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One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

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I’ve tried to wash you away, but you just won’t leave.

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there’s a lot of unspoken pressure to keep liking the things you used to like and to keep dressing the way you’ve always dressed and to never question what you believe in and basically “be yourself” has slowly morphed into “be what everyone knows you as” but trust me when i say if you just give it up and simply make decisions and take actions based purely on what would make you happy, you’ll gain a very comforting sense of self peace   

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bangel week ★ day one; favourite episode

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just a heads up if i ever act dumb i’m joking. i’m 100% smart and know literally everything

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AN: Hi! So I wrote this actually last September. I fully intended it to be a oneshot but unfortunately I got stuck somewhere in the second part and realized it made a lot more sense to just split it in two anyway, as the storyline sort of shifts halfway through. I still don’t have the second half done, but I figured why hold off on posting the first half? Haha.

But seriously, I do feel the need to probably warn you that if you are an Ezria shipper who is dabbling in Spoby fanfiction, this is not the story for you. If you are a Spoby shipper who also hardcore ships Ezria, I advise you to proceed with caution. This first chapter has absolutely nothing to do with Ezria at all-in fact, I think they are scarcely even mentioned-but the second half focuses on Spencer and them in a very, very negative way and I just want to give you a clear warning that this is truly not a Ezra friendly story (though I did ship them once upon a time… prior to 4B, let’s just say).

Otherwise, I feel the need to maybe also throw out there that this is an extremely chaotic run-on-sentence style of writing I tried out and maybe it won’t really work for you, maybe it’ll be way too confusing, and I’m really, truly sorry if that’s the case, but I started randomly writing without a plan-though the storyline in the first chapter is a more simplified version of a much more in-depth story I still have every intention of writing-and this is what came out.

Anyways, I love all you out there who are reading this. You all mean the world to me and I hope you enjoy this fic and that you do comeback for more. Your never-ending support for everything I write really means more than I could ever even express. (I sound so cliche right now but all my author notes kind of sound cliche soooo I guess this is just me hahaha.)

Oh and I basically forgot to even give you the time period this takes place in-though I hope it’s apparent a few paragraphs in, hahaha. This is set after 7x20. And, if you didn’t know, the title comes from the poem Spencer recited to Toby in the end of the finale. She didn’t say the entire thing, but the poem’s second to last line translates to the title of this fic.

Thank you and enjoy! (:

An ordinary day is a rarity after spending years upon years living in constant fear of an unknown figure, an all-knowing tormentor, a ruthless, violent psychopath. Ordinary days are unexpected blessings that no one who had an average youth could possibly even begin to comprehend.

But unfortunately some didn’t have the luxury of ignorance and were forced to bear the brunt of the past, forced to live every second of every day with skeletons and ghosts and demons and whispers all sitting at the threshold of their closet, begging to be unleashed, begging to be set free, begging to devour what was built in spite of the panic and the fear and the lingering anxiety that somehow, some way, it wasn’t over, and somewhere out there in the dark that no one could see, the game was still happening.

Some days the trepidation was so debilitating, it incapacitated them from doing anything more strenuous than inhaling and exhaling from the comfort of their beds.

Spencer was one of those people. The stunning, brilliant brunette, who spent her entire young adulthood looking over her shoulder, flinching whenever a new text came, evading cops and parents and the boy with blue eyes that she loved more than her own life, always terrified of looking behind her on the off chance of finding sociopaths or stalkers or killers–or her own family–waiting, had lived a life that most people couldn’t even stomach envisioning and somehow, by some miracle of strength and stamina, she managed not to let it destroy her completely.

It’d been two years. Two years since the game had officially ended. Two years since Toby and the girls and Caleb and Mona had all found Alex’s underground bunker, found their tormentor and their best friend fighting over an axe, found Ezra with a crack in his skull. Two years since Toby had alone deciphered which twin was the crazed mastermind and which twin was the girl who owned his entire heart.

“Une orange sur la table.

Ta robe sur le tapis.

Et toi dans mon lit.”

