lets-blogaboutit1890

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Holidays Away From Home

While everyone is with their family to celebrate this holiday season. I on the other hand decided to celebrate it away from home for the very first time and I have mixed emotions about it. At one point I miss my family and all the craziness that we are doing before celebrating Christmas and on the other hand I am excited to celebrate this holiday season in a new environment with new faces. It's overwhelming if I should describe it. Also, it's an adventure for me as well. Experiencing new things and becoming the woman that I wanted to be.

If I'm being honest, I owe myself the biggest apology and I needed this change in my life so to speak. And I guess you can say that this is my Christmas present I have to give to myself for the very first time in a very long time. But don't get me wrong I love and miss my family and my hometown so much but I don't want to repeat the same lifestyle wherein I am stuck of not knowing what I'm capable of. I also know that my family specially my mom misses me so much as much as I miss them but again, I owe this to myself.

It's scary and I'm still adjusting to my new lifestyle but I know I can manage as years, months, days, weeks and time pass by. Because life is too short to live asking so many what if's.

And that's it for now, Happy Holidays to each and everyone of you bloggers. I'll be back again next year. Enjoy your Christmas and New year with your loved one's💜🌲🎅🧨🎁

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

New

Hey! It's been awhile since I last posted here, and I must say, I missed blogging. So here I am again, and it feels so good to be back in my element where I can just freely say anything under the sun. So, here's the start of my first blog before 2024 ends and I will continue blogging from now on (during my free time of course).

But where to start?

I guess I'll start by saying, last year and this year 2024, I've had a lot of ups and downs, I lost so many loved ones that made me weak, weak to the point where I lost interest in what I love doing and I also kind of lost myself in the process. I didn't know I was super thin until I looked at myself in the mirror and I asked myself, " What did I do to this woman standing in front of me?" Like, she looked so weak, lifeless, and when she looked closely in the mirror, she saw so much sadness and pain. Even though some people kept telling her that she's lucky to have so many things or everything in life that many people dreamed of having. Don't get me wrong, she's happy and beyond grateful with every blessing she's received.

But then, when this woman standing in front of her and is staring right back at her is with other people ( may it be family, friends, relatives, etc.) she's happy like nothing's wrong, like everything's okay. When deep down inside her heart she's about to break.

That's when she decided to take a leap of faith and explore the outside world for the very first time in her 30 plus years of existence. And you know what, she's picking up herself day by day. And trust me when I say this; if you are one of those people who are afraid to start over or afraid to get out of the safe zone. Let me tell you, don't be. Be afraid of what will happen if you don't try. And yes it won't be easy as 123 or ABC but at least you took that first step in getting yourself back up again, then you'll be surprised the new you that you've become because you took that leap of faith to become the better version of you.

Lastly, I have learned to always love/prioritize yourself, always protect your health both mentally and physically and to always choose peace, kindness, positivity and respect over drama and negativity all over the world.

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

What If's

During this pandemic, there are times when I sit, meditate and ask myself a lot of questions and what if's.

What if my parents weren't my parents? Where will I be right now? What if one of my family member hadn't been in a relationship with this girl who's breaking my parents hearts including mine and is trying to tear my family apart? Will everything be okay?

It's not easy as 123 being in my situation in my family (but then again life is tough) but sometimes I wish my life was different. No family drama, no unnecessary fights/arguments, no judgments, no other people trying to tear us apart, etc. Then again, I don't have a crystal ball to predict the future and I'm also not a psychic.  It's just a tough place that I'm in right now and I just put on a brave face and try everything that I can to have a peace of mind and a peaceful life even though there's someone in my family who is not that at all happy about how we do things.

That's why all the time I just keep things to myself and never tell my parents what I wanted to say for the main reason that, I fear that they won't understand and that they'll compare my situation with one of our family member's unsettling situation (living situation) and that's the last thing I want in my life right now.

For once in my life I want to be totally (freely) be happy, but reality is that I can't (but I'm trying to) because there's someone in my family that's want to control everything and I hate ending up being the "bad person" (again). I hate to be blamed (again) just because I'm the eldest whatsoever. This happened to me in the past and I don't want to get through with it anymore. I don't want to be dragged down that negative path/situation (again).

