littleredannalise

[littleredannalise]

I just need to write this out into existence because otherwise I will implode.

My sister is more stubborn than I.

She does not call her Mom.

"Mother", "spawn point", "the origin"

Names that for the woman who fed but did not raise her.

But I am older.

I remember before Mother had lost her color,

Before our home became shades of beige and grey.

I remember how she showed me how she struggled, laughed, and cried.

I remember our father was colorful.

Our home was painted in as many colors as the big jar of jelly beans in the kitchen.

7 kitchens ago, I was only allowed 20 a day.

Now I am grown and I have as many candies as I want.

But they are all empty.

All the color is gone and yet I cannot let go of that big jar of jelly beans,

In the hope that one day, Mom and Dad will come home

And all the color with them.

[littleredannalise]

there's something about having a mother when you're a girl.

black swan //Buffet Etiquette, Hieu Minh Nguyen // Nayyirah Waheed//turtles all the way down// the cradell, berthe morisot// ??// the witch// Kyung-sook Shin, Please Look After Mom// lady bird// Take Care: Mothers, Daughters, and Inheriting Self-Hatred, Ella Wilson