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Daydreaming Possibilities

Every man and woman in history who endeavored to achieve something and succeeded has said, one way or another, that the secret to success starts with a dream—a dream to reach something, a dream to go somewhere, a dream to win something, a dream to prove oneself. It doesn’t have to be concrete. Most of the time, the grandest dreams start like a tiny seed, unsure of its place or value in the whole scheme of things. That is to say, you start out small and, little by little, daydream the possibilities along the way. Before you know it, you have a solid dream and a solid plan of action. Your dream then becomes your ultimate goal in life. With the right mindset and attitude, you might just bring your dream to reality. Of course, it is easier said than done because the path to realizing your dream will not always be a smooth one. In fact, people usually give up on their dreams when they do not know how close they are to making it happen. Sometimes people give up because they forget the dream they started with at the beginning and focus instead on the difficulties along the way. The best course of action when this happens is no action at all—meaning, pause and take a breather and remind yourself what started your journey. The worst thing to do is to struggle and frustrate yourself even more. Imagine your dream as a tiny seed in possibly healthy topsoil. You do not know the rocks and other growth obstacles underneath the topsoil. Hence, when the growth is derailed, you take the time out to assess what you have and how you can grow your tiny plant some more. If you struggle too much though and lose your joy in the process, the soil you had will be your quicksand—move too much and you definitely go down quicker. Therefore, stay calm and believe the process. Go back to daydreaming and think of all the possibilities ahead. Daydream and renew your ambition, your drive to reach your goal, your motivation to succeed. Everybody needs time to rekindle their strength. Do not take shortcuts. Everything truly worthwhile is worth waiting for. The power of the mind has known or shown no limits. Indeed, where the mind can go, the body will follow. Use then the power of your mind and dream all the possibilities you want to see. Only people who know how to dream and see possibilities ahead can make it far in life. Everything that we enjoy now begun as somebody else’s dream: Thomas Edison dreamed of the light bulb, Bill Gates dreamed of personal computers, Steve Jobs revolutionized our latest means of communication. There are many other dreamers in between the generations, many who made life easier today than it was centuries ago. No matter how these dreamers achieved their success, they all had a common denominator: they started with a dream. What possibilities do you dream of? Read the full article

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We Don’t Celebrate Memorial Day

Many Americans cringe at the mention of “Happy Memorial Day.” When you remember to whom the day is dedicated to, the line does, in fact, sound inappropriate and even insensitive. Memorial Day—formerly known as Decoration Day—officially begun in 1971 as a federal holiday. Before that, however, communities around the country had been commemorating and honoring fallen heroes, especially those lost to the Civil War. For uniformity, in 1968, Congress passed an act dedicating the last Monday of May as Memorial Day. The Uniform Monday Holiday Act went into effect in 1971. Early Memorial Day practices included decorating the graves of fallen soldiers with flowers, reciting prayers, and gathering for speeches. Today, these practices extend to parades, beer and barbeque, and even mall-wide sales. It seems, today, the sacrifices of those who answered the call of “duty, honor, and country” do not spark as much sentiment as they did years ago. It is indeed common to hear “Happy Memorial Day.” However, we ought to think twice about using such a greeting or even celebrating and enjoying the unofficial start of summer. The day should be a day for reverence. When you greet someone jovially on Memorial Day, what kind of response do you expect to elicit? Think about a family who lost a son or a brother in the war in Afghanistan. A fiancée who lost someone in Iraq. Think about sons and daughters who grew up without their fathers during WWII. About wives and widows who had to raise kids on their own. Think about veterans who lost their comrades in Vietnam or in Korea. About veterans who lost their limbs, sight, or sense of self to the war. How do you look them in the eye and celebrate Memorial Day? For them and many others who felt the loss caused by war, Memorial Day is anything but a happy occasion. It is a solemn day spent remembering and honoring the tears, sweat, and blood of every American who died serving our country or every veteran who sacrificed for us today. Can we celebrate though even as we remember our loss? Can we celebrate the lives of those who died for us and enjoy the fruits of their sacrifice? Perhaps time will heal all our wounds, but just this one day, give it back to those brave men and women. Say a prayer or whisper a thank-you. Light a candle. Look up at the Star-Spangled Banner and remember how we got here today. “In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends” (Martin Luther King Jr.). Read the full article

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Taking Care of Parental Roots

Empty nest syndrome is real. According to pyschologytoday.com, “Grief, depression, a loss of purpose and a sense of sadness may be experienced when children enter their own relationships or when they start their college careers.” Parents struggle with empty nest syndrome when their children move away from the hometown and start families away. There are some instances where kids and grandkids live with the parents. It seemed like the perfect setup: parents would go to work and grandparents—typically retired—looked after the kids. Everyone tends to be happy—the kids are well taken care of and the parents seemed energetic, happy, and young once again.  However, when the kids get a place of their own, grandparents can seem excited at the prospect of their kids trying their wings, but the excitement soon wears off, and they start to miss the grandkids and what they remind them of – the life and activity in the house. It must be difficult for parents to go through the empty nest syndrome. It’s not difficult to imagine because we all have to let go of something and someone dear to us, and basically, that letting go is the crux of the empty nest syndrome. After all, how do you let go of someone you’ve nurtured for so long? How do you ease the day you used to spend taking care of someone? We all want the people we love to succeed. We want them to go after their dreams and build their own homes and families, but there is no denying the fear of being separated for good or the ache—that dull feeling inside. It makes sense why psychologists encourage parents, especially mothers, to nurture themselves even when they have their hands full, taking care of their kids. It makes sense why, ideally, mothers should have their own craft, hobby, organization, group of friends so they don’t lose their identity and don’t feel the effects of the empty nest syndrome in full force. It makes sense why parents need to take care of their relationship with their spouse so when the children are already away in college, parents won’t feel lost in each other’s presence. Today, with distance bring an importance factor - the kids and parents typically make arrangements for regular visits and that summers are spent together. Where distance is not so much of a problem, there can be dinners, movies, days at the park, shopping sprees among other things in between regular visits. Phone and video calls too can be frequent. Indeed, taking care of your parents is one of life’s sweetest blessings. Many don’t get that opportunity. So those who can, should. Read the full article