My last "What If" will be: What if my life would be better elsewhere?

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Healthy Boundaries

Hey fellow bloggers!

What a day that I had today. It started very well and ended in a sour note (again). I don't know how can a person live a life without any boundaries or not even compromising to other people that's surrounding them?

I never thought that I would have to go through with the same cycle in my life again in which I have to be careful with my actions for the main reason that little miss perfect is really trying to destroy my family. Not to mention I'm trying to keep the peace in my family and also I'm mending my relationship with them. I don't want my family questioning my every move or to be thinking negatively about someone who I want to be a part in my life (again) just because of her and her actions/intentions, because not everyone has bad intentions towards me and my family (well, except for her to say the least). 

For five years, I have been keeping my mouth shut when it comes to her and her relationship with my family, but honestly her attitude is hard to swallow (she's even worse than I am when I was her age frankly speaking) and she's dragging everyone that I love down the drain with her bad intentions.

I know it's not good to judge the book by it's cover but when you're in my family's shoes and lived with her (trust me, it's not a healthy relationship). It's like we're walking on eggshells around her because she gets really mad when my family will talk about establishing healthy boundaries. Instead of compromising, she just go and does her thing. Knowing that there's a kid involved in this situation.

To make the story short, little miss perfect is in a relationship with one of my family members and they have a kid together and yes they're living in our household and they are not married. Both didn't graduate college but right now her partner is continuing school through online and hopefully will graduate (this time) and find a job to help her (little miss perfect) provide for their mini family.

Now back to the topic.

Right from the start she knew about my family's reputation and the way they handle things in the house. And I never in a million years thought that my gut instincts were right not to trust her. Because every single time my family gave her so many chances to prove her sincerity towards them and if her intentions were pure, but then again she just keeps doing the opposite and that's not cool with me

.Not every family is the same when it comes to raising/building their family but still it's not okay to be so ungrateful and disrespectful to my family.

Disrespectful and ungrateful in a way that when my parents won't agree to what she wants to do. She's gonna call them names (including me). What's worse is that she also tells some negative stuff to her so-called friends about my family (which in all honesty looks like a very immature behavior) . Mind you they (her so called-friends) don't know how my parents lived before they reached where they are right now (specially her).

My family decided to let them stay with us for the main reason that they have no permanent place to stay (due to their situation) and also we are looking after the safety of their child (my parent's first grandchild). Still, that's not an excuse on how she's acting around my family and how she treats them.

Don't confuse kindness for weakness because there will come a time that they'll reach their breaking point (just like I did and I'm older than her). 

My family's situation right now to be honest is so fragile and she's really trying to break us emotionally and she doesn't care that she's hurting a lot of people just as long as she gets what she wants. And I can't accept that in my family because they've been through so much. They deserve much better than how she's treating them. 

If you can't compromise or understand how my family does things in our household then, a piece of advice, just leave and stop hurting them. It's okay if you're going to attack or hurt me emotionally because I'm immune to that already but don't ever attack my family.

Lastly, if that's how she acts like a spoiled kid and very immature around her family don't bring that attitude in my family.

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Be My Valentine

We all know that Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine is celebrated annually on February 14. It originated as a minor Western Christian feast day honoring one or two early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine and, through later folk traditions, has become a significant cultural, religious, and commercial celebration of romance and romantic love in many regions of the world.

But what is the true meaning of Valentine’s? Should we just say or show how much we love the other person or even our families and friends only on Valentine’s?

For years I always thought that Valentine’s Day is all about giving chocolates, exchanging expensive gifts, flowers well wrapped or even have an expensive dinner dates with your significant other. It might be what some or few people love to do on Valentine’s Day (and I respect that), at the end of the day we’re celebrating Valentine’s Day differently.

