little-jey

[little-jey]

Once a God

here's chapter 41 of my bigbang fic <3 like i said, i only have one more chapter in the bank until sept!! hold out until then, i'll start dishing them out again from then. the story's almost reached its climax and theres not much left to go <3

please follow me on twitter: 88lifeline for some updates, i wanna start posting snippets and updates on there if people start following me from this fic :))

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64818436/chapters/179738066

[little-jey]

y’all see it here first!!

88lifeline on twt, 88.lifeline on insta <3

[little-jey]

save a horse…

my insta is 88.lifeline and my twt 88lifeline :3 i’m finding it really hard to find atiny and moa and vips and other kpop fandoms so please share, and my commissions post will drop soon 🤍

[little-jey]

i can’t reach the txt fans on insta…. even less hope for tumblr somehow 💔

[little-jey]

when will the next chapter of once a god be out?? no pressure ofc i just love the fic and cant wait for an update

hi!! i’ve edited a chapter to post but i didn’t have good enough wifi for a week since i left for summer vacay, but now i do so you can expect another chapter soon :)

i’m trying to space out some chapters now throughout august… because honestly, i forgot my fic notebook at home. and i can’t remember everything t i had planned for the next part of this fic. i was so annoyed at myself and tried to write the next chapter and it just didn’t feel right and id be so mad at myself if i missed something i really wanted to write…

that being said i have at least four chapters to post, and depending on if i wanna continue the fic without my plan or not.. i’ll probably have to just update in a spaced out way until you’ve caught up to my current chapter

[little-jey]

i hate being an artist SO MUCH tell me why i’m being commissioned to draw this squid game guy i HATE WITH A PAASSIIOONNNN

[little-jey]

my sweet sweet boy. what did they do to you.

,minsu they will never make me like you.

follow me on insta 88.lifeline for more squidgame art :P

drawing vvvv

[little-jey]

555 good ending no games…

hear me out. mg loses everything, realises he’s got nothing left but junhee and the baby, and does everything he can to regain her trust and be there for her and the baby. he realises that streaming made him feel like he wasn’t cut out to be a father, but the moment he sees junhee sitting on a bench, heavily pregnant, he stands there like an idiot and stares for a solid minute and that’s the moment he’s dead set on becoming the best dad he possibly can.

junhee doesn’t forgive him at first, doesn’t even want him back, but this little shit is so good at worming his way back into her life, and god he’s so pathetic, god why does he have to be so hot?! and he just basically puppy dogs his way into getting her to at least trust him a little again, let him help around.

idk i could write a fic, and i fuckign will

i know insta isn’t good for artists anymore, but i decided to build a new page back up from square one and kill my old art account lol, so feel free to follow 88.lifeline on insta for more squidgame art <3

[little-jey]

updating once a god within the next few days!! idk if anyone here follows me from that fic but thank you everyone so much for being patient, just finished my 10 day fieldwork project, back now <3

[little-jey]

HI!!! i just wanna say how much i loved the recent chapter of your bigbang fic, i was giggling kicking my feet it was so cute!! ughhghsks i love how you write them so much, i can't get enough of their dynamic. i especially loved the end where they were outside ugghhghgh i cant they r so sweet, the way you wrote that scene was so good, i cant explain it well but it felt so safe and warm i loved it so muchhh. im not very good at putting this into words, but i love ur writing so much, i can't wait for the next chapter!!<3

hi!! thank you so so much for this, this is the sweetest pick-me-up when i’m right bang in the middle of my fieldwork. i did travel to another country without my laptop for fieldwork so that would explain the lack of updates, which im very sorry for, but i have zero free time with work! i hope you’ll all wait for me though for some more adorable gtop <3

[little-jey]

In sharp contrast to the previous anon, I don’t care if you take 100 more days for a single chapter, I will STILL log in and check every day because the story is really good and good art is worth patience! 💕 Hope you are doing well!

thank you anon i love you :)) which fic is this about? i have some free time soon

[little-jey]

Sorry for the inconvenience but I will no longer continue with your fics, I log in every day and I don't see any updates?

okay lol see yuh cuz 😬🫡

sorry for disappointing u 💞

[little-jey]

draw ur fave in ur current outfit <3 i think it fits him anyway

[little-jey]

my little princess jiyongie ^^

[little-jey]

pushing my girl jiyong agenda on tumblr <3

[little-jey]

It's the same anon again!

