learnedfear-blog

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                     You could try and take us                                          But we’re the gladiators                          Everyone a rager                                   But secretly they’re saviors

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guys i’m officially moving adam to my multi >> drowniingdreams

[learnedfear-blog]

                     You could try and take us                                          But we’re the gladiators                          Everyone a rager                                   But secretly they’re saviors

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indie joey kavinsky, 18 + semi selective

i’ll hunt you down and catch you cheating. slit my wrists and laugh while bleeding. everyone just needs to get along!

RULES, ASK, WANTS, ABOUT

[learnedfear-blog]

                     You could try and take us                                          But we’re the gladiators                          Everyone a rager                                   But secretly they’re saviors

[learnedfear-blog]

I swing both ways ;)

Violently. With a bat. Come get some motherfuckers.

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“I really should get started on my roleplay replies,” I say to myself as I aggressively do not get started on my roleplay replies.

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somethin’ bout you

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“Rags to riches isn’t a story anyone wants to hear until after it’s done.”

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‘just because it’s the path of least resistance doen’t mean it’s the wrong path.’ 

Natasha needs to give Adam a pep talk tbh xD

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accchilles’ endless list of favourite characters (3.0) | three: adam parrish (the raven cycle)

i was here. i exist. i’m alive, because i bleed.

[learnedfear-blog]

ive been meaning to upload this for days sorry for the delay! my piece for the @trcfanzine 

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Adam shrugged. “Enough people think it counts as it, though.” Real faith rarely mattered in situations like this. If people believed you were good, honest, god-fearing folk then they didn’t suspect the terrible things that happened behind closed doors. 

"I found God. I found him in a lover.”

HALSEY MEME | ACCEPTING | @tccnagedirtbag

The tips of his ears go pink and he ducks his head. He has to clear his throat before speaking. “You go to church every week, Ronan, you already had God.” 

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    She was confused and Adam didn’t blame her, it wasn’t often that someone you didn’t know approached you and asked for your help in fixing an ancient, powerful magical line that spanned continents. And confessed to knowing that you were a witch of all things. “Yeah, well, I could use a good witch right about now, if you’re willing to help me.” He held his hand out. “Adam Parrish.” 

               the whole situation was more than just a little confusing for the o’bryan witch, but, she supposed she should just leave it to him to sort all that out. he seemed to be the PROFESSIONAL, after all. at the comment about being a good witch, she can feel a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. ❛ oh…well, that’s very…nice of you…i mean…of IT to say. ❜ of course, it would explain a lot, about him knowing she was a WITCH and all…but, still a bit perplexing, nonetheless. but, the compliment keeps her from saying anything else about it, too flustered to think more on the subject.

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Desino, he asked again, silently as he looked up at Gansey. The grin on his friend’s lips told Adam that he was in for a ribbing long before he was going to get any actual help. He couldn’t decide if he was annoyed about that or if it was in good humour. He was pretty sure he was never going to live this down either way. “Shut up, I fell asleep and woke up like this.” He couldn’t tell if Cabeswater was assimilating him or just trying to protect him from potential threats by camouflaging him. He wanted it to stop.

But he decided he was less annoyed about it when Gansey settled on his thighs, or just above them. He could feel his throat tighten at the gentle brush of his fingers against his jaw. He fought the urge to close his eyes and lean into it. Instead letting his eyes slide sideways to where he could just about see the door to the school. 

“You could help me out of this before we’re late,” he said. Adam Parrish was not the kind of person who wilfully skipped class. Besides it’s not like he could explain to their teacher that he got tied up by a tree.

@learnedfear [ x ]

Gansey hadn’t seen Adam at lunch and had been worried about his friend, especially as the period drew closer to an end. He’d wandered around the Aglionby campus in search of him, spending most of his time outside where he knew he liked to go. He’d very nearly tripped over Adam’s legs before he realized it was him, half covered in tree and twisted up in vines and leaves. 

“Well, well, well. What have we here?” he hummed thoughtfully, biting his lip in an attempt to keep from grinning broadly at the sight. The plants loved Adam, ever since his sacrifice to Cabeswater. But this… was going a bit far. It was as if they were trying to pull him, make him a part of them, a part of the earth. Still… Gansey couldn’t say he minded this little gift Cabeswater seemed to have trussed up for him. He glanced up, gaze flicking left and right to make sure no one else was around. Everyone was headed for their classes, though, no one too close to them.

Gansey stepped over Adam’s legs so that he was straddling them, then knelt and settled neatly on his thighs. “Whatever shall I do with you, plant man?” Two fingertips touched his chest and walked upward toward his neck, flicking the leaves away before brushing along his jaw.

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Adam was good at watching people without being seen, so as the lesson started he found himself  looking more and more at Gansey out the corner of his eye. He’d seen the forced smile, he’d understood the meaning, that Gansey felt like he was being shuttered out of this part of Adam’s life. He didn’t understand that it was just Adam’s way of trying to keep him safe. 

Are you happy now Adam? 

The vision of Gansey dead was, as always, startling and horrifying, it didn’t matter how many times he conjured it up for himself, how many nights he dreamed about it, there was no way to come to terms with the image of Gansey convulsing on ground, Ronan next to him. 

Are you happy now Adam? 

Gansey was dying. Blue had seen Gansey on the corpse road. Gansey was dying. He’d be dead before the year was out. Gansey was dying. 

