liztparadox

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vulgate lancelot, part vi

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The Love That Binds Us by CarpeDiemForLife

Everything you are

Is everything I'm not

Night and day

Light and dark

Everything I need

Is everything you've got

All your hate

And all your love

"Hate & Love" by Jack Savoretti

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demigodbeautiies’ end of 2024 multifandom fic rec list ✨

2023 version // this is a list of some of the fics i read and enjoyed in the past year, and if you give any of them a read i hope you enjoy them!

SIX OF CROWS

a path to normal by seimaisin (G | Wesper/Marya & Wylan): a beautiful, lovely post canon marya & wylan study

the city outside still sounds like it’s on fire by sunshineriptiee / @heypax (T | Wesper): wesper get kidnapped an inadvisable amount

One With Everything by samalander / @intosnarkness (T | Wesper): still ongoing but such a treat. jesper SHOULD be a ratty ass stupid delivery driver sometimes

Hidden Desires by Feriku (M | Wesper): god the miscommunication! the angst! the smut! it's all so fucking choice!

the thrill of first love by ofcoffeeanddonuts (M | Wesper): i really am just such a sucker (lol) for some first time fluffy smut

Don't Stop by Ciciwrites (E | Wesper): love me some semi-public exhibitionist antics

Baby, It's Cold Outside by @basicbard (E | Wesper): it's got wesper in a bookshop! forced proximity! wylan thirsting after matthias! breaking and entering!

All Eyes on Me (Your Illusionist) by osco_blue_fairy (E | Wesper): there's maybe a theme with some of these E recs but this one is just, very fun. does show!verse wesper in a way that lots of other fics i've read don't which is really fun

BBC MERLIN

Try To Change The Ending by phyllisverse (M | Merdred): i read this while suffering through the british train system and honestly it fucking cured me. it is everything wonderful about prophecy fics with messy communication and a lot of internal screaming

Skin Trade by @0hheytherebigbadwolf (E | Merdred): i love me some dark deep dubcon and this one's written beautifully

For King and Country by versaphile (E | Multi): phew i don't have a lot to say about this one other than the fact it's really hot and a truly delightful concept fun

OTHER

WINTERSTORY: OR HOW THE BOY KING FISHED THE SUN OUT OF THE SKY by perennials (T | KageHina): it has been a hot fucking second since i've read haikyuu fics but this one was sooo fun i love me a character study

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I'm following the story because it's evident that those in power are doing everything they can to prevent him from getting a fair trial. There were headlines yesterday about his "outburst outside of court" where he was "struggling". It makes it sound like he's unruly and crazy. I watched the video for myself.

He gets out of the car, sees the press, and attempts to communicate "It's completely unjust and an insult to the intelligence of the American people and their lived experience". One police officer has a hand around his neck. Another slams him into a wall. They push and force him through the door. They wanted a perp walk of him in the orange jumpsuit but you can't have that without the possibility of him speaking.

Is he hot? Yes. And he's lucky he's an attractive white man. No matter if he is guilty or not, they have their suspect and they're sticking to him. They're going to make his life hell and try and smear and brutalize him as much as they can. This story isn't just one of a dead CEO and a suspect. It's how the justice system exists to protect capital.

Do not let any culture war facades trick you. Stay on this story, keep the pressure up. If we can do this for Luigi, we can do this for the thousands of Black and Brown political prisoners that have been ignored by the media. The fact that we as a nation did not erupt in mass revolt after COINTELPRO was confirmed is an indictment on us.

The fancams, the thirst tweets, they are honestly good for media exposure. They communicate to those in power that we stand with this man as he goes before the court and it becomes a gateway for people to learn about his case.

He's not a meme, he's a real person who, whether he fired those shots or not, is going to shape class consciousness in this country in the digital age.

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i know there's a whole merlin queerbait discourse which is not what im going to get into but i do find it interesting that a lot of people use the excuse that 'the bbc didn't want any gayness' or 'the 2000s were unaccepting of lgbt characters/stories' and of course that is true, but most of my memories of early british tv include lgbt characters or storylines.

