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PLL 7B, Ep 9: Farewell My Lovely

Above is actual footage of me watching tonight’s Pretty Little Liars. Maybe it’s because I already guessed who killed Charlotte like 8 episodes ago or maybe it’s obvious that the writers are trying so hard to connect pieces that shouldn’t really connect in the first place or maybe it’s because I can’t believe after 7 seasons these girls still don’t know that a body will disappear if you leave it alone for a minute. Whatever it is I’m bored and I’m really hoping the series finale next week - the TWO HOUR series finale I should say - gives me some earth shattering news. At this point if it’s not Wren or Caleb or even fucking Adam Lambert I’m going to cry at the years I’ve lost watching this. 

So true to form, Tanner is calling for arrest warrants for all of the liars even fake alibi-ed Aria. Oh yea, remember where we left Aria last episode? Archer Dunhill’s body ended up in her trunk as the cops pull up behind her.  Aria is telling a rambling story to a cop about how she went to look in her trunk but then dropped the keys in there and now its locked so she’s waiting for her friends to come with the spare set.  This cop somehow oblivious to who Aria is in this small town of Rosewood, decides to be helpful and give her a hand by shaking the trunk loose.  The trunk pops open and he’s about the look inside when he gets a call on his radio and turns away. Aria quickly ducks in grabs her keys off the dead body and slams the trunk again. The cop nods and goes back to his car. 

Caleb tells the other liars that Mona has the game and it’s “obvious” she’s AD.  They decide they need to confront her and get her to confess since the cops will be moving in any minute.  Caleb says he’ll talk to her but Hanna, obviously the more logical choice, says no she will.  Spencer notices that there’s a bottle message from Mary in the corner but doesn’t say anything to the others.  Ezra is there too and is mad at all of them for cutting off Aria.  He tells them they’ve all made huge mistakes and they all have to live with him. He says the only edge they have over AD is that she can’t forgive and now they don’t even have that.  He storms out and Caleb follows. Caleb asks him if he got through to Toby but he says no and he can’t find Aria either. Caleb thinks he can help him find Aria by doing some caleb voodo magic on her electronic car keys. 

Aria is still driving along but now she’s talking to the dead body in her trunk. Shes asking the body who is AD and then thinks she should’ve just let the cop find him..Then she says ...”maybe I should have, maybe I still can”. She decides that the only way to fix things with her friends is to go to the cops with the body in her trunk and confess.  

In her apartment, Mona is about to open up the game again when she hears a loud crash sound and a cat meow (literally someone played “alleyway sound effects” on a keyboard for this scene I think).  She shrugs but when she lifts off the top of the game, the game is gone and a note is there instead “time for pie, be there”. Reference to boysenberry pie and beer?

Caleb and Hanna approach Mona’s apartment but they hear her coming out and hide, then decide to follow her. 

Spencer goes to the Lost Woods Resort and finds Mary. She says she has some unfinished business - a going away gift.  She says its something for her and Alison.  It’s the lost woods resort.  Apparently Mary owns it and she transferred the deed to Alison and Spencer. She knows they’ll need money to deal with the police.  I’m sure they will get a ton of money from a rundown hotel in the middle of the woods that only Mary Drake, AD, Charlotte, Ezra and I think Alison once have stayed at and only when committing pretty serious stalking crimes. Mary says she owes them and wishes there was something she could do.  Spencer says no one can do that.  They briefly hold hands before Mary leaves. Spencer tells her to be careful and then shes gone.

Emily and Alison know that the police are watching them outside the apartment.  Alison thinks they should forgive Aria and start looking for her. Alison also starts panicking about what is going to happen to the baby if they are in prison - what if it is put in foster care then grows up in institutions like Charlotte? Emily tells her to calm down and when the camera moves away we see in the fireplace there’s a hose where gas is leaking into the apartment. 

Aria is staring at the police station. She slowly starts to walk up to it when Ezra tackles her. Aria tells him she needs to confess so she can make it up to her friends. She tells Ezra the body is in the trunk of her car.

Now, I could’ve sworn that the diner with the pies was out of town. That’s why Ali met her mystery “board shorts” man there so no one can see her, but over the last few years Rosewood has gotten much smaller because here we are, only 10 minutes from Mona’s apartment. Mona walks in, sits and waits. Haleb is watching her.  A car pulls up and Spencer gets out. Hanna said Mona was supposed to meet AD here and Caleb still thinks Mona is AD. They argue and Spencer says you guys are arguing like you guys are married or something. They share an awkward look but don’t say anything about their wedding from earlier.   Spencer tells Hanna about Mary and the lost woods. When they turn back around Caleb is gone. He goes in to meet Mona...is Caleb AD? That’s definitely what Mona believes for a minute when she sees him. 

Mona seems skeptical as Caleb leans over and starts to eat her pie.  Caleb asks her who shes waiting for and Mona says nobody calling his bluff. Caleb tells her that they are gonna go to her apartment, pick up the game then go the police. She tells him she doesnt have it because someone stole it from her “someone is always stealing it from me”. She’s freaked out that shes not in control and there’s always been somebody watching and manipulating. Caleb says  “This is rosewood not area 51.”  He goes to pay the bill but she grabs it saying she doesn’t want anything from him.  She looks at the check (its probably a note) and goes to leave but Caleb grabs her and says “front door’s this way.” Then Hanna storms in, causing Caleb to let go and Mona runs into the ladies room. Caleb, Hanna and Spencer follow her but she’s not in there. She did drop the note behind and it says “leave now”.  Caleb feels along the wall and finds a secret passageway. It’s stairs leading underground. They then realize that Mona’s alibi the night Charlotte was killed was that she was at this diner, but she could’ve escaped through this secret passageway without anyone noticing. Caleb tells Hanna to wait and him and Spencer go down the stairs. 

Ezra is trying to convince Aria not to go to the police but to run away with him. She still says she can’t leave her friends. He thinks they gave up the right to be her friends.  Ezra finally relents though and decides they need to deal with the body. Oh wait, they left a body alone somewhere in Rosewood? You know that shit isn’t going to be there when you get back. Also for no reason Ezra decides he can deal with the body because  “I have a masters degree in american literature, theres nothing I can’t handle.”  Except dead bodies...because this one be gone. 

Ok let’s take a step back for a minute.  Remember the season 6 finale when we found out that Charlotte was A.  Then the writers were like we’re going to flash forward 5 years because it’s getting a little creepy that these girls are still in high school.  They showed us a flash forward clip where Ali is teaching and writing her name (Mrs. Rollins) on the blackboard when Aria, then Spencer and Emily all run in and says “we have to go now he’s here!”.  People have been bugging PLL on Twitter about this scene for a while now, convinced that we still don’t know something because we haven’t “gotten up” to that scene yet. Well fans, I’m sorry to disappoint. The writers never knew what they were going to do in that scene, probably even forgot they wrote it. So now here we are...Ali writing on the blackboard, the girls running in. Then suddenly it goes dark and they pile up the chairs.  Ali is leaning against the door when a zombie hand smashes in and covers her mouth and Emily is screaming, then Emily is on the floor of her house because she’s been dreaming.  Yes...it was all just a dream.   Classic, shit how do I explain that moment. Anyway, Emily and Alison both fell asleep on the couch (remember the gas being pumped in?).  When they wake up the game is back saying “we dont have a lot of time”. Its the video of Ali from season one in the woods flirting with Melissa’s boyfriend Ian Thomas. Before they can react, there’s a knock on the door and Aria/Ezra scream it’s us we need to get out of here. 

Caleb and Spencer are going through the tunnel together. Caleb tells her he doesn’t believe Mona is AD anymore because she was super scared.  He knows that Mona’s just mad that shes not in charge.  Then he turns around and tells her that he and Hanna got married. Spencer says congratulations. Caleb says he wants to say he’s sorry to Spencer for breaking her heart. She says dont apologize for being with me and dont you dare forget it. Unpopular opinion - I think Caleb and Spencer make a better couple than Hanna and Caleb.

Emison and Ezria are in the car driving to where? I’m not actually sure.  Alison apologizes to Aria. She says it’s ok but Alison says its not OK.  She says its the same way she was in high school.  As they drive they find a police check.  Ezra pulls off and turns the car around.  

Hanna, who can’t go down the secret passageway but is fine to wait outside by herself in the dark, is trying to dial anyone’s number but the calls keep dropping. She walks by the Church - yes Rosewood HAS gotten a lot smaller, when she feels flower petals falling down.  Hanna goes up the church steps to the bell tower and finds Mona there, dressed up in her high school nerd outfit - glasses and a ponytail. She then turns to Hanna and says “I’ve been waiting for you Charlotte.”  Hanna tells her that she’s not Charlotte, she’s Hanna but Mona says Hanna wasn’t there, Charlotte was.  **Awkward PLL transition to a flashback alert** Mona tells Charlotte she kept an eye on her, she watched her for 5 years as she faked out the doctors, played the courts and played Ali but couldn’t fool her.  Charlotte remarks that she always was the smart one.  Charlotte asks her who’s going to stop her - her? and Mona says yes. Then Charlotte gets real close to her face and says “do you still see the loser when you look in the mirror because i see her.  None of you are sure, none of you are really certain who you are, I did that. I took that away from you, the same way everything was stolen from me. And now I’m back and everything that I worked for, that’s going to feel like a picnic.”  Then Charlotte stupidly opens the church window.  She looks at Mona and tells her that nobody is going to believe her, she lost the game and the story , everything is Charlotte’s now.  Mona picks up a screwdriver from the floor and presses it against Charlottes back as she wraps her arm around her neck.  She whispers to her that people will think she commited suicide and tells her to jump. Flash forward and we see that she’s about to throw Hanna out the window instead but Caleb grabs Hanna and pulls her back. Hanna looking shocked tells them that Mona killed Charlotte but insists that they can’t bring her to the cops, not “in her condition.” They drag Mona back to the car where hanging from the side mirror are two puzzles  Mona sees them and says  “oh i love puzzles.”

Instead of selling the Lost Woods to pay their lawyer fees, the liars have turned it into their AD hunting grounds.  They place Mona in one room and the game in another.  All the liars stand around trying to decide what to do with Mona. They suggest calling Dr. Sullivan (blast from the past).  Ezra and Caleb stay with Mona while the rest of them go to the game and place the final puzzle pieces in the center. The phone lights up “congratulations claim the grand prize. The eyes have it.” A flash of the missing poster of Archer Dunhill then the phone scans the puzzle image and brings up a 3D ninja picture that they follow to “Aunt Carol’s” house. Remember when Charlotte was transitioning, her and Mary or Jessica (I forget which) symbolically make a grave for her former self Charles to signify her completed transition to Charlotte.  They know that’s where the body is now hidden. They go over there and decide to dig up the body which makes no sense. As they are standing around with shovels, Aria is like..do we really want to do this? She says  they can walk away, leave him to the worms because this is never going to end.  “If we want to stop the crazy, we need to stop acting crazy.”  Spencer then agrees with Aria. Then Hanna agrees and they all walk away but Spencer stands there for a minute. I think she says something in another language to the grave because I rewound it three times and could not understand it. I confirmed on Twitter that it was indeed another language, it sounded like Latin to me. So Is this evil twin Spencer now?? No time to figure out because suddenly there’s lights and a giant digger truck. Oh did you forget the police were following you guys you fucking idiots? Tanner comes out and asks if they need any help.

The police leave them together in an interrogation room at the station. Spencer says they should tell the truth.  She doesnt think they are going to go free. Tanner walks in and says that the body at the farm was confirmed to be Archer Dunhill. She tells them she’ll be back in a minute and shuts the door. Then a video screen turns on and it’s Mary in interrogation. Mary tells Tanner that she killed Archer - she takes the blame and she’s the one who told her where to find the body.  The liars know she didn’t kill him but how did she know where to steal the body from is my question. Mary also confesses that she killed her sister. Thats how Dunhill blackmailed her. Mary says the girls must’ve figured out it was her. Tanner looks like she doesn’t fully believe her but she accepts her story. Do the girls believe Mary is AD? Tanner comes in and tells the girls they are free to go. Tanner is basically letting them go because Mary’s statement pleases the DA - “What I believe and what i can prove are two different things.” She tells them to go home because “they aren’t criminals not really, try to remember that.” So Tanner is going to protect the girls after all.  Spencer requests to talk to Mary but Tanner tells her no. Aria reminds her that Mary did this for her, dont ask her to explain.  As they take Mary out she sees Spencer and does the SHHH face from the opening credits.

Oh yea right, forgot that the boys are still guarding Mona. When the liars get out of their short stay at the police station, they tell Mona that they’ve called Dr. Sullivan to come get her, shes going to be OK. Hanna tells her shes sorry for showing her the game and pulling her in.  Mona says they needed her and it felt so great. She says shes sorry she messed the Charlotte thing up.  And Spencer is like..what do you mean...Then **Another awkward PLL Flashback alert** We see Mona at the window with Charlotte but in the end she doesn’t throw her out she just threatens her.  She’s about to leave her there but Charlotte says i knew you didn’t have the guts and then attacks Mona. Mona tries to fight her off,  pushing her into things and finally into a wall where she breaks her neck on a metal bar sticking out of the wall.  Mona is shocked that she killed her and freaks out. Then we are back to present day and the sun comes up. Like literally it’s dark and they show the sun coming up like a time lapse video. The church bells start to ring. 

As the liars watch, the game turns itself off.  They all agree it’s finished since they caught Charlotte’s killer but they still dont know who actually created the game.  They all agree not to care and leave. Then we hear “I can’t live if living is without you” as the cameras slowly pan over different parts of the game - the school, Radley, the Church, the secret passageway - wait..the secret passageway? You mean to tell me that shit was there the whole time and no one looked at it and was like, what is this secret passageway, where does it lead? Fucking PLL man. Anyway, the cameras continue over the game pieces, then when we pan back the game pieces are in a plastic bag in the backseat of a car. A person in a black hoodie and black gloves (a feminine looking person) is driving into the sunset. 