Two years since Alex and Mary and Mona had all but evaporated into thin air. Two years since a cop came and took Alex away and never booked her into custody and never reported the incident and never told any authority figure that there laid a bunker underground, underneath a beautiful blue house that meant for a girl with mocha eyes but instead had been permanently marred by her twin.

In the two years since that night, the entire group had struggled and faltered and fell and rose and made leap and bounds and failed and succeeded, time and time again.

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My Favorite Movies Are Beautiful

1/∞: Titanic (1997)

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westallen + naley 

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I hope love finds you in 2018

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hey kids I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who have stuck around with this crazy sideshow blog !! It’s been so fun bashing marlene with you guys and basically just hating on pll together <33

So without further ado, I just wanted to shout out some of my absolute favorite people on this site and also just some wonderful blogs I’d love to get to know better.

(in no particular order except roughly where you showed up in my followers list lol)

@allensbellisario

@cluelesslyqueer

@that1random-girl

@welcometothetwilightzone

@smoria <3

@iwasbuildingitforyou

@miavita-bella

@spobycavnaugh

@thats-immortalityy

@scrabble-necklace <3

@ranaweir (obvs)<3

@thefaketeam <3

@a-stupid-teenager

@slaytroixn

@sudayevs ahhhh love you forever thank you so much for being part of this year !! <3

@morethantheseashes you’re so strong and I admire you sm<3333

@reputations-little-liars

@strangerswans

@lying-little-legend <333

@howtogetawaywithpll

@hannavandermariin

@kate-shephards (can you believe you were 20th follower?? so much love from me to my spoby mom<3)

@sparklebubbleblonde <33

I hope everyone has a wonderful 2018 and you can always slide into my messages/asks at any time :))

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Opinion on marlene king :)

YES, you know I’ve been waiting for this one. Buckle your seatbelts kids. 

Okay, where do we even start with her?? Of course I don’t know her personally, so I’m not going to bash her as a person. But as a writer, that’s where the problem lies. Miss I. (ruin your ships as well as your life) Marlene King is the biggest liar of them all tbh. The first four seasons of the show were written well in my opinion. Ships aside, the episodes kept my interest and had suspense. Moving on to season 5 is where things got messy.

Season 5 and beyond is where Marlene got greedy in my opinion. She saw the money the show was bringing in and couldn’t stop. It’s fine if she wanted to continue, but honestly, she had no more storylines left to give. Take the time-jump as a prime example. Nobody’s storylines made sense. Everyone was petty as fuck and back to their season 1 selves. That time-jump made everyone soooo terribly ooc, but Mar didn’t seem to care. However, she cared a whole hell of a lot about those ‘HbO LeVeL sCeNeS!!!!” of some irrelevant ass ships, like Jordan/Hanna and Spencer/Caleb. No offense if anyone likes those ships, but if Mar knew they weren’t going to last, why go on and on about these scenes on Twitter, hyping them up??  

But through this all, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. It can’t be easy to run a tv show. Being the pll fan that I was, I trusted her word. I trusted her when she baited us for months about certain scenes or ships. Told us countless times on Twitter how ‘good things are worth the wait’. Now this is where any respect I had for her went down the tubes.  

THE FINALE. Don’t get me fucking started. She absolutely blew it and she knew it. After the constant baiting, we were handed with that finale. All of our feelings pushed aside because she thought ‘shock value’ was more important than the loyal fanbase that kept pretty little trash going for as long as it did. 

The way the show treated rape and mental illness is absolutely disgusting. Mar did nothing to fix this and didn’t seem to care. In fact, I recall her saying that the Alex/Toby scene in the finale was ‘a hot sex scene’ or something like that. WAKE UP CALL HONEY, that’s not sex, that’s rape. Why can’t Mar admit that?? Why can’t she admit that she wrote rape into her show and chose not to address it?? She took a lot of fucking serious issues and tried to normalize them. This includes several jokes about mental illness that were shown in the show for a ‘quick laugh’. Not sure why she thinks that would be funny. 

