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“Quit” by SB19: An Anthem for the Masked and the Broken

There are songs that simply fill the air, and then there are songs that cut through it—songs that find you on an ordinary day and suddenly pull you into a moment of reckoning; Quit by SB19 is one of those songs. It's a quiet scream from the depths, a confession masked in melody, and a mirror held up to those of us who’ve learned to survive by becoming someone else.

Ken Suson’s involvement in composing this piece—with clear influences from one of his singles, Kanako, cements its introspective and emotionally layered tone. It’s a masterstroke not just in sound, but in truth-telling.

As someone currently taking my Master’s in Literature, I’ve spent most of my time analyzing texts—but this one felt different. This wasn’t just academic—it was deeply personal. This analysis is long overdue, and I’m writing it not just as a student of literature, but as someone still learning how to unmask and stay whole.

Verse 1:

They thought I'd cower in fear and break Thought they got advantage to take But I guess they're blinded eyes full of hate I'm gon' make 'em see why I didn't bend, how could I even break? In every battle lost, know they celebrate Well, it's good to hear their cries when they fail Praying for my downfall, they thought I would quit

The opening lines face the voices of doubt and disdain head-on. It paints a familiar picture for anyone who’s ever been underestimated, misunderstood, or dismissed. These lines resonate with the experience of feeling surrounded by eyes, spectators—people who quietly root for your failure. But the speaker doesn’t crumble. Instead, there's resolve: a refusal to surrender, and an insistence that survival itself is a kind of victory.

This sets the emotional tone for the entire song—where pain becomes fuel and rejection becomes clarity.

Pre-Chorus: We'll never know, I guess we'll never know If I would go down, guess wе'll never know No, I don't know, I guess wе'll never know I guess we'll never know, I guess we'll never know

This refrain is haunting in its repetition. It evokes ambiguity and a quiet ache, an echo of uncertainty. There's a tension between what could have been and what had to be. It captures the loneliness of never really knowing if we would have been enough—had we not chosen to hide parts of ourselves.

It reflects a truth many carry into adulthood: sometimes, we don’t even know what our unmasked self would have looked like, because we buried it too soon.

Chorus: Ah, ayokong mamatay They tryna kill the colours in my mind When all my heart wanted was to be kind, oh I'm afraid to die alive

This is where Quit becomes devastatingly honest. The line “Ayokong mamatay” ("I don’t want to die") transcends its literal meaning. It’s not just about physical survival—it’s a plea to preserve one's soul, essence, creativity, and gentleness in a world that relentlessly tries to strip it away.

Then comes the crushing realization: “Losin’ myself, tryin’ to be a lie So I’d be picture perfect in your eyes.”

These lines expose the emotional labor of conformity – of shaping yourself into a version that’s easier to digest—prettier, quieter, more acceptable. And while you do survive that way, something inside you dies. The you that was never allowed to be… starts to disappear.

Verse 2: I said I'm alright, that's what I would tell them when I would cry Chose to be kind, but these people so evil, my, my Come inside, inside of my mind See I'm wrestling all my demons up on this side Still faking a smile, I'm fine but it's gonna take a while 'Cause I'm all too familiar with this kind of pain Kahit 'nong gawin, I won't run away Bukas, makalawa lang, alam kong may darating na grasya, grasya, grasya

This verse offers a chilling confession: the mask doesn’t always come off when you're alone. You learn to lie so well, even to yourself. Kindness, instead of being a virtue, becomes a vulnerability. You chose to be kind, but the world around you wasn't. And yet, even with the pain, the belief in grace—“alam kong may darating na grasya”—remains. That hope is what keeps you moving.

The Refrains:

As the chorus and pre-chorus repeat, they begin to take on new weight. No longer are they just sad musings—they become desperate cries, and eventually, declarations. The interlude—wordless yet overwhelming—feels like the scream you hold in your throat when words are no longer enough. It reflects your description of feeling exposed, raw, and open. The song doesn’t just speak your thoughts; it makes you feel them.

