lorddestroy3r

[lorddestroy3r]

[lorddestroy3r]

HEY THIS IS IMPORTANT whats your favorite place to find drawing references?

[lorddestroy3r]

It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right

In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.

And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;

Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers

“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”

“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”

“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”

“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”

First Few Days Of Dating

“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)

“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)

“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”

“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”

Long-Term Relationships

“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”

“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”

“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”

Self-Care And Self Development

“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”

“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”

“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”

“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”

“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”

“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”

Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash. 

‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.

This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.

[lorddestroy3r]

Just in case you forget this exists.

It exists.

[lorddestroy3r]

Okay but why do hets always get together with people they’re incompatible with on every level. I know so many couples where the guy likes ‘guy things’ and the girl likes ‘girl things’ and their interests don’t cross over at all. They don’t make an effort to learn about or include themselves in their partner’s interests either, and when it comes to long-term goals that can’t be compromised on, the woman is family oriented whereas the man is career oriented. These two people I’m describing have no chance of having a healthy relationship and yet It’s portrayed as the ideal and the norm anyway, to just be with someone who you can’t relate to.

I think this is why so many people see ‘friend’ and ‘girlfriend/boyfriend’ as completely separate and distinct boxes because with the way gendered socialization works, friends are people you have things in common with and enjoy spending time with, whereas an opposite sex partner is just someone you have to live with and have sex with even if you don’t talk or like each other or share the same passions and goals. In most heterosexual relationships there’s a thick line drawn between male interests and female interests and I just can’t imagine never being able to talk about the things I love because my partner has expressed disinterest or even disdain towards them. It’s evil.

[lorddestroy3r]

[lorddestroy3r]

After all those years after DA:Inqusition was released I finally realised to whom Cassandra Pentaghast looks alike! And the answer was right here, in my country! Danuta Stenka (Polish actress) is an older version of Cassandra! Just look at them!

[lorddestroy3r]

All I really want is an ace/aro fairytale protagonist. Like, think about it.

“The curse can only be broken by true loves-” “God fucking damn it”

[lorddestroy3r]

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA. At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.  At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer. 

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.   At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 28, Wayne Coyne ( from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook. At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.  At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker.  At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs. Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51. Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40. Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40. Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career to pursue acting at age 42. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 46.

Morgan Freeman landed his first movie role at age 52. Kathryn Bigelow only reached international success when she made The Hurt Locker at age 57. Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76. Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78. Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow. Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it. 

Never tell yourself you missed your chance. 

Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough. 

You can do it. Whatever it is. 

[lorddestroy3r]

[lorddestroy3r]

ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said “oh don’t romanticize mental illness” and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly

but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself. 

i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover.  if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better. 

im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”

fuck guys it shouldn’t be an unpopular opinion to say “i don’t want any of you to die”.

[lorddestroy3r]

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[lorddestroy3r]

[lorddestroy3r]

What's wrong with Gandhi?

Where do I begin?

- Criticized the Jews for defending themselves against the Holocaust because he insisted that they should have committed public mass suicide in order to “shame” the Germans instead of fighting back. His exact words were, “But the Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher’s knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from the cliffs. As it is, they succumbed anyway in their millions.”

- Wrote an open letter to the British people in 1940 telling them to surrender to the Axis even if it mean accepting genocide.

- Was very anti-black. I hope you can stomach reading how he treated black people in South Africa. It’s fucking disgusting.

- Refused his wife life-saving medication (for religious reasons), but those religious reasons all of a sudden no longer applied to him when he was in a similar position.

- Refused to have sex with his wife for the last 38 years of their marriage. He felt that in order to test his commitment to celibacy, he would have beautiful young women (including his own great niece) lie next to him naked through the night. His wife, whom he described as looking like a “meek cow” was no longer desirable enough to be a solid test.

- Believed that Indian women who were raped lost their value as a human.

- During his time as a dissident in South Africa, he discovered that a young male was harassing two of his female followers. He responded by cutting the girls’ hair off to ensure the “sinner’s eye” was “sterilized.” He later boasted about the incident in his writings, pushing the message to all Indians that women should carry responsibility for sexual attacks upon them.

- Argued that fathers could be justified in killing daughters who had been sexually assaulted for the sake of family and community honor.

- Believed that menstruation was a manifestation of the distortion of a woman’s soul by her sexuality.

- Waged a war against contraceptives, labeling Indian women who used them as whores.

- Held the attitude that women were simply creatures that could bring either pride or shame to the men who own them.

Sources:

Websites:  Women Suffer From Gandhi’s Legacy,  People who most likely chose Gandhi as a historical figure to do a report on and immediately regretted it, On Mahatma Gandhi, his pathetic racism and advancement of segregation of black people by Sentletse Diakanyo, Not All Peaceful: 13 Racist Quotes Gandhi Said About Black People by Nick  Chiles

Books: Sex and Power by Rita Banerji, On Pacifism by Derrick Jensen,  The Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi

[lorddestroy3r]

TW: ALL THE ABLEISM, LIKE OMG I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER SEEN THIS MUCH ABLEISM. 