SO many times i think about some of the shows i used to watch as a child and realise queer characters and stories were included, but i never paid much attention to it until im thinking back and it's like 'omg they had that in early 2000s?! that's insane but so cool.'

there was doctor who, torchwood, eastenders, skins, hollyoaks etc. and like the first three shows mentioned are considered 'family' shows. those are just some from the top of my head and im sure there were some niche cbbc related short series which had queer characters/storylines too.

it absolutely isn't wrong to say there was a lack of queerness on tv because of homophobia. without a doubt that's true, but at the same time it's annoying to see people imply there were no lgbt stories back then

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1.05 || 4.02

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Thanks to @tongjaitongjai for the opportunity to draw something funny with them

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Mordred's lullaby — Heather Dale

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BBC Merlin + Text Posts

(Part 1) (Part 3)

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I said Every time I see

An AU where Merlin is literally a God in Mordred’s eyes. Like, a genuine God.

In this AU Mordred and Merlin’s relationship is not fucked up by prophecy. So, everytime, kindhearted Merlin saved Mordred without hesitation. And Mordred grew up in a Druid camp that reinforced the idea that Emrys was a literal god. So naturally, HE WORSHIPPED MERLIN.

Once Arthur became king and magic was legalised, Mordred came to Camelot to become a knight because that was the best way to serve Emrys.

But when he arrived at Camelot, he struggled to comprehend the fact that Merlin was… human???? A very clumsy one, in fact. The rest of Camelot, though might know about Merlin magic, did not know how great ‘Emrys’ actually was so they were just confused, concerned, and/or entertained by Mordred’s ‘crush’ on Merlin.

He would stare at Merlin the entire first meal they had together, and people would be like: awww, Sir Mordred is crushing on Merlin so hard!!

Mordred: Emrys??eats??food?Food??Is ?eaten?by? Emrys?emrys?consumes?meal????

Or when he saw Merlin tripped on the training field

Mordred: i think the area is cursed. Strongly cursed.

Leon: what—

Mordred: THEN WHY ELSE WOULD EMRYS TRIPPED?????

Arthur: So, how have you adjusted to life in Camelot so far? Is there anything that is bothering yo—

Mordred: Merlin

Arthur: what did my stupid manserva- I mean Court Sorcerer do-

Mordred: I saw him drank water today

Arthur:

Mordred: He just drinks water????? From glass?????? Like?? He drank?? Water???? You know??? Literal water????????????? For drinking???HE??needs??water?to??live?why??

Morgana: why did I saw Mordred ran out of the meeting room screaming that you guys are trying to ‘Destroy his faith in his religion’. You knights better not bully him because he is a druid and has magic—

Gwaine: I told him Merlin is not here because he needs to take a shit.

Lancelot: Hey, Mordred, I noticed that Merlin has not received the note I asked you to deliver to him yet.

Mordred: But I already send it to him?

Lancelot:

Lancelot: Tell me how

Mordred: I burned it at the altar

Lancelot: what altar—

Mordred: and pray to him, as one should???

Merlin: WHY IS THERE SOMEONE SCREAMING IN MY HEAD THAT I HAVE AN IMPORTANT MEETING TOMORROW AT NOON!?

Or when they went on a long mission or hunting and Merlin, out of his old habit, made food for the knights

Mordred: ‘this is the most excellent food ever had bestowed on me, I shall never forget about this Emrys. I will pray to you even harder. I am the luckiest Druid to ever live—- ‘

Percival: … is the stew that good?

part 1| part 2 | part 3

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LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!

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Thinkin' about how Merlin accidentally unintentionally turned Freya into a water goddess by the magnitude of his grief.

And how he might have accidentally unintentionally turned Arthur into the Once and Future King for the same reason.

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The real implications of Arthur never knowing

One of the funniest/saddest/most interesting things about the Merthur relationship is that Arthur has no idea how unequal it is. Like it’s easy to get mad at him because we see all that Merlin’s done and sacrificed, but Arthur doesn’t. From his point of view he and Merlin have a fairly equitable arrangement going.

