only seeing things i wanted to see. And not what it is... i shouldnt get in the way and let it ruin the way she wants it to be. When my heart is ready ill open it up bigger and so full of life. The universe is a big place and ill find one bright star in the sea of stars thats just right.
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I guess why i was so distracted today. I knew that once i said it. I knew things would change and i accidently spilled the feels beans and it didnt turn so well. So i started to really listen to what was said thats when i knew it was real. The best thing to do is let things be, just let go and move on searching for my own peace.
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Im not sure what came over me. I didnt think she enjoyed sitting next to me like that. I thought i was invading her space but when she asked me to stay i didnt move. The way she was leaning on me always staring into my eyes. Made me blush. I felt like a fool but i guess she likes it or didnt care. Hmmm idk.. im starting to like spending time with her. I shouldnt jump the gun and see where this leads.
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When i find my future girlfriend. i would love to be the reason why i give their heart peace just like how theyll give mine. That, even in crowded rooms when people are looking at us... we'll be too busy looking at each other.
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After all these years i refused to let go to the point of waiting for years sitting at the same table by the window just waiting. For that sweet eyes to appear again but eventually my thoughts began to poision the ideas and i turned into something i wasnt proud of and i had to let go becuase my love wasnt accepted like the way i wanted it to. But i still charish those memories of what i had and lost. With no ill will just knowing i got to experience those moments is good enough for me. I dont get to keep alot of memories so i rather keep it the way it was. I still wonder whats she is up to after all those years with positive thoughts. But not dwell too much on it. The future is now so i need to create a good one.
To move on isnt forgetting but accepting for what I did and come to terms with the end.
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They did have a point if it was all planned and i was in the center of it then it only showed how ugly and twisted they really are and it just made me sick to my stomach. whats worst is that they think theyre right.. to save the headache I rather that i dont associate with them. Ive seen so many of these things that i know how it plays out. So its best that i cut myself. It bothers me with the manipulation and trying to use triggers to access my feelings. Turning me into some kind of puppet. Honestly if i wasnt examing the world around me and the help of my friends i wouldnt have caught it as fast.
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Ive learned a long time ago to never wait for the perfect moment. Beciase theres no such thing. I have to live in the moment which creates a unique moment on its own.
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I looked deep withing her eyes and saw something i havent seen in a long time. As she looked into mine it felt like everything around us disapeared. We didnt have to thing much of the world around us. Although everyone was staring with whispers going around we didnt care. Just continued to stare. When the music turned on i stared to slow dance with her without missing a beat. I wasnt expecting to dance at all nor do i remember how to. We having such a good time i didnt know what to expect. Something about her was quite toxicating. I couldnt stop staring into her eyes and her lips. Eventually as we were talking we were both slowly leaning in. Pulling her even closer without realizing it. Then the fire alarm went off which snapped me out of it. I grabbed her hand and tried to make our way out of the building. But we got spearated due to the chaos and the crowded... i didnt give her my name nore did i take off my mask. Damn.... i cant believe i forgot to ask... im hoping to find her with what she told me so far.
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It was odd.. whatever happen the last several days really did alter my feelings for sword girl.... i should of felt some kinda jealousy but i didnt feel anything i just wanted to do something else. Maybe my feelings are falling away from her. I guess it took its course and its nearing its end which is normal. I did all i could for what i had to work with and im super glad i gaved it my all.
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Usually, i see change when the pain is too mich to bare. Thats when im force to do something about it. I gotta get used to change before i feel the pain. Darn is it hard. To create the change i want i must change the direction i need to go. Some roads are just too rough to go thru. I know theres a path out there thatll fit me.
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In order to acheve the right results. i have to do it on my own, but now i know if help is avalible to further my goals it doesnt make it any less. Take control of my own life and do something more than myself.
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What a scary dream. As i was meditating i began to dream i was in a hospital hall way. Slowly floating around going into a room. In there i saw a girl that looks so familar. She was laying on her bed with her knees to her face. When i sat beside her she looked at me with tears of joy. Saying she was so happy to see me. She constantly kept appologizing to me saying it wasnt her fault it was theirs. She kept saying she was so happy i came back. I wish i knew what she met. Whatever happen broke her and brought her hear to this place. Then she mentioned about figures behind her. And the whole room was covered in writings written in blood. She tried to attack me with a needle but i jump out of the way while kicking her hand with the needle away from her.
I landed in outside of her room and i noticed down the hallway people in shadows running towards me. So i but my guard up and charged at them throwing a punch and waking up laying on the floor.
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I don't know how to correct it. I feel lost and lack the drive to p7sh me forward. Ti.e is just moving way too fast for me to keep up. Idk... I need to make a change but I don't know the path to get there. I don't know which is the right path . I guess I feel like I'm drowning in my own thoughts. It'll be nice if a map.of .y life was given to me.. so I know what to go after and what to avoid. That fear of the unknown is really.
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It's those odd moments when I don't know what direction to take. The year is coming to an end. I haven't accomplished much since last time. I set out to do alot of things but I couldn't muster the strength to pull it off. I wish I knew what to focus on thall lead me to a better future. But at the same time stabilize the present. It's a bummer alot of things didn't go out as I would of hoped but these are the cards I've created for myself. I need to figure out the best way to make the most out of
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