lime-lorelei

[lime-lorelei]

posting in the groupchat when you’re the only one who’s PST and it’s after everyone else’s bedtime

[lime-lorelei]

Tumblr 2021: he is SO soppinf wet, my scrimpy little fiction boy

Tumblr 2025: sodomizing and spanking that man #TheCharacter

[lime-lorelei]

alternative white boy with a japanese name how you vex me. your puritan ancestors were walking around named shit like kill-sin and posthumus and onesiphorus and dust. you could have named yourself hate-evil. there's record of a person named persecution by trial in 1619 i mean you look at these records they were having a blast. and you could have been the one to bring these names out of the shadows of obscurity but you didnt want it did you daisuke

[lime-lorelei]

Your dislike or phobia for certain animals never outweights the animal's right to exist and live, i keep running into this behavior and i don't know why some folks never got to learn that. Who do you think you are

[lime-lorelei]

TAYLOR WANT SHEET METAL

[lime-lorelei]

A copper retriever with her unoxidised puppies

[lime-lorelei]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[lime-lorelei]

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot" in their ask box

[lime-lorelei]

Positive affirmations

- I'm still good meat

- I'm perfectly good meat

- I taste fine

[lime-lorelei]

[lime-lorelei]

the problem with taz balance is you first listen to it as a naive high schooler like "oh, funny dnd podcast made by those mcelroy guys i see in tumblr memes all the time! and they apparently have gay characters too! let me check this out! haha his name is taco that's so random XD" and nobody could have warned you that a decade later you'll still periodically think about lucretia and her martyr complex and be stricken with the urge to start gnawing your own limbs off

[lime-lorelei]

When you’re on your way home from the club but one of you almost died

[lime-lorelei]

‼️‼️‼️

[lime-lorelei]

i've never been so hyper fixated on a musical that i've wanted to read fanfiction about it... that is changing rapidly...

[lime-lorelei]

my personal vision for what chess the musical should be is "everything is sex, except sex, which is the cold war, and except the cold war, which is chess, and then chess loops back around to being sex again". This is not me saying the musical would be better or worse with this vision in mind thats just how i see it

[lime-lorelei]

I'm live rn on Youtube talking about Milgram! Feel free to join!

[lime-lorelei]

Kanoshin