Adam was terrified. 

They had to find Glendower, he had to have that favour, he had to ask for Gansey’s life They had to save him. 

He answered a question when it was asked, despite having not really been paying attention to the lesson.  Vision Gansey became Ronan on the church floor, convulsing and dying in Adam’s arms. 

His throat felt dry. Cabeswater rustled but he declined the offer of rescue from his own thoughts. He had to stay mentally present in the classroom even if he couldn’t focus on what was being said. 

For all the excitement as his search drew nearer the end, Gansey felt a kind of fear bubbling up in his chest whenever he thought of it. What did it mean, the end? What was he without Glendower? And what about his friends? Sometimes he felt further apart from them than he’d ever been, especially Adam. Gansey missed him.

Considering the conversation ended, he flipped open his notebook to his homework then began to page one by one through his textbook in search of the lesson. When Adam spoke up again, though, Gansey shot him a forced smile and nodded. What did he say to that? Thanks for considering me? Somehow the tables felt like they’d turned at some point, like Adam held all the cards and Gansey was left empty-handed.

I want him back, Cabeswater, he demanded silently. I want my best friend back. 

But Cabeswater couldn’t hear him here. Gansey wasn’t forever connected to the forest the way Adam was, and there was no saying that the forest would give in to his demands even if it could hear them. So he breathed out a quiet sigh and turned his attention to the front of the classroom where the teacher was beginning the lesson for the day. 

It was back to pretending that life was normal.

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No-one saw it here either, but Adam felt like even if they could they wouldn’t stop, Kavinsky’s reputation preceded him and Adam didn’t actual look to be in any peril (they wouldn’t stop even if he did, the voice in his head told him). He knew the mentality, keep your head down, see nothing. He was used to it. He was sure the knowledge that there was no-one around and no-one coming to save him if Kavinsky got really angry was meant to make him feel helpless and afraid, but it didn’t. This had been his entire life. Nothing to save him, no-one to help him, nothing but himself and all he ever did was make it worse. But, in this instance he did seem to be deliberately trying Kavinsky’s patince. 

He wondered if Cabeswater would save him if he was close to death. 

The Kavinsky was straddling him in a way that really indicated he wasn’t about to hit him again (Adam was pretty sure someone like Kavinsky would know the best position for hitting someone and he was also pretty sure that wasn’t it). He could hear the Aglionby education in Kavinsky’s words, words like loathe and profoundly weren’t things your average street thug would use. Amazing how both of them could try so hard to look like something other than their roots but couldn’t seem to stop. He frowned, “What have the mentally handicapped ever done to you?” he said, or tried to, mostly it was a jumble of syllables, followed by a soft, pained gasp and Kavinsky pressed down on tender ribs. Adam hoped nothing was broken. He didn’t want a punctured lung. He hoped the blood in his mouth was from being punched in the face and nothing more. 

His breathing was shallow as he tried to test how much pain breathing put him in. The hand on his ribs was causing a lot of discomfort, but he didn’t think thre was fluid in his lungs yet. He was probably okay. 

It struck him that Kavinsky was jealous, after all that, there was a definite hint of it, though of what Adam couldn’t say. The obvious choice was his relationship with Ronan, that friendship had to piss him off. Maybe even a little to do with his friendship with Gansey. Maybe to do with how far he had come towards bettering himself and escaping his old life. Maybe it was something Kavinsky couldn’t do and that pissed him off. Either way the intimidation tactic was all about jealousy. He wanted to scare him off. 

He turned his head slightly, wondering just how much he valued his life as he found Kavinsky’s face so, so close to his. “Y’ can’t make me go away,” he said and god, he hoped it was true. 

Cabeswater please. 

This whole thing was oddly intimate. The lack of bystanders enough to give it that edge, but now with their close proximity Kavinsky felt wracked with uneasiness. He swallowed sharply like there were rocks embedded in his throat. Fuck Parrish. He started this whole thing by insinuating that Kavinsky was worth less than Ronan, like he and Adam were on the same playing field. They weren’t. Adam actual, literal trailer trash Parrish, had an ill begotten attitude from thinking that because he did everything short of whoring himself out to get a good future he was something special. What the poor deluded son of a bitch didn’t realize had to do with the fact that there’s no escaping social Darwinism. You can struggle all you like, but you’re just gonna stay where you are both economically and in social and political circles. Adam was no different from any other wannabe Oliver Twist.

Kavinsky brought down his knee on the other side of Adam, now one of each bracketing him in. Face so close to his, and Parrish was a goddamn sight. Bruises already blackening his skin, blood staining him even darker and dirtier than K had ever seen him. It gave him a rush of pride. He did this. He made him worse. Maybe now people would starting seeing him for who he really was beneath that goody two shoes act that Gansey thew over him like a warm blanket. What a farce that whole thing was. “Alright baby, I’ll repeat myself despite being loathe to do so. Since you’re profoundly retarded, I’ll cut you some slack.” Kavinsky said, shifting so that his lips brushed against Adam’s other ear, one arm moving down to push where he’d kicked him in the ribs down to keep him in place. “You’re just as fucked as I am, Parrish, if not worse, but that does not mean.” he ground his hand down on Adam’s ribs, “that you’re like me. That we’re the same. What that means is, you need to drop the up and coming millionaire act and grow the fuck up.” You need to grow up and leave Ronan to me. He’s mine now.