I have to admit, in the past I wanted to have flowers or chocolates on Valentine’s Day. But now, I have a different view on Valentine’s Day, may it be my relationship with my boyfriend now or my relationship with my family.  Different in a way that I’m not expecting or asking anything from my boyfriend (especially in our situation in which we are in a long-distance relationship and haven’t seen each other face to face), and I told him that the best gift that I want to have is the day that we’ll see each other and be with each other’s company soon (when this Pandemic will be over). Besides, I’m the happiest since the day we’ve met, there’s not a day that he made me feel that I have to be scared or having to doubt on our relationship or his intentions are despite the distance between us. I love that we’re both secured and we keep each other grounded in our relationship.

As for my family, I am much more closer to them than before in a way that I am slowly telling them how I feel because in the past I kept everything to myself which resulted for me to get angry and super frustrated to them even though they were not in the wrong.

To end my blog, I would end it with:  For me, Valentine’s Day should be celebrated every single waking day of our lives not just today. It’s about creating memories with the people we love and that love us so much. Every moment we spend with them should not just be captured on our phones or cameras but it should be captured in our hearts, and it will forever and always make a mark there and it won’t ever fade away.

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

LDR

We all know that LDR means "LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP". But ever since this pandemic happened, some people are giving the word LDR a whole new meaning which is "LOCK DOWN RELATIONSHIP". Regardless on what or how we define the word LDR, it is still a relationship.

Truth be told that being in a long distance relationship, it is very hard and scary. It's scary for those who just experienced for the very first time being in that kind of relationship such as myself. Some people would not like it or won't understand it specially when you haven't met the other person face to face. Other people might think or ask themselves how can you call that a relationship when you haven't met the other person or they might tell you that you should not give your 100 percent trust on the other person whom you haven't met yet (which is their nature of protecting you and that's understandable, but not to the extreme to the point where they're going to be overprotective).

On the flip side, every relationship is different. We meet other people in different ways. There are couples who met when they were in high school, high school/college crush , or even grew up together and many more.

But to those people who are in a long-distance (like myself), there are a lot of challenges we face everyday like other couples do as years, months, days, weeks, hours, seconds and minuets pass by. There are couples in this kind of relationship who didn't make it because they couldn't take it anymore being apart from each other while others in this situation ended their relationship because the other person was not being faithful/loyal. And that's the scary and challenging part when you're in a long-distance relationship.

Trust is very important in a long distance relationship (aside from communication). Also we should feel secured within ourselves first and foremost, we should be complete and not be in a relationship just because we want other people to make us feel complete (that was one of my mistake in the past where I thought I needed someone to complete me when the truth is I just needed me to complete me). I learned to love myself and know my worth just like how my family loves me.

Never thought that I would fall inlove again (specially now with our new norm). Even though we're just 2-3 hours apart from each other he never fails to make me feel how much he loves me. Some people may find this relationship of mine very scary and I can understand why they're scared because we haven't met in person yet due to this pandemic.

We just communicate through text, chat, phone calls and videocalls. But at the start of our relationship we both talked about having a 50-50% trust towards each other and that's understandable.

The thing that I love most in our relationship is that, we both love nature (mainly going to the beach), we're both goofy (not the character in Disney's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse), he keeps me grounded, he always checks up on me, he really wants to meet my family soon (even though he's nervous) and also he can't wait to introduce me to his family and friends. It's very unexpected how we just clicked the moment we met.

Eversince then, I'm more happier than I could ever be. Also in our relationship, we talked about our status and we both said that it's the other person's choice whether or not he/she will do something that could end their relationship. He said that he has no time on playing games and so do I.

I never thought that God answered my prayer at an unexpected circumstance.

I know it's too early to say these things but that's how he makes me feel and that's how we feel. And I'll be forever grateful and thankful.

To those who are in a long-distance relationship, just compromise, be open and honest with each other. Communicate and trust each other despite the distance. Also, avoid those temptations that could ruin your relationship.

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Obdurate-Callous-Complicated

If you're wondering why my blog is entitled "Obdurate-Callous-Complicated," it's mainly because these are the three personalities that I've observed on this person that has been in our lives (mine and my family) for almost a year. And honestly, this person is not worth it for me or my family to be stressed out.  

