lilyoft-hevalley

[lilyoft-hevalley]

Tubbo making a video on the environmental impacts of AI and im supposed to believe Tommy didn’t knowwwww Yeah Right

[lilyoft-hevalley]

https://www.tumblr.com/lilyoft-hevalley/787508909878509568/my-problem-with-it-is-people-see-therapy-as-a

Putting abuser, assaulter, and then republican on equal grounds is definitely a choice anon 💀

[lilyoft-hevalley]

U keep bringing up Lana del Ray as if she's not also a horrible person 😭

babes it's called making a reference... I know she's a bad person. first day on the internet?

[lilyoft-hevalley]

https://www.tumblr.com/lilyoft-hevalley/787469834166419456/i-dont-understand-when-people-are-like-i-hope-he?source=share this is so well said tysm

[lilyoft-hevalley]

if you hate your self you will be unsatisfied with every decision you make

[lilyoft-hevalley]

all this shit is why I don’t find Tommy’s “I’m dating a fan” or “haha pedophilia right” jokes funny cause bro your peers are being exposed word and right some of which you didn’t even care about their allegations and you’re trying to make jokes on it? Fuck off

the "i'm dating a fan" is so funny to me because tom has friends who married fans and others currently dating fans that were into rpf of them, even non con ones. like imagine how awkward it was when he was telling this joke right besides charlie slimecicle during the tour LMAO

someone make a very saturated version of norman fucking rockwell's chorus for this please

[lilyoft-hevalley]

I hate to be the one to break it to you but women are with ugly men all the time. I don't mean ugly only in the literal sense, I mean ugly inside and out. it's not for money or fame or lust. it just happens. my best friend is dating a dude that's actively balding like he's even more bald than my dad. my ex friend dates a guy who's also balding and eats like a child (very picky eater) and I was like... why. and then it hit me: that's just how it is

[lilyoft-hevalley]

spifey now too

[lilyoft-hevalley]

keep your story straight did you get abused or you were an abuser

went through two abusive relationships very young and had abusive tendencies. one experience doesn't negate the other and I wish I didn't have to bring up these facts every other week to be taken seriously

[lilyoft-hevalley]

my problem with it is people see therapy as a magical solution to men being horrible. Man sexually assaulted a young girl? omg i hope he goes to therapy and betters himself (gnf). man was an abuser? Even when he clearly shows no sign of understanding what he did wrong? Omg i hope he goes to therapy and betters himself (wilbur). The way people talk about these men makes it very clear that they see them as the true victims in these scenarios who are good people who just need to be taught like little babies how to be a decent human being, which therapists can't do.

Dream in particular is very good at playing into this. "im a poor little republican who was brought up in a red state and just dont know any better" and dream stans eat it up it's so pathetic. We need to stop babying men, especially since we treat women so much harsher just because we expect them to "know better" by default.

I understand your point but therapy can help you become a decent human being... because that's what it did to me

without going into detail, i used to have abusive tendencies (I am not proud of this) and thanks to CBT and, as I said, willingly putting in effort to change, I got better to the point that, when I tell people about things from my past, they don't believe it because of how much I've changed. I'll reiterate that therapy is different for everyone and it can be weaponized, yes, and I do not wish to absolve the aforementioned men by any means-- my personal experience doesn't define the collective

I will say that I haven't seen anyone go "I hope gnf goes to therapy;" in the few instances I've seen his stans, they just straight up denied it happened

for w*, I have seen this type of people that, despite their optimistic approach, are blinded by nostalgia and morbidity. i won't repeat myself because I already talked about empathy for wrongdoers, but such a feeling deepens when there is a prior bond (even if it's a parasocial one): you see it in Beyonce standing with her husband in court, you see it in kanye's fans, so on and so forth. what I will repeat is that remorse and guilt works different for bpd folks (yes, I'm still doing armchair psychology for him) so refer to that post. once again: I'm not absolving him

our focus should not be on this. we should focus on ways to improve support systems for victims. decentering men from this conversation is and should be the first step, so let's do that

