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Are they stupid

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What I am gathering from current fandom discussion

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Long overdue update for the Swaggon mod that I wanted to make but could never found the time or heart to. Please enjoy.

CHANGELOG: - fixed portrait to show scar instead of suki - fixed dialogue so scar actually says his dialogues now - removed additional festival dialogue bar one for each festival - added 20 new general dialogues to make up for removal

(mod link)

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Where Do Humans Come From?

(CW: mentions of birth, violence, and cannibalism!)

Jevin folded his arms.

“And you expect me to believe that? That humans need a whole other person to make more babies? That they DON’T just shed some of their bodies on biomass and let it grow into a child? This is what you’re honestly expecting me to believe?”

He was sitting at a table at one of the bars in Keralis’ base, surrounded on all sides by other Hermits. Cheryl, the pillager bartender, rolled her eyes and poured Jevin a fresh glass of lighter fluid, which he took and sipped. 

“Yes, that’s exactly what we’re saying,” Cleo groaned into their palms, “That’s not how humans make babies.” 

“Okay, so, how DO humans make babies, then? If you’re so smart.” Jevin frowned. 

Keralis stood from his stool and sashayed over. 

“I will explain!” He said proudly, “I know EXACTLY where human babies come from.” 

“Do you, now?” Cleo sighed. 

“Yes, I do.” Keralis nodded. A few of the tendrils poking out of his back gave an errant flick, and he gestured with them and his hands. 

“So first, mama and papa meet, and they cuddle a bit. Then, they fight! The winner gets to carry the babies. And then, inside of the winner, it all happens. Hundreds of little whelps all snap awake. But no! They are tiny! So they fight, yes? All the hundreds of babies all ripping chunks off each other. They all eat each other’s bodies and souls until only one is left- the very strongest one! And then, uh…” 

Keralis scratched his head. 

“I think they punch their way out of the parent. It’s fine, everyone has respawn.” Keralis said proudly, “And THAT is where human babies come from.”

Cleo groaned and facepalmed. 

“That’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard,” she growled. 

“It’s not!” Keralis huffed, “Okay, Cleo, then where do human babies come from, hmmm?”

“They don’t rip each other apart! That’s ridiculous!”  Cleo huffed. 

“Okay. So. Like. Where? Since you apparently know.” Jevin said, slurping at his lighter fluid.

Cleo rolled their eyes. 

“It’s simple,” she said, “There’s a species of small, soulless, human-shaped husks that emerge from the ground. Like plants, you know? They gotta come from somewhere. So let’s take Joe as an example. Joe’s mum and dad wanted a kid, so they went to this field, found a husk they liked the look of, and both bit the husk and infected it with humanity. Perfect baby, ready to go. Then you just…raise it, I guess?” 

Keralis tilted his head. 

“...Inchwesting. And why has Princess not showed me the human garden, then?” 

“Because OBVIOUSLY the humans want to keep it a secret!” Cleo gestured wildly, “If your whole species went to one spot to reproduce, of course you’d want it to be extremely secure! I’m sure it’s a private, human-only server.” 

Keralis nodded, a few of his void-slick tendrils squirming in sympathy. 

“That does make sense.” He agreed, “Okay, maybe it makes more sense than what I was thinking.” 

“All of you are idiots,” Doc declared, stomping over. He had a martini in one hand and a Hawaiian shirt over his lab coat, and his fur was slightly soaked with seawater. 

He waved the empty glass at Cheryl, who rolled her eyes, HRMMPH’ed, and set to mixing him a new one. 

“Okay, smart guy, then where DO Human babies come from?” Jevin huffed. 

“Human babies come from eggs,” Doc said confidently, “I read it in a book. Humans have eggs inside them.” 

Cleo and Keralis shared a look. 

“I don’t think that’s right.” Cleo said, “I mean-” 

“I think Princess would have mentioned,” Keralis said, “I think Princess said it was a special thing, about mammals? And not having eggs?”

“Yeah, Hypno mentioned that too,” Jevin said, “It’s this whole big thing, with humans?”  

“No, they do! I read a book!” Doc insisted, “Anyway. As you know, when you have an egg in you, you reach inside yourself with a hand- it phases through, it’s not painful- and you place it in moss. Damp moss, obviously, to promote proper growth. Now humans don’t have moss on them, but I assume they use stone or wood or something.” 

“Concrete?” Jevin offered. 

“Or concrete. Anyway, the parents tend to the egg, it hatches. Baby.” Doc gestured. 

Cheryl sighed and handed him his martini. 

“Thanks.”

She shook her head, and the four hermits stared at her. 

“Something to add, Cheryl?” Cleo sighed. 

“HRM-HRMPH!” Cheryl snapped, folding her arms. 

The four Hermits frowned. 

“We are NOT idiots!” Jevin huffed. 

Cheryl rolled her eyes and went back to swabbing a glass with a rag. 

“Okay. So. I think…we are all…probably slightly wrong.” Keralis said, opening his comm, “But you know, I think Princess might-”

“Well hey!” xB said, poking his head around the corner, “You rang?” 

Keralis’ face lit up like a sunrise. 

“Princess!” He said eagerly, “Princess, you’re mostly human. Do you know where human babies come from?” 

xB stared at them. 

And he sighed. 

“Man, you’re pullin’ my leg, right? How old are you guys?” 

“We’re not,” Cleo said, “Care to enlighten us, xB?” 