Obdurate, this means that a person is stubbornly persistent in wrongdoing, an unrepentant or that a person is hardened in feelings. At the beginning, I already felt some negative aura on this person but I gave him/her the benefit of the doubt but then again, he/she has shown me his/her true colors and intentions are. This person never said "Sorry" not just to me but also to my family for the wrong things that he/she has said and done (and still continually doing). It's really crazy to think that a person could fall in love with this kind of attitude/personality.  

Second, this person is very callous. Callous means that a certain individual is showing or having an insensitive and cruel disregard for others. Like this person in our life where he/she just wants everything to be done his/her way and not compromise with my family. It's as if this person wants us to adjust for him/her and not the other way around. My mind was blown away on how this person wants to be treated which is "Royalty." Being the eldest in the family, I was not raised to be feeling royalty than this person thinks my family is. And I was and am not a "Mama's Girl" nor a "Papa's Girl" as what you might want to call it, but rather I'm a "Lola's Girl" (dad's side). My grandma taught me how to be kind to others (too kind to the point where I had many bullies that I didn't take any revenge, I just did the things that they told me to like make their assignments, throw their trash away at the trash can and many more, also they've given me names that are really nasty to hear) and she also spoiled me (not with material things but with a lot of love and laughter). Same goes to me family and my mom's family as well.  

And the third one is complicated. We all know what complicated means. I consider this person complicated because whatever my family wants to say or they want that person to respect their boundaries, he/she will talk negative stuff about my family to his/her friends and family. Never once did my family asked for something in return from this person. But still, this person wants to be in control of everything and everyone who gets in his/her way.  

This kind of personality is very tough to handle and for years I've been trying to avoid this person because I don't want my life to be filled with negativity and toxicity (I've been there already in the past). And I don't want to be put in that situation again.

For now, I just let go and let God do the rest because no matter what we try to say to this person, he/she will never listen and understand.

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Classy at 90

Today, we (my Angalot side) are celebrating our beloved Lola Andrea’s 90th birthday. Our lola was born on Februray 4, 1931 at Tagbilaran City. She got married to our Lolo Ludy on November 12, 1951 at Roman Catholic, Opon Cebu. They raised 12 kids (my mom, auntie Del, auntie Nita, auntie Milay, auntie Polot, auntie Bayen, auntie Liza, auntie Babie, uncle Eguy, uncle Tata, uncle Howie and uncle Odon (+)). I can’t imagine myself in our lola’s shoes rasing that many kids but she managed and they raised them in a very simple, respectful, God fearing and loving way. Not to mention both Lola Andrea and Lolo Ludy have a great sense of humor which is very contagious. That’s the reason why my aunts, uncles and my mom are very witty specially when we will have our family gatherings and family reunions. There’s not a day in our lives that we won’t laugh our hearts out.  

Before our lola’s birthday, I’ve been asking my relatives and cousins on how they would describe Lola Andrea and what message they want to say to her and here are a few of them who responded. First was ate Epay, she said that, “Lola Andrea is caring, loving and very talkative,” second was my ate Malot, and she said that, “Lola Andrea is strict and funny,” and the third was my cousin Mia, and she said, “La, maybe in another lifetime I could tell you, I hope I made you proud. In another lifetime, Caleb and Isabel would run into your arms shower you with kisses and hugs. But in this lifetime, I promise you that I’d tell them all the memories I have of you. I miss those times where you would chase us because you wanted us to smell what’s under your long dress whenever we will be so hardheaded. I miss every morning you would always check on your children, and you’ll wake us up and you won’t stop nagging until we will get out of bed. I also miss the time when you would ask me to accompany you to buy some groceries but the truth is I just wanted you to buy me some Jollibee treats. Lola, I wanted you to know I pray for you every night. Remembering you every night, still hoping you remember me too. I love you.” And I know everyone in my family would agree on how they described Lola Andrea.

Growing up, I hadn’t spent much time with Lola Andrea mainly because we were living far from her place. And my parents can’t go there everyday like they want to and also I was at my other lola’s house almost every weekend (but I love them both so much). They raised my father, my mother, my aunts and uncles with utter respect and love. I have the best of both worlds and I wouldn’t change it for anything. The way that I would describe Lola Helen is also the way I would describe Lola Andrea. Both of them are very classy, very generous, very loving, funny, not to mention very religious and most of all very understanding mother’s to their children and grandmother’s to their grandchildren and great grandchildren.