But apart from the need for control generally I'd noticed some specific things relating to Jiyong. I remember he was at this conference talking about investment for humanoid robots and he was like I'd make one that looks exactly like Jiyong, and then in a different interview he said he had this fantasy of Jiyong as his military jr and then both times said something (retrospectively very creepy) about how he could make him do anything he wanted.

The way he kept bringing up how light Jiyong was during the last tour, kept touching or picking him up without asking with this sort of glee-to the point that Daesung warned him off it in a very stern undaesunglike tone.

Then that one time around 2009 jiyong had started to say in an interview that sometimes in private he got a little anxious about how much seungri seems to like him but then probably realised how it sounded and cut himself off.

The one time Youngbae said that if they were all drowning Seungri would save Jiyong and be secretly glad he'd drowned out any competition for his attention.

anon, oh anon, these are beautiful observations.

these are such eerie moments that just show exactly how seungri worked, he always knew how to toe the line by ensuring his actions could always be 'played off' as something light yknow.

that humanoid robot one really freaked me out because you know he really would, and with how he still to this day name drops gd and seems to have this fucking delusion that gd still likes him, it feels like he still would do it if given the chance.

the military and picking up bit of this ask is what i kind of try to play on the most in my fic, because as we know i've written him to have this creepy (and not inaccurate) glee with having control over him and being able to do things to him (i.e. that moment where he could have kissed him and yet didnt- instead relishing in the knowledge that he could have done anything he wanted in that moment).

his behaviour towards jiyong is definitely creepy, to say the least. and the fact that dae and tae have both acknowledged this in the past honestly makes me pissed off with my own characterisations of them in my fic as being manipulated by seungri, where they try to convince themselves that their mentality is "worry about jiyong now, handle seungri later" (thanks to seungri expertly escalating everything to make jiyong worse and truly need their help, hence diverting attention from himself).

he's always been jealous of the fame and attention jiyong (and top) got because he knew he would never ever be able to live up to their legacies. he knew that gd and top could be very successful on their own if they didn't have bigbang, and that he would be no one. yes the great seungri did well, but respective to jiyongs albums, he absolutely dwarfs it. he couldn't stand that they were more popular, and he was so obsessed with that and money that it led to obvious things happening.

i could honestly go on about seungri for pages and pages but i fear people may get the wrong idea, so i shall end here, but my god. what a freak. his fans are freaks too, you blur out his face in a pic and the ot5 comments are SEUNGRI IS INNOCENT!!!!!! HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THE CASE HES INNOCENT KILLYOURSELFKILLYOURSELFKILLYOURSELFANDYOURMOTHER!!!!!!! he's not gonna suck you off for defending him love :/ calm down a little.

anyway anon you should totally dm me because i wanna know if youve seen anything else and you seem very observant <3

[little-jey]

The latest chapter of your Bigbang fic made the hair on the back of my neck stand up because I feel like this is first time I've seen someone pick up on an observation I felt only I had had, even years before the scandal.

Back then I hadn't wanted to upset other fans by pointing it out and after it seemed like it would trivialize the real issues at hand to talk about it.

But I sensed it too, that strange high from the idea of having control...in so many little things.

yes. a hundred times yes, reader. i love you for this because we’re clearly in the same boat. obviously with the power of hindsight it’s easy to say everything was SO obvious and why didn’t anyone say anything back then, but they clearly were not there to see bigbang’s fans 💀

people forget seungri was a really smart guy, and really talented too, but there was always this insatiable envy he just couldn’t get over, and that was his hamartia. it showed itself in small ways on stage when he commanded attention and diverted it from others, said things against the others, offhand remarks from bigbang. he clearly hated being “maknae”, as the oldest at home, he demanded respect and attention, and he realised he would never be anywhere near GTOP’s fame in bigbang. he had no control over anything in fact, and it drove him crazy.

but when he did have control, no matter how small, to me it was clear that it wasn’t normal how he felt about it.

thanks so much for reading my fic and leaving me this ask, it means so much to me :) i’m so glad i could make you feel those emotions just through my writing