Final Chorus: Ah, ayokong mamatay (Ayokong mamatay, oh) They tryna kill the colours in my mind When all my heart wanted was to be kind, oh (Oh) I'm afraid to die alive (Ah) Losin' myself, tryin' to be a lie (I'm losin' myself) So I'd be picture perfect in your eyes, oh

By the final chorus, these lines feel less like confessions and more like battle cries. The fear of death—emotional or otherwise—is still there, but so is the defiance. You begin to understand that you’re not the lie you pretended to be. You’re the person buried underneath, fighting to live again.

And you ask yourself: “Now that we’re adults, are we still the same person we hoped to be?” The answer, more often than not, is no. We’re what the world let us be. And Quit makes us confront that truth.

Conclusion:

Quit isn’t just a song—it’s a moment of reckoning. It doesn’t let you look away. It doesn’t let you lie to yourself. Out of all of SB19’s releases, this might be one of their most vulnerable yet—made for the ones who laugh while carrying invisible weight, who shrink themselves just to feel safe. It hits hardest when you realize the person you’ve been showing to the world isn’t really you. And when that truth finally catches up, it feels like a scream—not out of weakness, but because you’re finally facing what you’ve buried for so long.

Yes, it’s a song about survival. But more than that, it’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself you had to leave behind. Those pieces aren’t gone. They’re just waiting—for the day you’re ready to come back to them.

So if you’ve ever felt like you were “dying alive,” just know: you’re not alone.

[localrusticdeity]

It's my 8 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[localrusticdeity]

At the end of the day I’m just a girl who likes to bask in sunlight and read books and make silly little annotations and eat fruit and be grateful and find the joy in the mundane and understand that everything is temporary and be completely disconnected when the time calls for it

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spending hundreds in a café to study what it means to be human—

romanticizing studying improves my productivity hahaha ☻

[localrusticdeity]

Never Let Me Go (2010)

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Andrew Garfield as Tommy D in "Never Let Me Go" (2010, dir Mark Romanek). That’s it.

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-The Chaos of Stars, Kiersten White.

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Kazuo Ishiguro and Andrew Garfield.

- Never Let Me Go (2010, Mark Romanek)

“Tommy… despite all the evidence, for some reason continues to believe in the benevolence of the world, and that people wish him well…I found that heartbreaking. That was an insight I got from Andrew’s performance.”

Kazuo Ishiguro was surprised by the strength of the performances in Never Let Me Go, he “learned things about the motivations, the personalities of each of the characters” he thought the characters have been made deeper.

Kazuo Ishiguro on Andrew Garfield’s performance in Never Let Me Go. “it wasn’t until I saw Andrew play Tommy, that I realised how stubbornly he clings to the idea that the world around him is essentially benevolent and that the powers-that-be wish him well, despite all the evidence to the contrary… he just will not let that go. There’s something about him…this touching faith he has in the adults or the adult world, and it only crumbles when he’s faced with the truth in that house right at the end. That perspective on Tommy, that emphasis on somebody who, despite all the evidence, for some reason continues to believe in the benevolence of the world, and that people wish him well…I found that heartbreaking. And that was an insight I got from Andrew’s performance."

source

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Some details from book commissions!

You can commission your own print here

[localrusticdeity]

Whenever he felt like giving up, plopping himself down, and dying (which was, like, every ten minutes), he reached over and took her hand, just to remember there was warmth in the world.

—Percy Jackson, from The House of Hades

[localrusticdeity]

I love how the world perceives tumblr as useless platform. No world news here. No algorithm. No verified accounts. Ads are about Pikachu cosplayer and shoelaces. Folks that's exactly how social media should be

way overdue edit: OP too has learned everything regarding international politics through crabs and that meme but doesn't dare to consider these paranormal/parasocial occurrences as mere news. It's a moment, it's a bliss, it's the nightmare of future generations' history textbooks, you had to be there

[localrusticdeity]

Yor hugging Anya is everything to me

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“orphic”

— (ˈɔr fɪk), adjective | Categorized as something deeply mysterious, orphic encompasses anything which is enchanting, subliminal and beyond human comprehension. (via niimph)

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“When the moon came down” by Feridun Oral

[localrusticdeity]

How to Write a University-level Essay

Heyo, so school is fast approaching, and seeing as Tumblr is made up of a lot of younger users who will soon be shipping off to college or university soon, I thought I would take it upon myself to help spread my knowledge of essay-writing. Essay-writing is my thing. I love it. I live for it. It’s how I make up for my shitty test marks, and still get by with an 85 average+ in University classes. I’m a historian by trade, so perhaps this information will seem a bit off from what you’re used to, but hopefully, It’ll help you out. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.