ONLY ONE MORE EPISODE LEFT! So who is AD? Here are my top 5 suspects:

1. Evil Twin Spencer - There’s no doubt that the show has been focusing on different personalities of Spencer. Her weird interaction with Toby, telling Ezra not to tell anyone he saw her with Wren at the airport, and tonight saying latin over Archer’s grave AND the “shhh” look from Mary.  I don’t really know how it will work but I’m sure they can find a way. 

2. Wren  - Or Wren working with Evil Twin Spencer.  Wren’s always been suspicious - he’s a doctor, he worked at Radley, he’s got a weird connection to Spencer and the Hastings

3. Melissa - Bitch buried a girl alive. 

4. Caleb - I know it will break everyones heart to see a Haleb betrayal but he’s so good with computers and the way he went in to meet Mona when no one was looking and the note just appeared on the table after he got there.  He seems awfully suspicious...

5. Detective Tanner - Hey maybe after all these years she just wanted to teach the girls a lesson about telling the truth and force someone to confess to Jessica Dilaurentis’ murder. 

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PLL 7B Ep 8: Choose or Lose

So I know that expecting the writing on Pretty Little Liars to get better is like hiring Lindsay Lohan to star in a movie and hoping she shows up to work every day. And just like my dreams for an epic Lindsay Lohan comeback year, I will ultimately end up disappointed. I imagine all the writers sat around this season snorting cocaine and waiting to finally realize their Emmy-award dreams on a different show, much like Lohan herself. Too dark? Possibly, she did just appear on Twitter with a new lob haircut, ala Ashley Marin, so maybe all hope is not lost for Lohan.  I can’t say the same for this show.  After tonight there are only two episodes left and I think we can all agree that it can’t come soon enough.  

Emison fully embraced their coupledom this week waking up together and drinking coffee in their living room while they talk about their dreams. Ali apologizes to Emily for tossing and turning all night and Emily says “just becuase you had a bad night doesn’t mean we can’t have a good morning” an invitation for morning sex if I’ve ever heard one. They start making out and move closer to the bedroom but stop short when they realize that the game has mysteriously appeared on the bed. They find the new puzzle piece that Aria left then they hear a siren and a knock at the door. It’s the police with a search warrant. Emily calls Hanna but the police are already at her house too. Hanna tells her she was able to warn Spencer and Aria before they got to them too.  Aria is shredding the police report about Ezra when he walks in and asks her what is going on? Before she can answer there’s a knock on the door and Aria says “it’s the police.”  Ali is freaked out they will find the game but when she follows a cop into the bedroom, the game is no longer there. Spencer comes into the police station to ask for Marco and finds a quite a familiar face instead, the elusive Detective Tanner. 

I expect that Tanner is there to take over the case because she knows these girls. She understands them. She was there when they were kidnapped, stalked, tortured last time!  She knows that there’s more to the story but yet...Tanner acts exactly the same as she did five years ago and that is beyond frustrating from a character development standpoint. Detective Tanner tells Spencer she thinks that Marco seemed distracted or conflicted about the murder of Archer Dunhill.  When Spencer doesn’t bite, she says that Marco told her everything from “barstools to ping pong” right before he took himself off the case. She is giving Spencer a chance to tell the truth but she knows how hard that is for her friends. There’s no compassion in that sentence, only snark. Spencer storms out but before she goes, Tanner tells her she always felt her and her friends were guilty in some way she just never knew how. Oh really Tanner? When you found them after weeks in the bunker you REALLY still thought they were guilty.  This is lazy writing PLL. We’re just doomed to watch the same seasons play out over and over again. 

Back at the Brew (since they live above it) Ezra is asking the beat cop how he can find out what they have the right to seize in this search. The cop tells him that he’ll have to call the station. That is NOT how search warrants work. In the warrant it must state what rooms the cops can search and what evidence they are specifically looking for. Once again it seems that no one on this show has learned what “googling” is.  When Ezra follows the cops to the station, a phone starts ringing from somewhere and Aria realizes its coming from behind a heating grate. It’s a missed call from AD.  She calls back and AD tells her this phone is for her since he/she (for now I’m going to go with she) knows the police took hers. Aria says she wants to meet her.  She says “I’ll text you tonight - wear the uniform.” As Aria hangs up, we also see Mona in her apartment hang up her phone as well, leading us to believe it was her on the phone with Aria and maybe it was but I do not for one minute believe that she is AD. If she is then the series finale might as well be 10 minutes long and it would be something like this “hey ya’ll it’s me again and I don’t have to explain everything because the audience knew the entire time, Ok back to the mental institution bye.” 

Hanna shows up to the Radley bar looking distressed and her mom asks if she’s OK. Her mom wants to know if they are involved in any way in Archer’s death and Hanna tells her mom that she doesn’t want her to get involved. 

All the liars minus Aria are at Haleb’s apartment. Spencer bought them burner flip phones. No one has heard from Aria. Emily mentions that AD was watching Ali and Emily sleep last night and everyone looks around awkwardly before Emily is like oh yea we’re together now and Hanna quips “about time.”  Caleb is trying to hack the game phone but isn’t quite there yet. Hanna stands up and sees that they ordered room service but when she takes the lid off one of the plates, there’s a phone in it and it lights up saying “choose or lose - just one plea the rest go free. If no one steps up you all go down” and a 36 hour ticker. The phone wants them to choose one of them to go to jail or they all go down.  Before they can react Mona walks in (STILL no one locks their doors) and tells them they should talk to Aria for an explanation, she thinks she’s on the AD team. Mona explains all the weird and very obvious things that Aria’s been doing. Emily doesnt believe her. Mona tells her that she saw her get a puzzle piece in the brew and that she hacked her phone and heard her talking to AD. She recorded it and plays it for the liars. Things I will believe: Mona set Aria up to get caught. Things I won’t believe: Mona is ultimate AD. 

Tanner is at Spencer’s house talking on the phone and says they should be able to file charges based on evidence found during the search. A cop brings her an evidence bag with some shards of glass with blood on it that they found in the shower drain. So right now PLL is expecting us to believe that even though this murder happened at least a month ago, probably longer I would say but let’s go with a month to be generous, Spencer never noticed very obvious and large shards of glass in her drain. Or that these shards of glass have been sitting in the pipe shallow enough for cops to dig out. Does Spencer never shower? Did she not notice her shower drain was incredibly clogged with large amounts of bloody glass? 

Hey remember when Toby got married in the hospital and then his wife died 10 minutes after their wedding? Good, because apparently no one else does. A bearded Toby shows up to the Radley bar to meet Spencer. She does not ask how he’s coping with the death of his wife. Instead he tells her that Tanner called him in for questioning. He asks Spencer how she is and Spencer is like..I just can’t.  Toby says he’s been staying at his cabin and invites her to join him. You know my wife died last week and I’m totally over it, want to come live with me in my cabin in the woods?  She rightly avoids the question and asks more about Tanner. He thinks she’s building a solid case because she’s acting encouraged. Toby asks her if she had anything to do with Dunhill’s murder and she says she has to go.

Aria’s leaving the apartment in her “uniform” aka a black hoodie - mighty clever AD, when Ezra asks her what’s going on. She says nothing and before she has to explain herself Ezra’s phone rings (it’s his adorable brother Wesley but that’s not important really to the story. Unless Wesley is AD which in no way would make sense but I would love anyway). Aria leaves before Ezra can hang up. In the shady Rosewood playground, Aria waits for AD. A message on her phone says “you do look good in uniform” she hears branches cracking and goes towards the sound but when she gets there it’s not AD - but the liars, looking mighty angry. They ask her what she’s doing out here and she confesses that she was trying to meet AD. Although shocked that Mona was right, they ask her why she did it and Aria confesses about the police report AD blackmailed her with. They are mad that she chose Ezra over them. Emily yells at her about the game.  Aria reminds Spencer she once kidnapped a kid (yea remember when Ezra had a kid with Alex Mac) and Spencer yells “because of you my parents are getting a divorce” 

Ali gets a call from Tanner telling them to come down to the police station. First off - if Tanner confiscated all their phones, how’d she know Ali’s burner cell number. Also how does she know all the girls were together? No time to figure this out, the girls are off to the station but they tell Aria that she can find her own way. 

Ali, Emily, Hanna and Spencer are already seated when Aria walks into the station and they all glare at her.  Tanner walks in like she’s doing a Steve Jobs presentation saying that she wants to discuss all the evidence.  She brings out the shower drain glass, then notes she knows Hanna had her windshield replaced recently and that they found glass fragments under the fingernail of Archer Dunhill’s finger. The only piece of the body they have remember.   They are also going through their computer search history and have footage from that night at Radley.  Spencer is like why are you telling us this?  Tanner once again says she’s giving them a chance to come clean, and Spencer finally says what I’m thinking “you are the one who rescued us 5 years ago” but Tanner counters saying "that’s because you wouldnt tell me what was happening and ended up in an underground bunker.” Nice job blaming the victim. The point is in the case of Rosewood Occam’s Razor does not apply and Tanner should be doing a better job at digging deeper.  They all leave the station with Aria briefly hesitating on her way out.   On her drive home, she dials AD’s number and yells at her for lying “you were never going to meet me” and she’s the reason her cover was blown.  She says I’m done, ends the call but the call won’t end, AD keeps talking and says “tomorrow is another day” and tells her not to throw the phone out the window. 

The others go back to the Radley bar to watch the countdown clock on the phone. Emily reminds them that they are all guilty seeing that they did indeed kill Archer.  Hanna asks if anyone noticed anything different about Mona this morning but the liars shrug. The phone signals that there are 24 hours left and with the message “pick one or you’re all done”.  Hanna says she was driving, she should turn herself in. Spencer says she should turn herself in and Ali says she should turn herself in because she married him.  Emily is like don’t break up the group (and notably does NOT offer to turn herself in).  Emily reminds Spencer that AD convinced her to play the game on her own first.  Spencer says she has some thinking to do and leaves.

I assume it’s the next day when Caleb is in the Radley bar working on his laptop (if it’s not that it’s very suspicious that Ashley Marin did not notice all the girls sitting around in a circle looking at a phone). Ashley asks him what’s going on with Hanna. Caleb says he cant tell her and Ashley says she knows its about Dunhill. She pesters him and begs him to tell her. He does as we find out when he’s home later with Hanna and she says “I cant believe you told my mom”. If he told her mom why isnt she in this room too asking Hanna if she’s mentally OK after killing a man with her car?  Hanna picks up the burner flip phone and is like, remember when times were simpler and we had these flip phones, there was so much less to worry about. Oh yea, remember how easy it was?

Speaking of high school memories, Spencer shows up to Aria’s apartment and shows her a picture she found of all of them in high school (I assume before Ali was fake murdered).  Aria apologizes and Spencer says she knows she’s sorry but she misjudged her. Spencer admits though that none of them are blameless and apologzies but before a makeup hug can happen there’s a knock at the door and it’s the police with boxes. Tanner says they just received proof that Aria wasn’t in town when Archer was killed. The proof is video footage of Aria in New Hampshire that night.  So after all these years, Tanner isn’t suspicious of mysterious footage that gets sent anonymously to the police station?  We all know that Aria was indeed there that night. Tanner looks at Spencer and says too bad you’re not as lucky as your friend.  Spencer shakes her head at Aria and storms out (she does a lot of storming out in these final episodes). Ezra walks in and still confused says what’s going on. Aria tells him they need to talk. 

Ezra tells Aria he knew about the police file. He found it when she was sleeping the other night.  He says he doesnt blame her for writing that file then and he wouldn’t blame her if she turned it in now (since obviously he knows he’s a creep). Aria says she’s done terrible things. She says she needs to tell him but she needs to do one thing first because she’s not sure he’ll still be here..and that one thing..is have sex.

Caleb brings Hanna to the courthouse and shows her wedding bands. It’s not this easy to get married at a courthouse, you dont just walk up and say hey i want to get married today but I guess in Rosewood you do.  Ashley shows up with flowers and tells Hanna she knows the truth. She says most of which she’s not happy about (MOST?? What is she happy about? That they killed a man?) she says she already called a lawyer but tonight she’s so happy that Caleb will be part of the family.  Hanna says shes going to have to wait until tomorrow since the judge’s office is closed for the night but Ashley is like nonsense and knocks. The justice of the peace opens the door and Ashley is all like..leave it to a mom!

Emily and Ali are walking through the woods alone at night with a flashlight as you do.  Emily suggests they leave town and go to a place no one knows them to raise the child.  Ali tells her that escaping is just a dream. Emily asks is Rosewood a place that dreams go to die (yes) and Ali says no, not all of them.  She says she had a dream of them being here and then they come across a clearing where Ali has set up a picnic and candles. Call me crazy but setting up a picnic in the middle of the woods at night while you have a crazy sociopath stalking you doesn’t seem like the best idea.

Spencer shows up at Toby’s cabin in the woods. Toby asks her about the investigation and Spencer says what’s going to happen is going to happen.  Toby says that doesn’t sound like the Spencer he knows. An evil twin Spencer hint perhaps? Spencer takes off her jacket and drinks an open beer bottle from the table as she sits on the couch. Gross, that beer could’ve been leftover from Toby’s dead wife and he hasn’t had the heart to move it. Spencer says she thought about just driving someplace else. She offers Toby the beer and says you know what it’s like to be the outsider. Toby says he wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Spencer asks if he remember the kiss they shared when they were saying goodbye. She says it was nice, as she rubs his arm, then grabs his face. She leans in for the kiss and they start making out. Cue a 2 minute montage of all the liars having sex with their significant others (except for Haleb who are getting married but I’m sure the sex will come later).  It’s important to note in this scene that as Spencer takes off her shirt, Toby rubs his finger over the bullet scar (that’s now smaller than a scar I have on my leg from a scratch sustained over a year ago). So this is real Spencer I assume, or does Spencer have multiple personalities? Would be pretty hard to hide over the years but I’m sure the writers will find some way to make that work. After all they did somehow make Shana A once. Hey remember when Aria killed Shana but no one cared?

