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Why I’m still mad at you (rant)

I’m mad because I still value your opinion even though you always have the dumbest ones.

I’m mad because I still take an interest in the things you like.

I’m mad because anytime I open my mouth to say something I think twice because I know you might use it against me.

I’m mad that you only called when you needed something.

I’m mad that you let your boyfriend (who had previously cheated on me) make fun of me for being depressed and kinda clingy.

I’m mad because I really thought (and sometimes still do) think you were a real friend.

I’m mad because everyone warned me to stay away from you but you still lured me in with kindness.

I’m mad that you actually helped me a lot.

I’m mad that anytime I get a twitter notification I get anxious because I think it’s you about to tell me off on one of your 16 accounts I still haven’t managed to block.

I’m mad because every time we have a small talk, awkward conversations I feel like apologizing to you.

I’m mad because you keep claiming I hurt you more.

I’m mad that you couldn’t say those things in person.

Im mad because every time I look at you I wanna cry.

I’m mad because when I finally got with the guy I had a crush on you weren’t happy for me.

I’m mad that you made me feel safe.

I’m mad that I let you in

Im mad at you because you called me shallow.

I’m mad because every friend I made you tried to make hate me (and usually succeeded)

I’m mad at you still because I keep forgiving you.

I’m mad because you claimed that you were more passionate about music even though I made music.

I’m mad because every sad song I hear reminds me of you.

I feel mad because I make so many poems about you.

I’m mad because you never really wanted me back after that first fight.

I’m mad that after 6 years of friendship you turned your back on me for being a bitch one night.

I’m mad that even though I’ve known you for so long I still feel like your a stranger

I’m mad that you hurt me

I’m mad that even after a year of not being friends anymore you stil look for reasons to fight me .

And I’m mad that you won’t leave me alone.

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The beasts treasure (dinning with vampires)chapter 1

In the morning, when I wake up I'd like to believe someone's thinking of me..

Kenna's POV

I woke up on a warm summer morning.The air was damp from last nights rain and the birds were singing their early songs.

I crawled out from underneath the hallowed tree stump from which I had been sleeping for the last three days. Stretching with a groan, I looked around to make sure I was alone. Today was the day to leave, my smell would have settled in to the environment and beings were more likely to find me.

I pulled the cloth closer around me and prepared myself for another long run. There was no time for a morning meal today.

With a few stretches and one final deep breath, I straightened my self for a moment and then began to move forward.

::::

I had been running for many hours and it was now mid day.

I stopped to rest and wiped the sweat off my brow, drawing heavy breaths. I was used to long runs, most of my life I had ran to place to place. It was something I was accustomed to now. Letting out a long breath I stood from the spot under a tree I had chosen and began to walk.

Coming across a clearing I stayed near the edge. You never want to walk into a clearing unless you wanna get caught!

The air had cleared and clouds hung over head as it was the rainy season and rained every evening. Looking around the clearing, I saw a lone dear grazing in the tall grass.

I smiled at the sight enjoying the complete beauty in the seen. Then suddenly the deer looked up to my direction, though it was far off I could feel it make eye contact. It didn't fear me at all, we were practically in the same ranks. For a moment our souls were connected and our breaths matched. Then that moment ended.

Neither of us had time to react to the large body and hand clamp down on the dear and scoop it up. Ceiling its fate. It was an ogre. I didn't give myself time to feel remorse before I quickly started running once again. Ogres never travel alone. I didn't get ten feet before a tree was harshly pushed over in front of me bollocking my path.

"You smell absolutely delicious." A gargled voice came out of the gray skinned bodied that stepped in front of me.

I could smell his putrid breath from where I stood and his eyes held my reflection. I had never come this close to an ogre before, but they looked like a giant walking infection, just as my mother had described.

I reacted as fast as I could turning on my heal and taking the longest strides I could. But I just could not be fast enough. A disgusting hand engulfed my waist and jerked me back. "Don't run away little snack. Look at this she smells Wonderful! What is it?" He had spoken to his companion, still holding a dear in his left hand.

"It is covered with that smell of human! So good, so warm and juicy!" The other one spoke, getting closer to me breathing in a long breath through his nose. Disgusting.

With a loud scream- and with my total displeasure- I bit the first thing of the ogre that I could come in contact with.

With a shriek the beast dropped me and I hit the ground hard. Knocking the breath from my lungs. I didn't give myself time to recover, before standing and moving away from them as quickly as possible. "Don't let her get away!" The other yelled lunging forward at me to stop me. Causing him to toss the deer aside, making it free to run freely.

I had hoped my luck would be the same. Tears filling my eyes I avoided the grasp of him and ran for my life.

Breathing fast and ignoring whatever pain was inflicted onto my body as I fled.

I can not die.

Not like this.

They were hot on my trail as tears fell down my face in fear. Sweat was abundant on my brow and my long knotted hair stuck to my skin.

I could almost feel their breath they were so close to me. I felt death come closer and closer, but I would not let up my speed or look behind me.

"I have you!" One breathed down my neck brushing against me and nearly grabbing a hold of my arm.

Just as I was ready to give up hope as we came across a new clearing, with long dry grass and the evening sun reflected off a small pond In The distance. I thought was ready to let this be my last sight, but they fell back with loud groans and yells. "Get out of there you stupid girl! Come here!" They screamed in protest.

Confusion swept over me as to why they stopped following me.

One finally jumped past the tree line to retrieve me. But as soon as he did he was stuck down by an arrow coming my right.