He sighed. 

“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Okay, so, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much…”

“...And that’s where human babies come from.” xB finished. 

He was met with a deafening silence. 

Cleo sipped her glass of blood, and looked around at the other three. 

“Congratulations, xB. THAT is officially the dumbest thing I have ever heard.”  They groaned. 

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Grian three-ish years ago: hey Ren meet my friend Martyn. he plays fortnite

Ren a couple days ago: Martyn, I cannot bear to think of a universe where our souls are not tied. We're the earth and the moon, pulled into continual and unceasing orbit to one another. In your absence I become a lesser man. I will destroy the fabric of the world to bring you along with me, ignore the rules of the game. You will carry my banner, I will carry your soul.

Grian a couple days ago: hey what the hell

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Fish

The more space they have

The more life and beauty

PUT them IN your tub

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🎋BAMBOOZLER👆🫴🖐

Come join the Bamboozlers in their theme park, where they've got exciting rides, awesome builds, and delectable stone shovels! DISCLAIMER: Rides are still being beta tested. In case of injury or death, the Bamboozlers will not take any responsibility. Ride at your own risk.

Alternate version with mascot Jimmy in a fursuit (or feathersuit?????)

maybe the mascot suit isn't a great idea. i'd be terrified to survive in a life series with that thing

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I wish you coulda seen the look on my face when I glanced at Bdubs’ comment section for his wild life ep2

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This is definitely how it went down

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what is it with him and being strange and offputting

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Bro went from happy tree carnival to ᭙ꫀꪶᥴꪮꪑꫀ 𝕥ꪮ 𝕥ꫝꫀ ᥴⅈ𝕣ᥴꪊડ

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sub one floater spanner guys

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womanifold strikes again <3

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Today (July 19th) is Changing Places awareness day!

[Image description: a photo of the changing places toilet with the features listed below /end ID]

What is a changing places toilet?

A changing places toilet is a toilet which can be used by disabled people like me who can’t use a standard accessible toilet. This may be because someone needs extra equipment, and/or room for carers to help them. The main features of the changing places toilet are:

Lots of room! Changing places toilet must be at least 12 square metres. This means that there is plenty of room for a wheelchair user to turn around as well as room for up to 2 carers.

A peninsular toilet! This is a toilet which has enough room on each side were wheelchair to be positioned for transferring. As with standard accessible toilet there are grab rails on each side.

Accessible washbasin! The washbasin must have room underneath for a wheelchair user. An adjustable height washbasin is preferred.

A ceiling hoist! This allows people who cannot transfer independently to be able to safely get out of their wheelchair. A person brings their own sling which is hooked onto the hoist allowing them to be lifted.

An adult size changing table! This allows people need help with undressing to use the toilet, or help changing incontinence pads to have their needs met safely and with dignity. Without a changing table, many people have to resort to lying on the toilet floor to change their pads which is unsafe, undignified and unhygienic.

Why raise awareness?

The lack of changing places toilet means it’s hard for disabled people like me to leave the house. It’s limits our ability to socialise, access work/education, exercise, travel, and even attend hospital appointments. (In the UK there are only 93 hospitals with a registered changing places toilet).

I have to plan my entire life around the few changing places toilet that exist, which massively shrinks my world. It’s incredibly difficult for me to travel (less than 2% of train stations in the UK have a changing places toilet), go days out, visit the hospital, and otherwise experience the world outside my house. Hopefully one day every event like Pride or music festivals will have a mobile changing places toilet, and there will be public changing places toilet with 24/7 access in every town, as well as changing places toilets in public buildings like leisure centres, libraries, museums, cinemas, tourist attractions and shopping centres.

More info including what you can do to help the UK campaigns for more changing places toilets can be found at changing-places.org

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I’m a strong proponent of lying to get the help you need. I always try the truthful route first but if that gets me nowhere? Lying it is.

I think it’s important to respect other people’s time, wellbeing and money so I don’t do it in situations where I know I’m in the wrong, like if I want to get into a place just for fun and someone could get in trouble for letting me in wrongfully I’d rather not.

But sometimes people just don’t understand why something is important in your situation so you have to turn it into something they understand. When I lived in England I constantly lied about being pregnant so gas station employees would let me use their bathroom because for some reason they didn’t have public bathrooms.

Or when my doctor’s secretary couldn’t get it into her head that my stomach pains were very serious and concerning and insisted I couldn’t get an appointment this month so that evening I “found” a lump that I was pretty sure was nothing but it meant I had a reason to call her the next day and get a new appointment immediately and when the doctor told me the lump was harmless I could tell her what my real problem was and she immediately scheduled ALL the tests and examinations because she understood how concerning it was. I just had to get past the fucking secretary with a lie.

Fuck I even support that elderly man who lied about having four children who were stuck in a house during a flood but when the rescue team got there in a dinghy they realized it was four dogs. The guy knew he had to lie because he was too sick to help them himself (able bodied people in the area were able to save their own pets) and they wouldn’t have helped him if they knew it was “just dogs”. In the video the rescue team can be seen choking up and padding him on the back while he cries with his scared dogs in his arms. The team is clearly not mad because they can see how important the dogs are to him but I have no doubt he was right in thinking they wouldn’t have helped if he had told them the truth.

So do what ya gotta do and lie lie lie.

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can they make a being hydrated that doesn't have you pissing at emergency levels every 34 minutes

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jackelyn womanifold my favorite streamer <3