[lilyoft-hevalley]

all this shit is why I don’t find Tommy’s “I’m dating a fan” or “haha pedophilia right” jokes funny cause bro your peers are being exposed word and right some of which you didn’t even care about their allegations and you’re trying to make jokes on it? Fuck off

[lilyoft-hevalley]

I don't think therapy helps in and of itself, that's the problem. therapy doesn't work unless the patient willingly decides to make it work. believe me, there was a point early in my treatment where I hit a slump because I was simply so fed up with being alive that I didn't give a fuck about therapy yet I still went because it felt like a duty. this went on for a month straight and only when I had a mental breakdown and decided to work on myself did therapy actually help

as for whether or not it helps abusers: the same principle applies to them. help means nothing if it's not welcomed nor deemed as needed. it also means nothing when it's weaponized. it is true that it can give people powerful tools to justify their actions, I will not deny that

therapy is also different for everyone because of the various schools of thoughts that the psychology field encompasses. I do cognitive behavioural therapy, some other people might do psychoanalysis, or systemic therapy. it really depends and, again, as a victim myself I disagree with this idea, but I also understand where it comes from and I respect it

Therapy doesn't help abusers, it just gives them new language to justify their abuse. (at least that's what I've heard from victims) I don't understand why people see going to therapy as a fix all. That's just not the case.

I disagree but I respect this point of view

[lilyoft-hevalley]

Therapy doesn't help abusers, it just gives them new language to justify their abuse. (at least that's what I've heard from victims) I don't understand why people see going to therapy as a fix all. That's just not the case.

I disagree but I respect this point of view

[lilyoft-hevalley]

I don't understand when people are like "I hope he rots" about an abuser, then once they are actually struggling they start being all empathetic towards them and saying they deserve to get help

human connection throughout the centuries has bred a strand of empathy that is quite hard to disengage with unless you're very aware of it; that is, empathy for wrongdoers. this, in my humble opinion, is linked to both deep-rooted misogyny and an optimistic approach to these situations (that people can learn, grow, change, etc... in the case of wrongdoers I do believe it stems from morbidity) that is useless. you see it in the true crime community most prominently, though I can't think of specific examples off the top of my head, but there is this need to "see both sides of the story" that awakens a feeling of sympathy and/or empathy and/or pity in others

rousseau does talk about how circumstances and society shape men ("men," as in humans) and thus when we are told about a difficult upbringing, for example, people can't help but justify the actions that come after. this also, I feel, comes from a place of hope: that we would be extended the same grace were it be the other way around

do abusers deserve help? it's a difficult question to answer (though from the get go my answer would be no) and it depends on how you define "help." is it therapy? rehabilitative justice? financial support?

I've said this before and I'll reiterate: I was not given second chances so I will give none. what I don't like about some of these situations is that people jump into the other extreme and, for example, further stigmas around either mental illnesses or addictions. an abuser having a mental illness is not indication that people with that illness are abusers nor is the mental illness the root of the abuse. a person having an addiction is, by no means, to me, reason to mock them

I raise a better question: is wishing someone pain and misery helpful at all? does it not take away the attention from the real pain and misery of the victims to a hypothetical that, because it is indeed hypothetical, will never happen? why focus on this instead of building better systems to support victims? do people really think that victims of abuse wish for their abusers to rot? (we do, at the beginning; see: stages of grief) we want to be the ones to receive this theoretical help, instead of hearing the hundred and one what-ifs people have come up with

this is why I'll always support victims, because I am one too and god knows I would've killed to be heard and understood

does this make sense? probably not. sorry if it doesn't answer your (probably rhetorical) question

[lilyoft-hevalley]

Wisteria 🌿

[lilyoft-hevalley]

and is no one gonna point out that the person bbh roleplayed a romantic relationship with on the realm (pili) is a full decade younger than him and was a massive stan who idolized him.

They never had any romantic relationship wdym? 😭😭😭 pili only did like romantic rp with pangi, lukey and zam but I don't think bbh ever did??

take this to dms everyone pack it up !

[lilyoft-hevalley]

oh so there's layers to this... damn

I even heard pili tried to talk to sapnap on a hispanic event a few days after the tubbathon this year that he was a big part of on game lobbies.......