Sure, Arthur sometimes abuses his position of power in petty ways, and that’s not great, but he also lets Merlin get away with pretty much whatever. He lets Merlin talk back to him both in private and in front of people, which is a huge deal. Arthur is the king/crown prince, and he lets his servant disrespect him in public. He lets Merlin disappear to the tavern, sometimes for days, without any real punishment other than some yelling and some unpleasant chores he would have had to do anyway. From Arthur’s point of view, Merlin puts up with his bad behavior and in return, Arthur puts up with Merlin’s.

Arthur knows that Merlin has protected him and remained loyal to him far past anything that could be expected of a servant, but Arthur has also protected Merlin past what could be expected from an employer. He’s committed treason for Merlin, risked his life for Merlin, risked war to plead for Merlin’s life. Again, Arthur doesn’t know the lengths that Merlin has had to go to, doesn’t know how much he’s given and sacrificed without recognition or reward. He doesn’t know that Merlin is risking himself every day that he stays in Camelot. He only knows that they’re friends (even if he wouldn’t always admit it) so of course they’ll protect each other when they can.

Arthur also doesn’t know that Merlin can’t leave. He doesn’t know that Merlin is basically trapped by destiny and under a huge amount of pressure to take anything Arthur dishes out at him. Servants aren’t slaves. They can quit. Most of them don’t really have many other options but Arthur has every reason to believe that Merlin does. Merlin could go work for Gaius full time, or just go home to Ealdor if he was ever really unhappy. Except no, he can’t, because then he’d be failing all of Albion and also Arthur would die.

Merlin having magic and being Arthur’s destined protector changes everything about their friendship, makes it distinctly one sided and unfair, and makes every less than fantastic thing Arthur has ever done or said to Merlin about a million times worse and more abusive than Arthur ever intended. And he never gets a chance to make it right, to see his best friend as he really is and do something about it because the stupid writers never let him learn the stupid truth until he was dying.

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nightfall • Gwencelot • Lancelot lives • S5 AU • M for sexual themes

Night falls softly on Camelot. King Arthur falls asleep. Guinevere looks back at him, and sneaks out of the room. The door closes. She walks down the moonlit corridors, she is like a shadow in her blue cloak. The queen is enchanted, she is false, but has never felt as real as she does now. Now she sees, now she understands.

Once, she doesn't know where or when, someone said: there is no right and wrong, only what is and what isn't. And her love for Sir Lancelot is here, has always been, it never left. All that is enchanted in Guinevere, and all that remains true, draws her to Lancelot. The door opens. She enters the room.

"My Queen? Is something wrong?" A lone candle flickers on his night table, warm wind blows in the open window. He sits on the bed, his white shirt unbuttoned.

"Nothing. I came because I want to see you, Lancelot. My heart aches, I missed you so much." She gently steps closer and caresses his cheek.

Heat flares in Lancelot's chest. All these years Guinevere had been cold, detached; he resigned himself: she wasn't his. But after her misadventures in the Dark Tower, she has changed. Now she never averted her gaze.

"My Queen...you cannot!" he whispers hoarsely as Guinevere's hand slides down his chest. She reigns over everything, takes over everything: his oath, his safety, his soul.

She chuckles faintly. "Stop it. It's Gwen."

She sets him on fire, she freezes him as she unties the ribbons, and the velvet of the cloak and the sheer silk of the nightgown slip to the floor, and her breasts and waist and hipline all in front of and for him.

"I order you to love me, Sir Lancelot." Guinevere lies down on his bed, spreads her legs and stretches her arms to him.

As if he needed an order. He enfolds her in his arms. "Gwen, Gwen, Gwen," he whispers as he kisses down her neck. Lancelot trades his life, Camelot's whole future, for a moment of her love.

Guinevere is enslaved, but never as free as she is now. Blessed be her Lady.

@merlinmicrofic

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So many ships

a collection of merganacore posts

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Rebloging this because its so good

Rarepair fave is def Merdred, those mfs had Vibes™ that were just.... Something else. Like, they needed to be locked in a room so they could either talk it out, fight it out, or fuck it out. Something. Anything. Because I really think if not for that goddamn prophecy, Merlin would like Mordred! A lot! Another sorcerer that's actually on his side, actively helping him! Tbh, I think he liked him in canon, even though he didn't want to, which just adds to the Angst of them.

