life-on-nothing-blog

[life-on-nothing-blog]

i don’t think i could have a bodyguard w/o falling in love with them

open doors for me

buff

quiet/stoic

focused on my well-being and safety at all times

tall + good posture

lean down to whisper at me

will not hesitate to punch creeps

can and will literally shield me with his whole body

[life-on-nothing-blog]

[life-on-nothing-blog]

i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash and no responsibilities

[life-on-nothing-blog]

Disney Princesses + Castles 

[life-on-nothing-blog]

dead inside but it’s still lit

[life-on-nothing-blog]

clingy but pretends they’re not: capricorn, scorpio, taurus, leo

not clingy, not fronting: aquarius, virgo, gemini, sagittarius

not clingy but pretends to be: libra

clingy and doesn’t give a fuck: cancer, pisces, aries

[life-on-nothing-blog]

me: *sees a fat cat*

me, in tears: you are so fucking big i love you…

[life-on-nothing-blog]

im gunna go back in time and kick my own ass

[life-on-nothing-blog]

[life-on-nothing-blog]

i like to pretend i’m emotionless but i have at least 200 mood swings a day

[life-on-nothing-blog]

someone: hey do you wanna hang out

me: i can’t bro i’m uglier than usual today

[life-on-nothing-blog]

Idea for a game show: it’s a cooking competition with no recipes, just a lil old granny judge telling the contestants how to make dishes that have been passed down in her family from generation to generation. All the contestants have to follow along as she talks, and her instructions are super vague. There are no actual measurements, just things like “Add the basil. How much, you ask? Just enough.” or “Put it in the oven until it’s done.” Every week it’s a different judge with recipes from all over the world until the finalists must face the Ultimate Grandma™

[life-on-nothing-blog]

[life-on-nothing-blog]

I can’t make you love me if you don’t, you can’t make your heart feel something it won’t

[life-on-nothing-blog]

[life-on-nothing-blog]

the only person who is allowed to poke my stomach is my cat because he’s a very important baker who has biscuits to make

[life-on-nothing-blog]