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Chapter 50: Conflict

When Yemoja made her next visit about a week later, she had decided that in addition to Zarya practicing her spells to build her magical strength, that it would benefit the young girl to learn to defend herself without the use of magic as well. After all, seven years was a long time and there were many dangers in the world that Zarya would need to protect herself from.

Despite his reservations that it would benefit him too, Yemoja insisted that Flea join her and Zarya in learning some of the exercises and forms of the martial arts she had used to help fight the giant ooze in the underground facility back at the pyramid’s plaza. She believed that the exercises help him calm his mind and having a new skill may help pass the time.

Flea was understandably skeptical, but with nothing else to do, he decided to humor Yemoja’s request, if only to get Zarya to stop asking him to join. As Yemoja walked him and Zarya through some stretches and basic stances, Flea tried to hide the pain he felt in his back and shoulder where scars from his fight with Slash remained. Scars that he had tried to hide with his shapeshifting, but to no avail. So he hid them with his clothes and did his best not to think about them.

Usually, they only ached a little, enough he could ignore them, but not today. He was not used to stretching like this. He winced during one movement and hoped that Yemoja or Zarya didn't notice. The last thing Flea wanted was for Zarya to fuss over him or for Yemoja to lecture him.

“Are you hurt, Flea?” Yemoja suddenly asked, stopping the lesson briefly. “We can stop if you need.”

Flea immediately became defensive and told her that he was fine. He silently cursed himself and put forth more effort to hide his pain.

Yemoja nodded, knowing Flea was reluctant to be candid with her about his past. She carefully watched him as he tried to mirror her stances and forms, saying nothing more in the moment about the pain she could see he was hiding. Instead, she waited until the end of the session to confront Flea that she had known for some time how Zarya met him. After dismissing Zarya to go read some of the scrolls she had brought from the temple, she approached Flea.

“You need to put your pride aside for a moment… How long were you planning on trying to ignore your injuries? Until the pain was so great that you’d become crippled?” she asked sternly the moment Zarya was out of sight.

Flea scoffed. “I’m not injured.”

Yemoja crossed her arms and noted that, while he was not recently hurt, she knew about the state he had been in when Zarya found him. She told Flea that after he had drunkenly told her that Zarya had saved his life twice, she asked Zarya once more about the circumstances of their meeting. While Zarya did not seem to fully understand the scope of his injuries, Yemoja told Flea that she knew from what she was told that he had been on death’s door, moments from joining the Great Fire’s Dream.

“Besides saving you from a Dorokui, Zarya said that you told her you got into a fight before appearing in that clearing although she didn’t seem to know more than that,” Yemoja continued. “I understand not wanting to burden Zarya or Umbria, but I hope you can trust me, Flea.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” Flea replied. It was hard for him to admit, but he felt like he could trust her to know some of the truth. However he was also ashamed of his mistakes. He sighed. “It was just a stupid mistake, nothing more… I don’t like to think about it.”

“Yet you do,” Yemoja countered. “Every time the scars of your injuries ache, you remember that moment.”

She approached Flea and asked him to tell her what had happened. As Flea began to protest, saying she had previously said she didn't care to know the future, Yemoja interupted and said that his wellbeing was more important than hiding the truth. She practically demanded he tell her what had happened.

“I intervened in a sword fight to save someone I have feelings for,” Flea replied hesitantly “My opponent was a master swordsman. I thought I could just distract him with my sorcery and fight him from a distance. It’s always worked before with others… but he was faster and stronger than I expected.”

He closed his eyes tightly, trying not to recall the fight, before he continued, “He almost killed me… if the Gate hadn’t sent me here and Zarya hadn’t healed me, I know I would have died… Zarya did what she could but she couldn’t heal me enough to undo all the damage. I’ve tried to hide the scars with my shapeshifting but no matter what form I take, they’re still there and yeah, I guess they do hurt sometimes, but it’s not a big deal.”

Yemoja sighed and asked Flea what had he been thinking, attacking someone while unarmed, regardless of being magically skilled.

"What was I thinking?!" Flea snapped back, suddenly exploding with rage. "I wasn't thinking!"

Yemoja shook her head. She began to speak, telling Flea that the Great Fire would-

"Shut up!" Flea bellowed, getting right in Yemoja's face. "I don't want to hear about your stupid magic bonfire that tells you what to do!"

Flea continued to lash out at Yemoja, yelling as he asked her if her little punches and kicks would have helped him or would he have been dead either way if not by the grace of dumb luck and Zarya’s healing?