But one of my biggest gripes is the way she reacts to fans of her show. After the finale, many of us were upset, for rightful reasons. Now, this is no excuse for people to bully her or call her names, but we have a right to voice our opinions on the show. When several fans began expressing their concerns with the finale, she never seemed to listen. Instead, she always felt the need to back up her storylines, even if they were extremely problematic. 

Take spoby as an example (because when am I not spoby as fuq let’s be real). When fans asked why we were baited to keep watching and when we civilly expressed our concerns, she shut us down. To this day, she is still defending shit on Twitter. She makes fans feel like our opinions don’t matter. Like we all have to agree that spoby ‘HaD aN ePiC tRuE lOvE sCeNe!!!!!’ She sure goes on a lot about how great the finale was, but has yet to address mental illness jokes or rape that occur on the show. 

And how she always mentions how the show is about friendship. Bitch, where???? I don’t remember a genuine friendship scene between these girls in ages. Aria was up Ezra’s ass the whole time and couldn’t care wtf was going on, Hanna didn’t seem to care much about anything the entire time-jump, Emily was given some shit ass storylines (like why did Wayne have to die??? still unsure), and Spence (although she’s my fave), acted completely ooc, only caring about Rat Rivers. And the only guy friendship on the show was shattered too with that dumbass Caleb love triangle. 

Clearly, I still have some open wounds here and I’m tired of Mar acting like our opinions aren’t valid.  

ASK FOR MY OPINIONS! 

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If you’re still taking Spoby prompts, I got one for you: “where do you put your hands on someone who hurts everywhere?”

this is an absolutely lovely prompt, thank you so much <33

where do you put your hands on someone who hurts everywhere?

Toby is broken.

Spencer forgets this sometimes, because he doesn’t seem broken. He is the strongest person she knows, and she’s always in so many different directions, that it doesn’t seem possible someone as strong, as real, as brave as Toby, someone who can keep putting her back together over and over and over (because she falls apart - over and over and over - and he is there, always, at the end of a phone call, at the end of the day, ) -

it is hard to remember that someone like that can be broken. But he is, and she sees it sometimes, she thinks she probably is the only one who is ever privy to it.

She sees it in little things. Little things set him off; and he is set off in ways so quiet, she is sure she’s the only one who can tell. A certain shade of lipstick. A particular brand of darkness. Sometimes when he holds her, she feels a shiver running through his spine, she feels his hands tighten around her waist, drawing him towards her, as if she is a shield between him and the memories. Memories of someone else’s hands and dark bad nights and everything he could never breathe a word to anyone about.

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submit your own confessions here

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My Ships in 2017 → Spoby

“Look at me. You know me.”

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would you do one where set during the summer before spencer went to college and after she escaped from the dollhouse toby takes her to dinner with his weird uncomfortable parents and spencer has anxiety rashes all over her body from ptsd and his step mom notices it and makes her feel uncomfortable or self conscious about it and then a while later toby goes looking for her and finds her in the bathroom trying to scrub at the rashes with hot water? you can rearrange this any way you want :))))

hello hello! thank you for this lovely prompt! i changed a lot of it around, i hope you don’t mind - kept the essence of spencer and toby going to dinner with his terrible parents though :) i hope you enjoy!

/set post dollhouse, pre-CeCe reveal

She really didn’t know why she had agreed to this.

Rationally, it made no sense to agree to it. Toby didn’t like his parents. Spencer didn’t like his parents. It didn’t make any sense to go to his parents’ house for dinner, while she was in the middle of trying to get the hell over -

Get the hell over -

All of -

All of this.

“Spencer,” he said quietly, practically in her ear. She looked up to see his parents - especially his stepmother, both her eyebrows arched, God, she looked so much like Jenna - staring at him, it was like their eyes were digging into hers, their eyes their eyes their eyes digging into hers,

as if they were waiting, perhaps? Waiting for the crazy girlfriend to go crazier?

She unclenched her fist from the fork and forced a smile. “Sorry, Mrs. Cavanaugh,” she said, putting on her AP Spencer voice. “What was that?”

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