liquid-squidward

[liquid-squidward]

Urgent care is a very funny name for it because they do not treat you with any urgency nor do they care

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an ao3 interaction

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Dude, I only fucked your boyfriend cause I’m an empath. I wanted to understand you… forgive me for being a good fucking friend I guess.

[liquid-squidward]

evrybody hate me and want me dead. except for god he said faggot! you will live forever

[liquid-squidward]

[liquid-squidward]

hey sorry for getting really pissy at you earlier because I could hear you chewing. see I have a condition called [remembers pathologizing my behavior is unhelpful] it's actually because I hate you, specifically,

[liquid-squidward]

hey girl your pussy is awesome, where did you get it installed?

[liquid-squidward]

Weed gummy should cost 50¢ and be sold out of vending machines and at corner stores

[liquid-squidward]

[liquid-squidward]

dude your brave and loyal knight fucking bit me

[liquid-squidward]

If you ever feel like you’ve made bad decisions just remember that somewhere out there is a theatre director at an all-white high school about to choose the spring musical

[liquid-squidward]

can you tell which one of us is hikaru (´｡• ω •｡`)

[liquid-squidward]

Hi I'm 1 years old and learning to read through your posts. Cigarette.

very good job using your words! will someone get this toddling bitch a smoke

[liquid-squidward]

Being ugly is not an excuse. Most people are ugly. I’ve fucked ugly people and they weren’t virgins. They were whores. All things considered there probably is someone 5 minutes away dying to fuck you.

[liquid-squidward]

[liquid-squidward]

getting to know me for ~5 months or so then on month 6 things start to slowly click for you that ive clearly been trying to manufacture situations where you get struck by lightning

[liquid-squidward]

You dumb motherfucker life isn't about smelling flowers or feeling radiant sunshine on your skin or making meals with your loved ones. You idiot son of a bitch. It's about apps. It's about scrolling through apps.