But, like, for real, anti-autism ableism, blaming autism for violence, blatant lies, misrepresentation of autism, vilification of autism, mass murder, Las Vegas shooting, seriously, be prepared to be very angry if you chose to read this. 

What we have been dreading has come to pass… people are now arm-chair diagnosing the Las Vegas shooter with Asperger’s. 

I am struggling for words right now due to the horrifying ableism I just read. 

Here’s how the article begins: 

“The explanation for the carnage in Las Vegas may be as mundane as this: Stephen Paddock may have had Asperger’s Disorder—part of the spectrum of autistic disorders.” 

Yep. The author doesn’t pull any punches. He just goes goes right for it. 

Ugh. I am so disgusted. 

He goes on to say that the shooter displayed many signs of autism (you know, based on what he’s seen in the news o.O) such as not always greeting his neighbors, being gifted with numbers which is “inexplicably” linked with Asperger’s, two short marriages which Must have ended because his wives “displayed the inflexibility and obsessive thinking typical of Asperger’s Disorder” (even though he has no information about them/hasn’t talked to them), and collected firearms. Because, obviously, this Has to mean he’s autistic… 

Another gem: 

“Many patients with Asperger’s Disorder become progressively more enraged as they note their tendency to fail in relationships, to lose employment and to lack the ability for joy. And, sometimes, that feeling of being on the outside of everything makes them want to destroy everything. I know this from my 25 years practicing forensic psychiatry, including my treating many people with Asperger’s. Some of these people shared with me thoughts of harming many others, and I took the proper precautions to prevent that.” 

I…I…I can’t even… 

Like… ???? 

😡 

First of all, forensic psychiatrist?! This man, the author, is involved in trials? He gets to assess whether defendants are fit to stand trial? This man is not fit to do his job. Diagnosing someone who isn’t a patient and whom the psychiatrist has no actual knowledge of is beyond reckless. 

Now, for some straight up lies and vilification: 

“Asperger’s Disorder or other disorders on the autism spectrum have, in fact, clearly been implicated in mass murders such as Sandy Hook, Virginia Tech and Aurora, Colorado.” 

…no….just…no 

The Sandy Hook shooter had been diagnosed with Asperger’s, but his own father didn’t think that was a factor in what he did. 

And the shooter being autistic has no relevance. Autistic people are no more violent than anyone else, with the exception of higher rates of self-harm. 

There is no scientific evidence linking ASD with homicides or other violent crimes. In fact, studies of court records suggest that people with autism are less likely to engage incriminal behavior of any kind compared with the general population, and people with Asperger syndrome, specifically, are not convicted of crimes at higher rates than the general population (Ghaziuddin et al., 1991, Mouridsen et al., 2008, Mouridsen, 2012) [source]

Importantly, rather than being more likely to engage in offending behavior or violent behavior, individuals with ASD have been found to be at higher risk of being the victim rather than the perpetrator. Indeed, findings by Sobsey and colleagues indicate that individuals with developmental disabilities are between four and 10 times more at risk of being a victim of crime. Other studies have indicated that this group may be more than 10 times as likely to be a victim of sexual assault and more than 12 times as likely to become a victim of robbery     [source]

More readings x x

 The Virginia tech shooter had a history with the psychological field, but there are no records of a diagnosis and nothing to suggest autism. And, again, his mental illness, whatever it may have been, would not be relevant as people with mental illness are 📢 NO MORE LIKELY THAN THE GENERAL POPULATION TO BE VIOLENT/MASS MURDERERS 📢 

x, x, x, x,

And, the Aurora, Colorado shooter was not autistic. He was diagnosed by many psychiatrists with various diagnoses on the schizo spectrum, however, once again, this is irrelevant. 

“Fewer than 5 percent of gun crimes are committed by people with mental illness; fewer than 5 percent of people with mental illnesses commit violent crimes.”  [source]

Fewer than 5% of gun crimes are committed by people with mental illness.

People with mental illness make up approximately 17-25% of the population. [x, x, x, x, x]

This means that people with mental illness are LESS likely to commit gun crimes than the general populace. 

“What we can say for sure is that stigmatizing people with conditions such as autism will not reduce gun violence; it will only amplify non-autistic people’s lack of ease with autistic people. Who comes up short on empathy in that scenario?” [source]

Autism does not cause gun violence. 

Mental illness does not cause gun violence. 

It’s time we start acknowledging this and stop scapegoating already vulnerable communities.

[lorddestroy3r]

[lorddestroy3r]