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Way too many parents need to learn the difference between “a child being disrespectful” and “a human person expressing an opinion that differs from theirs”

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how many people could be working on actual problems in the world instead of being forced to do jobs that they are over-qualified for just because they dont want to go homeless and starve?

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I’m thinking about this on twitter again but I want to say it here too

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adults are always talking about how “kids will do anything to get out of school” and okay, first of all that’s not true, but I think we really need to ask why that idea holds so much sway.

children’s brains are hard-wired to take in new information and acquire new skills. consider, for a moment, just how thoroughly our society had to fuck up the concept of education for it to be a normal thing to assume kids are universally desperate to avoid learning.

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Scientists invented fabric that makes electricity from motion and sunlight. To create the fabric, researchers at Georgia Tech wove together solar cell fibers with materials that generate power from movement. It could be used in “tents, curtains, or wearable garments,” meaning we’d virtually never be without power. Source

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If you’re straight, write stories with gay characters, but don’t write stories about being gay. That’s not your story to tell.

If you’re cis, write stories with trans characters, but don’t white stories about being trans. That’s not your story to tell.

If you’re allistic, write stories with autistic characters, but don’t write stories about being autistic. That’s not your story to tell.

If you’re neurotipical, write mentally ill characters, but don’t write stories about being mentally ill. That’s not your story to tell. 

If you’re able bodied, write stories with disabled characters, but don’t write stories about being disabled. That’s not your story to tell. 

If you’re white, write characters who are POC, but don’t write stories about being a POC. That’s not your story to tell 

Write stories with diverse and complex characters, but unless you’ve experienced the oppression that we have, don’t write the stories that we need to tell ourselves. 

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OKAY RULE1 for writing autistic characters:  The labels of “High-functioning” and “low-functioning” are. Well to put it plainly, they are actively and absolutely harmful. They are used to silence autistic people. If you are deemed low-functioning, you are therefore unable to make any decisions for yourself, thus, you are put in the control of others. If you are deemed high-functioning, it is also used to silence you, because you aren’t “really” autistic. Do not use these labels unless it is specifically the bad guys using them, or if the characters are very obviously uninformed and ignorant of what they are contributing to by using these labels.

Rule 2:  Aspergers is the same thing as autism. Aspergers is usually just applied to “”High-functioning”” autistics because it sounds nicer than autism. They are the exact same thing.

Rule 3:  This should be obvious. But autistic people do not “suffer” from autism. And we are not people with autism. We are autistic people. Believe it or not there is a difference, and it is important. If I hadn’t been born autistic, I would not be me. You can’t separate the brain from the mind. You can’t separate autism from the soul.

Rule 4: Being diagnosed with autism doesn’t suddenly make you an entirely new person. Someone you know being diagnosed doesn’t mean that they are an entirely new person. Autism is like gravity—even before we gave it a name, even before we acknowledged it and realizing that “hey, this is a thing!” It was still there. Still making apples fall out of trees. Just because you find out that someone is autistic doesn’t mean your entire perception of them needs to change. They’re still the same person you’ve always known. Just like you know that gravity exists before you’re taught about it in school. Just because you don’t have a word for something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Rule 5: We are not sick. Autism is not an illness. I don’t care if you have a kid that’s autistic and you’re sad that they’ll never say to you “I love you” or hold your hand. There are more ways to express affection than hand-holding and verbal declarations. We are not sick. We do not need to be cured. I don’t care if you think we’re sad miserable things that will never meet arbitrary life goals. We are people. We just happen to be different.

Rule 6: Do not write an autistic character just because you want a gold star. Do not write an autistic character because you want to be able to say your story is diverse. Do not write an autistic character so that you can get some imaginary trophy. If you’re going to write an autistic character, it should be because you really care about the subject. It should be because you want to learn as much as you want to teach. Do not write autistic characters so that you can pat yourself on the back and give yourself brownie points. Write an autistic character because you really, genuinely, care.

Rule 7: Don’t tag something as involving autism if it’s literally just a background character that shows up for 0.2 seconds and doesn’t even have a major impact on the story or any real role at all. Not only is that obnoxious for people trying to find fics about autistic characters, it’s insulting. We are not objects you take off a shelf to show off, and then stick back when you don’t want us anymore. Either go all the way or don’t do anything at all.