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Seeing Beyond the Pain

Recently, I was challenged with how to express my Christian thoughts of care and support to a friend who is dying from terminal cancer. He made it clear that religion has had little importance in his life; as a result, he has decided when to end his suffering. His family asked him to let them know before he does so they can say their goodbyes. This week he notified them he will not eat or drink anymore; thereby, allowing his body to die from deletion of water and food. When I spoke with the family member, knowing that he had started the process, I was speechless and could not find the “proper” words to convey my thoughts. Obviously, my concern and care for him, his health and his life are still foremost on my mind but could not think of any words to say to convey the compassion I felt. I know the genesis of my being speechless was rooted in my religious beliefs – I believe that God is the giver of life and is ultimately the one who determines the number of days. My rational mind can understand a person who does not want to endure anymore invasive medical treatments; to take meds that keep them drugged or sick or become tired of living in pain in a shell of a body they once had.  As a result, one feels the better decision one can make is to take control and decide to end the illness/life on one’s own terms and timing.    My friend is very knowledgeable and had talked to medical professionals and caregivers about how he could be in control of ending his life when he chose to no longer suffer the illness. That is an intellectual approach to address the situation and makes sense that he sought medical advice to understand when his body was about to shut down. I researched a little about how long would it take to die if you have no water and no food. Obviously, a lot of factors are considered, person’s health, gender, age, height, weight, environment, etc. However, it ranges between several days to several weeks. When a person dies of thirst, the actual cause of death is an internal poisoning or a circulatory collapse or heart failure. Because of the acute lack of water, the kidneys stop doing their metabolic function and stop producing urine. Body toxins attack other organs which leads to overall poisoning of the body. A person might suffer a general breakdown or circulatory collapse and multi-organ failure and thus dies of a heart attack or stroke. While the body's water resources are used up very quickly during dehydration, starvation phases are in a longer-ending reserve system. How long someone survives without food, therefore, is much less predictable. Hunger strikers who have been starving for two months say the feeling of hunger will completely stop after a few days. With thirst, that is not the case. It appears the lack of water becomes the dominate factor when depleting the body of water and food as to when your body will succumb. I got even sadder when I saw how much additional pain the body goes through with a decision to die from starvation or thirst when a person is already ill and aging. Looking at the situation where one introduces more pain to stop ongoing pain, thereby ending life, my mind goes to how faith in something larger than oneself can provide strength in those dark times.  Having an anchor of faith in God provides hope to let one know that you’re never alone, trust to know He cares and protects all – the saved and the unsaved.  Unfortunately, not knowing the power of prayer opens a window for self-doubt as to the true value of one’s life. Knowing God’s love and commitment to us and how He ransomed His Son’s life so that we may have eternal life can be enough for most of us to hold on until He calls us home. Faith in the unseen can give hope in the unknown. One of the most caring things one can do for someone is to pray for them—to intercede on their behalf at the throne of God.  As Christians, we are called to be in prayer constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  This would include the unsaved. God clearly has a heart for the unsaved. Praying for people to come to know Jesus is praying in accordance with God's desire for them. Now I know how to pray with and for him – a prayer of intercession. Read the full article

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Mother’s Day—Seeing Mothers’ Love Everywhere

It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, what you do, and how old you are—there is nothing as unconditional as a mother’s love. I know they come in different types and sizes, but at the very core of every mother is one thing and one thing only—love. The kind of love that makes her forget about herself, if only for some time before, finally, when her kids are able to stand on their own, she rediscovers herself again. She’ll say, “I don’t want to lose myself in the process of child-rearing,” but give her a child and she’ll barely look at herself in the mirror. She’ll say, “My career means the world to me,” but once a child is involved, she’ll drop anything—no second thoughts, no questions asked—to rush to her child in need. What mother does not know the kind of love that makes her bawl in the privacy of her car or quietly sob at night but still bravely take on challenges squarely in the face the day or the minute after? It’s the same kind of love that pushes her to work longs hours to make ends meet, skip R&R to finish chores at home, or read one last bedtime story after the three “last” ones. It’s the same kind of love that holds your hand, locks you in an embrace, and rocks you to sleep even when she means to dish out discipline and punishment.  It’s the love that adores your childhood stutter and listens to your grown-up stories, excuses, and white lies, forgiving and forgetting in the process. A mother’s love is the love that keeps on giving, a reflection of the greatest love of all—the love gloriously expressed in John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” God gave us his son for us—the ultimate sacrifice. Mothers, in a perfect world, do not have to give up anything to give something to someone, but this is not a perfect world we’re living in. Hence, I often wonder what dreams my mother gave up so I could have mine. I know only too well the trade-offs I made to be half the kind of mother my mother is—things like a good night’s sleep, long showers, peaceful mealtimes, solo shopping trips, a solid career. Mothers the world over know about the trade-offs we deal with on a daily basis—trade-offs we don’t second-guess because we love our children. It is rightful then what the Bible tells us to do: “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father” (Leviticus 19:3). Therefore, wherever you are in the world, make sure to celebrate and honor your mama today and make your life a testament to the love she freely gives to you. Happy Mother’s Day! Read the full article

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Things Boomers and Gen X Can Learn From the Millennials