1. Consider your question and find your thesis.

      I know, I know. People always say, no! Never start with your thesis/intro paragraph! Go to the body!! Well i’m here to say forget everything you’ve been told. Forget that, forget the stupid hamburger shit they teach you, forget it all and start reading. 

I ALWAYS start with my thesis. Why? Because you cannot make good paragraphs without knowing what you’re researching. You need direction, and a thesis is your map.

So, the question we’ll use shall be: What is one way in which the Union won the American Civil War?

Now remember, your thesis is your map. It shows you where to go, what to look for. The thesis is the heart and soul of all your work. You want a good, solid thesis. What does that include, you ask?

An idea

A reason for said idea

Evidence to support said reason, and thus validate the        idea.

So, lets do an example. Let’s say I’m writing on the use of media during the American Civil War. I like photography, and wrote a paper on this in my second year, but im gonna be doing this example freehand(idk where I put that essay lol) so lets work with how I got an A+ on that paper. This will be my idea:

                “Photography during the American Civil War influenced the war’s outcome in the Norths favour.”

This is VERY vague. This is an example of a thesis in bloom! Let’s take it further. Look at the above. What questions would you have from this thesis?

-Who was taking photos at that time?

-Why did it influence the outcome?

-How did it influence the outcome?

-Who consumed photography as a media at that time?

This is where you STOP, and start the next step.

2. Research

                Start your basic research with your idea, and the above questions in mind. Look at libraries, ask your professor or TA or librarian, or just do some basic google searches to get to know the subject(but for the love of god if you include a google link in your citation I will personally hunt you down and castrate you.)

I like to start with the basics of any inquiry: WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY, HOW. Who was taking photos? Where were they displayed that caused influence? ect…These, in relation to your beginner thesis, will help guide you in what form your thesis will take.

Once you’ve finished that, and have a general feel for the time period, go back to your thesis.

3. THESIS 2.0

Go back to your original question: What is one way in which the Union won the American Civil War? Now look at your thesis again. It’s too vague, isn’t it?

As you can see, our original thesis was too vague to be a real thesis. So, we NARROW IT DOWN using our WWWWWH progress we focused on during early research!

                “Photography during the American Civil war influenced the war’s outcome by providing a visual for ordinary citizens about the horrors of war, and thus helping to increase donations and awareness to the cause.”

Great! But once again, too vague! Questions that may arise include:

Who was taking the photos

Evidence for donations?

Evidence for social awareness?

So, we NARROW IT DOWN again. I’m going to use Andrew Gardner’s photography during the Civil war, as he was one of the most famous and influential at the time.

                “Andrew Gardner’s photography during the American Civil war influenced the war’s outcome by providing a visual for ordinary citizens about the horrors of war, and thus helping to increase donations and enlistment in the Union through awareness to the cause…”

The above then gives us the following(why and how are sometimes grouped together):

Who: Andrew Gardner

What: Photography helped the north win the war.

Where: Union-aka northern states

When: American Civil War

Why/How: Because Andrew Gardner’s photography raised social awareness through this new and budding medium

Use this sort of outline to guide you in the next step!

4. Now that we have a thesis, you need to do some more research and evidence gathering.

The way I like to do this is to go check out a few books from the library(look for text books in particular), and leaf through the index for matching terms. Our matching terms would be:

                Photography, civil war, Andrew Gardner, media

From there, you read over the pages, and see if any of the info relates to your subjects. Copy down quotes, page numbers, book title, author, publishing date and publisher. You need these for your bibliography. Pick and choose relevant information. The filter for relevant information relies entirely on your thesis, because it decides what you need to be looking for—this is why I hate when people tell me to start writing paragraphs before I write a thesis! It’s simply impossible and counter productive, and will cost you hours in revision.