But when I have the chance to visit Lola Andrea when we were still living in Dampas, she would always make us laugh with her jokes. Even when she laughs, we all started laughing along with her. I can still remember the time she gave me rice and salt to eat and I loved it that I asked for more. Also the time when I had to jump of the street because a goat was chasing me when I was a kid, at that time, me and my cousins were just playing outside their house when a goat suddenly just started chasing me while my cousins were running back up to my other cousins house. I literally had so many bruises and Lola Andrea got so mad but still laughing when she heard I jumped off the road. 

To end my blog birthday and appreciation post for Lola Andrea, I would just like to say thank you for raising your family very well. You are one of the strongest woman I know, love and admire. And when I will be having a family on my own (in God’s time), I will surely tell them about you and how proud I am to have you as my grandmother. Even though you have witnessed me go through tough times growing up la, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love you just like I love mama and Lola Helen, also my aunts and uncles from both sides. I am happy and blessed to be a part of the Angalot Family and I will treasure every moment that I have with both sides. 

Happy Birthday Lola Andrea. We love you so much.

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Father

Every girl’s first true love and every boy’s best friend, they’re the ones who works and provides for the family (aside from the mother’s out there including ours), as what we call them “Padre De Familia.”

Me and my siblings are one of the lucky few to have a father who sacrificed so much for us, but the biggest sacrifice that he had to make was going to school through bicycle back and forth from Garcia Hernandez to Tagbilaran City, to be working very far from us for how many months and the time when he had to stay for my surgery (even though he was already called to go back to work) and much more. Some people might think that we are very rich just because of our father’s work but honestly, I don’t see our family that way. To me we are just like any family out there living an average and simple life. 

For me, we are rich but not in the way other people see or say it. I consider my family rich because I can see how my parents compromise with each other when facing very difficult problems/challenges as years pass, how they show and make us feel that we are loved, that they treat us equally (even though we are tough to handle) and also how practical they are. That’s what our dad/papa keeps reminding us (specially me their eldest daughter) to never think that we are rich and from that moment forward, every time someone would say my family is rich, I would just laugh or smile.

If I have to describe our dad in one word, that would be “HERO.” I consider him as our hero because he literally would do everything to protect his family and made sure we’re ok if he goes to work. Also, our dad’s life growing up was tough, and I am very (extremely) proud of our dad that he reached where he is right now because of the hardships he went through. 

Growing up, I have to admit I didn’t understand why he was so strict and overprotective. I always got so frustrated and angry to the point that, we got into arguments and misunderstandings. Now looking back, I now understand he had to be that way so that I won’t be involved with the wrong crowd and that I won’t experience the hardships he went through (also my siblings). But I know in my heart that my dad trust me and believes in me, he just don’t want seeing me get hurt (again).

To those of you who are raised by a strict and protective father (like me and my siblings), don’t think or feel that your father doesn’t trust and love you. Because honestly he does, his being strict and protective is his way of showing how much he loves you and wants you to be safe. Not all kids, teenagers and even young adults are lucky to have a father like that. That’s why you should be thankful to your father. 

I’m going to end this blog birthday message (or appreciation blog) with: To my dad, “Thank you, I love you, and I’m sorry pa.” Thank you for believing in me and for trusting me (especially now that I’m 30), for always making me feel that I deserve to be happy and that I am loved (and worthy of love). I love you pa, not because you’re giving me and my siblings presents when you come home from work but rather I love you for loving mama, you both showed me what love truly means. Lastly, I’m sorry pa, I’m sorry I was being mean to you and mama over the years. I take full responsibility of those actions and foul words that I’ve said and done to the both of you. I was not being myself those past years, I had a lot of anxiety, pressure (up to now but I can now control myself) and I was depressed for a long time and I was so wrong to take it all out on you and mama. But now, I’m slowly making it up to you both (one step at a time).   

Happy Birthday pa and stay safe always pa. My only wish (every time we celebrate your birthday) is for you to have a safe flight (back home), safe travels (when you will go to work) and good health always. We love you and miss you so much pa.