The mass-stereotyping of an entire generation has distracted us from the new direction the Millennials (Gen Y) are leading us towards. A Gen X says, "Our baby boomer parents spent 30+ years in a job they hated. Then when they finally got out, they said, 'Man, I wish I had done that 10 years ago.' " Millennials watched their parents and grandparents work long hours at jobs they didn't care about. "Work hard and climb the corporate ladder so you can enjoy retirement," the Gen X and Boomers told their kids/grandkids. Millennials think Boomers got caught climbing the corporate ladder and hated every rung. Gen Y heard "You can't have all what you want, so settle. For the first time in history, your generation will not do better than the previous ones." They want nothing to do with this thinking. Their response is, "Mom, Dad, and grandparents, we appreciate all you've done, but we have a better vision for the world." They're clear on their vision and they are living it. Many studies and research have been done and they all seem to converge on a similar shared vision for the world. They truly believe the Boomers and Gen X can learn from their new perspective. Studies reveal the following seven salient beliefs of the Millennials. 1. Embrace Technology. This is the obvious one. Technology is here to stay and you have to embrace it. Older people stand to benefit the most - they can keep in touch through email, Skype, and so forth. Also, older people can learn a lot about health conditions, advancements in medicine and medications, environmental and safety concerns, aging, and physical health on the Internet. 2. Give back. What you do should make the world better. Millennials want to make money and live comfortably but also want to give back to causes they care about. They're eager to use their social networks to share what they learn quickly so many people can benefit. Whether it’s crowdfunding or go-fund-me pages to raise funds or change.org campaigns to raise awareness and influence social policies; their social conscious outlook has more of a worldview than a local one. 3. Do What You Want. Doing something just because it pays well or there's demand for the skill won't make you happy. Millennials believe you should figure out what you want to do and do it. They believe you should be fulfilled by what you do. A 24-year-old says, "I never want to look back and say 'Gee, I really wish I had tried to make my dreams happen.' " 4. Don't Separate Work and Life. If you're doing something you are passionate about, there's no need for work-life balance. They see it all as "living." Move seamlessly from work to play, mix the two and enjoy them both. Buddy Hobart, baby boomer, and Gen Y expert say, "Work-life balance is a myth and you do not have a "work life" and a "personal life," you simply have a life." 5. Learn Fast. Our rapidly evolving world requires a new skill: learning quickly. Conditions change too fast to learn one skill and spend years developing it in the workplace. Develop the skill of learning and adapting quickly so you can do many different things. Gen Y business owners say, "When I get resumes, I look for a diversity of experiences, a wide social network, and a track record of success in varying situations." 6. Be Open-minded about the Future. Many opportunities will come along in life, and if you are stuck in a preconceived idea of what the future should look like, you'll miss the exciting things that come along; they may be better than you ever thought possible. Life is a process of discovery. Be open to discovering things and seeing change as a constant thing in life. 7. Take Risks. Taking risks is a necessary part of achievement and Gen Y gets that. They also appreciate that their Boomer parents let them move back home occasionally when they stumble, as successful people inevitably do. Taking the safe path guarantees your life will be mediocre. Taking risks means there will be a failure, but millennials are more interested in the infinite possibilities that risk-taking brings. A 27-year-old entrepreneur says, "Any failure I meet will be the greatest teacher of all and I'm willing to learn." Millennials aren't bitter and they aren't lazy. Boomers and Gen X see them as “entitled." If an unwillingness to settle for a life of mediocrity is entitled, then they say the answer is yes. They see it as being committed. They know their parents/grandparents worked hard and did the best they could with what they had. However, the research shows, Gen Y is following that example by doing the best they can with what they have: more technology, more connectivity, and the benefit of their elders' experiences. Millennials understand the value of age and experience and want us all to work together on this new future. A 25-year-old entrepreneur says, "There is such an abundance of information today, but a shocking shortage of wisdom. Boomers and Gen X, We Need You!" However, what is pretty silent in their responses to research and studies are their thoughts about education, spirituality, family, and geopolitical aspects of the world they embrace. Perhaps these are areas that the “wisdom” they are requesting from the Boomers and Gen X can be of value. Layering accumulated knowledge and experiences from generation to generation is how we evolve. It's how we improve the experience of being human. Let's partner up with these young people and create a better world together. We can all learn from one another. Have you read my article about Easter Symbols: Religious and Non-Religious - Any Connection? Read the full article

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Easter Symbols: Religious and Non-Religious - Any Connection?

There are many religious symbols and traditions that surround Easter: Lent Season, Holy Week, Good Friday and the image of the cross, or Easter Sunday and the empty tomb. Also, there are non-religious symbols and traditions observed across the globe. These include the Easter bunny, colored eggs, gift baskets, and flowers. Are there any relationships between the two? Sort of like Santa Claus brings gifts on Christmas (or we give gifts to each other) emulating the gift God gave man on Christmas – His Son as the savior of the world. How Did a Rabbit Distributing Eggs Become a Part of Easter?  There are several reasons for the rabbit, the most obvious is the hare’s fertility.  Easter comes during spring and celebrates new life. The Christian meaning of new life through Christ and a general emphasis on new life are different, but the two gradually merged. Any animals (like the hare) that produced many offspring were easy to include. The hare is also an ancient symbol for the moon. The date of Easter depends on the moon. This may have helped the hare to be absorbed into Easter celebrations. The hare or rabbit’s burrow helped the animal’s adoption as part of Easter celebrations. Believers saw the rabbit coming out of its underground home as a symbol for Jesus coming out of the tomb. Perhaps this was another case of taking a pre-existing symbol and giving it a Christian meaning. The Easter hare came to America with German immigrants, and the hare’s role passed to the common American rabbit. Originally, children made nests for the rabbit in hats, bonnets, or fancy paper boxes, rather than the baskets of today.  What about the Easter Eggs? Next to the Easter bunny, the most familiar symbol is the Easter egg. Like others, the egg has a long pre-Christian history. Early Christians looked at the connection eggs had in life and decided eggs could be a part of their celebration of Christ’s resurrection. In addition, in some areas, eggs were forbidden during Lent; therefore, they were a delicacy at Easter.  In 1290, Edward I of England recorded a purchase of 450 eggs to be colored or covered with gold leaf. He then gave the eggs to members of the royal household. Once the custom became accepted, new traditions began to grow around it. Eggs were dyed red for joy and in memory of Christ’s blood. Egg rolling contests came to America from England, possibly as a reminder of the stone being rolled away.  What about the familiar Easter Egg hunt? One source suggested that it grew out of the tradition of German children searching for hidden pretzels during the Easter season. Since children were hiding nests for the Easter Bunny to fill with eggs at the same time, they were hunting pretzels, it was only a small leap to begin hiding eggs instead. Those New Clothes at Easter? New clothes have long been associated with the idea of newness and a fresh beginning. The familiar custom of having new clothes for Easter probably began with early Christians wearing new white robes for baptism during Easter Vigil services. Later, the custom expanded to everyone wearing new clothes in celebration of a person’s new life in Christ. The Easter Lily Flower? The Easter lily is another new addition to Easter celebrations. Throughout the years, painters and sculptors used the white Madonna lily to symbolize purity and innocence, frequently referring to Mary. This lily doesn’t transfer well seasonally, so nurseries couldn’t get the flower to bloom in time for Easter. In the 1880s, the Bermuda lily bulbs were transplanted in Philadelphia. A local nurseryman saw the lilies and introduced them to the trade. As a more practical consideration, they were easy to force into bloom in time for the Easter season to symbolize the purity and innocence of Jesus as the Savior of the World. From there, the Bermuda lily, now the familiar Easter lily, spread throughout the country. Have you read my article about The Extraordinary Everyday Hero? SOURCE: Richardson, A. E. (date). What Is Easter: Understanding the History and Symbols. Retrieved from crosswalk.com. Read the full article