The ogre fell dead on the ground and the other ran away. I looked for the source of the arrow and saw a man.

A Tall, dark haired man stood there boldly, looking me over angrily.

"Who-no what are you!" He yelled towards me.

I hadn't any chance to answer him with my heaving chest rising and falling. I stumbled to my knees, trying to move forward and tried to keep myself up, feeling my normal instinct to run. But I soon had darkness fall over me and I fainted from exhaustion.

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Okay chapter one is done!!

I've been planning this for awhile and I hope you like it.

How can I approve?

What do you want to happen next?

[loadedmind16-blog]

She’s a force of nature that gets sleepy and giggly when her head is on your chest and your playing with her hair.

A lonely writer

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Your eyes are green poison, like ivy tangled around me.

A lonely writer

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Mulch

The taste of mulch

No maybe not the taste of mulch more like the texture that rubbed against my tongue as I tried to spit it out in a dazed confusion. It was hard to spit out because you kept your invading hand on my mouth so I’d be quiet.

Or the feeling of mulch and tiny wood chips hitting the back of my throat like needles as I took in breath to let out the loudest scream my little lungs could have made at the time.

Or mulch poking into my back and arms as a flailed around desperately trying to get away. The gritty grimes of dirt and wood digging and grinding into my skin because even though we were the same size you were somehow so much heavier than me. Maybe that was because you didn’t want me to move around to much.

Or the feeling of teachers brushing mulch out of my hair that you had previously pulled to get me to the ground.

Or coughing up mulch the next couple of days while adults at school either kept it hushed or forgot about it. Then adults at home shook their heads and labeled it “drama” and never knowing the real story and not feeling the need to because after all I was “pretty, for a six year old.”

I don’t like mulch much.

It’s ruined things like gardens, playgrounds and parks. The sight and feel of it reminds me of confusion and pins in my throat.

Pins in my throat

Pins in my throat

Pins.. and the taste of mulch.

[loadedmind16-blog]

I don’t actually care wtf my hair looks like or that girls talk shit about me it’s a distraction from the time that I was pushed down in kindergarten and had a boy do things that I didn’t even understand yet and when adults found out it was labeled as “Sarah drama” and I had to learn young to keep my mouth shut.. and I can’t even complain bc it’s been stuffed in my head so much that it’s not a big deal and others have had worse that I start to believe it and forget until 7th grade when guys wanna touch me and suddenly I feel sick then when something similar happens I’m scared to even see it as not my fault and I’m scared to tell an adult bc it’ll be labeled as “drama” again and the only adult I think I can trust I can’t see without paying $200+ and no adult in my life will ever take me seriously bc “drama” started at a young age and getting bullied and depression was thrown in the same box labeled “drama” and that’s all I’ll very be to my parents.. the kid that’s holding an overloaded box of things that weren’t dealt with

A lonely pianist

[loadedmind16-blog]

When my life seems black and white like piano keys I look down and play the saddest melodies instead of looking up at the colorful world that’s meant for me

Some lonely pianist..

[loadedmind16-blog]

I don’t mess with boys they wanna kiss me and that’ll mess up my lipstick or they might run their hands through my hair and I just reteased it this morning

-a creepy girl

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“In the future… if by some miracle you ever find yourself in the position to fall in love again… fall in love with me…You’re still my favorite person… Always will be”

— Colleen Hoover, It Ends with Us

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Reblog this if you think writing is an art

I literally had to reblog this twice in a row

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Ily phrases

It’s better to have a phrase that means

“I love you”

Instead of the actual words other wise it’s a bit boring

Katniss and Gail used “always”

Fault in our stars used “okay”

Princess bride used “as you wish”

once upon a time used “I will always find you”

Pirates of the Caribbean used “Miss swan”

Game of Thrones used “my sun and stars”

In my opinion “always and forever” is too common “until the end of time” as well

In medieval or renaissance times books you could use

“My lady” *cute bowl or curtsy*

“Until I see you again.” (Because they didn’t have phones or cars so they weren’t always in contact )

[loadedmind16-blog]

Does anything really matter?

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Go check this out!!

Check out this app 👉 https://sweatco.in/i/sarah270145 ... It pays for walking

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I keep looking at my phone like something will change, like your name will show up. You’ll show up and save me..

Sarah

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Edible Flowers and Their Properties

Arugula Blossom (attraction, abundance, psychic power) Basil Blossom (protection, love, abundance, purification) Borage (happiness, protection, courage, peace)  Calendula (protection, love, healing) Carnation (strength, protection, creativity, stability)  Camellia (abundance, love, happiness) Cilantro (protection, peace, love, health, abundance) Chamomile (calming, love, healing, protection, warding) Chive Blossom (protection, warding, love) Chrysanthemum (protection, warding, happiness, love) Dandelion (healing, purification, divination & psychic power) Dahlia (abundance, strength, creativity, self love) Garlic Flower (protection, healing, warding) Hibiscus (love, divination, creativity) Kale Flower (abundance, strength, protection, healing) Lavender (calming, protection, healing, purification, peace) Lilac (luck, wisdom, psychic strength) Nasturtium (happiness, love, purification, protection) Orchid (love, abundance, creativity) Peony (luck, protection, abundance, stability) Pansy (love, calming, self reflection, change) Pea Flower (abundance, love, friendship, protection) Rose (love, happiness, peace) Snapdragon (purification, protection, strength, perseverance)   Squash Blossom (creativity, vitality, healing, balance) Strawberry Blossom (love, abundance, luck, healing) Violet (peace, protection, healing, luck)

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