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Gif commissions open

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I’m so sorry. I had to.

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The worst characters are the ones were you only get like three pieces of lore about them but the lore is so fascinating and hits your brain at just the right angle to have you behaving like a feral dog in front of your conspiracy theory cork board

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all politics about ai aside if you use it to create fanwork you're just a fucking dweeb

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Not to sound mushy, but stories about two lonely characters from vastly different worlds finding solace with each other always appeal to me

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I hate this so much I'm literally nosy.. let me see

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Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 (dev. Sandfall Interactive)

↳ Approaching The Monolith

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Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 | 9 of ?

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“I don’t like this song because I can’t relate to it” skill issue. I’m mad at my husband I love my girlfriend I’m a lone cowboy I’m growing old I’m growing up I’m depressed I love my friends I’m perpetually horny I’m drunk at the club I love my husband again

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Thinking about Clea’s need for control and also her penchant for Horrible Monsters.

She really is her father’s daughter, huh?

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“she’s not evil she’s traumatized” actually she’s both. women contain multitudes

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Useless Veilguard fact of the day: Day 2

There is a cut line in the script where a Dalish (?) Rook could tell a momma joke to someone in elven.

Check out the tag for more useless facts: #useless davg fact of the day!

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"I've seen merill be float around as a mage betrayer" I feel like this fandom thinks "mage being involved in shady magic" = betrayal.

extra wild considering how many people dickride blood magic specifically, but also not surprising to see people interpret “this hussy character acted in a way that made me experience a complex thought and or feeling instead of falling in line with exactly what I, a pure and righteous soul with all the answers and all the Correct Opinions, would have done in her situation… what a betrayal after I was so kind to let her be in my game…”

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I have been in my mind palace, building my pretend Florrick-Ulder Buddy Cop dollhouse and filling it with my favorite things: drama, female background characters and crackships thereof, and elaborate Mad Libs stories cobbled together from vaguely-defined Lore. Also, a special guest star: Helia, the halfling werewolf character scrapped early in development

Brain dump below

as usual, Lore Mistakes are just part of the AU so I'm not worried about it

The first question is of course "when could it have been possible for Florrick and Ulder to Buddy Cop Adventure together?" Placing Ulder at about 55 years old as of 1492, if I wanted him to be about 20 during the adventure (a few years of "adult" life under his belt, but a Fist grunt still, yearning for a role model), that would take me back to 1457.

Florrick's age is less important to nail down, but according to my headcanon placing her around 125 years old in 1492, she'd be around 90 in 1457. I'm still workshopping exactly what I think her life course was in Baldur's Gate - my firm headcanon is that she was born and raised in the Forest of Tethir, and left as a young adult to pursue travel and magical education, but when exactly she ended up in the Gate and what exactly she was up between then and ~1480 is TBD. Regardless, by 1457, she's long since completed a wizardry apprenticeship, and having attained the rank of Flaming Fist Manip, she has young Ulder under her command.

Landing the timing in 1457 is convenient, because upon googling the historical events of Baldur's Gate, I found that there was as significant event around 1450: the attempted coup by Duke Valarken, in which he was supported by a group of lycanthropes in his attempt to overthrow the Council of Four and become sole leader of Baldur's Gate. Following this, the Parliament of Peers was formed and the office of Grand Duke, created. Certainly, the ensuing decade or so was a time of great turmoil as the dust settled - the perfect time for the dynamic duo and a friendship of a lifetime to form.

That timing and event is also convenient, because what other female background character am I in love with, whom I also lightly ship with my beloved Florrick?

Dalyria - according to her journal, once the Physician General to the Parliament. When exactly she was turned and enslaved by Cazador is unknown, but it must have been sometime after 1450 for her title to even exist. Which means she could certainly have "gone missing" in, say, 1457, and, say, leave a lover reeling and desperate for closure...

This setup is great because it gives Florrick and Ulder something to be buddy-cop about: a high-profile missing persons case, with perhaps more of a heart than Florrick wants to share with this kid, and a dynamic formative event for the young Ravengard.

With limited clues to go off of, the streets teeming with the big and little fishes of the city snapping up whatever scraps of power they can find, etc etc etc, obviously Florrick and Ulder would need companions in this quest.

So, who else could have been a) alive and b) active and c) potentially helpful and/or suspicious in Baldur's Gate in 1457?

Obviously Jaheira is always around for whatever bullshit is assailing the city she has, perhaps, only recently settled in permanently to take over an old family home and, perhaps, raise some orphans. Certainly, she'd answer the call to help her old uh *cough* friend Florrick in her time of need. Could the Bhaalists be back at it, aiming to pick off the parliament one by one? Not on Jaheira's watch!! At about 110 years old, Jaheira is also probably in her MILF prime at this point (before ascending to her GILF prime in BG3). Not relevant, just FYI.

On the 'suspicious' front, we have Araj Oblodra, eccentric apothecary of the Lower City. Living in exile since her House was cast into the Clawrift in 1358 (an event she was alive, but not present, for), perhaps Araj is unduly invested in finding the vampire coven physician general, and her alchemical skills as well as proficiency as a rogue are too compelling to pass on, sketchy as she is. I didn't get much farther than that, but she's sexy and I love her, so she gets to be a main character.

In my mind, the ideal "party size" would be 5, so who else? There are a few other options - Volo is certainly around somewhere and definitely not minding his business, Elminster must be lurking as usual, Abdel Adrian probably cares about this, etc - but I just didn't want any more elves or wizards. But wait, did I say lycanthropes were behind the failed coup?

You know who's a werewolf? Helia, the halfling bard orgin/companion scrapped early on in development. Listening to her datamined dialogue, she seems to have been a scrappy, no-nonsense kind of gal and an older lady in 1492, so a young woman in 1457. Pending more research on the context of werewolves/lycanthropes in the Forgotten Realms world, but perhaps she's been wrongly imprisoned since the failed coup. Perhaps, suspecting a second attempt by the same group could be behind the attack on the parliament, she's busted out of prison by a pair of enterprising young Fists, promising a chance to earn her freedom.

This will probably just remain a Concept, so I don't want to get myself bogged down in Plot, but there's really only one conclusion:

In the end, the investigators are thwarted by Cazador Szarr, who is too wealthy and powerful to convince the Parliament and Council to take on. The case of the missing Physician General is closed - ruled a suicide, likely, based on bunk evidence - and a broken-hearted Florrick and disheartened Ulder have no consolation except the friendship they've forged, and a promise to one another:

That, even if it takes half a century, they will work together to see Baldur's Gate to a more just future.

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this diva is the DAV Marian Hawke to me, I watched the blighted dragon trailer like 10 times pre-launch just to gaze at her