lorkon-qa

[lorkon-qa]

I won't try to say that I haven't been toxic myself, especially with how I've been reacting to the shit heads on Tumblr and Reddit, and honestly everywhere because they exist everywhere. You're the first person to reply to me with kindness, and genuine advice. Somehow I only got the same thing from 4chan, and people wonder why I've been obsessing over them when all they do is treat me with negativity.

You're right though, I just need to step away from all of it. Someone had to remind me that just because of this hiccup not all Is Lost, and I should continue with my goals (of working at Bethesda as a writer). It's just a setback, one that'll block everything off for now but in time will blow over.

Today I was going to say I quit and then try again to kill myself after telling them they won, but I don't feel like that anymore. I feel like going to work tomorrow, enjoy my new job, then maybe in a year try to redo the convention after everyone forgot about it. Take the time playing the game, enjoying the art, and building my portfolio instead of ending it because a few assholes told me to. I've actually had more people tell me nice things then I have bad things not just been ignoring them because for some reason humans like to focus on the bad when they are sad.

I have a lot more support than I thought, but my brain had me stuck in a loop of dumb emotional thinking. So I guess this is a good by post, but not the one I was planning to write tonight. It's weird how literally 10 minutes ago before I read your post I was in a completely different state of mind.

I'm not even going to message anyone, I'm just going to stop posting and focus on my life. If they wonder where I went they'll come across this post, otherwise I'm sure they'll just completely forget about me when I stop messaging them.

Thank you.

I agree, ya’ll shouldn’t be so toxic and angry :|

[lorkon-qa]

fdgvbvrtgvbrgvbgrvbrgbrbrvfdvafdv???

Yes

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

I agree, ya’ll shouldn’t be so toxic and angry :|

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

This is good to know, that the person sending stuff knew I was in the hospital, so it had to have either been a NE IP or a MN IP. This doesn’t really narrow it down though who was doing it, I have a lot of enemies in NE.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

SUBARU SALES EVENT, LOOOOL

No but I didn’t send anyone anon hate. Honestly I figure you guys sent it to yourselves to further slander me, since I got probably a ton more of it than you guys. I actually had someone send me my address and say they can’t wait to kidnap me.

[lorkon-qa]

But are you actually trying to achieve something here? Mostly everyone forgot about the Lorkon incident, and any remaining discussion would have probably dried out within the following months. It seems very attention seeking to create an entire blog with repetitive/multiple posts, instead of a single public apology where you discuss and acknowledge the wrongdoings of you and your team, or at the very least explain your side of the situation. Why beat a dead horse?

Because a single post doesn’t cover all of the questions and my responses to everything about the con. I’ve stated where I went wrong and my wrongdoings in my posts where they were relevant to the question asked.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

I shit you not, I actually did sit in the ballpit and cried, throwing the occasional ball at the projector screen for about an hour before I packed up and left.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

The hotel was actually free.

And 50 people? Like, zero staff. I’ve ran events up to 100 people alone, you just need planning, signs, and only inviting people you trust.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

Actually I conceptualized it on xmas day, then announced it, started getting things together, announced it again once I had confirmation from Caleb and LeAnne that they would help me, and started building it with the community.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

So actually, blame my inexperience with Tumblr on this. I saw hate posts on me with 500 notes, and assumed that meant 500 people shitting on me. I was wrong, it was like, 5 people shitting on me, with 1200 agreeing with them.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

So my original Lawyer, LeAnne, was making sure Zenimax was cool with me making a fan convention.

The MN specific lawyer, Kristine, was helping me out with MN specific laws and Minneapolis Ordinance since I was A) Maybe doing alcohol, B) wanted things clear for minors to attend, and C) Make sure I was doing everything lawfully.

I wasn’t going to sue anybody, even though I could because I was doxxed, harassed, hacked, slandered, and libeled by you lot. The reason I don’t is because I was literally assaulted for being transgender twice, once by a co-worker who was promoted for it, and I tried to sue both of them and the lawyers basically shrugged and said good luck, it’ll cost you a lot though. So I don’t really have the motivation to “get back” at anyone legally anymore.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

I fully agree. I should have left the social media part with someone else. I tried to do all of the work, when I was really only able to do the organization bits. Caleb was taking care of the legal registration and tax forms, LeAnne and the MN Lawyer were keeping things legal with Zenimax, and I should have hired someone to do the social media parts for me, since I definitely couldn’t handle it. Lesson learned I guess? Sorry I had to ruin the TES convention to learn this.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

I actually thought that was funny as well

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

Ya, I overshared too much during the conversation they’re referring to.

Jeremy Soule makes good music, no evil he will ever do will change that. He’s one of the reasons TES is where it is today, and I wanted him at the con. A lot of people who get metoo’d nothing comes of it, so I knew nothing about the credibility of the claims, nor did I follow them because of my own triggers (I am a multiple rape victim, from 3 different people, one of them repeatedly).

When I was defending him in my server, I shared my own story about my own and my sister’s sexual abuses. As a rape victim, I think sometimes the rapist is a victim as well. Yes you heard me right, people who were abused as children often tend to grow up to continue the cycle. To me it’s a mental condition that can be fixed with therapy, before they hurt someone. I wanted to give Jeremy the same warmth that all human beings deserve.

Was I wrong about this? Maybe, I have been talking to people about it who actually discuss things instead of insult me and my mind is being changed. I do apologize for oversharing my rape story in the server, saying it was inappropriate is an understatement, and I can’t just blame my autism on it.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

Thanks for the evidence on this, @partyatsanguines

[lorkon-qa]

Again, here’s a link to the WIP google sheet version of the budget

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Fk4GqsnUwA0JLGJAEbVGzLbLvZKkVMtCoiliW--s0hw/edit?usp=sharing

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

No one asked about the budget, so why would I say where it was coming from?

But I did mention the plans for funding. I was going to see how much per-purchases would cover then shell out the rest with my own cash via loan, and with the expected numbers (why I really pushed for per-registration) cover the rest via door sales.

Tickets were going to be cheaper than most conventions because at the time I was an IHG employee (thanks for ruining my job, btw) so I got half off everything. This means venue is only 15k instead of 30k, rooms were 50% sale price for special guests, and I could staff it with hotel employees and volunteers to save those costs.

The only things I had to pay full price on were food, audio/visual, off duty police, security, and flights for guests. All of this I explained in the server, on twitter, and in reddit posts.

[lorkon-qa]

repost to add tags

Why am I doing this? https://lorkon-qa.tumblr.com/post/190829210308/the-tes-fandom-on-tumblr-has-been-annoying-at-best

#Discourse #disc horse #elder scrolls #tes #tesblr  #partyatsanguines #nerevarshidandfard #nerevar-shid-and-fard #nerevar shid and fard #nerevarshidandfard #lorkon #lore con #suraru #subaru #callout #cancelled

At least now I know why Elder Memes won’t talk to me anymore. I don’t blame Tori for lying to be about it to not hurt my feelings.