lizzywritesagain

[lizzywritesagain]

A photo diary of being the youngest who never cooks and living alone in the middle of a pandemic ✨

[lizzywritesagain]

I’m officially trying my luck in this adulting life 👀

A trusted source says it sucks i’m gonna love it.

[lizzywritesagain]

Fire.

Three years after graduating, I realized that one thing I miss the most about my college life was the old me. Sounds corny but it’s true that we tend to lose ourselves as we find our place in this chaotic world. We got too excited about leaving our university and being adults without realizing that entering this new chapter also means leaving the old one behind - Losing friends, getting lost, and losing your fire. 

This fire was the very reason why you’re excited to start working for a job you once dreamed of, to brush shoulders with people from the industry that you look up to, and the fire that keeps you motivated day by day. 

But it’s not your fault that the light from this fire started to dim, because we all lost our fire at one point. Maybe it’s a fire that needs to be refreshed or maybe it was a fire that was never meant to last at all?

At the end of the day, the fire that we have and will have will all depend on us. Just like anything else on this world, we must work to keep this fire alive. When it dies, relax, and light it up again. It’s called a fire because it’s meant to go out at times, but you can always light it up when you’re ready.

[lizzywritesagain]

Quiet corner ☕

[lizzywritesagain]

Accidentally took this photo, first thing I thought — tumblr material 🤧

Oh well, papel.

[lizzywritesagain]

Obsessed with my new icon 🥺

Can’t believe this artist was able to add my personality into a very plain selfie of mine!! ✨

Contact her and check out more of her works via twitter or instagram @haranikala 🥳

[lizzywritesagain]

Sometimes it’s all about fooling the mind — back for a new chapter of work stories, rants, and learnings!! ✨

ps. As much as I miss going out to work, after tons of covid scare last year — i’d rather stay cozy (and stressed) at home 🤧

Happy Monday!!!

[lizzywritesagain]

C M Y

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[lizzywritesagain]

Mind Blind

It has been three days when I discovered that I have Aphantasia - thanks to a tiktok video? Lol.

 As described by google, it is a condition where one does not possess a functioning mind’s eye and cannot voluntarily visualize imagery.

In other words, I’ve NEVER seen a visual image in my brain for as long as I can remember. I always thought that when they ask us to imagine the sea in every school retreat, or when they say count the sheeps when you couldn’t sleep – I thought it was all a metaphor.

Everyone else I ask if they see images on their mind are like super puzzled because as they put it - they can’t imagine not being able to see things in their minds. 

But maybe in my case, what would I know what’s missing if I haven’t tried it?

It also scared me since I venture to the creative world. It made me feel like i’m one step behind everyone else since I cannot see things on my mind.

But I did a little research, and apparently a lot creatives have aphantasia. It’s their way to creatively express their selves, since they cannot do it in their minds. Pretty cool right? 

In the span of three days, after trying and forcing myself to see things in my mind - I have accepted that this is me, it’s cool how my brain adapts to a situation and works twice as hard to provide images for me through verbal clues. 

Finishing this with a realization I read somewhere, Aphantasia is not a disability. But a different way in viewing things. :)

How about you? let me here your thoughts about this!

[lizzywritesagain]

Back to work on Monday.

Having mixed emotions but I’m honestly excited to once again keep my creative juices flowing ✨

Here’s to an exciting 2021! 🥂

[lizzywritesagain]

We will be celebrating the anniversary of being in quarantine in a few months, and it’s crazy how 2020 went by so fast yet it feels so heavy. 2020 was like a The Good Place episode but no matter how we say ‘this is the bad place’ - no reboots are coming.

So let’s have a short recap of what 2020 was like just like any other millennial in social media *wrapping up the year and what they learned as if it didn’t ruin their whole personality and mental health*

As someone who doesn’t really enjoy going out too much, I never realized that i’d get sick of staying indoors. It’s like the same old four corners 24/7 and there’s no difference between waking up and sleeping anymore. I’m lucky to be one of those people who’s job is feasible for a work from home arrangement. 

Even before the government declared a total lockdown, we are already work from home. And that’s the first thing i’ve learned this quarantine:

WORK FROM HOME IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.

I would definitely admit, work from home sounds exciting at first. Imagine not needing to get out of your pajama and attending meetings without traffic?? But I never realized that this means the absence of the line between work and rest. 

It was truly devastating especially at first. You’d wake up with emails, back to back calls and go to sleep anxious as if you’re still hearing viber notifications. Everyone just lost the concept of boundaries and they’re calling you 24/7 - even during Sundays just because they know you are home.

Lucky enough I was with a company that respects our mental health and does their best to fulfill our needs. I must say that we are spoiled. It was not easy, but i’m sure the load has been somehow relieved because of our bosses. They allow us to take a break when things get overwhelming, and they listen to us.

But despite all this, I also saw how this setup is not for everyone. I admit that it took me more than 6 months before I finally got a routine and was able to work from home sanely. And I also saw some of my friends and colleagues who never got to adjust, and that’s okay.

Work from home is more than just a battle for productivity, we must allow ourselves to adjust, take a break and fight. (idk that doesn’t make sense)

Aside from work, another thing that got a different definition is - Hanging out with friends, and being the KJ, homedbody, and low-maintenance person that I am - I learned that:

LOW MAINTENANCE FRIENDS ARE THE BEST.