After all the sex, the liars (once again minus Aria) are back at Emison’s house watching the final minute of the clock tick down. Hanna asks them to promise that no matter what happens next, the rest of them should understand and no one will be blamed. They all agree.  The phone starts ticking.. 3..2..1..then an alarm goes off at 0.  “Choose or lose what’s your choice.” Spencer chooses to take a rock and smash the phone. The girls looked shocked and Hanna is like “why didnt we think of this before?”.  Caleb says they should wait there because he got a hit on the phone’s location and he texted Ezra to meet him. Oh so even though they aren’t speaking with Aria, it’s cool that Ezra joins Caleb on a find AD hunt?

Aria is stoically walking around her apartment, then takes out her phone and dials AD’s number.  She tells AD there’s a way to get him out of her life and get out of this and that’s by turning herself in.  She’s going to tell the police that she did it without any help from the others (totally believable since the glass was found in Spencer’s drain, it was Hanna’s car and Aria is on video in another state). AD says that’s very noble but she’s too late. Time’s run out and the game is over, she (Aria) won: “The grand prize is chosen just for you, it’s an unlimited supply of freedom because things are going to get messy with her friends.” Then AD hangs up and the phone SETS ON FIRE. 

Inspector Gadget Caleb is tracking the phone and mentions to Ezra that Mona lives a block away.  Aria is in a car, calls Spencer and leaves a message that she’s on her way. Suddenly she hears something in her trunk rolling around and pulls over. She slowly creeps up on the trunk and unlocks it and inside is Archer’s body. Then she hears sirens as a cop car pulls around the corner towards her and she slams the trunk closed. 

Caleb and Ezra are following the tracker straight to Mona’s apartment door. Using a heat sensor they can see that Mona is inside the apartment. This technology would only work if Caleb snuck into Mona’s apartment and hid a camera in there. There’s no way for a heat sensor camera to see through doors. It does not have x-ray vision.  Either way, inside  Mona is leaning over the game watching it light up, a jail pops up from the bottom and she puts on her glasses and smiles.

So do I believe that Mona is AD now? Absolutely not. I think Mona is a genius and she’s fascinated by the game. I do need to believe that deep down the writers actually do understand their characters. All Mona wants is to be part of the group and what better way to be accepted than to figure out who AD is on her own while protecting them from going to prison? She’s taking over the game from AD in order to figure it all out. Let’s also remember that Caleb was trying to hack the game phone - the game that we know Mona stole from Ali’s house. The phone with the countdown clock is a completely different phone. Plus there’s still two episodes left. Why was Spencer (if it was real Spencer) talk to Wren in the airport? Why are there so many hints about Spencer’s “two sides.” Where the fuck is Aria’s entire family? Remember when she used to have a brother that was in love with Mona? And who really killed Charlotte? Well, that is apparently a question we will get the answers to next week...

[lovethefinalseason-blog]

PL 7B, Ep 7: Driving Miss Crazy

Only four episodes left forever and after this there will only be three until we finally found out who uber A AKA AD is. The writers are certainly throwing a lot of red herring suspects at us. Obviously whoever is AD needs to be a tech genius, have a ton of connections, hold a grudge against the liars and want revenge for Charlotte (Cece/Charle)’s murder. Of course, we still don’t know who actually murdered Charlotte and the topic isn’t broached much on the show. I’m starting to wonder if we will ever find out or if the AD revelation will even make sense. Let’s be honest, we all know it won’t. Literally nothing makes sense on this show. The most obvious candidates for AD are Caleb and Mona - both incredibly smart and tech savvy but unless one of them turns out to be yet another illegitimate child of Mr. Hastings, I don’t see any real motive. Then there’s the Spencer has a twin theory. It was plausible a few weeks ago when she mysteriously met with Wren at the airport (and I do really hope Wren makes another appearance in the last 3 episodes, I’ve long held a Wren is A theory), but I’ve not seen any evidence of evil twin Spencer in the last two weeks. This week’s episode offers no new clues but it did give me one genuine shock moment and a very cute engagement story.  So let’s get on with it then!

Aria has finally decided to take those salsa lessons with Ezra - side note, normally Aria’s fashion sense borders on ‘maybe you belonged in Radley’ but tonight her outfits are all very cute, especially her bright pink salsa sandals. After class, Ezra is annoyed because he keeps getting texts from his brother Wesley - remember Wesley! Ezra’s younger brother who was very adorable and age appropriate for Aria. They kissed once but then decided it wasn’t right. True to form, Ezra’s mom doesnt like Wesley’s new girlfriend and doesn’t want her to come to the wedding. Aria feigns interest in the story and sees that she received a text from AD.  Ezra is oblivious to AD and thinks she’s just worried about the wedding. He tells her he’ll take care of it and leaves.  When he’s gone, Aria opens up the facetime with Paria who’s still threatening her with the mystery file. Paria tells her to deliver a gift to Spencer and her family. Aria says no, she doesn’t want to hurt her friends anymore to which Paria responds “does the groom know you once referred to him as a ‘twisted conniving predator’ and that you wanted the police to charge him.” Aria says that was 6 years ago  and Paria laughs and says luckily for me there’s no statute of limitations on this. Actually fact check - there is. In Pennsylvania victims under the age of 18 who were born before August 27, 2002 have 12 years after their 18th birthday to file criminal charges. So they are still within the statue of limitations and it literally took me 5 minutes to google that. You could’ve done the same PLL writers. 

Marco shows up to Hanna’s apartment to talk to her about the flooding at the Radley hotel. A witness saw her and Caleb there that night. Caleb says of course they saw me, I live there.  Hanna stupidly tells the cop that Caleb helped her mom upgrade the security system in exchange for a room at the Radley.

Spencer is helping her parents pack up their stuff for the move (remember Spencer’s mom got elected as a state senator  so they are selling the house and moving to Harrisburg). Emily is there and mentions that Ali is off visiting her brother Jason in NY. This makes sense considering that 3 parental figures show up in tonight’s episode, so they probably couldn’t afford to also have the 5th liar. In one of the boxes marked “trash”, Spencer finds a a blanket from Radley Sanitarium. Her and Emily think it’s the blanket she was brought home in. Before we can get sentimental (and wonder how Spencer didn’t find this blanket sooner), Hanna texts saying “need to play the game.”

Hanna is freaking out about any other evidence that Marco might’ve found - especially the shovels they used to bury Archer Dunhill. She insists they have to play the game. The liars remind her that it doesn’t work like that, you need to be chosen, and then Hanna looks at Aria and asks why she hasn’t had a turn yet and Aria is like umm...i dont know. Just then, Mona walks in and it’s Spencer’s turn to freak out, wondering what the F she is doing there while trying to hide the game from her. Hanna finally tells them that she already told Mona about the game. They need Mona’s help because she’s smart (duh).  Mona has a short list of AD suspects - “starting with Jenna Marshall and ending with Mary Drake.”  Apparently Mona also helped replace the windshield on Hanna’s car after they killed Archer Dunhill making her an accessory. This begs the question - why isn’t Mona a piece on the game? She was part of the original dollhouse kidnapping. She also hated Charlotte and had every motive to kill her.  This could indicate that she is AD - makes sense but feels too much like another Lucas-esque red herring. It could also be that whoever is AD knows the four of them killed Archer but doesn’t know about Mona’s involvement. Or AD knows that leaving Mona out is torture for her because all she’s ever wanted was to be included in the group. 

Anyway, back at the Radley where Caleb apparently lives, he runs into Hanna’s mom Ashely with a new lob haircut.  She’s tells Caleb she is concerned and wants to talk to him in private. She’s been in a meeting with the Rosewood police about her burst pipes and she’s wondering if he really had anything to do with it and if it’s because he’s protecting Hanna. Caleb looks Ashley in the eye and tells her that Hanna is not in trouble. Again, this also brings up some “could he be A feelings”. Caleb is very good at lying, he didn’t even flinch when he just lied straight to Ashley’s face. He’s also a tech genius and what do we really know about him except that he once lived in the ceiling of Rosewood High School. Again, I think this is a red herring and while I think it would be pretty awesome, it would seriously piss off a slew of Haleb fans. 

Back at Spencer’s parents house, Aria shows up with two bags of food.  Spencer is mad about Mona. While she packs and bitches to Aria about it, Aria takes out a burner smart phone and connects it to the Hastings bluetooth. She then drops the phone into one of moving boxes, then says she really needs to get back to wedding planning with Ezra and leaves.  Literally a minute after she leaves a phone call between Mr. Hastings and Mary starts blasting in the room where Spencer is packing. It’s Mr. Hastings yelling at Mary for burying Jessica in his backyard and Mary saying “I didn’t have a choice, if it wasn’t Jessica, it would’ve been me six feet under.”  Mr. Hastings runs in and freaks out trying to find out where it’s coming from. He finds a speaker then  runs outside to find Mary. The recording doesn’t stop though and Mrs. Hastings also runs into the room looking disgusted at what she’s hearing. When Mr. Hastings come back in, she asks who recorded that conversation and he says “how should i know it was 100 years ago!” to which Spencer corrects him and says 6.  Mrs. Hastings immediately picks up the phone to call the police but her husband says no and Spencer agrees.  While Mr. Hastings definitely looks guilty, Spencer is just afraid that Marco will show up. 

Mona is over at Emison’s inspecting the the board game. Mona tells Emily that she knows who paid for the procedure to get Ali pregnant. Instead of telling Emily, she says she has an appt with the dr. the next morning at 11 where she will pretend to be Emily’s girlfriend. If I was Emily I’d be like

At the brew, Hanna and Caleb are talking - she is worried her mom is going to know they are lying. Ezra comes over with some coffees for them - hey remember when Ezra bought the brew? Yea he still owns it somehow.  Ezra, oblivious to the board game and everything happening around him, complains to Caleb and Hanna that his family is ruining is wedding. He just wants a private ceremony for two.  Just then Aria walks in and a super happy Ezra asks her to stay for dinner but she says she’s not hungry and goes upstairs to their apartment (yes they live above the Brew).  

The next morning, Emily and Mona show up for their doctor’s appointment, talking about their fake artificial insemination. Emily acts weird when the doctor asks the question “have you ever been pregnant before.” Mona tells the doctor that they were referred by another patient of his, Alison Dilaurentis and the doctor immediately tells them he can’t help them and they need to find another doctor.  When they leave Emily tells Mona she thinks this was a stupid idea. Mona tells her that some ideas take longer to execute, then takes out a “fertility now” magazine she stole that has the doctor’s personal address on it.

Spencer finally finds the burner phone that Aria planted and looks like she might finally be putting some puzzle pieces together..

I think she finally figures it out because she calls Aria and tells her that there’s a burner phone in the box that is ruining her family.  Aria acts innocent asking her how it got there and Spencer says she doesn’t know but she needs to her mom about the game. Aria tells her no, Mona might still figure out who’s running the game. Ezra comes in and she hangs up on Spencer fast.  Ezra finally asks if she’s ok and then tries to change her mood by playing a song for their first dance. She doesnt have a good reaction to it, and Ezra thinks that she has reservations about the wedding. Ezra says he knows there are things that he’s done that cant be undone and can’t be forgiven. He thinks she still has doubts about whether she can trust him and that there��s a part of her that can’t forgive him for taking advantage of her and her friends for the sake of a book (OR FOR BEING A PEDOPHILE) She says nothing, just gives him a hug. 

As Spencer leaves her parents’ house, she sees a car lingering with it’s lights on out front. It’s Marco. She asks “when did we go from dating to stalking” and he says that he’s there to do another followup interview. Marco says Ashley told him about her and Caleb’s past relationship and asks her if her interest in him has anything to do with her suddenly needing a cop in her corner.  She looks at him and says “if you have anything to say it can be in your office, under flourescent lights and i promise it will not be me who’s embarrassed.” He gets back in her car and she watches him drive off before getting into her own car.  Before she can start the ignition, Mary pops up from the backseat, covers her mouth and says “drive.”

Mary brings her to the Lost Woods Resort, the creepiest hotel that I’m surprised the cops still haven’t found. Mary says it’s sad that Spencer is afraid of her. I mean, popping up in the backseat of someone’s car would make anyone afraid of you.  Mary tells her that she didn’t plant the phone in her house but she heard the recording while she was waiting outside. She thinks the hospital probably recorded it as they recorded a lot of her phone calls. Mary looks at Spencer and says, you’d be surprised at the things you’d have to do to protect yourself. Suddenly we’re treated to the most awkward flashback transition. It’s 6 years ago and Mr. Hastings is letting Mary into the Hastings’ residence, he tells her “take a good look because this is the last time you’ll ever be allowed in here. You’ll never see Spencer again.” As they are arguing, Jessica walks in and says “I thought we were taking care of this.” Apparently Mr. Hastings and Jessica planned to murder Mary but Mary got the best of them and gave the medications meant for her to Jessica instead. They were identical twins so they had the same medical problems (I guess some sort of faulty drugs mixed with a heart condition killed Jessica).  She’s tells Spencer that she’s been cheated out of so much, most of all knowing her then asks if she’d consider staying with her.  

I forgot to mention that Hanna went back to a cabin in the woods where the liars apparently stole the shovels they used to bury Archer Dunhill. A security guard catches her and she tells him she needs a shovel to dig her car tire out. He tells her that all the shovels were taken. A few scenes later Hanna comes back to her apartment freaking out to Caleb about the missing shovels. As she’s yelling her mom comes out and says “hello stranger”. Apparently the rooms in this apartment must be soundproof because she didn’t hear anything Hanna just yelled about being wanted for murder.  Ashley asks Hanna if Emily is still living there and Hanna tells her that she moved in with Alison.  Her mom looks at the two of them and asks if they are moving in together then.  Caleb tells her the situation isn’t permanent.  Ashley then looks directly at Caleb and says “I know you’re back in Hanna’s life, I just want to know why.” Keep in mind, Hanna is standing right there and she’s like um, hello mom, I can hear you.    Caleb says he’s here because he needed Hanna’s help, he needed to figure things out, like how he felt about her. He says she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He cant imagine his life without her and he doesn’t want to. Ashley is like...what are you saying?  And Caleb says “I want to marry your daughter Mrs. Marin. No bells and whistles, just the two of us exchanging vows, finally making it official.”  Hanna smiles and Ashely with literally no excitement on her face possibly due to too much botox finally says..well, we now have something to toast!