Fave scenes of them are in "With All My Heart" when Mordred says he hopes he and Merlin can be friends and you can just see Merlin internally screaming at a volume to break glass, and in "The Drawing of the Dark" when Mordred asks why Merlin always thinks the worst of him, and again, you can see that moment of Merlin just being weighted by what he knows and being unable to say it.

And for a fic rec: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25627360 (it is smut, but there are also feels, and it's Mordred POV)

FINALLY! THANK YOU!

I really think if not for that goddamn prophecy, Merlin would like Mordred! A lot!

He did like him! He said it himself!

GAIUS: If Mordred wished Arthur ill, he has had ample opportunity to do so. He's a likeable boy, Merlin. MERLIN: I know. I like him myself, but I can't ignore what I saw. — From The Disir, Ep 5x05

That's what makes it tragic, they could get on, they could be friends, they actually have much in common — but Merlin can't afford to get close to Mordred because of what he knows/thinks Mordred's going to do.

Here's my thoughts about this ship:

Arguments in favour:

• ENEMIES TO LOVERS

• the delicate balance of power: Alex and Colin go on quite a bit about Mordred and Merlin's relationship in the commentary to ep 5x02. Mordred technically outranks Merlin, given he's a knight and Merlin is just a servant, but also Merlin is Emrys and, as a Druid, Mordred is aware (and likely in awe) of his role and power. And they are both the unwilling keeper of the other's secret, as they both have to hide their magic in Camelot. It makes for an interesting dynamic.

• Like I said, it's tragic that Merlin had to keep Mordred at arm's length (emotionally) because they had some common ground: they both loved Arthur — I mean they both cared about him, and they both had faith in him. Mordred believed that Arthur would bring about a golden age just as much as Merlin did! They both yearned for peace, and they both had to stain their hands with blood to survive. They both had to go through so much trauma.

KARA: You're a knight. MORDRED: That doesn't matter. KARA: Of Camelot. Why, Mordred? MORDRED: Arthur is a good man. KARA: I can't believe you'd say that. MORDRED: You don't know him. — From The Drawing of the Dark, Ep 5x11

• As with Sefa, I think Merlin could benefit from having a Druid partner.

• Merlin glaring at Mordred is pretty hot. He also gets slammed into a wall by him which, again. Pretty hot.

• They could literally mind-fuck each oth— [gunshot sound]

Fave scenes of them are in "With All My Heart" when Mordred says he hopes he and Merlin can be friends and you can just see Merlin internally screaming at a volume to break glass, and in "The Drawing of the Dark" when Mordred asks why Merlin always thinks the worst of him, and again, you can see that moment of Merlin just being weighted by what he knows and being unable to say it.

Both great scenes! I love all the scenes they have together, I think. The way Mordred always looks and sounds vaguely menacing without doing or saying anything outright evil. They way he is desperate for Merlin's approval :(

My favourite Merlin & Mordred scene has to be the one from episode 5x05 (The Disir).

MERLIN: It won't always be like this. One day we will live in freedom again. MORDRED: You really believe that? MERLIN: I do. Beat. They both look down at the grave. MORDRED: Until then, we go unmarked in death as in life. — From The Disir, Ep 5x05

It's a rare moment of bonding between them. Mordred appeals to their shared nature ("he was one of us") and, for once, Merlin puts down his defences. He offers Mordred a few words of comfort ("It won't always be like this"). And then Mordred hits him with that fucking PROFOUND line and Merlin doesn't know what to do with it.

This is not the horrible future-murderer he's made Mordred up to be in his head. This is a boy with hope in his eyes and kindness in his heart (still). It speaks so much of what they could have been if destiny hadn't got in the way. (I've also gone on about Merlin's complicated relationship with other magic folks in another post. Yes, I have many feelings about it).

I love that scene from ep 5x11, too, ("Everything I do, you think the worst") — probably my second favourite scene with these two.

It starts out with Merlin being so confrontational and aggressive, but it ends with Merlin deciding to trust Mordred, for once. Perhaps reluctantly, but he does.

It's tragic that he seems to open up to Mordred when it's too late. I've touched on before on why I think it is that it happens at this moment. Merlin has literally been in Mordred's position. In fact, some of the dialogue in this scene echoes Merlin and Gaius's confrontation in ep 2x09, when Merlin was ready to run away with Freya.