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Name calling, pointing fingers, threatening and manipulating.

 These are the things some or all of us have done in our lives. But as we grow older we try to avoid doing these things. Yet I can still see few people doing them to a stranger or worse to those people who are trying to help or compromise with them. 

To them "Kindness is a sign of weakness." And it's so disappointing and sad to witness such behavior because we're not little kids or teenagers anymore to be acting this way. 

Basing it to my life now, it's such a scary and challenging thing for me in a way that, everything I try to do or want to do and ask for my families advice (mainly my dad) this certain individual will misinterpret and bluntly call names towards me and my parents, not to mention that person will use somebody that's dear to me as a human shield or a threat towards me and my family. 

That kind of behavior is not acceptable and what's worse, that person will also use my past mistakes as an excuse or a ticket to get what that person wants. 

Honestly, I was about to say this to that person: "Look in the mirror and look at yourself as well. Don't think you're all knowing, that you have not made a mistake in your life and that you are God. Yes you have heard about my past and what I did, but don't use it or anyone dear to me as a threat or shield against me or my family to get what you want because my past doesn't define who I am. You should check yourself too." 

But I just choose to keep it to myself because I don't want to stoop down to that certain individual's level of disrespect and ungratefulness. 

Also I choose to live peacefully even though that certain person wants to destroy the peace in my family and try so hard to start a war. 

I'll just end my blog with a quote: "Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you. -Confucius."

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Genuineness

"As long as you’re being your authentic self, not being liked by certain people is literally a blessing. -Maryam Hasnaa" 

This struck a chord to me because I was not being myself since my other grandmother (father's side) passed away last year 2009.

A part of me died that day as well. I lost the woman in me that my family loved. The jolly, shy and quiet kind of woman that they knew. And I am having a hard time bringing my old true genuine self back. There were things in the past that I did out of my emptiness since her passing which I am not proud of. Until years passed, I am picking my broken pieces back together. Piece by piece and one step at a time, it won't happen instantly. 

Unfortunately there are some people who loves to point fingers at me and say mean and negative things towards for the main reason that they may or might have heard some of my past mistakes in which by the way doesn't define who I am. Those past mistakes that I did, it only serves as my lesson to do better or be the best version of me. And they don't know that I am still silently fighting my own battles. 

But thankfully, I have a very close family unit that I can trust, that loves and accepts me for me. They always remind me that I am loved, that I should embrace all my flaws and that I should come out of my shell/comfort zone. Most of all they're always with me as I am still picking up myself. 

They're one of my inspirations when I started making my blog. I think this is my way of getting back to my true authentic self, because all that matters at the end of the day is that, I am surrounded with people who has my best interest and whom I can count on. 

I realize that we should not fear of not being liked by many because in my experience, I tried to find myself and my happiness in other people, rather than I should learn to love me for me, the way my family and everyone that surrounds me sees my worth.

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Cut The Cord

This doesn't mean the umbilical cord of a mother and a newborn child, but this phrase means cutting ties with a certain individual that causes too much stress and problems to your life.

Literally, all my life I've been labeled as the "Black Sheep" in the family (not the black colored sheep in the nursery rhyme "Baa Baa Black Sheep"). 

In my previous blogs, I told you guys about me not being perfect. I too made mistakes and I'm not proud of it, but the thing is, if I will make another mistake this year I'll learn from them and I won't use or blame anyone else if I will be punished. And I have no plans on being "Perfect".

But there are some people who think they are perfect and that they know everything, that they don't need any help. 

To be quiet honest,  I have been dealing with that kind of person for 3 years now eversince 2018 up to now 2021. This person have made a huge damage to those people that I love so much and that I am trying hard to protect the best way I know how (including myself). 

I am sick and tired of saying my prayers to that person who doesn't seem to mind or care that he/she keeps hurting everybody that I love just as long as he/she gets what that person wants his/her way. Then shifts the blame on me and making me the "evil person". Frankly speaking, yes, I am not a very good daughter and sister to my siblings, they know I made mistakes in the past but that doesn't mean I don't love them. 