When we get back from a series of seriously annoying Iliza Schlesinger commercials we are treated to the worst scene that’s ever happened on pretty little liars to date. And that scene is Aria’s black and white musical dream of herself in a toilet paper wedding gown in prison watching Ezra get beat up by other dancing inmates while Mona sings jailhouse rock. No, I was not on shrooms while watching this, this is a real scene that really happened. It’s also a full three minutes long and ends with Mrs. Hastings looking at Aria and saying “I wouldnt piss on you if you were on fire”. 

When she finally wakes up, she’s on the couch with a sleeping Ezra.  Her phone vibrates -  “You’ve waited long enough your reward is downstairs at the brew - AD”.  She then goes downstairs to the brew, begging the question if they jointly own this coffee shop, how is it still open while they sleep on the couch upstairs. Who’s running it right now?  Aria not so secrelty starts looking under things and in books and baskets around the coffee shop. She finally spots a piece of paper under a table leg and picks it up. It’s an envelope marked “Aria” and inside is a puzzle piece with a note - “Connect this, you’re almost there” As she’s looking at the piece, she feels someone watching her looks up and sees Mona staring at her. 

Earlier that day Mona and Emily went back to the doctor’s.  Using his home address, Mona somehow found out that he got cash to pay off a medical school bill loan overnight. They demand to know who paid him. He doesnt have names because it was all handled electronically but he does have a donor’s ID number. Mona accepts that because of course she’ll be able to figure out who it is. 

When Spencer finally gets back to her barn, her parents are there looking at the letter from Mary. Mr. Hastings is pissed and says that it’s all a manipulative ploy. He yells that he was protecting the family from a deranged sociopath who was trying to ruin their lives and he would do it again. He then looks at Spencer and says “If someone continually threatens you Spencer, I don’t think you would do any different.” It’s almost like they forgot that someone used to stalk their kid AND KIDNAPPED HER. After he leaves, her mom picks up the letter and hands it back to her. She then tells her to start unpacking boxes because they aren’t going to Harrisburg, shes forfeiting her senate seat. She can’t risk having her husband’s attempted murder in her past.  Spencer tells her that Mary didn’t bring the recording into the house and her mom says really, who did? Spencer looks like she’s about to say something - will she tell her mom about the game? That the stalking is happening again? Unfortunately, we won’t find out this week. 

Hanna is frantically walking through the woods with a flashlight and stumbles on a tent. When she opens it, Caleb is inside and she asks why he wanted her to come here.  When he dropped her mom at the hotel he decided it was better to be off the grid because her staff looked suspicious of him.  Hanna asks if his proposal was real or was he just trying to throw her mom off the scent. He says he would marry her right this second if they could find a bear who was licensed.  Hanna takes out wine and cigars from her bag. She slips the paper ring off one of the cigars and slips it on his finger. He does the same to her with the second cigar.  They then start making out and the camera pans away to lots of clothes coming off, much like the first time they had sex. 

Back at Emison’s we are supposed to be scared of a hooded figure hovering over the board game, but it’s just Aria of course connecting the next puzzle piece. As she does the phone lights up “Congrats your grand prize is behind you.” She turns around and finds her never filed police report in a vase on the shelf. 

Emily, super pumped from besting the doctor earlier, gives Mona the phone Spencer found in her house. She asks Mona to find out whatever she can from it. As they get to the door of Mona’s apartment, Emily tries to come in to show her something and Mona brushes her off, saying they still have tomorrow then quickly goes into her apartment and locks a thousand locks and watches Emily leave through the peephole. I know we’re supposed to be suspicious of all the locks on her door but let me just say again, these girls were tortured and kidnapped. They should all be locking their doors and closing their blinds but none of them do, so obviously Mona really is the only smart one.   Mona sits down at her desk, turns on her computer and starts typing.  The camera pans out and we see a large evidence board with newspaper clippings, photographs, yarn, the works and in the corner - the four missing shovels.  

[lovethefinalseason-blog]

PLL 7B, Ep 6: The Glove that Rocks the Cradle

There’s only a few more episodes left until the “big reveal” finale on June 27th so of course the writers need to stretch out every twist, throw in every red herring and vaguely mention the liars parents just to reassure us they are not all still trapped in a basement somewhere drinking wine. Tonight’s episode featured Lucas’ big reveal and just like my last sexual encounter it was quite anticlimactic.  While it was mildly surprising to find out that Lucas was friends with Charles growing up a few episodes back, that reveal happened too early so it was obvious that he’s not AD. Plus letting Hanna live rent free in his giant apartment isn’t really much torture - even if they found out he only did that so that he could bug the whole thing and listen to their conversations.  Most of their convos seem to happen at Ali’s house or Spencer’s barnyard apartment. As far as I’m concerned there was never a big mystery surrounding Lucas. The biggest mystery on the show right now is why, after years of harassment and at least two kidnappings, do none of the liars own a security system, lock their doors and windows or even close their curtains. Even Neve Campbell moved to a secluded cabin in the middle of nowhere after Scream 2. Then again in scream 4. Of course, if you’ve yet to watch tonight’s episode, then everything I’m saying right now makes no sense, so let’s get on with this recap. 

Spencer is in an interrogation room with a cop that is shockingly not Marco. He’s asking her about Archer Dunhill and the night she met Marco in the bar - and the joke about her saying she just finished “burying a body”.  Spencer dodges all his questions then the cop leaves and Marco comes in, sitting down slowly. He tells her she’s standing in quicksand and he’s offering her a rope.  She holds her water, looks at him then drinks it, knowing shes leaving her DNA. Then asks, can I go home now? Anyone who’s ever watched an episode of Law and Order knows that she was free to leave at any time since she wasn’t under arrest.  Marco suggest she gets a lawyer.  I can suggest two right of the top of my head - Mr. Hastings and Mrs. Hastings. 

In happier news, Emily surprises Ali by setting up a nursery in Ali’s old bedroom.  Ali basically asks her to move in then notices the box of stuff and slowly takes out an item from the box.  Emily says she found all the stuff in her attic, Ali’s mom saved everything there, all wrapped in tissue paper. 

Aria opens a face time message from Paria who tells her to “never send her to voicemail again”. She ends the message just as Ezra walks in and makes a remarks about Aria’s nightmares the night before.  She says she was just restless.  He says he has the perfect solution for her and hands her flyers for ballroom dance lessons.  I’d be like..

Aria says shes not sure about her schedule right now so says she can’t commit. Then a message comes in from Spencer telling her to go to Ali’s house right away, so she takes her jacket and leaves Ezra.  Important side note: Aria’s jacket says Aria across the back, in case you are confused. 

Spencer tells the girls that she accidentally used Rollin’s (Archer Dunhill’s) credit card the night they killed him.  At first they are mad that she was drunk but they quickly get over it and Emily suggests she gets the receipts. Hanna quickly interrupts her and says she can get them - lest we forget her mother owns the Radley.  She knows how to get in without the security cameras seeing her and she knows there’s a big Radley staff meeting the next night so no one will be around. 

Ezra meets with his publisher at the Brew to go over his press packet for the new book that he cowrote with Aria. He’s concerned that the entire press packet is about Nicole. His publisher says well that’s what the book is about and the story is still big in the press, people want to know if it works out between them.  Ezra says that Aria wrote half the book and he’s engaged to Aria now and his agent is like, well I didn’t tell you to get engaged.

Hanna’s secret weapon for shutting down the Radley security sytem? Caleb of course because he created it. Unfortunately he created it too well. He tells Hanna the system can only be shut down for 10 minutes at a time otherwise it automatically calls the police.  Suddenly the game lights up, the message on the phone says  “Pick up my homework or go to detention, remember prison food makes you fat”. #HeftyHanna.  At the same time Aria gets a message saying “Hanna thinks its her turn but yours isn’t up yet and you’re playing for me” - AD.   Hanna’s AD mission is to go to a computer repair shop to pick up a flash drive then drop it off at the locker at Rosewood High (the same locker that Aria dropped the comic book in last time). Caleb wants to go with Hanna but she refuses. She doesn’t want him to end up in the ER again. Hanna also reveals that she blames them for Spencer’s mistake. Hanna promised her that she was over Caleb, and let Spencer fall in love with him. Then Caleb broke up with her that night because he kissed Hanna, which led to Spencer drinking too much in a bar and making out with the cop who’s now investigating them for murder. 

Speaking of Spencer, she is now helping Emily assemble some more baby furniture. Spencer thinks she can convince Marco that she’s innocent or to give up on the Archer Dunhill case but Emily warns her not to overestimate someone’s feelings, its risky.  Spencer says arent you doing the same thing with Ali with this baby? How do they know it will work out? It’s not a puppy it’s a baby.  Emily tells her to stop judging her and Ali.  

Ezra tells Aria about his publishers plan to make the press tour all about Ezra and Nicole. She doesn’t even want Aria involved at all.  Ezra says he won’t do it but Aria tells him she wants him too.  Selling the book will help them build a better future and she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight right now (being investigated for murder does have a way of messing things up).  She says she also doesn’t feel comfortable answering questions about Nicole but she’ll be there in the audience at every event. 

Hanna picks up the flash drive from the computer repair shop.  Caleb plugs it into his computer and it brings up one music file. It’s Patsy Cline singing “you belong to me.” Hanna says that A only played Patsy Cline in the dollhouse. 

Marco is going over his notes in his apartment when theres a knock on the door.  Of course it’s Spencer. She asks him to talk to her and tells him she’s the same person she was 3 days ago when they were sleeping together.  He says that might be true but it turns out that he didn’t know that person that much.  Spencer, who once again should consider talking to a lawyer before she speaks, tells him that Dunhill was a monster, he preyed on people, why shouldnt he die in the same way he lived?  Marco says its his job to found out who broke the law not why.  It’s actually kind of also his job to find out why.  Motive I believe is the number one thing police are supposed to find out in interrogation rooms.  Spencer begs him to let this slip through the cracks. He just stares at her, then hands her a tissue and says no.   His phone starts ringing and he asks spencer to leave.  When he’s in the other room talking on his phone she sees a pile of flash drives on his counter. One is labeled Lucas and she slips it into her pocket before she leaves.  

The liars gather at Spencer’s and watch as she plugs the flash drive into her computer. It’s a video of the police interrogating Lucas after Charlotte (CeCe/Charles) was murdered. He tells the police that he lied about Hanna’s whereabouts that night because she asked him to cover it up.  He says he wouldn’t be surprised if her friends were involved in the murder. The girls are now convinced that Lucas is involved with AD but Hanna still doesn’t believe it because he’s her friend.  Hanna says she knows in her heart her friends will never hurt her - but Aria cuts her off saying that’s not true. Is Aria about to confess to helping AD?  Nope! She just points out that Hanna was once so afraid of Lucas she pushed him out of a rowboat. Aria suggests staking out the locker where Hanna is supposed to drop off the hard drive. Hanna asks her how she knew about the locker, and Aria plays it off saying oh she just thought she mentioned that once.   

 Emily comes into Ali’s house, saying that her mom is away for the weekend (and basically forever) so she ran home and to get a mobile for the crib. What I’m understanding from that is - 1. Emily is not planning to tell her mom that Ali is pregnant with her baby and 2. her mom keeps random baby items in her house.   Emily says she’ll make breakfast but Ali says shes running late. Emily notices that Ali hasnt taken her vitamins yet and gets pissed. She says Ali always says they’ll do things together and then bails on her all the time.  Ali angrily takes the vitamins and then leaves.  When she’s gone Emily gets a text from Hanna that says “got the game instructions.”  Hanna has to drop off the drive at the school at the same time the staff meeting is on at the Radley so she has to be in two places at once. Emily says they will hide out at the high school so they can catch AD picking up the drive from the locker.  Aria innocently says she promised Ezra she would go to a press event tonight with him so she can’t go. After they all leave, Spencer and Caleb stay behind.  Spencer is looking at her phone annoyed and tells Caleb that it’s Rosewood PD wanting to schedule her second interview.  Caleb says he’s sorry.  She says its not his fault but he says isnt it?

As Hanna is leaving Lucas’ she opens the door to Mona.  Mona asks where shes going and Hanna’s about to lie but Mona cuts her off and asks why she’s not letting her in on the game.  Hanna tells her the others can’t know she’s involved.   Mona realizes that Hanna didn’t tell the other liars that she showed her the game.  She can’t believe they still don’t trust her and asks what does she have to do to be part of the group! 

Aria doesn’t show up to Ezra’s press event that night. He texts her a few times where are you but she doesn’t answer. 

At Rosewood High, Hanna drops the flash drive in the locker then looks over at Ali and Emily who are “hiding” behind a door wearing bright colors and talking loudly to each other about their earlier fight.  Unbeknownst to them, back at Ali’s house someone is breaking into the apartment and replacing Emily’s precious mobile with a creepy one made of slashed up Barbie dolls. And that someone is...ARIA.   She watches it spin around, then proceeds to rip up pillows and smear blood on the walls.  Oblivious to it all, Emily apologizes to Ali for earlier saying she’s just scared she wont be able to do this with the baby. Ali says she feels like Emily is testing her.  Before she can respond, they hear a noise and know that they missed AD because they are the worst spies ever. They run after the perp, splitting up in the process but Emily stops when she hears Ali yell in pain.  She finds Ali on the stairs, shaken up but OK. They decide to call it a night and go home.  

Unfortunately, Aria is still not done trashing their baby room when she hears the door open and realize shes about to get caught.  She trips over some boxes, which Ali and Emily hear.  Then she runs into a crib and knocks down some more things. 

Emily takes a candlestick and slowly starts to creep around the house.  Aria hides in a corner hoping not to get caught.  While she’s stuck in the house, Ezra is at the press event by himself, fielding questions from the audience. Someone asks if there’s another book in the works and will he continue his journey with Nicole. He tells her no, he’s moved on and is engaged to his co-author Aria. 