Rule 8: We are not children. We do not “have the mind of an X year old”. If an autistic person is twelve, they do not “have the mind of a three year old.” They have the mind of an autistic twelve year old. Do not infantize us. Do not treat us like children.

Rule 9: DO. NOT. USE. THE. R-WORD. AS. A. DESCRIPTOR. DO NOT DO IT. IT IS A SLUR. DO NOT USE IT IN CASUAL CONTEXT UNLESS SOMEONE IS GOING TO REACT TO IT LIKE THE SLUR IT IS. 

Rule 10: Do not make “high-functioning” autistics look down on “low-functioning” autistics unless this behavior is explicitly shown to be in the wrong and completely misguided.

Rule 11: I don’t know what it’s called but that thing? Where people “teach” autistic people to be more normal? Where they force autistic people to make eye contact and not stim or walk on their toes and stuff? Yeah. That’s not a good thing. At all. Do not make it out to be a good thing unless this is later proven absolutely and disastrously damaging and wrong.

If you are autistic and have something to add, PLEASE FEEL FREE.

Allistics, please feel free to reblog. No, having an autistic family member does not give you free reign to add your own rules. This is meant to be a list of rules written BY AUTISTIC PEOPLE for the benefit of allistic writers so that we can read things without wanting to die of brain implosion.

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cat: hey you gonna eat that?

human: uh, that’s a rat. They’ve been showing up ever since we started harvesting grain. We don’t eat them, they eat our food.

cat: free game then. Cool.

human: be my guest.

cat: hey is this spot free? It looks warm and I need a place to have my litter.

humans: this is my house. Feel free, I guess, just don’t get stepped on.

cat: hey can you watch my kittens for me? I need to hunt and I don’t want predators finding them.

human: holy shit these buggers are cute. Nothing will happen to them.

cat: I am going to climb on your lap now and you are going to love me.

human: I’m ok with this.

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adults, while forcing all children above the age of 5 to sit still, be silent, and obey orders for 7-8 hours a day with minimal breaks, reducing their exposure to fresh air and sunlight to almost nothing, forcing them to alter their natural sleeping patterns to increase productivity, and repeatedly telling them their self worth depends on their being able to follow these instructions perfectly for 13 or more years: kids these days are so lazy! they never go outside! they never want to do anything! clearly it’s not because of us!

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I didn't even realize what phantoms were until I played in creative mode and stayed up for several nights and THESE THINGS WITH GLOWING EYES JUST STARTED CIRCLING ME AND I WAS SO CONFUSED. I would have died so many times if that update was around when I just started playing survival. I didn't know what a bed was back then, I would be dead every night.

look at this phantom. flapping slowly, gently, with no worries. look at this soothing gif and be at peace.

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Here’s another Hot Take™: if doctors are going to default assume anyone who brings up the subject of pain meds or expresses ongoing pain is “drug seeking” or an addict, they are already going into their diagnosis not believing their patient, and specifically not believing that their patient is either as in pain as they say or in pain at all. You can’t deny that, its a reality. This assumption already puts them in a position of seeing the patient as a liar, as antagonistic to their goals, and as someone who needs to have decisions made for them apart from what they feel is correct

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Warning:Transmed/Tucute discourse

Tbh, I’m really confused.

On one hand, I’m a Transmed, and I’ve been one for a really long time. I want to believe dysphoria is needed to be trans and that it’s as simple as that. I want to believe that all those who claim to be non-dysphoric are trenders and doing it for the uwus and if they actually transition they get dysphoria from it. I want to believe that science backs us up 100% and that every major science and psych organization agrees.

But I’m slowly finding that none of those are true?

Transmeds feel isolated to me, especially those who don’t have any doubts. I haven’t found any organizations who explicitly state that you need dysphoria to be trans (feel free to link). Most organizations I’ve heard about and looked at just agree that Gender Dysphoria exists and that transitioning can help it, not that only those with diagnosable GD benefit from transitioning or that only those with GD are actually trans.

The more I go talk to these non-dysphoric “trenders” the more I’m confused why we’re against them calling themselves trans. Most of them do have that disconnect from their agab, most do feel better when called by their chosen pronouns, and there are those who feel happier when they transition despite not feeling the anguish associated with dysphoria over their body to begin with.