I love them with every piece of me, because they are my flesh and blood (my world even). No one has the right to disrespect them the way this person is doing. If anyone doesn't like the rules and regulations of my family or everyone that's connected to me, then by all means, our doors and gates are open wide for you to leave. We won't force ourselves to those people who are so ungrateful. 

At some point, we all reach our breaking point and I reached mine (so does my family). It's time to say "Enough is Enough."

A piece of advice to everyone who has the same thing going on with their lives. Let that person go and live your lives peacefully. Do not force yourselves trying to help those people who clearly doesn't want to be helped or are not willing to compromise with you and everyone around you.

Cutting ties with those kind of people doesn't make you a bad person but rather you are choosing to be at peace and that's ok. 

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Connection

The very first time I watched the tv show "90 Day Fiancé," I immediately got hooked. I kept wondering, "Is it possible for people to fall in love with a random person that they only met online, had a face to face through video chat and lived completely very far from them?"

Then this Co-vid Pandemic happened and almost everyone these days gets to meet different people through social media or even got the chance to re-connect with their old friends (high school/elementary) through chat, video chat, zoom, etc. I think it's really relatable to the tv show that I've seen. 

It's relatable because, this is no different from the protocols that our government wants us to follow (minus the alcohol and the hand sanitizer), there's no face to face interactions, very distant (my version of social distancing) and of course there's no physical touch (embrace or handshake). 

On my point of view, connections are very important specially nowadays, because all of us are going through a tough time. Some are still having a hard time dealing with our new normal while some of us are trying to survive. 

It's a good feeling to have someone (in person or through social media) that we can talk to just to ease the pain and burden that we feel. We just need to be open minded and be cautious at the same time when we connect with other people we meet under these circumstances. 

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Have Faith And Be Kind

2020 was not a good year to all of us (no exemptions). Then 2021 came and still there are things (both good and bad) that are happening in our society and within our environment. 

In my family, both sides are very religious, religious in a way that my grandparents (dad's side) are both lay ministers. Back when I was a little girl, I can always see my grandparents wearing white and always brought along with them a Bible. While on my mom's side, she has a sibling that's a nun. There's not a single day in my family that we don't pray the rosary, pray the novena, even attend mass even if it's not Sunday. ��That's our family tradition for years. 

But there came a time last year when I just wanted to surrender, but my parents always tell me not to loose my faith that everything will be ok. Because to them if I surrender, I'm letting those demons win, and they don't want that to happen to me. They've seen me in my lowest of lows in the past where I lost myself trying to please everyone just to be accepted or loved not knowing or realizing that I already have the love that I needed and that I don't need to please others. 

I just need to be true to myself because those people that truly loves me (like them) will eventually come to my life and stay with me through the good and the bad.  It's true that our lives today are absolutely difficult to handle that some of us just decide to end it for the not so valid reason that we lost faith and hope. We let our depression or what other people think dictate us on how we should live our life or how we should feel. 

I've been in that state of mind before where I thought about ending my life because I had no idea on how I would make it when I feel depressed, too much anxiety and pressure. But thankfully my family always got my back no matter what I'm going through (up to now). They're my rock and my strength (even though I'm still picking up my broken pieces).

 So to those who are feeling depressed, have too much anxiety or feel pressured or whatever it is that you're feeling. Don't even think for a second to end your life just because you're feeling that there's no other solution to whatever it is that your going through.

 Let your family be your shoulder to lean on, pray and never loose faith and hope. It might not be easy for now, but always remember that God didn't give us challenges/problems that we can't solve. Ask for his guidance and everything will follow.

I am making a blog about mental health awareness and not just about having faith because not all of us are aware of what that certain individual is going through. People are so quick to judge while others (as I said in my previous blogs) have the tendency to be so deceiving or manipulative. To the point where they'll use it to their advantage to get what they want. 

So if ever you'll encounter or know someone who has a mental illness, please do lend an ear or be their shoulder to lean on because it's not easy being on their shoes. 

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Moira

That's the name of the OPM artist that I listened to when me and my ex broke up last 2016. 

I'm writing about this not because I still have feelings for that guy but rather I want to share my experience on how I moved on ever since that breakup. 