Somehow Aria got out and is now acting innocent as all the liars stand around surveying the AD damage to the nursery.  Ali thinks the hard drive thing was a set up.  Emily says whoever it was had a helper because there’s no way whoever was at the school could’ve beaten them back there in time to do all this damage. As Spencer helps Emily clean up some of the damage, she sees an earring on the floor. She picks it up and looks at Aria asking if it’s hers (knowing that it is).  Aria says ooh I thought I heard that drop when we came in here and takes the earring back from Spencer.  

Hanna is now in the Radley storage room looking through boxes of receipts to find Spencer’s.  Keep in mind she only has 10 minutes to find this one receipt, and her mom apparently keeps every single receipt in giant evidence boxes for no reason. Caleb comes in to remind her they only have a few minutes before the police are called but she’s freaking out. He takes all the boxes and dumps them on the floor, then uses a metal pole to burst a pipe in the room before pulling Hanna out. Caleb then frantically tries to turn the security system back on. He tells Hanna he needs to run downstairs to reboot the security system.  As he leaves she receives a voicemail from Mona who says she’s still at the high school alone.  Emison mistook her for the real AD and chased her which must’ve scared off real AD because no one has come for the drive.  As the security cameras load back up, Hanna sees Lucas at the Radley looking around, waiting. 

Spencer is at her house watching tv under a blanket when Marco calls. He knows she took the drive and tells her to give it back “or else”.  Turning into evil  Spencer, her voices changes and she says “if i did take the drive that would mean i was in your apartment alone. At night. With you. I wonder if people would think that was strange.”  He hangs up, then immediately Spencer gets a call from Hanna. 

Lucas is frantically rifling through all his drawers in his apartment when he realizes people are watching him and looks up to see all of the liars (sans Mona) standing there.  They ask why he’s freaking out and he says he can’t find the book. He then confesses that he didn’t know that Charles was Charlotte.  He only communicated through email. He used to email Charles stories of how Ali tortured him throughout high school and all her friends just stood around doing nothing. He thinks he’s the reason that all of them were tortured by Charlotte. He says the comic they found was sent to him with a note that says if you “want to keep our friendship a secret, meet at the Radley tonight.”  He did but no one showed up.  Then Lucas reveals that there’s another unfinished comic called “end game” and that’s what he was looking for but it’s not longer here. It details torture and secrets that he doesn’t want AD to know about but he doesn’t know how the book ends because it was never finished. I’m literally watching this scene like:

After everyone leaves, Hanna offers Lucas a glass of whiskey. He drinks it, thanks her then goes to leave. Hanna tells him that she believes that he wasn’t part of AD but then asks why her factory is for sale. He looks at her sadly and says he thinks she’s really talented but he had trouble getting other people to believe him. He was the only investor and he didn’t have the money to invest anymore. She is like wait I tortured you in high school and now I lost all your money and you’re still letting me live in your apartment. but why though, what’s worth losing everything.  He looks at her and says “you.” She smiles and says thank you, then he leaves.  

At Spencer’s second interview, Marco tells her that the storage room at the Radley was deliberately flooded and the security cameras went down at the exact same time.  She doesn’t react just says, that must make your life very difficult.  Marco says he won’t stop investigating her then leaves.

As Ali and Emily clean up Aria’s mess they joke about how brave they were facing down AD (who we know was really Mona).   Ali remarks that Emily has always protected her and Emily asks so why do you always push me away.  Ali says she doesn’t know but shes ready to stop.  She wants to do this, together. She wants to be a family.  Ali says she finally realized that the reason she’s been in so many failed relationships is because she loves Emily.  Then she kisses her. 

Aria finally gets back to her apartment, takes out her phone and sees a note from Ezra saying “you didn’t miss much, be home soon”.  She looks down at her arm and sees a giant scratch. Holding the scratch she sits on the couch and starts crying. 

As suspected, in the last scene we see AD holding the second comic “end game”.  They turn to a blank page and begin to drawer a tree, then next to a tree a gravestone.  On it they write “Here Lies...”

[lovethefinalseason-blog]

PLL 7B, Ep 5: In the Eyes Abides the Heart

Welcome back! It’s been 2 weeks since the last new episode so let me remind you where we last left the liars.  Hanna found out that Pastor Ted, her mom’s ex-fiance, was the father of CeCe aka Charlotte aka Charles.  Pastor Ted also innocently let her know that Charlotte had a childhood friend by the name of Lucas, the genius gaming millionaire and former high school classmate letting Hanna stay in his apartment for free.  Spencer finds out from her dad that Mary Drake killed her twin sister, Ali’s mom Jessica, and tried to frame him for murder by burying the body in the Hastings backyard.  Aria finds out that Sydney is indeed working with AD and is given a choice - play the game and be tortured by AD or join AD and watch her friends be tortured but be safe herself. Hmm...tough choice, I don’t know let me see what would I do...I think I would get a good lawyer and GO TO THE FUCKING POLICE.  What else, what else...oh right..ALI IS PREGNANT WITH EMILY’S BABY.  

Tonight’s episode, we are reminded every commercial break, was directed by Spencer herself, Troian Bellisario - fitting because after this episode I am officially convinced that the “Spencer has an identical twin” theory is real.  This theory goes two ways - either there are two Spencers running around (the more likely theory) OR Spencer really did die of her gun shot wound to the heart and fake Spencer took her place (my preferred ending for how ridiculous it would be).  

At the start of the episode Emily and Ali are wondering what they should do about the baby.  Emily feels angry and violated, the most real feelings I’ve ever heard from any of the liars. 

Aria is hiding out behind a dumpster outside a restaurant holding her phone. When her facetime rings, a creepy face comes up that seriously looks like a Paige and Aria faceswap (from now on known as Paria).  Aria tells Paria that she won’t hurt her friends, and Paria laughs and says she will because Ezra is one document away from going to prison (I still don’t fully understand this, did I miss something here? Is it a document that says he hooked up with Aria in high school because ...we all know.  Or did he plagiarize something at some point? I think we aren’t supposed to know what’s in that, but sorry if I’m wrong about that and leading you astray.)

At the brew, Emily/Ali tell the others that they went to the clinic to get blood tests - It should be noticed here that a simple blood test won’t determine the paternity or maternity of your child, they probably had to do an amniocentesis and Ali should probably be resting now.   They talk about Lucas - Hanna doesnt believe he knows anything.  Emily suggests going through Lucas’ things (something I would’ve done the moment Lucas let me stay in his apartment, even before I found out he was connected to Charlotte).  They assume the loft is full of bugs, but they want to search discretely anyway.   They all leave Aria, who misses a facetime from AD.  

Spencer brings cupcakes to Marco and asks Marco about Archer Dunhill’s finger.  She’s wondering what happened (even though she knows).  He thinks Mary Drake is a possible suspect in Rollins’ death. He asks Spencer if she knew Mary was involved with Archer and she immediately said no.  She reminds him she didn’t know Archer was dead when she asked him to look for Mary.

Aria comes back to the loft to find Ezra is on the phone with Nicole’s dad.  Nicole’s parents want Ezra to go back to NY.  Ezra leaves to go run errands and Aria’s facetime rings again.  Creepy Paria is mad that Aria sent her to voicemail again.  Paria sounds just like really corny. I’m not even sure how Aria talks to her without laughing.  It seriously looks like Paige in a fun house mirror.   Aria asks what AD is getting out of this and she looks at Aria and says:

Literally, exactly like that.   Aria tells AD that Hanna and Spencer went looking for Mary Drake and found the place she hid for a few days as well as Charlotte’s father.  AD hangs up.  

Back at Rosewood High, Paige and Emily are talking about Ali’s baby. Paige doesn’t know it’s really Emily’s, she still thinks its Archer, a fact Emily doesn’t correct.  Ali calls and lets Emily know the clinic called - it’s definitely Emily’s baby but it’s not Archer’s sperm.  They don’t know who the father is....yet.  I do have a theory on this, but I’ll save it for later. 

When Spencer gets back to her place, she sees a pillow out of place and an empty wine glass.  At the door sits a wine bottle with a note inside.  It says “Need to talk please, Mary.”

Hanna and Emily are not so subtlely searching through Lucas’ apartment. Hanna asks her what she’s going to do about the baby.   Emily says whatever Ali wants to do, and then changes the subject to the boxes under Lucas’ desk.  It’s a box of comic books.  Hanna muses about how cute her and Caleb’s babies would be (they definitely would be) while they go through the box.  At the back they find a manila envelope and inside is a comic called “Arcturus” by Lucas and Charles.  Hanna and Emily later show Aria the comic.  It’s a comic about a kid geting bullied and his friend turns into a super hero to torture the friends who picked him - it includes a lot of psychological torture.  Aria suggests maybe Lucas is the father of Ali’s baby and Emily says no and takes the comic away.   I’d like to point out here that the one liar missing from this scene is Spencer who’s busy leaving a note in a wine bottle at her door for Mary Drake.  

In their next facetime call, Aria tells Paria about the weird comic book.  She asks if facetime is Lucas, and AD laughs and says would I tell you if I was?  Then says “you’re a good spy Aria, now lets see what kind of thief you are.”  Curious that Paria wants Aria to steal a comic book and the only liar not in the room when the comic book was shown was Spencer..hmmm???

Let’s return to the show - Emily is drunk at Spencer’s house (you can always count on Spencer to have plenty of wine).  Emily says she keeps thinking about the letter Mary wrote Spencer with all the pain and regret of giving up her child.  Emily doesn’t want to write a letter like that.  Spencer stares at the wine bottle with the note in it as she talks.  

A possibly drunk Emily goes to Ali’s house and tells her that she wants her to have the baby.  She wants a chance to raise the child. Ali, looking concerned and confused, says we don’t even know who the father is.  Emily says we know who the father isnt (but it could still be a psychopath though....)  Emily says she doesnt want AD to win, and Ali is like what? And Emily is like that’s not my only reason and she understands if Ali can’t but she wants her to promise to at least think about it.  Ali says she promises. 

Hanna comes back home and goes to get the comic but realizes it’s missing. She calls Spencer (odd choice) who thinks Lucas is watching them.  As she’s on the phone she notices a new note in the wine bottle.  In it is a key...now the real mystery begins.... How the hell did the key not drop to the bottom of that wine bottle???

At the brew,  Mona shows Hanna that their factory space is on a real estate site and Lucas must’ve put it there.  Hanna stares at it for a few minutes then suddenly remembering that Mona is a genius, she tells Mona that she has to show her something. 

It’s now night time and a sketchy Aria is walking through the halls of Rosewood High with a flashlight , stopping in front of locker 214.  She opens it (it’s empty) then places the envelope with the comic inside.  As she’s leaving she hears a noise in the school and runs back to the locker. When she opens it a black hoodie is now inside.  

Emily gets drinks with Paige at the Radley, and finally tells her what is going on with her and Ali's baby  Just like all of us watching, Paige can’t get over the fact that Alison is having Emily’s baby.  Paige thinks she should leave town because she doesnt know who she’ll be to Emily if she stays.  Emily tries to beg her to stay and Paige looks at her saying “this is the third time i’ve said goodbye to you, i’m never going to say it again.” They share a last kiss and Paige leaves. 

Hanna brings Mona to Ali’s and shows her Liar’s Lament.  Mona basically makes love to the game.  She says it runs on battery and when she tries to touch the game a knife comes out and she laughs.  She wishes she could’ve built something like this because it’s brilliant and beautiful.  She then takes a lot of pictures of it on her phone.  Something tells me AD won’t like this..but then again AD is too busy facetiming her new bff Aria. 

Spencer uses the key to go to a house I assume is Mary’s? There’s mail all over the floor when she walks in.  She uses her flashlight to scan instead of turning on any lights, as you do in Rosewood. 

When Aria gets back she sees a bag packed by the door and Ezra sitting on the couch.  Ezra tells her that everything is ok but he has to go talk to Nicole’s doctor….in NY becuase her parents asked him to come.  Aria is like..do you think her parents really don’t know how to talk to a doctor?  What happens when we are married? He says he’ll be back in two days and she says i don’t want you to come back, I want you to stay - you dont know what I’ve done for us.  Ezra says what Nicole went through was the worst thing in the world and when she came back everything was different and it’s not fair.  Kind of like that time that Aria was kidnapped and tortured in a dollhouse?  Then she got back and Ezra and her decided to break up. She asks him to stay again but he leaves anyway. 

Ali is sleeping on her couch when a figure hovers over her.  When she opens her eyes Paige is standing there saying “wake up the door was open you should watch that.”

Spencer sits alone on the couch in the creepy house when she hears a noise at the door.  A flashlight shines in her face and it’s Marco.  He followed her there.  Marco is on to them and says that Spencer seems like she’s the most guilty because she’s so connected to Mary Drake.  He asks her if Spencer knew that Archer was at the bar the same night that they were (last season when they made out at the Radley after Spencer broke up with Caleb) or at least his credit card was - flashback to that time Spencer accidentally pulled out Archer’s credit card to pay for their drinks and signed it with her own name.  Also when he asked that night what she was doing earlier she “jokingly” said “burying a body.” Oops. 

Don’t worry, Paige was not there to murder Ali. She is just there to say goodbye because she is leaving Rosewood. She tells Ali she doesnt want to make it any tougher but she wants to know if Ali loves Emily.  Ali says shes the last person she should ask about love.  Paige says you know Emily loves you but Ali shrugs it off saying she was a terrible person and sometimes she still is.  She doesnt want to tell the truth and Paige tells her to try.  Ali says “ i know how i feel when she looks at me, I’ve never felt that with anyone before. It’s like she sees who you really are. Maybe that’s the scariest part. You look at her, her eyes, and you want to be worth the effort. You want to be the person she sees.”  Paige is smiling bc she knows that Ali loves her. Then she gets up to leave, before she goes she says “Ali, you’re going to have a beautiful baby.”