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Linda Eatmon-Jones on Perseverance and Resilience

There is more to life than submitting oneself to hardships and failure. The ceaseless crashing of waves to a rock causes it to collapse. Yet there are monumental rocks in many oceans that have withstood this test. Author Linda Eatmon-Jones uses these objects to represent best the indifferent challenges of the world as we journey on life in her life’s work, “Touchstone of Resiliency”. The author emphasizes perseverance and resilience as two important core values for individuals to weather their storms in life. Life’s challenges often pushes people to the point of failure without recovery. But if one possesses perseverance and resilience, they will defy all the odds the world has to offer. Teach your heart to be stubborn and rise above any difficulties through the help of Linda Eatmon-Jones’ “Touchstone of Resiliency”. The book is available for purchase on her website along with her other book, “Touchstone of Selflessness”: www.lindaeatmonjones.com/touchstone-of-resiliency/. “Touchstone” Written by Linda Eatmon Jones Published by Outskirts Press Published Date: May 26, 2016 Paperback: $23.95 About the Author Linda Eatmon-Jones is a native of North Carolina. After college graduation she moved to the Washington, DC area where she ultimately married and resides with her family. She has over 35 years of experience and expertise in all aspects of non-profit management and for-profit leadership. She has a proven track record in executive leadership, strategic planning, fundraising, non-profit management with four DC metro area nonprofits and worked at the executive level in a Fortunate 500 company. Linda maintains membership with several local and national boards and organizations serving the needs of the DC metro communities and nationally, especially in the areas of child well-being. She has facilitated group dynamics classes using positive approaches to problem resolution. She facilitates focus groups for general research, product development and the data gathering for her books. Writing books about turning ‘lemons into lemonade’ has become one of her passions. Touchstone became the inspiration for a series of books on making lemonade and won the 23rd Annual Colorado Independent Publishers Association (CIPA) EVVY Merit award in the Biography category in 2017. Writing the book led her to recognize there are many Touchstones in her life. As a result, she now authors a series of Touchstones for Impact books on a variety of characteristics in people that have become change agents in the lives of many. She holds an advanced level degree for Management and Leadership Development and a Master’s of Science in Organizational Development and Knowledge Management. Linda is blessed to have a very large extended family and a loyal network of colleagues and friends. Read the full article

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What Is Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) Program?

The Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) is a refundable income tax credit for low to moderate income working individuals and families. EITC's refunds are offered by the federal government and many state governments. Federal earned income tax refunds' limits vary based on family size. The value of the EITC changes yearly: for the 2017 tax year, an individual with no custodial children who earned less than $15,010 can receive up to $510, while a married couple with three or more children making less than $53,930 qualify to receive up to $6,318. States that offer EITCs have various eligibility rules; similar to the federal EITC, refund amounts vary by income. Check your state’s EITC website for the guidelines. As of 2018, 29 states and Washington DC offer the EITC that is a percentage of the federal credit; 24 are refundable. In 2016, more than 26 million families received the EITC; however, about 20% of eligible workers did not claim the EITC. I ran a Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) program helping tax filers claim the EITC providing free tax preparation for people with low incomes, those with disabilities, and those with limited English proficiency in metro Washington DC for several years. I am quite aware of the number of people who are not knowledgeable about the program or the effectiveness of it, as a result, they lose out on a source of free income meant to help their economic situations. There is strong evidence that the EITC increases employment and income for participating families. It increases employment for single-parent households through increases in both labor force participation and hours worked writes Simpson N.B., Tiefenthaler J., and Hyde J. on The impact of the Earned Income Tax Credit on economic well-being: A Comparison across Household Types (journal subscription may be required for access), especially in households headed by mothers. While families in large cities are the most likely to earn the credit, the EITC is also a substantial source of income support in rural areas. Refundable EITCs may increase financial stability for single mothers with low incomes through increases in earnings, savings, and reductions in unsecured debt. In times of high unemployment, the EITC has provide an income cushion for skilled workers and married couples. An early assessment of the Paycheck Plus program, an EITC-like program for workers without dependent children, suggests that expanding the amount of the credit has the potential to increase earnings, employment, tax filing, and child support payments. The EITC appears to reduce poverty, with the largest effects among single-parent families. A 2015 report projects that increasing the federal EITC for lower-income families with children would reduce child poverty by 9% (1 million children). Many state and local EITCs are expanding to address the growing needs as the program continues to demonstrate its likelihood to reduce child poverty. I found when running the VITA program in metro DC, the EITC is often used to meet short-term and medium-term needs. Recipients generally use EITC refunds to meet basic needs, repair vehicles, and repay debts. Some recipients also use it to obtain additional education or training. Efforts to increase awareness of the EITC, such as direct mailings, has started to increase affected groups taking it up. If you qualify for EITC, do consider filing for the tax credit refund in 2019. Any of the free tax preparers or programs are aware of the program and can assist. Have you read my article about Planting Seeds of a Bright Future? Read the full article

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Planting Seeds of a Bright Future

