loficryptids

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and i'm going to.

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good day

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most notable times of being hit on by customers:

guy who tried to impress me with card tricks and failed every single one of them

old man who attempted to get my number when his wife walked away and slipped me his email address ending with “@ aol.com” when i said i don’t do that

cute gay couple that came back to tell me i was cute and then called the shop to ask me out

older professor who i talked to about folklore and told me he dressed as a wizard for recitals saying “this is really embarrassing but umm.. i’d love to get to know you more..” and gave me a receipt with his email address on it

dude in his 40s asking me on a movie date and me saying yes but then he kept starting text conversations with “ahoi hoi”

military guy who said it’d be hot if i killed him with a baseball bat

most notable time a customer did not ask me out:

a man who i knew had a wife and children getting really flustered and saying “um. ive been, uh.. idk if you remember me but um. i come in here a lot and ive uhhh haha umm ive been wanting to ask you for a couple weeks now.. um. have you read the green lantern issue i recommended??????”

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who want me

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I’m permanently exiling you from orc city. Or to orc city. I can’t tell if orc city is supposed to be good or not and nobody will tell me.

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What does it mean? What does it all mean??

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(about to jerk you off) wait which way was it again righty tighty or lefty loosey ✋😅🤚 oh well! (twists so hard it rips your peanis clean off)

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i think butter is a better bagel topping than cream cheese. there. i said it.

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for the record gummy bears are like a D tier ice cream topping. not because gummy bears are inherently bad but the synergy with the ice cream just makes it an overall unlikable experience. getting them cold just makes them harder to chew. maybe if it was like the freshest gummies, but 9 times out of 10 you get gummy bears on icecream at like coldstone youre just regretting your decisions

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What does it mean? What does it all mean??

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me: love moths. truly God’s way of saying “sure, the night can have butterflies too :)”

some genius: um op did you know that moths and butterflies are not actually the same thing? though they are both Lepidopterans moths are more likely to be diurnal, have fur and stockier bodies, and flatten their wings when resting instead of folding them 🤓 also whether God exists is a highly debated subject,

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Should i kill myself

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the one time i tried to be high on shrooms in public it was in olympia i walked into this coffeeshop and ordered a medium thai tea and the barista says, “are you sure you dont want a large? everything is the same price.” and in my bewilderment i looked up at the drink board and literally everything was $2.65

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I finished coloring my Mettatenna comic!!!

Plan to draw more of these two hehe

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