In her ridiculous over the top Mona way, Mona has mapped out a blue print of the game, showing how it all works.  Mona says whoever made it can’t stop it now - when the game ends, the game dies. Hanna asks if Mona thinks Lucas is involved.  Mona says its not computers, it was “lovingly handmade”.  Hanna asks Mona to help her play the game and win because she’s the only person who isnt afraid of it. Mona says shes not afraid of it because she doesn’t have a game piece on it.   Mona says that someone who plays with people’s lives like this is an addict - something she knows because she once was one.  Hanna looks at her and says, yes but now you can finally beat them.

Ezra is waiting for his flight to NY at the airport.  Now I was just joking when I said the PLL team always takes the express jet to NY but I guess it’s true.  As he’s listening to the flight delay announcements, he turns and sees Spencer talking to someone in the airport.  She notices Ezra and says hello, calling him over. The guy she is with turns around and it’s WREN - with a shaved head!  She cheerily introduces Ezra to Wren as the guy who was “almost her brother in law a few times” and asks Ezra to join them for a drink, he declines and begins to walk away.  She runs to catch him and tells Ezra that Wren used to work at Radley when Charlotte was there so she’s trying to get information.  She asks Ezra if he would mind keeping it a secret that he saw her there.  Hmm...Spencer was just caught by Marco in Mary Drake’s house and now she’s cheerily at the airport with Wren?  Also she wants Ezra to not tell anyone he saw her?  Could this be.....the identical twin???

Emily finds Ali crying in the bathroom looking distraught. I really thought Ali was about to tell Emily she had a miscarriage but instead she tells her she’s going to keep the baby because she thought about “what it means and what it could mean.” They are going to do it...together. #emison

Ezra returns home from the airport to Aria.  It’s awkward but Aria apologizes for what she said earlier. There’s really no need to apologize here because Ezra is a pedophile and kind of an asshole but whatever Aria is working for AD now so.. Ezra says his flight wasn’t cancelled, he just didn’t get on it.  In her bag Aria’s phone is buzzing but she doesn’t asnwer.  

As real Spencer comes out of the shower she knocks over the wine bottle with a new note in it saying “you brought the police. I understand. Goodbye.”

In the last scene, AD is sitting at an Inspector Gadget style computer editing the facetime photo of Paria.  The voice says over and over again “I warned you, I warned you, I warned you.”  The image then holds up a file with Aria’s name on it and she laughs in such a ridiculous way I can’t help but laugh with at her. 

Overall, I’d say this episode was a little boring. No big reveals, no shocking conclusions - even revealing Wren in the airport was not that dramatic.  I do really believe that identical twin Spencer is A.  AD is still someone’s initials after all....Amelia Drake anyone?  And what about Wren? It would be really easy to switch hospital records and steal someone’s eggs if you had a doctor on your side.  So maybe Wren really did lust after Spencer all these years, then found the next best thing - her identical twin.  Is Wren the father of Emison’s baby?  And where does Melissa fall into all of this? Is she just going to disappear like Judy Winslow?   So many questions, but to be honest I’m not sure I trust I. Marlene King to give us all the answers. 

[lovethefinalseason-blog]

PLL 7B, Ep 3: Hold Your Piece

What do severed fingers and Japanese investors have in common? No it’s not the opening of a new fast food restaurant - just pieces of AD’s ultimate end game.  Before we begin, for those of you who dropped off the PLL bandwagon and are just reading these recaps because you need to know what happened but don’t have the mental energy to catch up (and believe me it takes A LOT of mental energy) here are a few details you should know before we begin.  

Remember Sydney Driscoll? Yea, me either and I’ve been watching this show the entire time.  Just kidding, how could I forget her giant lips.  If you recall, she’s old friends with Jenna Marshall, who the liars know for sure is working for AD.  In the summer finale she delivered a message to Caleb and Mona at the Radley about the liars.  Also Lucas is rich now and lets Hanna live in his house for free and told Hanna that he’d invest in her fashion empire, even though he owns a tech company that has nothing to do with fashion.  

As the episode opens, a baby is crying as Spencer sleeps. She wakes up frustrated and confused at the sound, goes to the living room and finds the game phone lit up with a cartoon baby crying.  She turns down the volume then goes back to bed but it immediately starts back up again.  She then takes the phone and turns it off but before she can walk away the whole game lights up and the phone turns itself on again. 

Spencer does the only logical thing, smashes the phone calls the liars over in the middle of the middle of the night to talk about it.   They suggest locking it in Ali’s house since she’s out of town.  Emily says that “she had something she had to deal with” and they all nod and decide there is a lot of paperwork involved in being the wife of a psychopath that they killed with a car.  Hanna thinks she’s changing her name back to Dilaurentis since “Alison Rollins sounds like a mouth full of muffins.”  As they argue whether or not Mary Drake is behind this, the phone suddenly stops crying and a message pops up “Play with me Hanna..A.D.”  It’s Hanna’s turn to play.  

The next morning Emily and Hanna are drinking coffee at Hanna’s Lucas’ apartment.  Emily asks if Caleb saw the phone but Hanna said she hid it in her purse because “guys won’t go through a girl’s purse because they are too afraid to touch a tampon.”   Just then Caleb walks in with a stack of newspapers.  Mona got Hanna into the style edition of what looks to be Rosewood’s version of the New York Times.  Hanna decides that 9am is the perfect time to pop a bottle of champagne to celebrate but before they can take a sip Emily finds a popular blogger “runway rebel” has a headline reading “stolen design on senators daughter?”with a picture of Catherine wearing Hanna’s cursed dress from last week.   

Toby is at the Brew when Spencer walks in. He tells her that Yvonne (his fiance) is out of her coma but still has a ways to go.  Spencer, the former Adderall addict, starts talking about all the drug therapies and treatments Yvonne can do but Toby stops her, saying he’ll let the doctors handle it.  Then Marco aka hot cop walks in and Toby takes his leave. Marco says he left a message for Spencer about a private detective but Spencer says right now “I have to focus on people in my life that aren’t missing.” Marco asks if that includes him with a flirty smile.  He says he planned an entire day for Spencer to take her mind off the fact that he hasn’t found the person who shot her.

Aria, Hanna, Emily and Caleb are trying to figure out where blogger got her info.  The blogger quotes a “BLIND item” and an “Anonymous source” prompting Hanna to conclude “you can’t spell annonymous without AD”.  Caleb, who can break into any security systems but the girls still don’t trust to break into the phone that comes with the game, says that Jenna checked out of the Radley so they decide the next logical step is to find Jenna’s friend Sydney. Caleb does some more of his tech magic to locate Sydney then as he’s handing Hanna some Batman level gadgets (including a listening pen), Aria notices a story on TV about Ezra and Nicole.  Nicole is being interviewed about how happy she is to be back with Ezra. When the others notice her watching it she quickly turns it off and says that Ezra will be back after Nicole is better.  They will always “find their way back to each other.”  

Emily visits Yvonne and Toby at the hospital. As Toby is telling her that Yvonne hasn’t spoken yet, she suddenly wakes up and calls out Toby’s name.  He tells Emily to get the nurse and runs in to be with her. 

Caleb is grabbing some more GPS trackers when Hanna hears the phone buzz in her purse (where Caleb, tech wizard and owner of 100 GPS trackers will never find it...) The message says “Answer the Door”. There’s a knock on the door but Hanna is too paralyzed to answer. The knocking continues and Caleb comes out to answer.  When he opens the door he freezes and Hanna, freaking out, asks who it is.  Caleb responds its....you.  Then we see that standing at the door is a MANNEQUIN OF HANNA WITH STITCHES ON HER FACE.

Hanna finally tells Caleb about Liars Lament and Caleb is like...but I can hack phones though?  He’s also discovered that the doll can talk if you pull the cord in the back.  It says “For more information please see the appendix.”

Marco brings Spencer to an after school program for kids with a game room. His buddy reserved the room so they can play ping pong by themselves.  

Toby is trying to help Yvonne in the hospital.  He asks her to pick up a small ball. She does.  Then he tells her to switch hands and squeeze it, she does that too.  Then he takes out their engagement rings and says he thinks they should get married, right now in the hospital.  She slowly picks up the rings and says “I Do” as she slips it on his finger. 

 Lucas is back from wherever he was before.  He’s investigating the blog drama for Hanna but says he’s not worried about it.  He’s organized a group of Japanese investors to look at Hanna’s fashion line. He asks to have a look at one of the designs and is about to uncover the weird Hanna mannequin when she stops him. Thinking she’s just superstitious he laughs it off and tells her to meet him at the Radley at 7PM for the meeting.

Aria and Emily are looking up Sydney on Rosewood’s version of facebook.  She checked into a charity event at the Manhattan Children’s Charity 2 days ago, the same event as the senator’s daughter.  They now think that Sydney is possibly AD and/or the other shooter.  

While on the phone with Caleb, Hanna is still searching for the mysterious appendix.  Caleb is carefully inspecting the game with some sort of green laser pointer.   Hanna notices something on the mannequin then asks Caleb if he remembers the game Operation.  She realizes that “appendix” means the body’s appendix and as she lifts the shirt of the mannequin she sees stitches right where the appendix would be taken out.  Hanna puts the doll on some sort of operating table and begins to cut it open.... AND IT BLEEDS.  

She then uses tweezers to extract a plastic bag containing a dress with a note that says “wear me.”

Spencer and Marco are still playing ping pong.  She tells him she learned to play at “Horseback riding camp.”  Marco says that he learned to play on this very table.  Spencer wins and tells him she needed that win. Marco responds “I’m the real winner here”. He starts spurting info on the case, and says they still can’t find Rollins. Spencer goes to play more ping pong but Marco notices that Spencer’s shoulder bullet wound is bleeding. He goes to find a first aid kit and she notices the kid art on the wall.  It’s a drawing Marco made when he was little. He grew up in this after school type program.  Then her phone buzzes with missed calls from Emily. 

Emily and Aria are in a car outside the building where Sydney works.  Aria says she can use Sidney’s office wifi to hack her phone - seriously no you can’t. This is not a thing.   She takes out an FBI level tracking computer and says Caleb taught her how to hack this morning. Yea...ok. 

Hanna discovers that the outfit A wants her to wear is a really short and sexy Japanese kimono.  Her investors are Japanese so she thinks she will offend them and lose all the money.  Caleb asks what happens if you just refuse to play then realizes that AD knows they killed Rollins.  Caleb says he’ll try to stop the board before she meets the board (get it?).  

Emily walks by Sydney and pretends to just run into her.   Sydney is like “oh hell no” who sent you. Emily tells her she’s here about Jenna. Sydney says she’s glad its Emily instead of the cops. She said all she did was deliver a message to Caleb and Mona at the Radley and nothing else.  She regrets reconnecting with Jenna and says that was the last favor she ever does for her.  Sydney then asks why Emily is still caught up in all of this  Then she takes her coffee and walks away.  When Emily returns to the car Aria has discovered that Sydney has an appointment at the eye institute later in the day and Emily is pissed that Sydney lied to her.   Sydney calls the eye institute (and Aria/Emily can hear all her calls and read her text messages since they are “hacked in” to her phone) to put a deposit for a surgery procedure for Jenna.  Sydney says that the “A.D” on the deposit stood for “anonymous donor”.   An incoming text from a blocked number to Sydney says “did you do it?”  She answers “its done.”

Marco is cleaning up Spencer’s wound when she mentions the picture Marco drew as a kid.  Marco admits he was a shy, chubby kid with glasses.  He says his mother had problems with pills...sort of like Spencer...but she’s clean now and they talk once a month on the phone. The lady who used to run this children’s program took care of him, acting like a surrogate mom.  He says they should ice the shoulder but Spencer doesn’t want to go back because this game room is “so beautiful.” .  He tells her she doesn’t have to drive herself crazy choosing between her two moms, just love the people who want the best for you. (including him!!) Then they start making out.  

We briefly touch on Toby and Yvonne getting married in the hospital. Unable to move from the bed, they’ve draped a decorated white hospital gown over her shoulders.  Toby wears a suit and bow tie as they place rings on each other.

Aria and Emily confront Sydney, basically trying to kidnap her.  Like the rest of us, she is confused as to how they know her whole schedule.  She tries to escape but Aria does some karate moves on her (taught to her by Holden perhaps?).  She says that she doesn’t personally know anyone with the initials AD, its just an account that wants to remain anonymous. She also says she doesn’t know where Jenna is and that Jenna’s games have gotten too dangerous for her taste.  Aria throws Sydney’s bag back at her and walks away.   They apparently put GPS trackers in her bag.  Emily calls Hanna.  Hanna is in the kimono dress and says shes about to flush her entire future down the toilet. 

Caleb is now using a stethoscope to hear inside the game when Spencer walks in.  She’s surprised Caleb knows about the game.  He can’t figure it out or open it or do anything but he thinks that the screws are underneath the buildings.  Then they realize that it might be weird for them to be in the same room because remember that time they were sleeping together.  It suddenly gets awkward so Spencer offers him a beer. He accepts and they smile, they are over each other! Yay. Spencer starts to tell him about this guy she spent the whole day with. And Caleb is like oo is it that cop.  He asks if he’s good to her because she deserves that.  Spencer starts bleeding again but tells Caleb it’s no big deal and goes to order some food.  As she turns around,  a steam of  gas spurts up from the game and Caleb falls down in convulsions.  Spencer calls 911. 

At the Radley, Hanna shows up in a trench coat with her rack of dresses.  Lucas helps her and Hanna says that this is amazing and shes so grateful.  She says he’s the most generous friend and makes him promsie they will always be friends.  As they are walking in her phone buzzes, Caleb is in the hospital.  Lucas takes her sketchbook and says he’s got this, just go.

Toby and Yvonne are celebrating their hospital wedding eating some vending machine cake.  Toby asks her about their honeymoon.  In a strained voice, she says she’d rather have city than beach.  He suggests Buenos Aries and Patagonia.  She says she wants to go to Moscow in the winter to an ice rink that lights up at night.  Toby decides that’s where they will spend their first Christmas then they will travel around.  He asks her if shes happy and she just barely whispers“happiest”.  Then she closes her eyes and the flowers fall out of her hand...