“At the dead of life’s winter awaits a bright future — ever ready to sprout forth.” Spring is upon us, and the blossoming trees and budding flowers bring with them fresh beginnings and promising futures that we may reap. It is the giver and herald of hope and of prosperity that we thought have been removed from our lives. In spring season, we plant seeds and bulbs that will only bloom when properly nurtured. Some outlive the lifetime of humans, while others wilt after their short-lived prime. This thing we do during springtime is a firm representation of how proper nurturing of the seeds we plant brings us a bright future. When tended without fail, the seed finds its way to break through the earth while planting its roots deeper. However, the negligence of duty or a decline in interest causes it to wither even before winter’s arrival. We are the seeds we plant, hoping for a bright future. If we do not take care of ourselves, we are doomed to suffer from the obstacles in life. Yes, there are grim times that discourage us from reaching our prime. However, we must continue to thrive and grow with grace even at the sorry sights we meet. Remember, we are greater than the troubles surrounding us. We only taste defeat if we welcome them to pester what we have nurtured with sheer effort. Attaining the future we want requires us to withstand these trials. The hardest ones we have to endure are the winters of our lives, which are certain to come. To withstand winter’s chill, we must never forget to plant our roots deeper. Not only is growth measured in new heights, it is also measured in depths. This keeps us firm to our beliefs in life so that no winter will ever freeze our roots. We may appear dead during winter, but we are very much alive deep down. Even in winter, there is growth we can only appreciate in the coming of a new spring. If we have been faithful to the needs of our growth in all aspects, we need not fear the challenges that dim our bright future. If you begin to lose hope, remember the words of Hal Borland: “No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.”   Have you read my article about What Is Sacrifice? Read the full article

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WHAT IS SACRIFICE?

It is interesting that in all the definitions or explanations I researched on "sacrifice", both secular and non-secular, in dozens of dictionaries and in several languages and cultures. They all have one common area: “to give up something (including one’s life) for someone having a more pressing need.” There are not too many things we find in life that have universal meaning and translation. Here are a few examples: To give up something that is valuable to you in order to help another person. — Cambridge Dictionary The act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone. — merriam-webster.com The act of giving up or forgoing something valued for the sake of something with a more pressing claim.                                              — collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english The act of giving up something highly valued for the sake of something else considered to have a greater value or claim. — The Free Dictionary by Farlex To give up something important or valuable so that you or other people can do or have something else. — macmillandictionary.com/us Christianity - Jesus said, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me" (Mark 8:34). Here He lays down two elements in the conditions of discipleship, denying oneself and taking up his cross. The former means the renunciation of self as the center of thought, faith, hope, and life. The latter means the life of sacrifice.                                                  — biblestudytools.com/encyclopedias/isbe/sacrifice-in-the-new-testament Hindu - Sacrifice in Hinduism can also refer to personal surrender (of self) through acts of inner and outer worship.                             — Subramuniyaswami, p. 849. Islam - On the occasion of Eid ul Adha (Festival of Sacrifice), affluent Muslims all over the world perform the Sunnah of Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) by sacrificing a cow or sheep. The meat is then divided into three equal parts. One part is retained by the person who performs the sacrifice. The second is given to his relatives. The third part is distributed to the poor. The image of sacrifice that generally comes to mind is that of First Responders (or others present but not as impacted) coming to the aid of the victims and survivors: during a natural disaster; man-made tragedy; terrorist attack; mass massacre; at a war zone or some form of human devastation. While waiting for the First Responders, there are many ordinary people or passersby who see a greater need for their fellow man and start lifesaving actions. These are people who in an instance will relinquish, abandon, or sacrifice their safety and lives and do not see themselves as the center, only that of saving the lives of those in need. Many may become aware of a greater need of mankind during a troubled time via social media or other medium and will donate blood, money, supplies, volunteer time at the site, or set-up a GoFundMe page or Crowdfunding effort to continue to raise resources for the survivors, their families, and loved ones. Unfortunately, throughout the history of mankind, there have been numerous wars, natural disasters, terrorist attacks, mass shootings, violent crimes, assassinations, homicides, etc. However, we have seen thousands of men, women, and children worldwide sacrifice for their fellow man in ways that we read in textbooks. That’s what real sacrifice is all — about  a willingness to lay down one’s life for another. Have you read my article about Political Correctness Warning Signs Needed? Read the full article

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Political Correctness Warning Signs Needed?

The “Politically Correct” (PC) movement’s purpose was to bring historically condescending terms, offensive music and art, and controversial educational content to an end and replace them with more positive and less-offending references. Offensive and demoralizing efforts are wrong, but the censorship and deletion of words and phrases that do not contain the intention to demoralize are taking political correctness too far. The PC Mindset Discourages Artistic Expression. Imagine being so sensitive about offending people that we let the art we create be determined by the offended. New art would be restricted and old art would be censored. The creative ability would be limited to what is considered acceptable by everyone. We would be like the fool who tries to please everyone. How would music and art exist if the free reign of creativity ended? PC Policies Compromise the Accuracy of Educational Content in Textbooks. Material close to being offensive is removed or adjusted to satisfy the super-sensitive or to avoid any unforeseen complaints. For example, American Indians can't be depicted with long braids, in rural settings, or on reservations, even though many American Indians do have long braids and live in rural settings or on reservations. If the depictions of our historical figures are incorrect, then the new PC textbooks should ensure their historical accuracy and footnote each change appropriately. In addition, if the information is correct but is being altered to satisfy sensitive groups, it should be changed back, regardless of the offending potential. How far could this evolve if we continue to erase provocative and controversial details of our history? It dumbs down our textbooks, leaving them bland and far less interesting. This effort to cleanse our history is wrong, and it is killing our education efforts/system today. The truth has to be the truth — uncompromising for anyone's sake. We Are Taking It Too Far by Correcting Words That Are Not Intentionally Insulting. The word snowman is not offensive by any means. It was not created with an intention to offend, demean, or label any group. But the new term for snowman is snowperson. Frosty the Snowman, the children’s tale that familiarized America with the term snowman, was originally created as a Christmas song. It was not a story of a snow-woman. It was the story of a snowman. The name snowperson suggests that it is unisex, and to consider Frosty as unisex would numb the creative aspects of our holiday song and children’s stories of Frosty the Snowman. This is an overly sensitive effort to stop a word that has no offensive connotation and kill its creative and historical meaning. We are changing words that have no offensive value. For instance, because we as a society are so afraid of offending the super-sensitive — the word jungle is now referred to as rain-forest. What about the woman on the softball team who insists on being called the first baseperson? This term was not intentionally created to demean her as a woman; therefore, it should not be considered offensive and should not be changed. What about the woman named Cooperman who wanted to change her name to Cooperperson? They are taking the idea of sensitizing a bit too far. This determination to change the family name given to her at birth because of the “man” ending of the word shows the super-sensitive motivation. We need to stay within the original intention that political correctness was intended for. We, as a society, are so concerned about avoiding confrontations that we are going overboard changing non-offensive names. The attempt to avoid possible protests of sensitive pressure groups by sanitizing our language is, in my opinion, censorship. What was originally a noble idea, to remove blatant words of offensive meaning, has turned into an “over the top” effort to rid any words of possible controversy. We are regulating our ways of plain speaking, freedom of choice, and freedom of speech. If plain speaking is not allowed, clear thinking is denied. There are many examples of taking names with negative connotations toward a person or group and subsequently replacing them. Our history is filled with biased words and phrases that sometimes label groups inferior. For this reason, I agree that political correctness is warranted. What I do not agree with is the conversion of non-offensive words within our language and who then becomes the arbiter. Changing a man’s career name from trashman to custodial engineer is justifiable and is why political correctness was brought about. It is the oversensitive effort to numb out historical content, which is neither offensive nor demeaning, which leads me to believe that political correctness has gone too far and is now creating needs to correct when no need is required. Read the full article