If that wasn't clear enough, we also have Mordred asking Merlin directly:

Tell me you wouldn't do the same for the woman you love.

But of course Merlin would. He has. Well, he's tried to.

But again, because of what he knows about Mordred, Merlin can't let Mordred escape, even though he gets what he's trying to do, and doesn't blame him for trying.

I also like when Mordred angrily confronts Merlin later in the same episode. His outburst shows how he is well aware of how unfairly Merlin has been treating him, and although he's been remarkably chill about it up until now, it doesn't mean he's not angry and resentful about it. He may not show his emotions much, but he's not unfeeling.

"You did it because you hate me", he says, and "This time you've gone too far!"

THIS IS A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH. It's also a reminder of how much Mordred has been putting up with — for all he knows, Merlin hates him for no good reason. I think it says something about Mordred's nature that he only truly snaps when Merlin's meddling threatens the person he loves. MY STABBY CHILD IS FULL OF LOVE OKAY

I just think they have such an interesting dynamic!

I can see why they wouldn't be a super popular pairing, given Merlin's attitude to Mordred in the show and what Mordred ends up doing. And also the age gap, I guess (I personally don't find it too weird because the actors are so clearly close in age that it can be easily brushed off, but I can see why other people might find it off-putting).

Fanfics

THANK YOU for the fic rec anon, I've skim-read it and it looks very much up my alley ♡

I actually haven't gone looking for many Merlin/Mordred fics. I've a read a few ages ago, most of them just short ficlets, but I only have one bookmarked. It's the fic that put Merlin/Mordred on my radar:

Set in Stone by EachPeachPearPlum (on AO3).

It's a relatively long fic (almost 50k words), so there is space to explore Merlin and Mordred's relationship.

I actually read it before watching the show properly (I basically watched a bunch on scenes from the show and dipped my toes in fanfiction before deciding to watch all of the series).

I haven't re-read it since, and I don't even remember how it ultimately deals with the whole prophecy thing, if it even gets to that point (I think the author meant for this to be part of a series but they didn't continue, although this story is complete). But the prophecy was addressed, with what I thought was an interesting twist.

(I won't say anything too spoiler-y in case anyone wants to check it out, but Mordred is actually aware of the prophecy and he even knows an extra bit about Merlin which Merlin himself doesn't know about. It's revealed pretty early in the story, so it's not really a spoiler).

It touches on some aspects of Merlin and Mordred's relationship that I find fascinating, so I think it's worth a read if you're interested in this pair.

Random lil' excerpt:

"I am not a child, Emrys," Mordred hisses, leaning in close; Merlin suspects he's going for menacing, but all it really comes off as is petulant, which sort of proves his point. "I was the last time you tried to kill me, but not now." And then there are words in Merlin's head, words he is powerless to stop, filled with a rage that is everything and nothing all at once. Keep your reasons to yourself, Emrys, but do not try to placate me with what we both know are lies. Mordred stands then, the expression on his face one of youthful rage, burning bright and burning quickly, and Merlin wishes he was right. If Mordred wasn't so young, Merlin could kill him without hesitation, could dream about him without hating himself (or without hating himself quite so much, since the fact that Mordred is destined to destroy everything Merlin is destined to protect is at least as much of a concern as Mordred's age). This could all be over and done with, one way or another. "Get out of here, Mordred," Merlin snarls. "You live because I let you, and you live for as long as I let you. Do not tempt me."

I JUST THINK IT'S HOT WHEN HE THREATENS TO MURDER PEOPLE OKAY

I'm just going to bring this post back to your attention. There are dozens of us! (people who find mean Merlin sexy). DOZENS

As a final note — my Italian brain refuses to call this ship Merdred. There's got to be a better name for it 😭

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I can't find good Merdred fanfics that aren't smut or bad ending :( can you help me? Thanks ❤️

Hope these help!

Speak Your Mind

It takes two (it actually just takes one dangerous magical dog)

Memories

Can Prophecies Be Defeated?

Set in Stone

We also have a Merlin/Mordred tag you can check out!