Hanna is with Caleb in the hospital.  He’s fine but says that this is worse than the time Hanna sprayed hair spray in his face.  He told the hospital that he mixed chemicals himself so they didn’t ask any questions.   She says the game doesn’t matter, she just wants him to be OK.  Her phone dings, she looks at it then runs out to the waiting room where Spencer, Emily and Aria are waiting for her.  She shows them her phone message -  “Hey loser - goodbye to your prize - AD”.  Hanna lashes out at Spencer because all she had to do on her turn was visit her friend in the hospital.  Emily and Aria stop her and say this is all part of AD’s plan and they need to stick together.   Spencer says shes going to visit Toby and Yvonne.  Emily’s phone dings. Its the GPS tracker on Sydney and she tells Aria she’s going to follow her tonight. 

Spencer finds Toby wandering around the hospital hallway distraught and crying.  He collapses into her arms. Yvonne is dead.  

Aria returns home to her apartment, leaving a message for Ezra that Sabrina, the girl who worked at the coffee shop, quit and she doesn’t know what to do. Oh yea, remember when Ezra bought the coffee shop? Aria says she can’t run this business by herself.  As she puts down her keys a dark figure emerges from the background.  Aria grabs a knife but when she turns on the lights it’s Nicole, Ezra’s supposed fiance who was in the hospital in NY.  

In the final scene Marco, surrounded by some generic cop extras, is slowly opening a package marked “Rosewood Police”.  Inside is a cloth bundle that he slowly unwraps to find.....a finger.  Archer Dunhill’s perhaps? This is what happens when you don’t play AD’s game...although I think the person sending the finger is who the cops are going to look at so again I don’t understand AD’s “End Game”. 

[lovethefinalseason-blog]

PLL 7B, Ep 2: These Boots Were Made for Stalking

Welcome back former Pretty Little Liars fans.  Sorry for the delay, unlike the ladies of PLL I can’t just blink my eyes and be back in NY in time to watch the latest episode.  

When we last left the liars, the miracle doctors of Rosewood saved Spencer’s life from a near fatal gun wound by giving her an arm sling and a prescription for 2 bottles of wine daily.  Mrs. Hastings, the only adult actor the producers can afford at this point, confirms that Mary Drake is indeed Spencer’s biological mother.  Ezra comes back from visiting his former girlfriend recently rescued from a year in captivity after being kidnapped by “revolutionaries” while traveling with Ezra through South America, but quickly jets back to NY leaving Aria confused about their upcoming nuptials. Luckily former Korean Martial Arts master turned wedding venue chef Holden is back to comfort her.  Mona helps Hanna start her fashion empire by getting a “senator’s daughter”, Catherine, to commission a dress made by Hanna for a big event.   Emily is now co-coach of the Rosewood High School swim team along with her ex-girlfriend Paige.  Also back at Rosewood High? Ali, teaching English and complaining about being 6 weeks pregnant with her dead psycho husband’s child.  

As we begin Tuesday’s episode, the liars are standing around the board game AD sent them, Liar’s Lament, wondering if it has a hidden camera inside.   Ali is convinced that Jenna is behind the game, but Hanna shuts her down saying “How can she invent a board game if she can’t even tell if her blouse is inside out?”  Hanna is still pissed at Spencer for playing the game at all.  They weirdly suggest Big Lips Sidney is behind it sending Emily into a rage.  She refuses to play the game and thinks they should just go to the police and say they hit Rollins with their car and buried him in the woods.  The others do not agree, but Emily is done and walks out of the barn. Hanna says they need to be in this together.

Outside her and Ezra’s apartment, Aria runs into a suspicious character poking around the outside of the building.  He says he’s a journalist looking for Ezra to do a human interest about his fiancé being found alive.   She tells the journalist that Nicole is not his fiance, she is before storming off. 

Emily and Paige are discussing the swim team in the locker room at Rosewood High. They are concerned about a talented swimmer, Addison, who didn’t show up to the last practice.  They then start talking about their own sordid relationship history as well as Emily’s intense relationship with Ali. As they are inappropriately discussing their sexual past in a high school locker room, the camera pans away to a student putting on makeup listening in.  She’s intrigued by her coach’s lesbian pasts.  Emily notices her, and we find out that this is the student Addison that they were just discussing.  Emily says she didn’t realize she was in here, and Addison responds with a smirk and a stare down saying“I’m a quiet dresser”

Spencer walks in to her mom saying to someone on the phone “just give her a few more weeks.”  She asks her mom why dad is avoiding her and why did Melissa pretend to be shocked that Jason was her half brother.  Spencer’s mom claims that Melissa knew nothing about Spencer’s past (and apparently very little about where babies come from). 

Mona meets Hanna at their new fashion studio, saying Catherine (the Senator’s daughter) chose a dress to wear to her event and that she talked her out of wearing gloves because “if she starts covering up her arms, people will think she’s a stripper.”  When Mona unzips the dress bags, Hanna realizes Mona took dresses from Hanna’s closet and not the clothing rack.  She freaks out when she sees the dress Catherine chose but won’t tell Mona why.  I was hoping it was because it was a dress that Sarah Harvey or someone was buried in but we find out later, it’s because it’s a dress her old fashion designer boss Claudia hated.  

Ali, allowed to be a high school English teacher again even after her stint in a mental hospital and possible involvement in multiple murders, is teaching her class when Spencer comes in to yell at Addison for missing practice with an unexplained absence. Addison claims she was out sick with a headache but Emily doesn’t believe her and tells her that she’s off the roster for Saturday’s swim meet.  Addison, without looking up from her phone, asks Emily if she’s sure she wants to do that. Then gets up and sass walks out of the classroom.  Emily looks back at Ali who says yes, that girl was way worse than I was in high school.  She then wonders if the child she is carrying will also be a monster.  Emily gives her a hug and we see that Addison is now listening by the door and taking pictures of this lesbian scandal. 

Marco, AKA hot cop AKA the only cop in Rosewood, shows up at Spencer’s door sweaty from his morning run.  Spencer wants to know if he’s still looking for Mary Drake (I’m not sure why he wouldn’t be, she was just involved in the beheading of a young man).  She asks him to make it his top priority, then shows him the letter Mary Drake wrote (that came out of the Liar’s Lament board game last week) claiming she found it recently in her mom’s house. 

Back at school, Addison puts on her best innocent victim face and confronts Paige about an “issue” she’s having with Emily.  She claims that Emily only removed her from the swim meet lineup as a punishment for not responding to her sexual advances. She claims that Emily has been inappropriate with several members of the swim team. She shows the pictures of Emily and Ali to Paige.    Paige is immune to this level of BS but tells Addison to send her the pictures and she’ll deal with it. 

Aria is hanging out with Holden in the kitchen of the wedding venue.  He’s freaking out because the rehearsal dinner he’s catering tonight just doubled in size. Aria offers to help, putting on an apron and hesitating before taking off her engagement ring.  She tells Holden that Nicole’s family rented an apartment near the hospital in NY for Ezra.  She was freaking out that the journalist thought Ezra and Nicole were engaged but now she’s wondering if they were actually engaged and Ezra just never told her.   Holden asks if anyone else aside from Ezra ever told her they loved her.  She says yes and he asks if Ezra knows that saying “just because you met him in eleventh grade doesn’t mean he’s frozen in amber.”  It does however mean he’s super creepy and should be in prison.  Later in the episode, Aria gets a news alert about Ezra. It seems the journalist got his human interest story after all, the article features pictures of Ezra and Nicole hugging and looking happy. 

Paige talks to Emily about Addison, telling her she knows the girl is lying but she might go to the principal about the photo of her and Ali.  Emily doesn’t think it’s a big deal because the principal knows about her past (and was still willing to hire her..).  Paige convinces Emily that they should tell the principal about Addison but Emily is worried that if Paige challenges Addison she might go after her too. Paige sasses back that Addison doesn’t have any pictures of her.   Paige tells Emily to take the night off so she can put out some fires with the team mates and talk to the principal. 

Spencer is at the police station with Marco, helping him search for Mary Drake. He says she checked into a hotel a few nights ago but was gone by the time they got there.  He asks Spencer if she’s sure she really wants to find Mary because she could’ve been the one who shot her.  This is confusing because if the cops think that...wouldn’t they be looking for her anyway?  He asks her where she found the letter and if her parents still know how to contact Mary.  Suddenly Spencer here’s the tapping of a blind person’s cane and Jenna shows up saying “i believe you’ve been looking for me?”  She says she’s been hiding but she needs to tell someone the truth before asking if Marco is sure Noel Kahn is dead. She then acts out a sad story about how Noel wanted to kill her too like he killed Sarah Harvey. Noel allegedly told her that the money that CeCe had left behind was for Jenna to pay for another eye surgery.  He wanted the money for himself since his parents cut him off leaving him broke. Blind crying Jenna can’t see Spencer and Marco rolling their eyes at each other.  It’s easy to fake crying when you wear giant sunglases all the time.  Marco has another cop lead Jenna to a conference room as he reminds Spencer that Jenna’s gun doesn’t match the bullet that shot her.  Spencer texts Hanna (who is currently leaving messages for her old boss Claudia) that Jenna is back. She also shows up to the wedding venue kitchen to let Aria know as well. 

Emily’s on the phone with Hanna at the brew when she hears Jenna’s cane behind her.  Jenna, now walking with two possibly blind bodyguards, takes out a phone to send a message then leaves.  Emily then notices Addison in the back of the coffee shop reading a message on her phone. 

Spencer is going to look at a new field office in Philly with her mom (for her mom’s future political career).  She tells her mom that she will no longer be working for her and Mrs. Hastings responds by telling Spencer her and her dad are selling the house and moving away from Rosewood.  Spencer doesn’t react, leading to a dramatic speech from Mrs. Hastings about all their “wonderful” memories in this house and that all she ever wanted was to keep Spencer safe. 

At the Radley - the former mental institution turned hotel and bar hang out - Mona is showing Hanna all the accessories she picked out for Catherine.  She then hears the telltale cane and sees Jenna walk in in the same dress Catherine commissioned, only in white.  Mona flies into a rage while Hanna sits there pouting.  She confronts Jenna about it, but Jenna just responds that it was a gift then leaves with her two blind assassins.  Hanna tells a confused Mona that this is probably all part of the game. Mona, unaware of the Liar’s Lament board game, is understandably confused. 

Emily is freaking out to Ali about Addison and she begs Ali to let her play the game.  She’s convinced Addison is working with AD. She then confesses to Ali that the only reason she graduated college was because she let AD take her final exam for her.  Ali gives her the key to the game but says they need to play it together. 

Haleb is/are now following blind Jenna and the assassins. The two men go into a shoe repair shop while Jenna waits outside talking on the phone.  Caleb sneaks up behind Jenna but he doesn’t surprise her since, she says she can smell Hanna on him. He asks her why she’s here and she says she’s meeting friends to rehearse for a concert.  While Caleb distracts her, Hanna sneaks into the shop.   Caleb confronts Jenna about the dress made from the stolen sketch but Jenna doesn’t respond.  In the shoe repair shop, none of the lights work (of course) and someone locks Hanna in a cage.  Hanna freaks out as all the machines start to turn on and she begins to have flash backs both from being locked in the dollhouse and her second torture/kidnapping incident by Archer Dunhill.  As she sits on the floor panicking, her phone lights up with a message from AD “wait your turn, bitch. It’ll come. And you’ll be ready.” At this point we can safely conclude that AD is not English teacher Ali as this AD has no grasp of how to use punctuation.  Caleb finds Hanna in the corner of the cage crying and uses some tools to get her out. 

Ali and Emily open the game and see the puzzle piece that Spencer added last time in the center.  The phone lights up and a video plays of Addison and her boyfriend making out in a car behind the Brew on the day that Addison claims she was home with a headache. So far this new uber A seems more helpful than hurtful.  Emily later confronts Addison with the video, but ends up channeling her own high school experience and yells at Addison as if she’s high school Ali.  Paige intervenes saying that someone forwarded the principal and Addison’s parents a copy of an email Addison wrote in computer lab, bragging about taking down Emily.  This “someone” is very likely AD. 

Aria has magically teleported herself to the hospital in New York and convinces a nurse outside to let her in so she can give her “friend” a gift of salt water taffy. As the lady opens the door, Holden runs up and tells her not to do it.  He takes her out to eat pizza instead. 

 After the Addison confrontation, Paige offers a stoic Emily a ride home.  She accepts but on her way out checks her school mailbox. Inside is a blank envelope containing another puzzle piece.  Her phone beeps and another badly punctuated message from AD reads “embrace your darkness, Em, I’ve had to. That’s how you win the game.”

In the final scene, the liars stand around the board game as Emily connects her puzzle piece with Spencer’s in the center.  Spencer figures out that the puzzle is  a map and they wonder what or who AD wants them to find.  As the camera pans away you see someone is watching them outside the window because even after seven years no one has even thought of closing the blinds. 

[lovethefinalseason-blog]

PLL 7B, Ep 1: PlayTime

Well hello former Pretty Little Liars fans. I assume you are here because you want to find out what happens on the show but you don’t want to actually watch the show because let’s be real honest, it’s an absolute garbage fire. 

