lordjackalope

[lordjackalope]

Tim Curry with his GameBoy on the set of The Three Musketeers (1993)

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So there's this plastic turtle we have outside our school that tells cars to slow down. My kids have always asked me why I don't have a husband, and I got tired of telling them because I didn't want one, so I pointed to him and said, "That dude. That's my husband."

This has been a running joke for two years now. All the kids know the plastic turtle outside the school is my husband. He doesn't have a name, just Miss Cat's husband.

Today was really windy, and the turtle dude fell over. I was taking a kid out to his mom, and he saw it on the ground and went, "Oh look, your husband died."

So I said, "Oh darn. Looks like I'm single again."

And without skipping a beat, he goes, "I'll be your husband."

Mom is standing there trying not to laugh as I got down on my knees, took the kid's hands in mine, and said, "Thanks for the offer, bud, but no thank you. We'll just pick that guy up so he can start being my husband again."

So the kid runs over, picks the turtle up, and goes "Good morning, husband! You're not dead anymore. Good job."

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United Healthcare getting sued by its investors, because it didn't warn them that the CEO getting murdered (by the tendrils of their unmitigated greed) was going to lead to them approving more claims (for covered services that they had no right to deny) is a cartoonish example of exactly why their CEO got murdered.

Their argument is essentially "You promised us a specific profit margin that is not possible to achieve under this increased public scrutiny of your unethical practices. We only agreed to invest because of those unethical practices. So we demand compensation because you didn't warn us that you'd be behaving more ethically"

And idk. Satire isn't just dead. We've pissed on its corpse and now it's dissolving in lye.

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moonlit glow

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I like preschool lunch time because it means I get to observe the Preschool Agora. or 3-4 year olds having conversations amongst each other in a large group. such as today they discussed who's been a baby before (conclusion: "even people we don't know") and who the first people were on earth ("let me guess," said one, "me.")

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Horse figure of the day: Matchbox Carousel Collection "Jazma"

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Horse figure of the day: Matchbox Carousel Collection "Rosette"

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Horse figure of the day: Matchbox Carousel Collection "Lavender"

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Carousel Collection by Matchbox

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Horse figure of the day: Matchbox Carousel Collection "Starbright"

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oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad

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oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad

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oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad

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We've not only taken away all of the physical spaces for our children to exist in, we're now taking away the electronic ones as well. I'm sure this won't have any negative consequences.

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Mincaz Black Phantom - Welsh Cob

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Reverse Mulan about a young man who disguises himself as a noblewoman and has to learn how to do passive-agressive politicking at dinner parties.