Yemoja tried to calm him down and tell him that she was just trying to help and provide wisdom to which Flea responded that she was just as naive as Zarya, sheltered in her precious village away from the rest of the world and she didn’t truly know the way things were in the ‘real world’. He continued to yell at her that she had no idea what he had been through, that her stupid belief in some unseen magic fire wasn’t going to help him and she was stupid to think her platitudes would do any-

There was no warning before Yemoja struck. She was a blur of spotted white fur and periwinkle robes as she swept her leg low and knocked Flea’s feet out from under him. The force of hitting the ground knocked the air out of Flea’s lungs and he found himself gasping for air as Yemoja stood over him.

“I have gone out of my way to help you and I have been nothing but patient to the fact you and Zarya are lost from your places in time, but that is not an excuse for you to mock my faith or belittle me! How dare you presume that I and everyone in this world are somehow lacking in wisdom or intelligence simply because our ways are not as ‘advanced’ as the time you are from?!” she shouted. “Which one of us has been guiding the other?! Teaching Zarya how to read the texts of her ancestors or how to cast spells?! YOU asked for my help! You have witnessed the same miracles as I have, yet you refuse to see the truth of the Dream. If this is truly how you feel, then I will no longer waste your time or mine!”

As Yemoja walked away, Flea groaned and rolled to his side, facing away from her. His back and chest hurt from being slammed to the ground and it took a moment for the air to return to his lungs before he pushed himself up to a sitting position. By the time he managed to sit up, Yemoja was nowhere in sight. Instead he saw Umbria standing by the kitchen with her arms crossed.

“Are you sure shapeshifting is your innate ability?” Umbria called out. “Because it seems like it's actually pissing off everyone you meet. I haven't seen her that angry since the whole bullshit with Koray and me.”

Flea got to his feet and told her to shut up. Looking at Umbria, he asked her where Yemoja had stormed off to. Umbria frowned and glared slightly at Flea, asking him why he would care given that he did not respect Yemoja or care for her help.

“Fine, I overreacted!” Flea shouted. “I know I was an idiot who nearly got himself killed, I don't need her lecturing me like she thinks she’s my mother!”

“She doesn’t think she’s your mother,” Umbria retorted, rolling her eyes. “She keeps hoping you and Zarya will learn to have faith in the Great Fire.”

“Honestly, I don’t understand how neither of you have any spiritual inclinations whatsoever,” she added before Flea could respond. “But I've kept my mouth shut because I wouldn’t know what to say to convince someone as bullheaded as you or as strange as Zarya that the Great Fire exists and its Dream guides the world.”

“Nothing in my life has ever shown me there’s anyone or anything guiding any aspect of it,” Flea replied before teleporting to his room.

He stormed over to his bed and began pushing it towards the door. He knew Zarya would probably keep barging in to bring him food, but he had had enough of Umbria and Yemoja's holier-than-thou atittudes. He muttered and cursed to himself as he pushed the bed towards the door. He was so caught up in his anger, he didn't think to shift into a stronger form… nor did he realize Zarya was standing right there until she spoke.

"Stop fighting, Flea. The Mystic War is all done."

Before Flea could even respond and ask her what she was talking about, Zarya pointedly told him that she had heard him talking to Yemoja the night Yemoja made him stop drinking, stating that she knew he had lied about his promise to her and that he had told Yemoja the truth.

Flea felt a pang of guilt. Normally he didn't care if someone found out he lied, but he found himself feeling ashamed. He sighed and started to try to explain himself when Zarya told him that it was okay. She then suddenly insisted he was scared.

"I'm not-" Flea began to protest, only to be interupted by Zarya again. She told him he wasn't alone and he should ask for help. She told him to be nice.

"They started it," Flea protested. "I don't see why you like those two. They act like they're better than us, judging everything we do. At least they aren't rude to you, but that's because you're just a kid. You got that advantage."

Zarya suddenly got a rather studious expression on her face. After a moment, she asked him if he wanted her to leave.

"I mean, you did just barge in here…" Flea muttered. "Surprised you thought I wanted company."

Zarya shook her head. She repeated herself and told Flea that Yemoja had told her that if he kept being mean, she would have to go away until the eclipse. She emphasized that she didn't want to go away. She wanted his help.

Flea felt his heart drop. He found himself feeling wracked with guilt. He didn't want to be the reason that Zarya had to leave. This was beyond needing Zarya to open the Gate. He genuinely appreciated Zarya's efforts to be kind to him… he just didn't know how to tell her without sounding like he was lying. Flea knew as much as he hated the way Yemoja preached to him or Umbria disrespected him, they cared about Zarya and would make good on such a promise if he didn't clean up his act. However, he had no idea how to 'be nice' the way everyone seemed to expect.

Zarya pleaded once more for him to be nice.

"Zarya, I don't know how to be nice," Flea replied, finding himself suddenly lacking any energy. "I can only lie and pretend… Yemoja and Umbria won't fall for it."