The difference is it’s just a disconnect for them, not dysphoria as diagnostic criteria says. It’s “That didn’t feel right, but I can ignore it” vs “That hurt, triggered a panic attack, ruined my mood”. It’s a “I’m comfortable with my body, but I might be more comfortable with it if it looked more like this” Vs “Looking down at my body causes me pain/triggers a panic attack/makes me feel sick.” It’s “I feel like I could be happier, but I’m still happy how I am at the moment.” Vs “I’m in mental anguish and I need this to be relieved”. The first just doesn’t count as “severely impactful” enough to be considered diagnosable by GD, yet I would consider them trans.

The whole Transmed ideology depends on those who say they are non-dysphoric to be

Doing it for attention/to fit in/to be popular/because of peer pressure

Mistaken, and actually have dysphoria

Or blinded by some other mental illness or circumstance, such as body dysmorphia or being GNC and messing that up with being trans.

AND that if they were options 1 or 3, they would experience dysphoria in the opposite direction if they were to transition, or else they are actually 2.

But this just isn’t the case? Ash Hardell was/is considered a huge trender, but top surgery happened and do they seem dysphoric? I’ve looked at many accounts on Instagram of non-dysphoric trans identifying individuals, some of who are nonbinary, some of who are binary, some of who show of their bodies pre-transition (obviously no dysphoria) and still feel happy with themselves after medical transition, some of those who don’t plan on ever transitioning or trying to pass 100% of the time.

Most of these people don’t fit the sterotypes transmeds have put on them. They don’t feel any dysphoria, but they aren’t xe/xir, bubblekin, space gender, he/him lesbian. They’re people who want to be their gender, but just aren’t horribly uncomfortable with where they are now.

And now: My experience.

I never had GD as a kid, not severe enough to be noticed and diagnosed. The only signs were that I liked playing with the boys, didn’t like my name (it’s VERY feminine) and wanted a nickname, started being uncomfortable with skirts after puberty started, and started wearing a sweatshirt when puberty started. That’s literally it, I was the most feminine person ever otherwise. And now? All I feel is a disconnect. I look down at my body and I think it’s beautiful and I’m glad to have it, but I just kinda wish that I could have been a cis man instead. I hear my name and am referred to as a woman and I don’t feel horribly anguished or bad about it, just disconnected. It isn’t severely affecting my daily life, but it is something that would make me happier in the future to transition.

Thoughts? Feelings? Opinions? Go crazy.

Responses I don’t want to this post:

“But ‘just a disconnect’ is dysphoria!” (It’s not how it’s defined in the DSM5, it’s not how transmeds define dysphoria in practice either. People get called “not trans” for being comfortable with their body even when they still want to be the opposite gender and such.)

“Tucutes aren’t scientific, they were started on Tumblr ten years ago!” (Explain why there’s not a lot of science debunking them then.)

Sources that include brainscans and facts that would prove why dysphoria exists, but not that all trans people must have dysphoria to be trans

Responses that would be amazing!

Explanations why the “you have to have dysphoria to be trans” model is still logical.

Sources that are reliable and state SPECIFICALLY that dysphoria is needed to be trans.

I want my mind to be changed. I want explanations. I want to help close the debate on Tucute vs Transmed, and I want there to be some sort of middle ground instead of two groups fighting on exaggerated sterotypes of each other.

Any comment of any opinion helps. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge and speak your true doubts/opinions.

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depressed kids in the media: I don’t wanna go to therapy! I don’t need help! I’m not some specimen for you to dissect!

me, rollin up to my therapist’s office and collapsing in relief: what is UP my homeboy I fuckin missed you,, hope ur ready to hear some Bull Shit that fuckin happened to me this week

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Op doesn't like being replied to apparently. 🤔🤔🤔

this is what debating truscum feels like

(Read the FAQ for source links & more)

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You want the goth subculture to continue existing? Then accept that not everyone can be an 80s goth and a 90s goth. Those times are past. There will be 2000s goths and 2010s goths and hopefully goths for many, many years to come. And there will always be differences and the scubculture is going to evolve. Stop shitting on current goths just because you you can’t change and are suffocating in your stagnation and elitism.