Because truth be told, all of us hurt in different ways and move on differently too. And since next month will be what we all call the "Love Month," might as well blog about past relationships, heartaches and everything that comes along with it.

Months after we broke up, I came across the song "Take Her To The Moon By: Moira", it basically talks on letting that person go and let him find his happiness even though that person's happiness won't be you but it will be someone else.  Listening to that song, I have to admit it really hurts to know that he wasn't the one for me but I still wish him happiness and nothing but the best.

We had the best 6 years of our lives (2010-2016), but as what other people say in tagalog, "Pinagtagpo Pero Hindi Itinadhana." We indeed lived that saying. We had a lot of happy and sad memories in that 6 years. It is true that, when you're in a relationship, it doesn't matter how long you've been together but rather it's about how you and your partner handle or carry yourselves and also your relationship. 

Anyhow, we both know that we had our fair share of fights, shortcomings and misunderstandings (like any other couple do). That's why we both decided in the end that yes we did loved each other but we can't continue living or be in a relationship that we feel  like it's turned into a toxic relationship in which we both don't trust each other. 

Even so, I am grateful that our paths crossed. Also thankful for the friendships that I build in that relationship and for that person's family for welcoming me (up to now even though we've gone our separate ways).

 And as expected, he found his happiness (as what his sbilings and friends (who became my friends to)) told me. And I have to admit, I'm happy seeing him happy finally as what that person's family and friends said to me. And so am I.

I am also happy with my relationship now even though we're 3 hrs. and 28 min apart from one another. 

Anyways, as soon as I heard the news about my ex finally having a new relationship, I try to look for a song that speaks about "Leaving It Up" to the one that's making him happy. And years pass, Moira released a song entitled "Paubaya" and there it was. Everything in that song speaks on what I wanted to tell him and to his new partner. 

Lastly, for those who are having a hard time moving on from a breakup (may it be recent or may it be a long time ago breakup), all I want to say is that, it isn't that easy to move on. But based on my experience, we all have to look back at those memories we shared with that person and turn it into a lesson when we'll have a new relationship. Let's not force ourselves nor that person to stay in a relationship wherein you both are not happy anymore because you're only going to hurt yourselves. 

Instead, you should set yourselves free and be happy with your friends or family. And I truly believe that God is still preparing the right person for you, you just have to wait patiently when that time comes. When it does, trust me, you'll realize that it's worth the wait. 

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Good Read

As a kid, I was surrounded with Barbie dolls, Polly pockets, stuffed toys, coloring books and kiddie books. But as I was growing up, my aunts (dad's siblings) always sends me books to read with different authors and genre (from romance, to family, and a little bit of history and religion). 

It's as if books are my drug as I would describe it. 

Everytime I read, it's like I'm in a different world. No one is there, it's just me. People might find me odd or strange but I don't mind at all. I'm used to being alone sometimes and not to deal with "reality" just for a while. 

Reading also makes me relaxed and calm when I feel that I'm not ok or having too much anxiety (even pressured) specially now that there's still this pandemic. 

So to those who loves reading just as much as I do. Here's a quote that I want to share to you: "BOOKS GIVES A SOUL TO THE UNIVERSE, WINGS TO THE MIND, FLIGHT TO THE IMAGINATION AND LIFE TO EVERYTHING."

[lets-blogaboutit1890]

Intimidation

I never in a million years thought that I would encounter a person who is very intimidating. 

Intimidating in a way that he/she will use someone close or is connected to me to make me look like I'm the one who is in the wrong. For short, play the "victim card," when the truth is that, his/her actions doesn't match her words (based on my observation) for the past 3 years. There are things that this person said towards me (and everyone around me) that really made me doubt about what his/her intentions are. 

And I just try my best to ignore that person as much as possible because I don't want my life to be filled with negativity (again) because I've been in a negative environment/mindset in the past. 

So what I did, for me not to think about it is that I just revert my attention to the positive things that's happening to my life and count my blessings. 

It's true what they say that once you broke someone's trust, they'll never trust you again. As what the saying goes," Trust is like glass, once it's broken, it takes forever to rebuild it. "