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Does the Truth Have to Be Bitter?

We can all relate to times if we know that telling the truth might hurt someone (family, friend, or colleagues). We tend to mold it into something that sounds better but doesn't really get the point across. However, on a broader level, if you say the “wrong thing” (even if it is truthful) in America today, you could be penalized, ostracized, fired, or even taken to court. We've labeled truth-telling as "bitter truth" or "brutal honesty." There doesn't seem to be any value in terms like "Honest Abe" or "Can't Tell a Lie George Washington” or the many examples today of people returning thousands of dollars they’ve found, just because it's the honest thing to do. Political correctness has become the new way of truth-telling or acting today; it is the adoption of different words or actions in the attempt to not offend anyone — facts and honesty are not criteria in the adoption of the words or actions. In fact, most of the time we enforce this unwritten speech code among each other and it is absolutely destroying what is real honest reactions, responses, and helpful communication. Every single day, the mainstream media bombards us with subtle messages about what we should believe and what is “appropriate speech.” Those that would dare to buck the system are finding out that the consequences can be rather severe. People are not usually being hauled off to prison for what they are saying just yet, but we are heading down a dangerous path. On one hand, many believe symbolic speech, thought and action can engender a certain type of respect and loyalty from some people (important in their world) when they maintain these thoughts and actions. People will know those who go-along-to-get-along and avoid confrontation at all costs; however, that loyalty is fleeting as soon as the truth is acknowledged. Here are seven reasons why I've learned being totally honest and truthful is the best way to communicate with people: 1. When Asked for Your Opinion, Be Openly Honest. Don't sugar coat your answer to make whoever you're talking to feel all warm and fuzzy. Whether they want to hear the truth or not, they asked you for a reason. So, tell them what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. 2. Honesty Is Appreciated, Just Not Always Straight Away. The honest individual understands that what they say might not get the warmest of responses at first, and it may be emotionally painful to hear. They also know that once the initial shock and upset have passed, the other person is likely to thank them for not sugar coating it. 3. Some People Are Afraid of Honesty. Not everyone is quite so welcoming of honesty; there are those who will actively avoid individuals who don’t hold back with their opinions. They do this to shield their egos from words that tear down the un-real that they have built in their minds. 4. Honesty Builds Trust. Somewhat unsurprisingly, honesty engenders trust among people, groups, and organizations. When you know that someone makes no attempt to conceal their true feelings and motives, you have no fear of such things. Honest individuals know this and it gives them very effective relationship-building skills. 5. Honesty Can Hurt. Honesty can be hard to hear at times — when someone’s honest opinion conflicts a great deal with your own, it will cause you some level of hurt or distress. As a free-speaker myself, I still choose my words carefully so as to maintain a true perspective on things, while attempting to minimize the impact on the other person. While compliments are nice to hear, it's important for us to hear the truth. 6. Honesty Often Means Kindness Over Niceness. The old idiom "If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all." is not always the best policy. On occasions where something is going to be difficult to hear, it is still the right thing to say. When it is truly in the best interest of the other person and when they may otherwise be blind to their reality, it is kinder to be open with them than it is to withhold help and be nice instead. 7. Honesty Is Valued by Society. We all want honesty and integrity to prevail throughout society; we want our politicians, our businesses, and our communities to be open and transparent. We dislike hidden agendas, misleading information, and fraud. An honest person comprehends this better than most and will always strive to encourage greater honesty through their own actions. Do not let this type of symbolism continue to run rampant and be the enemy of the real truth in your lives. Most people quietly fall in line with this unwritten speech code and are honestly having a difficult time sorting out the real truth. Being an advocate of truth and of honesty are always the best policy. Read the full article

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Mr. Common Sense

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed until I ran across this obituary and thought I‘d pass it on via my blog. The Author is unknown but the message is timeless. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance because Mr. Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations. Obituary - Mr. Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Mr. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Mr. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Mr. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and, criminals received better treatment than their victims. He took a beating when you couldn't legally defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. He finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge financial settlement. Mr. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Mr. & Mrs. Truth and Trust; his wife, Mrs. Discretion; his daughter, Ms. Responsibility; and his son, Mr. Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim. -Author unknown Have you read my blog about The Gratitude of Struggle? Read the full article

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The Challenges Change Brings - The Power of an Imaginary World

