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A lot has changed in no time. A year ago you broke my heart and I've been picking up the pieces since that day. Sometimes I felt overwhelmed, other times I was furious, and others I was just extremely sad. Three weeks ago I met someone. I know have someone to help me pick up the few pieces that I've left behind. I'm grateful and I'm healing (though you cannot really fix a heart).

Also, I'm working on finding a way to forgive you. I wanna be free to move on. I want your memory to lose the power of ruining my day.

I'm wandering if you thought about me today, or if you've ever done it at all.

Wish I could speak to you as a civil person one last time. Wish today, a year ago, happened in a different way. Yet, it didn't and it's okay.

This is also a reminder to be proud of myself. Future me, reading this post in a couple of months, be proud of us, we've achieved so much in so little. We learned what resilience is - we shall never forget.

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Hey,

I'm finally doing better. Rage has gone away as did apathy. I feel like I belong in this new place and everyday I miss you less than the day before. I'm healing and I'm grateful. I had this important interview today. I wish I could tell you how it went and how all my dreams are coming true. It's okay tho. You'll probably never know and I'm alright with it. I'm gradually stopping to hate you and this is setting me free. Hope you'll find your peace as well.

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I found this

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Did you lie? You weren't there when I turned 20. I hate this. I wish I could fall out of love with the person you used to be, but I can't. It hurts like hell.

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I keep calling your name and yet you're not running to me. You don't exist anymore.

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I'm here again after a while. I met you at the vaccination centre last month. What were the chances? I guess it just had to be that way.

I witnessed your fake grief as you were holding hands with the guy you chetead on me with. I was furious, now I'm back to some apathy, numbness.

I still think of you sometimes, but I never allow thoughts to get far. It's not really thinking, just embracing the sensations that I can feel in my body.

I'm going back to the North in a month. Last time I did it I could count on you as my biggest shelter. Now I can't. I guess it just has to be this way. Weird. I kind of hate you, but I want to stop. I never want to see you again, but I hope I'll meet you once again before I leave.

I'll probably be at our spot the night before. You won't and that's alright. You are not You anymore and I'd love to just re-live the memories I filled that place with. I wish I had known when we were there for the last time. I can't even remember.

Hope you're having a bad summer :)

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You betrayed me

And I know that you never felt sorry

For the way that I hurt

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It took you two weeks

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I'm crying my heart out

Wishing you could hear me

Everything is still killing me

Just the same

I wish I was lighter

But you made me sink

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Crime and Punishment

On a green day of June,

My dark eyes merged

Into the cerulean blue

Of some complexion.

A crime - my brain believed

As its caution vanished,

Dismantled by a wicked

Trojan horse of rubbish.

The rushing heart

Immediately enchained

By an indomable feeling.

Restless and impotent,

Subdjugated by an enchanting

yet perfidious body.

A punishment soon came.

For love is never bitter

In the eyes of the lover,

Despite staggering his heart

and wounding his brain.

Poisonous, unfaithful,

And inexplicable lies

Became your crime.

Yet no punishment came

As I was left to die.

Finally awaken,

The heart now sees.

There is no such thing

Worth its own relief.

Undeserving prisoner,

You will stay

For ever enchained,

Staggered by your own mistake!

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In fissa

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Mid-June,

Scorching weather,

Heavy hearts.

I told you about my favorite poem,

Shared my love with you,

Thinking you would've kept it

Safe.

April,

Gloomy air,

Broken hearts.

You posted my favorite poem,

Without hesitation,

Without decency.

You threw it

Away.

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Here we go again - I can't sleep because of you.

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When will it end? You really fucked me up to this point.