I don’t really have that much friends, but i’m glad to have people I can always talk to as if I haven’t ghosted them for weeks.

I’m that type of friend who’d bother you out of the blue and disappear when my social energy runs out, but bounce backs again when i’ve recharged. And i’m thankful to have friends who are also like this - we never had those ‘di mo ko kinausap for a year tapos ngayon kakausapin mo ko as if kahapon tayo huling nag usap?’ - grateful to have friends who understands that we all have different lives and that we’re all struggling to live into this pandemic. 

What matters most is that i’m here when they need me - i’ll cry with them, laugh with them, and i’m here to celebrate their milestones.

2020 might have been full of “sayang offline si ano”, “guys e-numan sa sat?” (but no one bothers to buy a drink), “ano di kita marinig” “mumsh, choppy” - People who wants to stay in your life will stay and will always be there even if they keep missing your video calls.

Since we’ve talked about keeping friends, 2020 is also about losing things - and that’s okay.

YOU ARE BOUND TO LOSE THINGS ALONG THE WAY.

The most beautiful and heartbreaking thing in life is how nothing is permanent. So if you’re suffering right now - that will soon be over; same as if you’re living your best life right now, that will soon be over.

We’ve lost a lot of things - people, plans, hobbies. But what matter’s most is that we were able to live with it. Sana after 2020 we realize that a lot of things and people are not here to stay forever - so we have to live everyday as if it’s a dear diary moment.

and lastly, the most important thing (that I did not really learned during quarantine, but was strengthened because of this) i’d love to live by is:

IT’S OKAY TO NOT HAVE THINGS FIGURED OUT YET.

Being online 24/7 because of being at home (and bc of work) made me unconsciously compare myself to my online peers. 

How come they have access to this, how come she already has this - it’s crazy and hard to control especially when these content are bombarded to you without your control.

I use to think that maybe I wasn’t working hard enough, maybe I did not plan my life enough - so I tend to overthink and discover every possible scenario to have a life that would make me happy. But that’s when I realized that life isn’t about having to have everything figured out. Because the more we stress about the future the more we forget and miss the little things that truly matters. 

Your life is truly different from those you see online, and that’s okay. You don’t have to stress yourself out - instead enjoy every little thing, live your best life and figure things out along the way. :)

ofcourse a pahabol, the most important lesson from this quarantine is how we need a competent government that genuinely cares about its people more than their own political interest.

[lizzywritesagain]

To my new love,

You are not the best camera in the market - not strong enough to compete with the professionals. But just enough to capture things I couldn’t keep in my mind.

No matter how crazy 2020 was, i’m proud to welcome you in my life. A possession I could brag about that i’ve purchased from my own money. 🥺

2020 was a crazy year, but we weren’t able to take much memories with it. Now that you’re here, let’s face more crazy years with vivid memories. ;)

[lizzywritesagain]

Definitely one of the reason why i’ve convinced myself to write once again is this book by Sir Ricky Lee --

During college, I only read his works and hear his name during class discussions - i’ve always adored how it feels like he’s definitely born to be a writer. Sakanya ko nakita na may mga tao talagang pinanganak para magbahagi ng mga kwento nila. 

But after reading this book that he published last December 2020 - I realized that Ricky Lee is Ricky Lee because he fought his way up. And I will never be the writer I dream to be kung palagi ko lang iisipin at wala naman akong ginagawa. 

One of the most important thing na lagi kong naalala that sir Ricky says during his workshops (also mentioned in the book) - Write everyday even if it sucks.

So that’s what I am doing, writing just another piece of trash. ;)

[lizzywritesagain]

Dwell.

They say it is wrong to dwell on something that is not there anymore, but I will never regret scrolling through some photos and reminiscing the memories I had. 

Because of this quarantine, it has been my hobby to look at the ‘on this day’ feature of Facebook and Instagram. It’s fun to see what I was up to ten, five, or even a year ago! It’s amazing how things seem to go so low yet everything is passing by too fast.

In my mind all these people I met and hang out with plus all the memories and laughter we shared are still fresh. Even the pain and pressure I felt during some times, even the sadness! It’s amazing how I went through all that without even noticing, thinking how impossible i’ll get through some of it - but I did! *pats self*.

That’s when I realize that it is somehow okay to dwell on things even if they are not there anymore. I choose to be the person who chooses not to forget. I just prefer putting these memories on a different lane my - ‘thanks this happened but it’s okay if it won’t happen again’ tab. I choose not to hate people for leaving or not treating me the same after what we’ve shared. Because maybe that’s life right? we outgrew people, we lose some along the way, but the memories we had with them will be with us forever, and that’s it. But not being with them doesn’t mean forgetting.

I just wish our minds have the on the this day feature as well, so we can specifically look back, share, and laugh at the things we’ve been to since we were kids - wouldn’t that be amazing?

I hope this quarantine is also making you realize the importance of being alive, of appreciating what you have! Because there’s a reason memories are made, there’s a reason we dream - and it’s your choice if you want to forget or you want to hold on to it. 

[lizzywritesagain]

A new start

So i’ve decided to abandon my old tumblr account (lizzytearjerky.tumblr.com) and officially move to this more ‘professional’ profile where i’d post random stuff that are too wordy for twitter, or not aesthetic enough for instagram. 

See you around!