lorelei-system

[lorelei-system]

happy Barely Keeping It Together Wednesday to all who celebrate

[lorelei-system]

growing up is terrifying i wasn’t supposed to make it this far and now my future depends on me and i have to make wise choices and decisions and i’m just sitting here like a clueless little kid

[lorelei-system]

[lorelei-system]

i wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.

[lorelei-system]

I don’t wanna regress I wanna be a kid again for real. Not the kid I was with the memories I made but some perfect universe kid that just got to live fun and stay young

[lorelei-system]

Anybody else have no idea how their personality is perceived by others? Like am I nice? Am I mean? I have no idea.

[lorelei-system]

really enjoying all the videos Muslims have been posting of their cats looking like this

when the humans are up at 4 am for suhoor

[lorelei-system]

parents be like you can’t imagine how hard it is for us to deal with your mental illness

[lorelei-system]

i want to meet and interact with and befriend more systems, but i think that a large issue that i have with most system-oriented communities online is that they're sooo... alter focused. specifically introject focused.

i'd like a discord server where instead of every channel being "i have 27 my hero academia introjects and 13 of them don't get along", we can all just play minecraft or something and it just so happens that we're systems.

don't get me wrong, this disorder impacts every aspect of my life, but can't there be any spaces where we talk about something else???

[lorelei-system]

I tried my best to capture the horror i felt.

-Claude

[lorelei-system]

I learned about how other DID systems experience amnesia and one description has hit the nail on the head. We experience black-out amnesia, but not how it is commonly portrayed online or in media. We do not get confused about where we are, find ourselves in places we do not remember going. We do not notice our amnesia unless we are reminded of it.

Amnesia to us is like digging through sand trying to find the memory in our brain.

I do not recall forgetting something until i am supposed to remember the events. It feels to me like i have experienced every second of every day. I find it difficult to notice memory gaps on my own, and i believe that is partly the point of DID.

[lorelei-system]

hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information

[lorelei-system]

It is okay to mourn the child that you were, or the child that you could have been. It is okay to be sad or angry that no one protected you like you should have been protected. It is okay to grieve.

[lorelei-system]

hey. person who is recovering from childhood trauma. when you talk about things that have happened to you, you do not need to add a million caveats about how "my parents tried their best" or "it wasn't that bad" or "I had plenty of good times along with the bad". you do not have to make yourself feel guilty for just saying "yeah that sucks". I believe you. it did suck. it should never have happened. and you do not need to mentally apologise to your parents for saying so

[lorelei-system]

You’re allowed to be broken. A lot of people say “you’re not broken” as a response when some people feel broken. But for some of us, that doesn’t help us because we genuinely believe we’re broken.

So here is your reminder that if you feel you’re broken, that’s okay. You aren’t any less worthy. And you can still experience good things and heal.

[lorelei-system]

here’s to everyone hitting a low point after doing really well. you’re amazing and so strong and your hard work is not erased. you will find happiness again

[lorelei-system]

Hey, it’s not your fault. You were just a kid. You may still BE a kid. But I know a few things for certain:

You didn’t ask to be born into this world.

You didn’t ask to be treated the way that you were treated—whether it was by bullies, parents, or other family members.

You didn’t ask to “be a burden” to your caregivers, you deserved that space to be loved and safe

You didn’t ask for your consent to be broken.

You didn’t ask for the shame and guilt someone put you through.

You aren’t bad for something happening to you. You aren’t your trauma.

I’m sorry if you were ever made to feel that way, and I know that may never mean much coming from a stranger, but I know it’s something I wish I heard more.