lovelessmako

[lovelessmako]

[lovelessmako]

one time i hooked up with a guy and he ate my ass and jerked me off and then his boyfriend came home and was like kind of upset that he didn't get to have sex with me too. so i was like hey we can do sex that's fine by me. i can cum again. and so he's like ok lets take a shower together and ill jerk you off in the shower. and as hes jerking me off in the shower he asks if i use my phone while i shower. and i say no. and he says he always uses his phone in the shower. and sometimes he takes off the case and washes his phone with shampoo and water just for fun. and he's broken five phones this year from doing that but he's not going to stop because he just wants his phone to be clean and feel good. hes still jerking me off as he tells me about this. this is a real story you have to believe me

[lovelessmako]

In case you're wondering what raising a kid in a polyamorous family looks like, our kid just has. Zero concept of monogamy. Like we've explained it to her many times but she just like. Forgets it's a thing and the assumed cultural norm. We're showing her Lord of the a Rings and she was very confused when Aragon rejected Eowyn.

"Wait, I thought they liked each other??"

"She likes him but he's already with Arwen."

"So?? He could just be with both??"

Anyway enjoy this meme I found about it

[lovelessmako]

[lovelessmako]

[lovelessmako]

Cursed to be stuck inside this ancient amulet for years but you know I was kind of getting used to it. The solitude had eaten away just enough of my sanity that I'm pretty sure it only would've been a few more days before I started hallucinating some really neat shit.

But then. THEN. This fuckass twink descendant of my mortal enemies picks up my amulet. Takes right out of the sacred chamber. I guess it was finally a ruin now? Worse timing possible, too late to stop me going insane and right before the insanity could pay off.

So some clueless idiot is actually wearing me for the first time in centuries. I'm gonna wreck this dude's shit, I don't care if he is weirdly nice and kind of pretty in the face department. The second I accumulate enough power I'm breaking out of here and making him regret being born.

[lovelessmako]

[lovelessmako]

[lovelessmako]

[lovelessmako]

people who have no idea they're actually quite normal: Omg I was the first one to pass out at the party and my wacky unhinged feral friends drew a dick on my face! This is so crazy and has probably never happened to anyone else before. people who have no idea they're fucking weird: Yeah I was the first one to pass out at the party and one of my friends drew a face on my dick. I know it had to be someone who knew the unlocking code of my chastity cage but that doesn't narrow it down much. We've all been there, right?

[lovelessmako]

me: Man, a lot of my friends are working with vulnerable people and doing irreplaceable work in helping society keep running and here I am doing fuck all and animating titty jiggle physics. What am I contributing here. my brain: But what if the people who do the jobs that you cannot do would like to see a titty jiggle animation when they come home from a horrible day at work. me: ok fair valid point.

[lovelessmako]

Imagine if there was someone using they/them pronouns and every time someone asks them why they do that, like isn't that a plural, they just look at the asker with the most deadpan expression and say "my parents were really poor when I was growing up. They couldn't afford to get us all our own pronouns so me and my siblings all had to share."

[lovelessmako]

Trying to take care of yourself when you're sick is so annoying. Like you know you should probably eat something and you're trying to question yourself on what you'd want to eat, and the only answer is your inner voice of dying Jane Austen going "I desire nothing but death". well ok you dramatic sickly bitch do you want that with garlic or hot sauce.

[lovelessmako]

god this movie was so amazing

[lovelessmako]

[lovelessmako]

[lovelessmako]