As we are deluged with endless sources of information today, knowing what is real or not has become extremely complicated. Plato’s "Allegory of the Cave" (from the Republic) has a timeless message. Socrates is talking to Plato’s brother, Glaucon, and is telling him a fable to illustrate what being confronted with change is like. The Allegory of the Cave While describing the fable, Socrates asks Glaucon to envision an underground cave inhabited by prisoners, who have been in the cave from their childhood with their legs and necks shackled by chains, so that the movement of their face is restricted, and they can see nothing but the wall in front of them. This restricted movement limits their visibility only to the wall, thus restricting the scope of any encounter beyond it. There is an enormous fire blazing at a distance, above and behind the prisoners, and between the fire and the prisoners there is a raised walkway meant for objects to pass. The shadows of all sorts of objects (animal, jar, or tree) fall directly on the wall. Thus providing the sole view for the prisoners, and say there were echoes/voices that came from the wall because of the puppeteer. The prisoners would perceive it to be the voices of those passing shadows. Hence, the only way for the prisoners to get acquainted with their surroundings is to decipher or interpret the shadows and consider them to be a part of the real world. They start naming each and every object, and among themselves declare the quickest one to observe the passing shadows and point out which followed after or before or were together as the winner, with intellectual knowledge and ability. Socrates further says, what if a prisoner is released, by someone and is forced to suddenly stand, move his neck, and made to look towards the fire and the objects whose shadows he had seen before. Wouldn't all this hurt and confuse him, if someone were to tell him that the shadows he saw earlier were all an illusion. But what he sees now is the reality and then somebody drags this prisoner to see the outside world and hold him in the presence of the Sun. He, like all the prisoners being accustomed to the dim light, turns his gaze away from the bright sun. His vision being temporarily overcome by the intense light, the outside world was beyond his comprehension. Slowly, he gets used to the existence of the new world, which delineates the fallacy of what's inside the cave. Now, on an intellectual journey, he discovers the real shadows of the outside world: the reflection of objects in the water, the beauty of Mother Nature, skies, stars, moon, and an almost divine experience of the newly found mystical world. Next, he begins to study the Sun and its surroundings. He reasons the Sun as the cause of all things, from the seasons to the years. All of this, his fellow prisoners are unaware of. He considers himself lucky and blessed, for the change he undergoes and pities the prisoners living in the same old habitat. In his old situation, he remembers how they would compete to recognize each passing shadow that of which is nothing compared to what he is able to grasp and see now. Now, what if this prisoner was to return to the cave, and find the other prisoners busy competing and asking him to join in, wouldn't the shadows appear blur to him because his sight is still weak by the sudden exposure and before he could adjust to the darkness, the prisoners start to ridicule him for having lost his eyesight. They would remark that it would have been better if he had stayed in the cave. And, if someone were to repeat this or release another prisoner, that culprit should be caught and put to death. He tries to persuade his companions, that outside there is a more real world, and what they saw were mere shadows of the real objects. He tries to point out the deep-rooted ignorance of the fellow prisoners, who are trapped within their own confinement of pseudo-intellectualism. But, the prisoners try to resist enlightenment and condemn him for moral misconduct and loss of ethical values. Possible Interpretations Individual: All of us have an individual "cave" of our own, where we live a comfortable, happy, and familiar life. But, in reality, we are "prisoners of the truth." Most people live in a world of relative ignorance (inside our cave of ideas, thoughts, actions, & deeds). We are comfortable with that ignorance because it tends to be all we know/experience.  We even rationalize our "shadows of objects" and make it our reality and reinforce imprisonment. When we first start facing the truth, the impetus needed for change, the process may be frightening and many people run back to their old lives/situations. But, if one continues to seek the truth, broaden our knowledge base and experiences, one will eventually be able to handle the truth, including new things and experiences better. Once one has tasted truth, one does not ever want to go back to being ignorant. Political: If we were to interpret the allegory in a political sense, then most of us would find it to be well grounded in logic and reason. Where politicians resemble the puppeteer who cast or control what we should and shouldn't see. They manipulate the masses who perceive the shadows they see as reality. The prisoners who are content with what they have, rarely question or doubt the leaders and their political motives. Plato argues that the one who is aware of the truth should be the one in charge of leading society. As they rule to make the truth known to all alike, without exploiting or misleading the masses. Religious: This cave metaphor can also be interpreted on religious grounds, where understanding the existence of a higher power is limited to the prisoners living within the boundaries of the cave. The prisoners view the shadows as real objects. They claim to understand the world based on these shadows and so are not able to perceive the truth (true evil). Anything that goes beyond these values, tends to lie in the domain of unconventional thoughts, which can be resisted or opposed by powerful religious leaders (false prophets), who decide and control, what human beings believe or see. When the situation changes and one prisoner is set free, at first he finds it difficult to adjust but slowly starts searching and questioning previous reality/doctrines. The free man then feels that it is his moral duty to go back and make others aware of the truth that he has just discovered, whether they are worth saving or not. They might deny or hurt him. Still, the man enlightened with the truth wants to help the ignorant society. The creativity of Plato, along with his deep understanding of human nature, compels him to create a scenario which shows mankind the true picture of the power of an imaginary world. We all may acquire and comprehend the world around us by our experience of physical objects, but it would be a mistake to limit ourselves to the conventional thoughts indentured by our stubbornness towards change. Have you read my article, Truth-telling? Read the full article

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Who Is This St. Valentine?