So let’s recap important things you missed in 7A. Fair warning at many points throughout this recap you might think I just fell asleep and started making shit up to cover my ass but I assure you all of this really happened.  So last season Ali convinced all her friends to testify on CeCe’s behalf to get her out of her psych ward, even though she killed multiply people and stalked them for multiple years.  They succeed but before you can say what the f--CeCe is already dead. Ali is distraught but finds comfort in the arms of CeCe’s doctor Dr. Rollins, who she then falls in love with and Aria (yes, Aria) marries them in a ceremony in her backyard.  But then in a shock to no one he turns out to be not Dr. Rollins at all but a man named Archer Dunhill and he convinces Ali she’s insane by having her mother’s long lost identical twin pose as her dead mother at the window of her house multiple times.  Ali is then committed to a mental institute, and when the girls realize that ghost Mrs. D was actually a real Mrs. D named Mary Drake they save Ali but not before Archer kidnaps her (and also gets her pregnant).  The liars follow them to the woods, kill him with their car and instead of calling the police - who at this point are FULLY aware that Archer Dunhill is bad news - they bury him in the woods while crying about it.   Eventually they figure out that Noel Kahn and Jenna are behind some of this so they follow them to an abandoned house.  In a scene straight out of Final Destination, Noel gets his head chopped off by a Knight costume and blind Jenna somehow shoots Spencer.  Mary Drake comes to her rescue knocking out Jenna and comforting Spencer.  As she watches Spencer struggle for air she sings her a lullaby and tells her she’d never leave her because she’s her mother.  In the final scene you see that Toby and his fiance have gotten into what looks to be a fatal car accident and uber A (hereby known as AD rescues Jenna).  

As the episode opens, Spencer is in an ambulance with an EMT asking her what her name is and then asking her if she knows who her mother is.  Obviously she doesn’t and I don’t think an EMT would really ask this question multiple times as someone is dying an ambulance.  At the hospital the girls think the thoughts of audiences everywhere aloud and wonder how Noel and Jenna could be behind this whole thing.  As they are there Toby is wheeled in by EMTs on a stretcher.  Hanna looks over and says “Toby’s here where’s he going?”.  Surgery Hanna, he’s going into surgery. 

Cut to one week later.  Toby has escaped the fatal car accident with a scratch and a cane.  His fiance is in a medically induced coma and even though she was shot in the heart, Spencer is already out of the hospital and snooping around Mary Drake’s house.   Ezra, who I forgot to mention had gone to South America because his girlfriend who was kidnapped by “revolutionaries” a year ago was found alive, is back and he finds Aria with a suitcase leaving their apartment.  He gives her a hug and puts her bag back into their room, showing her that he’s not leaving (yet).  Hanna wakes up in bed with Caleb and tells him that they have to track down Jenna (since at no point have cops been involved at this point.  Again it’s only been one week since Noel was beheaded and Spencer was shot but not a cop in sight).  Caleb takes out her sketchbook of fashion designs and says that she once cared about this dream so much it broke them up and she can’t give up on it now.  There’s a psycho serial killer after you but what about your DREAMS Hanna.  Emily is now coaching the varsity swim team at Rosewood High School with her ex girlfriend Paige. Ali comes in and tells her that she’s “having the baby of a perfect stranger” and her life is ruined. I would think her life was ruined when her crazy half sister started stalking her because Ali was born biologically female so her parents loved her more, then her mother was murdered and all her friends were stalked by a series of psychos but no, this baby is what finally ruins her life.  No one mentions the possibility of an abortion - it’s a family show.  

Aria and Ezra have an awkward conversation in their kitchen.  Nicole (the kidnapped girlfriend) had some broken bones that didn’t heal properly so they need to be rebroken and reset. She’s recovering in NY and wasn’t ready to talk to him.  Aria receives a text from Spencer “SOS at Barn” and leaves Ezra to join the other liars.   

At the barn, Spencer who was just SHOT IN THE HEART but only just has her arm in a sling and the other liars are standing around a big black box with a red ribbon on it and a note that says “It’s Playtime - AD”.  Also instead of calling each other, now would be a good time to CALL THE POLICE. Also did anyone find Noel Kahn’s head rolling around?  These are important facts we’re causally glossing over.  The open the box and inside is a board game called “Liars Lament”.  It is an exact replica of Rosewood, in the center is a square in the shape of a phone and conveniently, taped to the side is a phone.  The phone lights up and says “Bitches.” Clever.   At this point, I’m just going to say it. Ravenswood was less bat shit crazy than this show.  Ghosts looking for their long lost love makes so much more sense than a killer who can somehow make a board game replica of their town and deliver it to their house with absolutely no one noticing.

Hanna suggests throwing it in a fire.  They discuss whether it could’ve been Noel or Jenna who sent it but decide Noel is too dumb (and he has no head) and Jenna is well..blind.  Sorry not to discriminate against the blind but its kind of hard to make an exact town replica when you can’t see the town.  They then suggest Mary Drake, who let’s remember confessed to being Spencer’s mother. Spencer claims that she’s a liar, which her own mom will prove when she gets home tomorrow.  Wait WHAT.  Spencer was shot in the heart  arm but her mom is on vacation somewhere? Ali, surprisingly the only smart one, says they should turn it into the police but Aria thinks it will blow up before they get it to them.  Spencer realizes that theres only a few steps left to play then it’s all over - to be honest, I rewound this and watched it again and still don’t get how Spencer came to that conclusion but OK.  

Aria talks to Hannah about her Ezra situation - way more important than the psycho serial killer stalking you or going to the police. So glad seeing your high school crush get beheaded hasn’t changed you Aria.  Hanna says that she should be there for Ezra.  Emily is talking to Ali about her new job. Ali is skeptical as to why they hired both her and Paige (shade at the writers much?).  Emily says she will be there for her and the baby (I should also mention that Emily and Ali hooked up last season in what seemed like a desperate 1990s attempt to get ratings - hot girls making out!).  

After the board game reveal, Mona and Hanna are at a restaurant eating lunch outdoors.  Hanna is sketching some fashion designs.  Mona mentions a competition in Philly for fashion design (convenient).  Hanna says shes not well known enough to enter, and Mona tells her you can get any job without a resume if you find the right people to trust you.  All she needs is a model for the clothes (and like...actual clothes not sketches I’d assume, but that doesn’t seem to be an issue).  Hanna is skeptical, but Mona takes out her phone and starts taking pictures of her portfolio, then tells Hanna to trust her.  

Spencer is at the police station with the hot cop she made out with last season.  He asks Spencer if she knew Archer Dunhill (aka Ali’s dead husband) knew Jenna and Noel. She says no (liar). He says they knew him when he was Dr. Rollins. She innocently asks if he thinks he’s still in France (knowing full well that he’s buried in the woods somewhere - or not, I think his body disappeared at some point).  He says he’s not sure but someone is in France. Astute observation cop.  He then takes out a gun from his desk and asks Spencer if she recognizes it and she says yes (I mean, it’s not a particularly unique gun so I don’t know how this is savy police work).  She’s certain it’s the gun that Jenna shot her with. The cop then tells her that this gun is a 45 and she was shot with a 22. Spencer is shocked that there’s another gun - but I’m shocked that no one is like..how do you know the difference between a 22 and a 45 Spencer when you were shot in a dark abandoned building.  Spencer is also shocked to learn that one gun is still missing just like Jenna Marshall and Mary Drake.  So I guess they did go to the police, which leads to more questions - why do they not have a protective detail on their house considering these girls have been kidnapped and almost killed MULTIPLE TIMES.  Does social media exist in Rosewood? Can’t they just put out a Facebook bulletin - hey look out for this blind girl and Mrs. D’s identical twin wandering around town guys, just FYI they shot me.  

Hanna and Aria are setting tables for Aria’s wedding (I literally have no idea how or why Aria’s wedding is happening already).   They are surprised Spencer hasn’t talked to Toby yet (I’m not?).  Then suddenly Holden shows up.  We remember Holden as the guy Aria sort of liked but then sort of thought was A but then it turns out that his secret was doing Korean martial arts with a heart condition …. anyway his sister owns the wedding venue and he’s the chef.   Holden is surprised she is getting married to Ezra.  He gives her a tour of this place and asks her a lot of wedding questions she doesn’t know how to answer any of them.  

Hanna meets Mona at the Radley, to meet with a Senator’s daughter, Catherine Daily.  Catherine is doing a fundraiser for her Dad and she wants to wear one of Hanna’s designs.  Mona says she should come by the studio, confusing Hanna and the rest of the PLL audience.  Mona says that she doesn’t know Catherine Daily, Catherine Daily knows me.  No word on how she got a studio or Hanna’s clothes made in 4 hours.  

When Spencer gets home her mom is there.  She’s happy to see Spencer, and asks Spencer what happened.  How? What? Spencer recaps all of last season in a minute then asks her mom if she wants wine.  Her mom looks confused, and says, how are you though?  Her mom is immediately suspicious about Mary Drake, and Spencer tells her mom that Mary told her that she’s her birth mother.  Her mom says that she’s insane, but doesn’t deny what she says is true.  Her mom precedes to tell her the story - she was working and Jessica knocked on the door and asked to borrow a lawnmower, then randomly told her about her twin sister who had problems.  She told her Mary was pregnant and they knew who the father was, and it was Spencer’s Dad- he mistook Mary Drake in a bar for Jessica.  So basically her dad got both twins pregnant.  Her mom decided to adopt her and pretend she was hers.  Spencer’s mad she stayed with her Dad. She asks if her mom was there when she was born and she says “close by” and we cut to the most awkward 1920s style flashback where her mom is handed the baby in a car outside the hospital, 5 minutes after she was born (she literally tells Spencer it was 5 minutes after she was born) 

Spencer screams “you’re not my mother” and storms out.  

Aria is still walking around town with Holden. He saw her on TV (I think after the kidnapping?) so he came back to town.  They run into a distracted Ezra who tells her he has to go to NY, then runs down the block.   Holden is concerned and asks her who Nicole is.  She stares at him - either she doesn’t know how to explain Ezra’s ex or she’s confused how Holden saw Aria on TV but not the 24 hour coverage last season of Ezra’s kidnapped girlfriend.  

Back at Hanna’s “studio” there’s a rack of clothes that were miraculously made in the last 2 hours.  Catherine is trying on clothes and tells Hanna to call her boss and set up a meeting.  Hanna is confused until Catherine says, “Mona - she’s lucky to have you.”  Caleb is also there and is mad Mona took over Hanna’s “business”.  To be fair, in one day Mona took Hanna’s sketches, rented a studio and had a rack of clothes made.  Later in the episode, Mona is happy that Catherine is buying 2 of Hanna’s dresses, but Hanna is pissed that Mona took over.  She tells Mona she could’ve did this by herself (I really don’t think that’s true) and Mona apologize, saying Hanna is the boss.  Hanna then demands business cards, which is something you would ask for from...your boss. 

Paige, Ali and Emily are having a meeting with another teacher, Mrs. Horowitz.  Ali immediately turns into bitchy Ali and says its really great that Paige is pushing her comfort zone, and talked about her as a student when she was super aggressive and competitive.  Mrs. Horowitz is clearly uncomfortable as am I - can the writers just pick a personality for Ali and stick with it.  Emily tells Ali to cut it out.  Later on Emily is pissed and tells Ali she’s distancing people who get close to her.  Emily asks “why do we have to keep showing you that we love you”  I ask this question every time I watch this show.  Ali is mad that her life is a mess.  Ali claims that all her memories are lies, which is not really true.  Then Emily asks her why she kissed her - because she wanted to or because she wanted her to leave.  She says she doesn’t know and Emily tells her not to kiss her again until she knows.  

Spencer is drunk at the barn with the board game when she gets a text from A.D. telling her to start playing the game.  The cell phone lights up and tells her to place the phone in the center.  The screen then goes black and a truth or dare option comes up.   She hesitates about picking truth then picks dare instead.  It brings up a picture of Toby (I think this is actually Toby’s acting headshot), saying “visit a sick friend, get a reward” and the hospital icon lights up on the board.   Spencer stares at the square.  Of all the dares this seems like the LEAST challenging to be honest.  It didn’t say go tell the police you hit someone with your car and buried him in the woods then made everyone believe that he’d fled to France.  

At the hospital Toby is sitting outside his fiance’s room.  Spencer walks in and they hug.  She tells him she’s sorry and they have an awkward I almost called you moment.  Toby says he talked to Marco (aka hot cop) who told him what happened.  Yvonne is not good. She’s still in a coma.  Toby blames himself for what happened. Spencer says it’s not his fault, to which Toby responds “Maybe not the rest of the world, but this is Rosewood.” Truer words never spoken.  Toby says maybe the town has to disappear before we can leave - is Toby going to bomb the town?  That would be an epic conclusion.  Spencer makes a long boat metaphor then tells him to put on his glasses. 

Spencer comes home from the hospital takes off her arm sling and drinks the rest of her never ending glass of wine.  The game lights up again.  It says “here’s your prize” and a ticket comes out like an arcade game.  It’s an envelope from Radley that says “for my child”.  In it is a single puzzle piece.  The piece fits in the square in the middle of the board game.  There’s also a letter that Mary wrote before she was born, apologizing for giving birth to her in a madhouse and hoping one day she can forgive her.  In the next scene Spencer is asleep on the couch and it appears someone is walking in over her. We are led to believe this is Uber A but it’s just her mom (Mariska Hargitay Mom, not Mary Drake Mom).  She sees the letter next to her but doesn’t pick it up or read it, just looks at Spencer and smiles - hmm suspicious much?

Emily tells Paige she talked to Ali and that Ali is not the same person she was before.   Paige tells her not to make excuses for Ali listing all the things Ali has been over the years to show that Ali is always the victim.  She says some people make a habit of being rescued, just how other people make a habit of jumping in after them. Emily gets a message.

They are all at Spencer’s barn now, mad at Spencer for playing the game alone.  She says she wasn’t thinking (i.e. she was drunk). Hanna suggests breaking open the game - she takes a knife and is about to chop it when the phone lights up and shows a video of them digging up Rollins Archer Dunhill with a note that says “can’t stop playing now.”  

In the final scene, Jenna is drinking tea in a black room with a single chair.  She hands the tea back to someone and says “you said you’d tell me today about the game”, a faceless person in scrubs drops a file on her lap. She opens it up and reads it  - luckily it’s all in braille.  She has a shocked look on her face as she scrolls over the words then whispers “End Game”.  

So is Mariska Hargitay uber A? She didn’t seem surprised by Mary Drake’s letter next to Spencer.  What about the person in scrubs? Is this a hint that Archer Dunhill, though hit by a car and buried, is still alive?  Or is it possibly...Wren?  We’ll soon find out.