Zarya looked thoughtfully at him. She told him that he could be nice. She said she could teach him and asked him sincerely to let her help.

Flea sighed again. "Sure kid, what do I have to lose?"

Zarya walked over and sat down on the edge of his bed. She told him that first, he had to say he was sorry, then he had to be nicer. Flea was tempted to tell her that such advice was not very helpful at the moment, but he refrained from criticizing her. He waited as she took a deep breath.

"When you feel mad, use a calming strategy. Walk away and take a break. Deep breaths," she said in that odd cadence that told him that she was reciting something said to her. Pointing to the bracelet Flea still wore, she added, "Fidgets help."

"Dunno how to tell you this, but walking away is considered rude," Flea replied, putting his hand on the bracelet and absentmindly turning the beads on its cord. He leaned against the wall and said, "They'll just get mad and yell at me if I do that."

"Yelling is rude," Zarya replied matter-of-factly. "I will teach Umbria and Yemi too."

Flea tried his best to hide the incredulous expression that threatned to come across his face. There was no way that Yemoja and Umbria would listen to her about him. He found himself rolling his eyes and shrugging.

"I guess I should apologize for yelling at Yemoja," he muttered. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Zarya. "I'm guessing you heard everything and that's why you came to bother me in the first place."

Zarya nodded. She asked Flea to close his eyes. Flea wasn't sure why she wanted him to until there was suddenly a bright flash of light. The light was so intense and sudden, Flea found himself cursing and covering his eyes. He heard Zarya sigh.

"It's like staring into the damned sun," Flea complained as his vision returned and he found himself in the courtyard. "Next time, let me do the teleporting. I prefer the darkness."

"Fine," Zarya sighed. She opened the kitchen door to see Yemoja talking to Umbria. Their conversation stopped the moment they saw her and Flea. Flea knew enough to know that when someone stops talking when you enter the room, they didn't want you to hear what they had been talking about. Zarya suddenly grabbed him by the arm and pulled him forward. She declared that he had something to say. Flea found himself a bit annoyed that she put him on the spot like that.

"Yemoja…. I’m sorry you’re upset that-,” Flea began to say before Zarya gently smacked him on the arm with a disapproving frown.

"What?! I'm apologizing like you said to!" he said.

"Try again," Zarya said firmly. "Say 'I am sorry for'… What is Flea sorry about?"

Flea felt absolutely mortfiied to be tutored by a child on how to speak to others. A child that barely spoke sensibly as it was, no less. He bit his lip in frustration and nervousness. Letting out a heavy sigh, he spoke again, finding himself looking at the simple embriodery on Yemoja's sleeves instead of her eyes.

"I am sorry for… saying all those things about you and your religion," he murmured.

Yemoja crossed her arms and asked, "Are you apologizing because Zarya told you to, or because you genuinely feel remorse?"

Flea clenched his fists slightly in frustration before slightly crossing his arms and reaching for the bracelet on his wrist, remembering Zarya's advice about fidgeting rather than yelling. He shrugged, unsure what was the right answer to give in the moment. He did feel bad but he had also been put on the spot. Both were true but he did not know which was the answer Yemoja wanted.

He stood by, brooding over what to say as Zarya insisted he was being sincere. Suddenly, she asked him if he needed some space. He stared wordlessly at her. Of course he wanted some space. He had wanted to be left alone from the moment Yemoja lectured him about his past choices. Before he could muster up an answer, Zarya firmly told him to take a break.

Throwing his hands in the air in defeat, Flea stormed out of the kitchen. He thought about teleporting to the middle of the forest and just screaming or setting fire to something, but he caught himself. Such behavior would just justfy Yemoja's apparent desire to spirit away Zarya. He huffed and his breath hitched as he fought himself to control his emotions.

That's when he heard Zarya tell Yemoja and Umbria something unexpected. He heard her tell them that he was just like her. He heard Umbria loudly disagree with Zarya, saying that he understood them just fine, only for her to be cut off by Yemoja. The funny thing was… Flea realized he didn't understand Umbria or Yemoja. None of the acts he put up worked in this era. He realized he overreacted just like Zarya did over stupid and petty things that weren't really worth all that yelling and anger and sadness.

His thoughts were interupted by Zarya suddenly hugging and apologizing to him. For once, he welcomed the hug. He didn't look her way as he asked her what was she apologizing for. Zarya was quiet for a moment before telling him that she realized he wasn't ready.

Flea found himself letting out a small laugh in spite of everything. There was a lot that he wasn't ready for, but he had the feeling she meant he wasn't ready to apologize to Yemoja and Umbria. He wanted to… he wanted to be believed for once. He glanced Zarya's way and told her it was okay. He forgave her.