So, gather your information from the library, and cross-reference with peer-reviewed articles and data. For our thesis, we would need data on enlistment numbers in an area after a date of Andrew Gardner’s photography exhibit showcases. No matter what type of essay you’re writing, you can always back up your evidence with data, and it won’t hurt one bit. Don’t be afraid of the numbers, kids!

So, if we were to go back to our thesis, we could now expand on it like this:

             “Andrew Gardner’s photography during the American Civil war influenced the war’s outcome by providing a visual for ordinary citizens about the horrors of war, and thus helping to increase donations and enlistment in the Union through awareness to the cause. An increase in  donations and enlistment in relation to exposure to Gardners work is seen in data/evidence point A, as well as in data/evidence point B, which will be fully outlined in the points below.”

This gives you an example of how to lead from a thesis, to your opening paragraph.

5. Data and Evidence Justifications–Paragraph making

This is the section where you can branch your essay into your data and evidence points you gathered in steps 2 and 4. You can have as many paragraphs as you like, just make sure your evidence and data is strong and supported. I personally like to work with my thesis copied and pasted onto the top of every page I write on. This keeps you on track, with your clear goal in mind, and will help you from straying. I will give you an example of how a paragraph might sound.

                Andrew Gardner’s photography during the American Civil War became heavily influential upon the American population at the time, particularly the north, wherein which his work was showcased. The influence of Gardner’s photographic works is seen in the _____, which shows us that without the influence of Gardner’s media influence, war efforts and awareness may not have been as successful as they had been.

This is an alright opener for you to work with. The ___ is where you could put in your data point or evidence piece. The point of the paragraph is to show your support for your thesis by confirming it with evidence.

Your paragraphs should take this form:

Present, Confirm, Conclude, Lead.

You present your evidence, confirm its relation to the thesis and confirm the validity of the thesis, conclude by brief revision of evidence, and then lead into your next paragraph. 

6. Conclusion

        Your conclusionary paragraph should be a look-over of the above paragraphs. Restate your thesis, present a summarized version of your paragraphs(one or two sentences only), and perhaps take the time to look at your own views on the subject. An example might look like this:

        “Taking a moment to step away from the above mentioned evidence, I believe it to be scholarly acceptable and even necessary to state my own views on the subject presented. In drawing conclusions, I felt that the above information was correct in that it presented a reality of the time period, in which photography was becoming a medium to be embraced by popular society. People were not only astounded by Gardner’s photographs on a social level, but also a technical level. The astonishment people held at seeing the war-torn battle fields spurred them into action, and even today can still present feelings of dread, fear and loss when looking at his photos…blah blah blah”

Why is it scholarly acceptable and perhaps necessary to state your views? Oftentimes, it is to reassure the reader of your own personal bias’, which exist whether you like them or not, to the subject at hand. Having a small tidbit on your own thoughts about your research ect, breaking away from the third-person droning of an essay can be refreshing and welcoming for a prof at the end of his stack of essay reading. 

7. In summary

Thesis

WWWWWH

NARROW IT DOWN

Data and Evidence

Present, Confirm, Conclude, Lead

Self opinions/Conclude

All in all, do unique things. Professors love it when they come across something that’s not cookie cutter! Even if they present you with a list of essay topics, take the leap and ask them if you can do your own research topic!! Take risks with your essay writing, talk to your professors about what you want to do, and try to have fun with your research. I’ve written on everything from civil war photography to Disney princesses in american media, to the religious formation of idea of heaven and earth. Remember, so long as there’s credible, documented evidence, it’s possible to write about it.

[localrusticdeity]

I'd rather write about this world than live in it and I'd rather play music all day and read and wander around the bookstores and watch humans but not be one of them.

-Unknown.