It is the month when cut-out hearts, figures of Cupid, bouquets of flowers, and mouthwatering chocolates meet our eyes everywhere we turn to. Some have probably sorted out their surprises from A to Z, while some are still caught in the frustration of planning a perfect date. The month of love is upon us! As we celebrate all forms of love on the 14th of February, some are completely oblivious to the reason why we celebrate Valentine’s Day. So, why do we celebrate Valentine’s Day? Besides, who is this St. Valentine we are celebrating? A priest of Rome or a former Bishop of Terni, St. Valentine, officially recognized as Saint Valentine of Rome, is a Roman saint of the 3rd century. His devotion and faith caused him perilous endeavors—converting pagans to Christianity. Eventually, he met his demise due to his faith that never wavered. There is only a scant of information about his life. Also, St. Valentine’s life has been confused with other saints who bear the same name, resulting in some inconsistencies. However, a grain of truth was plucked from the confusing inconsistencies. During the third century, converting people into Christians was illicit. As a man with an unshakeable devotion to God, St. Valentine persisted to spread the word of God. Thereafter, he was on house arrest of Judge Asterius. He discussed faith and the validity of Jesus with the judge. Unbelieving, the judge decided to put the saint’s faith to test. If he succeeds in restoring the vision of the judge’s blind daughter, the judge vowed to grant what the saint wanted. St. Valentine laid his hand on the blind girl’s eyes and performed a miracle. The girl recovered her sight. The miracle humbled Judge Asterius, and he obeyed the requests of the saint: break the idols in the house, fast for three days, and become baptized. The judge’s family and 44 members of the household did as they were told. With a newly baptized faith, the judge restored the freedom of all Christian inmates. Later on, he was arrested again by the order of Emperor Claudius Gothicus (Claudius II), also known as Claudius the Cruel). The emperor was seething with rage when his soldier refused to join his military league. He assumed it was because of their strong attachment to their wives and families. As a consequence, he banned marriage in Rome. St. Valentine perceived the decree unjust and defied the emperor. He continued to wed young couples in secrecy. His actions were soon discovered. The emperor’s wrath showed no trace of mercy and ordered him to be beaten with clubs and have his head cut off. His untimely death was carried in the latter years of the 3rd century (between 270-279) on February 14. Legend has it that, before his death, he made friends with people at the jail. And, on the day of his death, he left a farewell note for a jailer’s daughter. He signed it “From Your Valentine.” For his saintly deeds, he was named saint. In St. Valentine’s memory, we celebrate the courage to love on his death day—an absolute reminder that no amount of cynicism nor decree rooted in hate will ever constrain the gestures of love. Have you read my article about Political Correctness (PC) yet? Read the full article

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Gratitude in Difficult Times

Over just the past twelve months, we have seen or personally experienced higher rates of tragedies: senseless loss of life, physical, emotional or mental health concerns or just the lack of joy in our lives. Last year, there were eight shootings at US schools that resulted in injury or death; most notably a gunman opened fire at a high school in Florida on Valentine’s Day killing 17 students and staff; or the senseless killing of 11 Jewish worshippers and wounding several others at a synagogue in Pittsburg, PA. Natural disasters have rendered thousands around the world homeless. Thousands lost homes from mudslides caused by heavy rains and wildfires in Southern California. A gunman attacked the Intercontinental Hotel in Kabul, Afghanistan, killing at least 18 people. Five passengers died when a New York City sightseeing helicopter crashed in the East River. An Amtrak train collided with a freight train in South Carolina, killing several and seriously wounding at least 70. At least six people were killed when a pedestrian bridge collapsed onto a road near Florida International University in Miami, and a Saratov Airlines plane crashed near Moscow, killing all 71 people on board. Unfortunately, the list goes on. Regrettably, this daily infusion of news has become the new normal—the sadness finds you wherever you are. How does one live with a grateful perspective on life in the face of demoralization? Studies do show us that gratitude and a deep-rooted faith in God have the power to energize. In the face of brokenness, gratitude has the power to heal. In the face of despair, gratitude has the power to bring hope. In other words, gratitude can help us cope with hard times. Being grateful or feeling grateful is not about the “circumstance nor the “situation” but in your perspective of the situation. Few will suggest that gratitude will come effortlessly or naturally in a crisis. Even people of deep spiritual faith, find it hard to feel grateful that they have lost a job, a home, good health or they have a devastating financial loss. However, it is important to make a distinction between feeling grateful and being grateful. We don’t have total control over our emotions. We cannot easily will ourselves to feel grateful, less depressed, or happy. Feelings follow from the way we look at the world, thoughts we have about the way things are, the way things should be, and the distance between these two points. Being grateful is a choice, a prevailing attitude that endures and is typically not susceptible to the gains and losses that flow in and out of our lives. When disaster strikes, gratitude provides a perspective from which we can view life in its entirety and not be overwhelmed by temporary circumstances. This perspective is hard to achieve—but research says it is worth the effort.  How Do You Maintain Perspective? Trials and suffering can actually refine and deepen gratefulness if we allow them to show us not to take things for granted. Our national holiday of gratitude, Thanksgiving, was born and grew out of hard times. The first Thanksgiving took place after nearly half the pilgrims died from a rough winter and year. It became a national holiday in 1863 in the middle of the Civil War and was moved to its current date in the 1930s following the Great Depression. When times are good, people take prosperity for granted and begin to believe that they are invincible. In times of uncertainty, though people realize how powerless they are to control their own destiny. If you begin to see that everything you have, everything you have counted on, may be taken away, it becomes much harder to take it for granted. So, a crisis can make us more grateful—but research says gratitude also helps us cope with a crisis. Consciously cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” builds up a sort of psychological immune system that can cushion us when we fall. There is scientific evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress, whether minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals. If you are troubled by an open memory or a past unpleasant experience, you might consider trying to reframe how you think about it using the language of thankfulness. The unpleasant experiences in our lives don’t have to be of the traumatic variety in order for us to gratefully benefit from them. Whether it is a large or small event, here are some additional questions to ask yourself: What Lessons Did the Experience Teach Me? Can I find ways to be thankful for what happened to me now even though I was not at the time it happened? What ability did the experience draw out of me that surprised me? How am I now more the person I want to be because of it? Have my negative feelings about the experience limited or prevented my ability to feel gratitude in the time since it occurred? Has the experience removed a personal obstacle that previously prevented me from feeling grateful? Remember, your goal is not to relive the experience but rather to get a new perspective on it. Simply rehearsing an upsetting event makes us feel worse about it. That is why catharsis has rarely been effective. Emotional venting without accompanying insight does not produce change. No amount of writing about the event will help unless you are able to take a fresh, redemptive perspective on it. Coupled with faith, this is an advantage that grateful people have—and it is a skill that anyone can learn.   Have you read my article about Grateful for Words of Encouragement?  Read the full article