Turning away, he sighed, "Zarya… I don't think it matters if I was ready or not, those two will never see me as anything more than a miscreant, a troublemaker… That's my life, kid. I'm Flea, the problem…. You don't need to bother convincing them to trust me, I'm not worth the trouble."

Teleporting away to his room, Flea flopped backward onto his bed which was halfway to the door. He stared up at the ceiling and sighed. A part of him wondered if it would be better if he just left. There was nothing for him to teach Zarya. At least as smug as Yemoja and Umbria were, they had been vastly better suited in teaching Zarya how to survive in this time.

It would figure the first time he genuinely tried to be honest, it would backfire spectacularly. Flea knew the way things were supposed to go was that you apologize and the other person says it's fine and everyone moves on. That was how it worked. So why didn’t it work this time?

Flea couldn’t be sure he fell asleep but some time later, he heard Yemoja call out to him from the door.

"Flea? May we speak before I depart for the village?" Her voice sounded perhaps a bit worried.

Hesitantly, Flea got up and cracked open the door. Yemoja gazed at him with a stern expression. Flea sighed, opening the door a bit more, and said, “Look, if you want to hate me, fine… Everyone eventually does. So I may as well tell you the truth and you can hate me for the right reasons.”

Looking at Yemoja, Flea let out a breath and said, “The person I have feelings for? They are a human, a man… He was fighting the swordsman and I rushed in to save him, thinking my magic would be enough. It was stupid and I’m ashamed of myself for it… I’ve hated myself every day since I woke up here.”

He looked up at her and said, “I know I’m selfish and an asshole. It’s how I survived for this long, but I don't know how to stop.”

Yemoja sighed and gazed at Flea with a weary and disappointed look. She said, “Did you truly think this moment of candor would absolve you of any wrongdoing?”

Flea frowned. “No, not really…”

“Then why bare your soul?” Yemoja asked. “Do you seek pity? Understanding?”

“I don’t know,” Flea muttered. “But it’s like I said, if you’re gonna hate me-“

“I did not hate you before and this revelation does not change things,” Yemoja interjected. She looked sternly at Flea and said, “I am angry, yes… But I am willing to forgive you given the circumstances. Just because I am still hurt by your words does not mean that we cannot reconcile our differences. Perhaps even be friends, unless you desire otherwise."

Flea found himself caught by surprise that Yemoja would suggest friendship given everything he had said and done. It left him speechless. Yemoja regarded his silence for a moment before walking towards the keep’s postern.

Teleporting in front of Yemoja, Flea asked her to wait a moment. He let out a sigh and said, “Yemoja…. I’m sorry and not just because Zarya made me say it. I got embarrassed and angry and I know I shouldn’t have said all that stuff, especially about the Great Flame.”

“Great Fire,” Yemoja corrected firmly.

Flea sighed. “Right. Look, I don’t really think you’re stupid or naive.”

There was a look of weary disappointment in Yemoja's eyes as she frowned and said calmly, “You would not have said those words had they not had a sliver of truth to them for you. Just as I meant my words about no longer wasting your time.”

Flea felt conflicted. As much as he put up a fuss about learning to fight hand-to-hand, he did sort of want to learn how to do what Yemoja could do. He frowned and said, “You weren’t wasting my time. If anything, I was wasting yours but-“

“I see,” Yemoja started to step around Flea to continue her journey home.

“Wait- Damn it… Yemoja, what I’m trying to say is…” Flea struggled to get his words out. “I really am sorry I said that stuff."

Yemoja stopped. A silence passed between her and Flea before she spoke, “Your words were intended to inflict harm, deflect blame… If you are truly sorry, you would be wise to reflect on your actions tonight and do better in the future.”

Placing a hand on Flea’s shoulder, Yemoja told him to work on his temper. She noted that she felt like he only saw the world in extremes of night or day, love or hate. She told him that one could be angry and still want to be friends in the end.

"Heed young Zarya's advice," she urged. "The girl may struggle to use words like you or I, but she is wise beyind her years and she cares deeply about fairness and understanding. You are truly blessed to have a soul like hers enter your life and advocate for you."

Smiling softly at Flea, Yemoja added that she truly needed to depart for the village before anyone realized she was gone and wished Flea luck. Flea lingered at the postern, watching Yemoja slip into the darkness before he returned to his room. His mind was a swirling mess of regret for his actions and consideration of Yemoja and Zarya's advice. Flea drifted off to a dreamless sleep as he focused on their words.

If he wanted to stand a chance to go back to Glenn, he would have to do as they suggested. Be nicer. Do better. Put on the ultimate act.

#chrono trigger au #echoes in time #chrono trigger #chronotrigger #クロノトリガー #flea chrono trigger

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